For three wearisome days, Joey moped around the place. During that time, his mates seldom spoke to him and even more seldom made straight eye contact. Joey wanted to be angry with them all, but felt he lacked the energy for that. For that matter, it felt like someone had pulled a plug on his emotions, leaving him cold and empty.

He did join the guys for at least two meals each day, but he might as well have dined with total strangers. Lance was easily the friendliest of the bunch and the only one to utilize more than six words at a time. The rest of the guys behaved civilly enough, including JC, but Joey could still make out the barrier between them. Joey ate what he could, mostly for Lance’s sake, especially when Lance covered the cooking. Even so, he always came to the table last and disappeared before anyone else’s plate was half-clean.

He slept poorly at night, and in the morning, he’d wake up wondering at first about the dull ache in his chest, and then everything would rush back to him and the weight would pile on his heart until he could barely breathe.

When he didn’t sleep or eat, he tried to drown out reality in music, listening to every song he could think of and even churning out some notes of his own.

On the fourth day, Joey knew what he had to do. He didn’t see what good would come of it, but he couldn’t go on like this anymore. So, without bothering to tell the others where he was going (or that he was leaving to begin with), he snapped up his keys, boarded the elevator, hopped into his car and drove as quickly as he dared to Sheri’s block.

No one else hung about the area this time, but he knew her house when he saw it. Even after cutting the engine, he stayed put for another minute or so. He bowed his forehead against the steering wheel and whispered, “Lord, give me strength.”

He drew a slow breath and just as slowly let it out again. Then, before his courage could fail him, he opened the door, crossed the rock-tiled path leading to the house, mounted the front steps and rang the bell. He waited, hands behind his back, feet fidgeting, heart set to burst from his chest. When the door opened, Sheri’s mom greeted him.

She looked taken aback at first, then a bit reproachful, although her voice sounded composed when she said, “Hello, Joey.”

“Is Sheri available?” Joey asked meekly, keeping his hands at his back.

“For the moment, yes.”

“May I come in and talk to her? Please?”

Ann still eyed him cagily, but she stepped aside and held the door for him. He crossed the threshold before she could change her mind.

“Thank you,” he murmured.

“She’s in the living room. Just down the hall and to the right.”

“Again, thank you. I promise I won’t be long.” He felt slightly relieved when Ann never mentioned his rude departure the other day, though his face still flushed red-hot.

In the living room, he saw Sheri camped out on an old but comfy-looking brown couch, enfolded in the same plaid blanket. Even now, he couldn’t get over how small she was, how vulnerable…how pretty. He almost bolted, but he made himself walk forward and speak up.

“Sheri?”

Her gaze met his. “Joey?” Her voice was as soft as his, but genuinely stunned.

“Yeah, it’s me again.” He offered a cautious smile. “Three’s a charm, eh?”

Keeping the blanket snugly around her, she sat a little more upright and asked, “What do you want?” The question was natural enough, but Joey felt it as he would a hammer between the eyes. He dipped his head again and ran his right hand slowly along his left shoulder.

“I…uh…I just wanted to see you. To tell you that…I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He settled beside her on the thick cushions. “For my behavior the other day. After you told me you were—you were—”

“Dying?”

He recoiled, but never budged an inch. “How can you say that horrible word so casually, Sheri? How can you even stomach it?”

“Why keep it secret?” she countered. “Nothing changes the fact that it’s happening. Why fight it?”

With his forehead in his hands, Joey took several deep breaths and tried to pull himself together. When he faced the girl more properly, he whispered, “I’m sorry, Sheri. Really, I am. I-I don’t mean to—”

She replied mildly, “That’s all right. I can’t say I blame you one bit.”

“I shouldn’t have ditched you like that.”

“Your reaction was realistic enough.”

“I still feel like a jerk for doing it.”

Sheri’s thin lips curled in a wan smile. “Believe me, Joey, you acted so much better than I had before, and would have in a different situation. And you should have seen my sister’s reaction in the doctor’s office; I swear, I thought there was going to be blood on the floor.”

Joey couldn’t start to grasp how he would feel, what he would do, if he had received the death sentence. He kept seeing himself in Sheri’s place and that terrified him more than anything else. He had a chance for recovery, but it was still just that—a chance. Guilt also tangled with his fear, knowing that Sheri didn’t have a chance at all, not anymore.

It was as if someone had flipped a coin between the two of them and she was the loser.

Raising his head a little higher, he asked tentatively, “Do you forgive me?”

Sheri’s famous heart-melting smile now graced her whole face and lit her eyes like green gems. She never hesitated to take his hand as she told him, “Of course, I do. Even though there’s nothing to forgive you for.”

Joey sighed, feeling the load in his chest lighten somewhat. “Thank you, Sheri. You’re so much nicer to me than I deserve.”

“If anything,” she said, “I should apologize to you. I shouldn’t have dropped such a bombshell on you.”

He shook his head vigorously. “No, no. You were right. Like you said, no point in shutting up the facts or trying to add sugar to them.” He tightened his grip on her hand, again overwhelmed at her tininess and fragility. “I’m just sorry that this had to happen to you, of all people.”

