Chapter 1

Tired and dragging after another overfilled day and evening, he was ushered through the five-star hotel.  His watch read 1:45 a.m.  Thankfully, security had brought him in through a side entrance and the mob of fans in the lobby had no idea that he or his band mates were even in the building.  For once, he was grateful for that.

The small entourage stood waiting for the service elevator.  JC Chasez brought one hand to his face and rubbed his tired eyes.  Sleep was the only thing on his mind. 

That was until the soft lull of a piano grabbed his attention and made his ears perk up just to hear more.  The song was only vaguely familiar at first.  With a curious glimpse he looked over at Mike, one of the lead members of their security team.  “Where’s that coming from?” 

The large man was too tired to answer with words.  He pointed to the entrance of a bar across the hall and towards the left.   Briefly he closed his eyes and listened to the peaceful sound of Stevie Wonders’ “Ribbon In The Sky” being strummed out perfectly on the piano.  Not giving it a second thought, he wandered towards the source in such a daze that it didn’t even register when Mike discreetly called for him to come back.

It was his curiosity that had led him to the door of the dim, smoky bar.  It was nearly empty, with not more than a dozen people scattered at different tables.  Leaning one shoulder against the frame of the narrow entrance, he studied her playing with such emotion.  Just from the half a minute he had been watching he could see that she was completely lost in her own little world as she played.  There was no nervousness, no discomfort – just an aura of music surrounding her.  

“JC.”  Mike tapped the young pop stars’ shoulder.  “Come on, man.   I’m exhausted.”

JC heard the man and contemplated ignoring him; instead he tried shooing him away with a wave of his hand.

The song ended and light applause filled the small room, light compared to what he was used to anyway.  He joined in, clapping loudly. 

“JC, come on.”  Mike urged him again.

This time JC did ignore him.  He watched attentively as the young woman thanked her audience and reached in to a fish-bowl-looking glass jar and pulled out a folded piece of paper. 

“JC.  We have to go.”  Mike’s voice grew stern as his irritation seeped through and he laid a hand on JC’s shoulder.

“Fine.”  JC brushed the bigger man’s hand away and turned to leave, but gave one look back as she began to play her next song.  He was caught off guard when her stare met his own and for a split second he felt some weird kind of connection with the complete stranger.  She turned away quickly and he did the same, finally giving in to the pleas of his security guard.

“What was that all about?” Mike asked as they rode up to the twenty-seventh floor. 

“I’m tired.  Cut me a little slack.”  He huffed and stared up at the mirrored ceiling, the image of the girl at the piano running through his mind.  There was nothing special about her.  She wasn’t stunningly beautiful and considering his girlfriend of nearly three years was waiting for him in his hotel room, he shouldn’t have been giving her a second thought.   But for some reason, he was.

Maybe it was the simple fact that he was bored with his relationship with Jessie.  True, she had been there when he needed support and she had loved him when he needed to be loved.  But lately it seemed he stayed with her only to avoid being single and the chaos it would inevitably bring.  In his position, if he were openly available, women would be throwing themselves at him left and right.  They did that already, only now he had an excuse.  He had Jessie.

Stepping into his oversized suite he emptied his pockets and tossed the contents down on to an oblong table that was close to the door.  He entered the bedroom to find her sound asleep and completely sprawled out in the center of the bed.  With a groan he sat down on the edge and slipped off his expensive dress shoes.  He had hoped she would acknowledge his arrival and scoot over to her own side of the bed, but her sleep didn’t seem to be disturbed one bit.  “Must be nice.”  He grumbled softly to himself as he stood up to slip out of his clothing.  He nudged her shoulder.  The gesture far from tender or caring, it was more of an annoyance than anything.  He only wanted his sleep and right now she was in his way.  “Jessie, scoot over.”  He spoke with aggravation.

Finally she stirred.  “Oh, sorry.”  She groaned and rolled in the opposite direction making room for him to lie down.  He crawled under the covers, absent of emotion, the way it had been for quite some time.  It seemed their love had been replaced by convenience and he had been too busy to care.  Tonight was no exception.

Amanda Ballard had recognized her famous admirer the night before and it had given her a strange case of the creeps.  Not because he had been watching her, but because she had found herself enjoying the attention.

