Joey kept his promise to Ann and took his leave shortly after that. This time, however, he made sure to give Sheri a more proper farewell, and he left her with his contact information and a sincere promise to visit her again when he could.

As he returned to his car, he brought along a small, somewhat dog-eared piece of paper that Sheri had given him. Before turning on the ignition, he sat there for a few minutes and studied the words on that paper, which, according to Sheri, had been penned about two years ago:

MY BUCKET LIST

1. Read the Bible from beginning to end

2. Feed a giraffe

3. Pet a tiger (fully grown)

4. Get my nails designed (even if they’re just painted different colors)

5. Get a decent seat at an Elton John concert

6. Sing in a public place

7. Reconnect with some of my old friends (if no more than two or three)

8. See the ocean (NOT on TV or in a picture!!!)

9. Watch a sunrise on the beach (again, a REAL sunrise)

10. Hang out with at least one member of *NSYNC (and, if that happens and he agrees, hear a song just for me)

“I don’t expect to do all these things,” Sheri had told him shyly when he first skimmed it. “Just completing half the list would be good enough for me. I’m already in the process of completing the Bible, and it would be wonderful if I could at least see the ocean and meet a giraffe. I’ve always wanted to see the big blue up close and get a giraffe to eat out of my hand.”

As Joey perused the girl’s wishes, he thought with a smile, I think we just might be able to pull these all off.

There was a zoo roughly eight miles from here, and the ocean was about fifteen miles farther. Plus, Joey remembered an article about Sir Elton John scheduled to do a one-off show at the edge of this town within the next month or so; if Joey acted promptly, he might yet secure good seats for the event, maybe even front-row.

Easy does it, man, he told himself as he turned the key and raised the volume on the radio. One pursuit at a time!

Despite what lay ahead, Joey couldn’t stop seeing the sheer glow in Sheri’s face when he’d vowed to stand by her to the end, and he couldn’t wait to get started on making her few dreams into realities.

I owe it to her.

Coincidentally enough, Elton John’s voice was the first to float from the radio. Joey found himself singing along as he drove home, and the lyrics seemed weirdly appropriate for his situation:

“And you can tell everybody

“Where have you been?” Chris asked when Joey sauntered into the living room.

“Out for a drive,” Joey answered, tossing his keys and catching them with the same hand.

Chris and Justin were watching a game show from opposite ends of the sofa, while JC sat cross-legged in his own chair with his nose in the newspaper.

Lance, who had just emerged from the kitchen with a hand towel, said, “Would you mind giving us a little more heads-up next time, please, Joe? We were beginning to worry about you.”

“Don’t sweat it, Lance. I was good and careful. I didn’t even go that far.”

With an unpleasant frown, JC lowered his paper and said, “Don’t tell me you went to see her again.”

Joey replied coldly, “What do you care if I did?”

JC’s ice-blue eyes turned icier. Now he folded his paper in half and threw it on the floor. “Oh, I care, all right, buddy. A great deal more than you’d be inclined to think.”

Realizing where this was going, Justin straightened his posture and Chris groped for the remote and clicked off the TV.

“It’s a free country, JC,” said Joey, taking a few steps closer but maintaining a respectable distance. “I can see whoever I want, whenever I want, as many times as I want. Besides, Sheri’s harmless enough.”

JC’s jaw tightened at that last part. “So you did see her again.”

“Yes, I did. And I plan to see her again, and again. Every day if possible.”

A frown creased Chris’s face as well. “Don’t you think you’re being a little nosy, Joey?” he asked, none too kindly.

“Nosy how? She was perfectly happy to see me. And I got her mother’s okay, too. It’s not like I use high-tech binoculars on her, or watch her from her bedroom window, or any of that stuff.”

“Are you sure you want to hang around this girl every day, Joey?” Lance asked skeptically.

“She doesn’t have that many days left, Lance. As long as she’s here, I’m going to spend as much time with her as I can and make the most of it, too.”

“We don’t want you getting all depressed,” said Justin, who had kept quiet until now.

“Hark who’s talking,” Joey couldn’t help sneering. “What do you guys know about being depressed, anyway? Try getting leukemia, losing every piece of hair you have, puking up your toenails every five minutes, taking on a zombielike form, spending weeks in the hospital, and meeting a terrific girl who’s knocking on death’s front door and then talk to me about ‘depression.’”

Justin, Lance and Chris all winced at the same time, as if Joey’s rant caused them literal pain.

JC also gave a noticeable start, but he was on his feet soon enough. “How do you know when this girl will even be home?” His tone held a challenging note that Joey didn’t like.

“I know she’ll be home. She plans to stay there until the day she officially kicks the bucket.”

Chris blanched. “Dying in her own house? For real?”

“That’s what she said.”

“But that sounds so—so—” Chris struggled for the appropriate word. “Bizarre,” he blurted at last.