The girl slid a bit closer, whispering, “I won’t lie; I’m sorry this is happening, too. I’d never expected to live long, though there was always that hope. I used to look at old people and think, ‘Anytime, now.’ Now I look at them and think, ‘I hope you understand just how lucky you truly are.’”

“Funny,” Joey said with a humorless chuckle, “I used to have the same attitude. If I live to be an old man myself, it’ll be a miracle.”

“But you still stand that chance of growing old.”

“Yeah…even so, it’s a pretty big maybe. My doctors tell me I’m doing great, but I don’t feel like I’ve made much progress, if any.” Before Joey could stop himself, he said, “And the guys haven’t made this any easier for me, either.”

Sheri regarded him with gentle sympathy. “Not so in sync right now, huh? If you’ll pardon me saying.”

“No, we’re not.” Joey hid his eyes in his free palm and gave a morose sigh. “I’ve known these guys and worked with them for ages…but these days, I just can’t figure them out.” Lowering his hand to his chin, he continued, “Lance is okay; at least he shows some understanding. Justin’s somewhere in the middle; he sticks to his own business and acknowledges me on occasion—special emphasis on ‘occasion.’”

“I see,” Sheri murmured.

“Chris and JC are easily the worst. They get so moody around me. Half the time, they don’t even say anything unless I say something first. They never stay in one place with me for too long. Chris rarely looks my way and he keeps his distance like he’s afraid to get too close to me. And JC’s become so much more snappish than I’ve ever seen him; just standing next to him is like standing in a closet full of dynamite with a lit match.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

Joey shook his head. He felt tempted to add how the guys viewed her, particularly JC, but then quashed it. “I don’t understand it, Sheri. Don’t these guys realize what I’m going through? Don’t they know how much I need their support, how much I need them? Either they don’t know or they don’t care.”

After a minute’s pause, Sheri said quietly, “Well, I can’t speak for the other guys, but I’m sure your cancer is just as hard on them as it is on you. Maybe even harder.”

“What makes you so sure?” Joey asked.

“Because this is almost exactly what I went through with my sister and friends. Especially at the very beginning.”

“You did?”

“Mm-hmm. The day before my first diagnosis, I had this huge fight with Tami—”

Joey couldn’t help interrupting. “Who’s Tami?”

“That’s my sister’s name. I’m the oldest of us by three years.”

“Oh.”

“As I was saying, we got into a terrible argument. I can’t remember the reason, but boy, were we both in for a guilt ride the next day when we learned I had cancer. For the longest time, I believed I was being punished for that fight. Tami blamed herself, too, and stayed as far away from me as she could manage. Sometimes I doubted I’d see her at all if Mom didn’t force her.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Even after we made amends, Tami still kept her distance. The same thing happened with my friends. Some of them stood by me when they heard the news, and some of them dropped me like a hot potato.”

“That was stupid of them,” muttered Joey. “The ones who dumped you, I mean.”

“Sure was. Their desertion got me down big-time. It didn’t help that my father was never around, either.”

“Forgive my prying,” Joey broke in again, “but why did he leave?”

Sheri sighed. “It’s a long story. Let’s just say he and Mom didn’t hit it off like they used to and he felt the need to find his own life. One day, he simply hit the road and I’ve never seen him since.”

“Didn’t he ever learn about your cancer?”

“If he ever did, I have no way of knowing.”

“That’s horrible,” said Joey, flooded past the brim with pity and shame. “Geez…your problems make mine sound like nothing.”

“Sorry,” said Sheri hastily, “I didn’t mean to get carried away about me.”

“And I didn’t mean to detract from your situation, either.”

“I was only trying to assure you that I can understand what you’re going through and empathize.”

“It’s funny,” Joey said again. “We’ve only known each other for a bit, and yet I feel I can relate to you better than all the guys.”

“I guess I should take that as a major compliment. But I’m also sorry it had to come to this in the first place.”

They sat quietly together for at least a minute more, watching the sun pouring through the window in front of them and listening to the ticking of the antique clock on the wall behind them.

Then Joey said, “Well, Sheri, besides apologizing, I also came here to promise you something.”

“What’s that?”

“That if there’s anything I can do for you, anything to help make your…the rest of your life a little more bearable, you make sure to tell me. If there’s someplace you’ve always wanted to go, something you’ve always wanted to do, I will do my best to make it happen.”

She gaped at him. “You’d do that for me?”

“Sure, I would,” he said and meant it from the bottom of his heart. “I’ll spare no expense, either.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You know you don’t have to.”

“I do. But I want to.” He smiled genuinely for the first time since their talk began. “I consider you my friend and I promise to be there for you in every way possible.”

Sheri smiled back, though that smile did nothing to prevent an outbreak of tears.

He opened his arms to her. “Come here.” 

She didn’t need telling twice. She all but flung herself against him; she would have knocked him flat had it not been for the couch.

She never spoke again, only cried and held him as she would a lifeline. 

He held her every bit as tightly, if not tighter, and silently joined her.