Amanda had been playing the piano since she was old enough to reach the keys, but it wasn’t her life.  It was just a hobby.  Her life was managing this hotel for her father who was too busy to stay in one place for more than a few days at a time.  The hotel she ran was one of many, but this one held a special place in her heart.  It was the one that was filled with memories of her mother and a place she had vowed never to leave.

Running such an upscale hotel had brought her close to many celebrities, but Amanda was never one to feel star struck.  Not that she was sure she had felt that the night before, but she had definitely felt something.  Movie stars, musicians, supermodels – she had been around them all and had always avoided getting too personal.  Amanda had a job to do and she did it very well.

So the next morning when she found her fingers stumbling across the keyboard and checking guest registers, it surprised her.  “Oh, this is ridiculous.”  She sighed inwardly and rose from her chair, straightening the navy blue suit dress that fell just above her knees. 

It was time for the morning rounds.  A routine that wasn’t necessary, but one she carried out every day anyway.  

She glanced at her reflection in the mirrored elevator as she traveled down from her third floor office.  Her naturally curly hair had been somewhat kind to her this morning and wasn’t a poof of frizz as it normally behaved.  She was thankful for that.  The high priced stylists that worked in the hotels’ salon had been begging her for ages to let them have their way with her auburn colored locks, Amanda had never given in.  That just wasn’t her.  She had never been one to stay on top of the trends.  Amanda was old fashioned and - as her mother had always told her – a bit of an “old soul.”

The memory of her mother brought an instant grin to her face.  Such fond memories she had of the woman who had filled her life with so much joy, but there was also a wealth of sadness that lurked in the background because she was no longer around.

Stepping towards one of the high priced retail stores on the first floor, Amanda looked down at her delicate gold watch to notice it was only a quarter till nine and although the shop didn’t open for another fifteen minutes, there were half a dozen or more people inside.

Checking the etched glass and brass handled doors, she found they were unlocked and recognized that the stores’ manager was in attendance as she made her way inside.   Only a few of the overhead lights were turned on, but if someone was trying to go unnoticed, they weren’t doing a very good job.   Four large football-player looking men overshadowed three other men and one woman.  Two of the young men were familiar, one being unmistakably the man who had gazed in on her late the night before.  He hadn’t noticed her yet and if he did it would be doubtful that he would recognize her as the same woman who played the piano in the quaint, smoky bar the night before.

Amanda walked straight towards Marcy Walker and greeted her with a cheerful good morning.

“Hello Amanda.”  Marcy was a middle-aged woman who looked nearly ten years younger than she actually was.  She was the exact opposite of Amanda.  She did stay on top of the latest trends and fashions, but being the manager of an upscale clothing store, Amanda noted that trends were an essential part of Marcy’s job.

“Early morning shoppers?”  Amanda asked quietly, glancing sideways across the store.

“Early morning shoppers who have already marked up a $500 tab.”   Marcy answered just as quietly, only through a gritty smile.

One of the oversized security men walked towards the two women with a look of discomfort in his eyes and one expensive little black dress outstretched in his manly-sized arms.  “Miss?”   He called to Marcy.  “Do you have this in a size three?” 

“Let me check.”  Marcy answered promptly.  Amanda grinned at the man and leaned her rear against the counter top, folding her arms over her chest and gazing down past the expensive garments, realizing that the young man she had seen the night before was quietly arguing with the young blond who accompanied him and the other two gentlemen.

She tried not to eavesdrop, but it was nearly impossible.

“Just get it.”  His tone was filled with frustration.  Amanda could sense that a mile away. 

“Are you sure?”  The petite young woman sounded more insecure than anything. 

“Yes, I’m sure.”  Amanda watched as he handled the bill of his dark blue hat, pulling it even farther down on to his head, shadowing his eyes.  Stray hairs sprouted out from underneath the baseball cap with an unruliness that gave Amanda the impression not much had been done with them before that hat had been put on.   “You know I don’t care about the price.”  He continued.

Turning his attention away from the young woman, he looked up just in time to catch Amanda’s stare and for a brief second, his gaze stole the breath right out of her.  She could feel a warmth easing to her cheeks and turned her attention away quickly, thankful that Marcy had returned with that size three dress.