“I thought so, too,” Joey admitted. “Then again, at the very least, she’ll be somewhere warm, safe and familiar, and in this way, I can see her without having to go to the hospital every time myself.”

“But she’s just a kid!”

Joey rolled his eyes. “Give me a break, Chris. The age difference between her and you isn’t that drastic. Besides, she’s quite mature for her age—so much more than you, I’d say, in a lot of ways.”

Chris narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips into a fine line. “What’s that supposed to imply?”

“Oh, never mind.”

That was when JC noticed the scrap of paper in Joey’s other hand. “What’s that you got there, Joey?”

“Sheri gave it to me. It’s her bucket list.”

“Bucket list?” said Lance, Chris and Justin in one voice.

“That’s right, and I’m personally going to help bring it to pass. I can do this much for her, if nothing else.”

“Give me that.” JC snatched the paper from Joey with just enough force to avoid tearing it in half. He took one minute to reel off the entire list aloud, and when he faced Joey the next minute, he said in the most incredulous tone, “You can’t be serious!”

Joey kept his head high, his gaze level and his tone brisk as he took back the paper, folded it and put it in the safety of his pocket. “As serious as I have ever been about anything.” 

“You’re honestly going to try to pull all that off in just a couple of months?” Chris asked, every bit as floored, if not more.

Justin added, “And you’re financing everything?”

“Why not? It’s nothing outrageous. Even if it was, I can still shell out the money. Sheri never brought it up, but I’ll bet you anything her medical bills have been rough on her family, and I could tell they’d never lived in the chips to start with.”

“What about your health?” asked Lance. “What about your tests and treatments and everything? You still have a long way to go with that chemo, you know.”

Joey didn’t want to think about it, but he knew Lance was right. “There will be time enough for that,” he said quietly. “I never said I was giving my own treatment the boot. Since our normal schedule’s become a lot more lax, I can divide myself between Sheri and the doctors without too much trouble.”

“And what would you do if something happened to you?” JC demanded, crossing his arms in front of his chest and staring Joey down. “In case it’s slipped your mind, mister, your body’s defenses aren’t exactly tiptop right now, even without that chemo crap.”

“You heard what Dr. Delaney said. Sure, I need to watch myself, but I don’t have to stay in a plastic bubble, either.”

From the look JC gave him, it was almost a miracle Joey didn’t bleed from every place. JC’s voice sounded bladelike as well when he said, “You know what I mean. What if you caught something or did something that put you in the ER in two seconds? What if you got sick and couldn’t take on those activities with Sheri after all? What then?”

Joey bit his lip. He knew such scenarios were plausible enough—even very likely—and he couldn’t think of a better answer than, “That’s just a risk I’ll have to take.”

JC made a growl like an incensed lion and threw both hands high above his head. “Seriously, Joey Fatone, what’s the matter with you?”

“What’s the matter with you?” Joey fired back. “What have you got against Sheri, JC? Why are you always so suspicious of her?”

“Why are you always so trusting of her?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What makes you think this girl’s really as sick as she claims to be? And if she really is, how would you know she’s not exploiting her illness?”

“What?”

“Let me see if I can simplify this for you. Consider the idea that maybe, just maybe, this girl’s playing on your sympathy to get what she wants. It’s an old trick—tell your sob story to the world, spare none of the juicy details, melt your listeners’ hearts into a puddle, and they feel so sorry for you that they’ll give you anything. Literally anything.”

Joey didn’t know whether to be more outraged or shell-shocked at this below-the-belt allusion. Whatever he felt the most, it was a long time before he found his voice, and even then he could barely sputter, “How dare you! How dare you even think that, JC Chasez! Sheri would never take advantage of me!”

“And how do you know that?” JC repeated relentlessly. “You don’t even know her.”

“He’s got a point, man,” said Justin.

“Yeah,” said Chris.

Now Joey turned on them. “Oh, so you two are taking his side in this?”

With a shrug of his shoulders, Chris said, “Face it, Joey. Before you went to the hospital, you never knew the girl existed in the first place. Had you passed her by, you would likely have never given her a second thought.”

Justin added, “And even after you met her, you’ve only seen her a handful of times since.”

Joey gritted his teeth, recognizing the truth in what they were telling him, yet not wanting to admit it.

“I may not know a lot of things,” JC pressed on, “but I do know there are some wolves in pretty convincing sheep costumes, and there are some people who will go to incredible lengths for a little attention, especially attention from a celebrity. And I’m not going to sit around and let some so-called fan with a charity case cash in on—”

Unable to tolerate one more dirty dig on Sheri, Joey all but yelled at the top of his voice, “Oh, shut up!”

A stunned silence fell.

Nobody moved.

All eyes stayed on Joey, the expressions ranging from livid to horrorstruck.

JC broke the silence first, his voice much softer but no less ominous. “What did you say?”

“You know what I said. Or maybe your ears don’t work so well.” Joey could hear his own heart racing and see red before his eyes. It took everything he possessed to not lunge at JC and murder him where he stood. “You can slam me all you like, Mr. Chasez, but I will not hear you tear Sheri Cooper down another minute. Do you hear me?”

JC’s handsome face was a fine blotch of purple; he looked quite ready to kill Joey himself. Had Joey not been his equal in fury, he would have been afraid of the man.

After another long, intense pause, Joey said a little more calmly, and not just to JC, “So I’ll come out and say it right now. Yes, I don’t know everything there is to know about Sheri. Yes, I’ve only met with her intimately a few times, which is more than can be said for you. But I do know this—she’s a sick, lonely girl in desperate need of a friend. In spite of what she’s going through, she listens to me and understands me, and I understand her. She’s my best friend.”

“Aren’t we your best friends?” asked Chris, equally wounded and indignant.

“She’s been more of a friend to me these days than the rest of you put together.”

“What are you talking about?” demanded JC.

“She talks to me like a perfectly normal person and doesn’t shun me like I’ve got the bubonic plague or anything. She knows how I truly feel and actually cares. She’s there for me. Unlike you.” Joey could tell from all four faces that his words had scored their target.

“That’s not fair, Joey,” Chris said in a very small voice.

“We’ve always been there for you,” said Justin, his voice even smaller.

Joey scoffed. “Oh, yeah? Maybe you were at first, for a while—but after they dropped that bomb about my cancer, everything changed.”

“That’s ridiculous!” JC exclaimed.

Joey folded his arms and arched his smooth brows. “Want to bet? How about all those times you avoided me in the hospital? Especially when I was being tested or treated?” To JC, Chris and Justin, he added acidly, “I don’t recall seeing hide or hair of you three during any of my chemo sessions. Most days, if not for Lance, I wouldn’t see anybody at all.”

Chris and Justin looked crushed.

Even JC faltered for five seconds before insisting, “We had a lot of other important business to take care of at those times.”

Joey rolled his eyes again, as far as they had the capacity to go. “Sure, you did. That’s the purest bull crap I ever heard in my life. Okay, then, guys, explain to me your reasons for giving me the cold shoulder when we were together. Like you, Chris. I couldn’t help but notice you were especially careful around me. You hardly came within three feet of me or looked at me dead-on or said something until I did. Whenever you went away from me, you seemed in a bigger hurry than usual. Am I truly that repulsive to you?”

“No! I—I-I—” Chris trailed off pathetically. His chin and hands trembled, as did the tears in his soft brown eyes.

Joey continued, “And what about you, Justin? You never had any real time for me, but when it came to other affairs, somehow you had all the time in the world. Tell me, how did you manage that feat?”

Justin said nothing, but his sky-blue eyes also glistened and he appeared to teeter on the edge of a breakdown, too.

“And don’t get me started on you, JC. I really don’t get why you have to be so angry and nasty all the time; it sure as heck doesn’t take much to blow you up. Not only where Sheri is concerned, either.”

“That’s—” JC began furiously, but Joey raised both hands to stop him.

“Look, man, just hear me out, okay? I’ve been meaning to tell you this for a long time, and I may as well finish what I started. Furthermore, we’ve known each other for a thousand years, so I feel I can be honest with you.”

With his solemn gaze on everyone else, Joey went on, “I’m sorry if I screwed everything up with getting sick and butt-ugly. I’m sorry if you don’t like Sheri, if her cancer and her missing leg turn you off. But she can’t help being the way she is, any more than I can help being the way I am. If you could see her the way I see her, if you could feel even a tenth of what I feel toward her, you’d understand why I’m so keen on her.

“She’s made me feel better about myself and made my cancer more bearable than anyone else has, including the doctors. I believe I can tell her anything without her criticizing me, hushing me up, or running away even if she had two legs. That’s why I’m doing this for her, not out of pity or civic duty; I want to help her as she helped me. If I can’t make her live longer, I can make her last days a bit brighter, and that’s what I aim to do.

“Remember what you said to me when I first checked into the hospital, about how I shouldn’t have to go through something like this by myself? Well, you were right about that much, and that’s what I say about Sheri, too. People stand by those they care about, and I care about Sheri even if the rest of you couldn’t care less. You do what you feel is right and let me do the same.”

The silence that followed this speech was almost deafening.

If anyone had anything to say now, their voices failed them.

Chris covered his face with one hand while Justin put his own head in both hands. Lance stood stock-still, the damp towel still wadded in his hands. JC’s face was no longer quite so purple, his stance no longer rock-rigid.

Joey felt a mingled sense of triumph, resentment, frustration, and deep, burning hurt. Even now, it amazed him to no small degree how he could be so close to these men and yet so far, how they could have gone so quickly from soul brothers to isolated strangers. 

They just didn’t understand each other anymore, and probably never would again.

With whatever dignity he had left, Joey turned his back and stalked off, making it to the bathroom just before he broke into pieces.