Why?  She couldn’t figure out why this stranger was affecting her in such an unusual way.  And not just any stranger, a highly publicized one.  Amanda had never been one to drool over the rich and famous – not that she had been drooling now, but even so, her curiosity was scaring her.

After a short farewell to Marcy, Amanda headed for the door in a hurry.   The space in the normally airy store seemed to be shrinking by the minute and she suddenly felt very desperate to get out of there.   But as she reached for the handle, a hand sprung out of nowhere and grabbed it before she had the chance.

“You’re the woman from the bar last night.”  That voice did more to her than his piercing eyes did.  It shot a shiver straight down her spine and right back up it again until all the fine hairs on her neck seemed to be standing on edge.

Slowly she turned around, “Excuse me?”  She asked politely, her heart nearly beating in her throat.

He gazed at her inquiringly, his head tilted just barely to one side.   His chin lifted slightly as he studied her face while staring down the bridge of his nose.  “You play beautifully.” 

“Thank you.”

“Will you be playing again tonight?” 

His chiseled jaw line was darkened with stubble and his eyes, although hidden by the shade of his hat, were hollowed and dark.  She wondered if the man in front of her had managed any sleep the night before, he certainly didn’t look like it.  In fact, he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days.

“Well?”  Amanda realized she had been blatantly staring without giving him an answer, but frankly, she was a little surprised by his inquisition.

“No, I don’t play there regularly.”  She finally responded.

“That’s too bad.”  He fidgeted with his hat again and for a split second she caught a dazzling glint of blue hiding under his heavy eye lids.

“Yes…well…um, if you’ll excuse me now.”  Realizing she was sounding like a baffling idiot, she stood up straight to gain her composure and reached behind her for the door handle, but when she didn’t find it she nearly lost her footing and stumbled right into something hard and overbearing – her father.

“Amanda.”  His voice played like a drum to her ears as the stern man caught her fall.

“Father.”  She grinned up at him sheepishly as he let her loose and once again Amanda tried to pull herself together.

“Doing business as usual, I see?”  Mr. Ballard remarked to his daughter.

“Yes, of course.”

Her attention was taken away from the surprise of her father’s arrival when the man that made her feel completely goofy and awkward, interrupted with confidence.   “It was nice meeting you, Amanda.”   He nodded his head in her father’s direction.  “Sir.”   He called him and looked back at Amanda.   “If you’ll excuse me now.  I’m holding up the rest of my group.”

Amanda stood quiet as he turned and walked away, completely indebted to him for not mentioning her piano playing the night before in her father’s presence.   It was a secret she kept from him and he would have been more than furious if he had found out.  In his eyes it was inappropriate for the Vice President of his prestigious hotel to be acting so frivolously in front of guests, but she disobeyed none the less because it was the one thing that made her feel completely alive and free. 

JC wandered back towards his friends and security, noticing the look of confusion stamped across Mike’s face.  He could hear everyone’s words before they were even spoken.  Yes, he had been acting a little strange over the past few days, but he had no justification for his actions – maybe he just felt strange.

Jessie stepped out of the dressing room wearing the skimpy silk dress Mike had fetched for her and, as usual, it fit her perfectly.  “Very nice.”  JC told her with a near smile.  “You ready?”

“Um, okay.”  She turned quickly on her bare feet and disappeared into the dressing room once more.  Casually JC glanced back at Amanda and her father while heading towards the front of the store to pay for the items he was purchasing.  She had seemed frigid and shy today.  Not at all what he would have expected after seeing her play so gracefully the night before.  In fact, he wouldn’t have even recognized it was her if it weren’t for that captivating stare.

“That’s Amanda Ballard and her father Jonathon Ballard.”   The blond woman behind the counter announced.

“Huh?”  JC asked, not realizing he had been so blatantly staring.

“Mr. Ballard owns this hotel and his daughter runs it while he is gone, which is ninety-nine percent of the time.”  Marcy continued.

“Oh.”

“I take it we’re purchasing the dress as well?”  Marcy asked with enthusiasm.

“Yes.”

She gave him his total and he involuntarily pulled out his wallet and handed her his credit card.

The sales manager took it with a smile, not hesitating to run it through the machine.  JC realized he was about as far away as the planet Venus at the moment and the woman could have double or even triple charged him and he would have never even noticed. 

Later that afternoon, Amanda stewed over her strange encounter with, with – oh, whatever his name was.  She didn’t even know.  He knew her name and she definitely recognized his face.  She knew his pop status.  He was one of those *NSYNC guys, but not the most popular one, not the one who dated Britney Spears.  Anyone who knew anything knew about that.

Those two had stayed in her hotel once before.  They had created a madhouse that weekend.  There were teenage girls everywhere and even some that weren’t so much in there teens.  Many of them were hysterical and out-of-control.  Amanda didn’t envy that sort of lifestyle one bit.  She wondered if the other one – the one who didn’t seem to get any sleep – had those problems, too.  She figured he probably did.

At least his girlfriend wasn’t another pop icon like he was.   She was a very attractive girl though.   Amanda assumed that the pretty blond had been his girlfriend, anyway.  He had been buying her a very expensive dress.  But whoever she was, he didn’t appear to be very pleased with her while they were shopping.  For some strange reason, he seemed to be more interested in Amanda.  Plain, conservative and not-so-appealing, Amanda.  She had no clue as to why.

“Kevin!”  She announced loudly to herself and then slumped back into her chair with discouragement.  “No, he’s with that other group, I think.”  She mumbled.  The fact that she didn’t know his name was driving her nuts.  “If only I had younger sisters…”

And then she remembered that she had the whole world right at her fingertips – the Internet.  It only took a second for her to open up her home page, which happened to be a search engine, and type in *NSYNC.  She had never imagined it would come up with over a thousand different sites.  Not being picky, she clicked on the first link and waited.

“That’s him.”  She commented softly to herself as she clicked on his picture.  “He looks a lot better there than he did this morning.”

She took in a deep sigh as she read his full name and bio.  “JC.  That’s it.   Okay, I feel much better now.”

“Amanda?  Who are you talking to?” 

Trying to hide her own surprise and barely not choking on her own breath, she gazed up at her father with wide eyes as she discreetly moved her mouse to click the tiny “x” on the top of her screen and close the window.  “Huh?” 

“I heard you mumbling.  Are you talking to yourself?”  He asked, pushing the door open completely and letting himself inside.

“I must have been, sorry.”  She smirked and then made a mental note to be sure the door was shut all the way from now on.

“Anyway, I’m going out for a bit but I’ll be back to catch up with you at dinner.  Seven o’clock?”

“Sounds good.”  She grinned, nervously tapping her long fingernails against her oak desk. 

“I’ll see you then.”  He turned swiftly and left.  Amanda breathed a deep sigh of relief. 

“Why do you let him treat you that way?”  Another surprise visitor, she glanced up at the door to find the head of security, Ronald Johnson.

“Ron, you scared me.”  She told him with an exasperated sigh.

“And you didn’t answer my question.”  He shot back.

“That’s silly.  Treat me what way?  He’s my boss.”

“He’s your father.”  Ron reminded.  As true as it was, Amanda and her father were far from close.  They had never been close, but when her mother had passed away two years before, they grew even more distant than before.

“Yes, but here we have a business relationship.”

Ron stepped forward and shut the door softly behind him.  He had been at the hotel for over ten years and sometimes Amanda felt as if he was more a family member than a person on the staff.  “That’s bull and you know it.”  The older man spoke quietly as he sat down in one of the tan chairs across from her desk.  “You don’t ever leave.  How could you have any other kind of relationship than the one you do here?”

Amanda sighed deeply.  He was right and she knew it, but that was just the way her life had turned out and it was nothing to be sorry about.  “Shouldn’t you be guarding someone?  Like our VIP guests or something?”  She asked.

“There gone until this afternoon.”  Ron informed nonchalantly.  “Marcy told me about your run-in with Mr. Chasez.”

“It was no big deal.”  Marcy remarked.  “He caught me playing the piano last night in the bar.”

“Playing the piano again?  You’re lucky your father didn’t drop in last night instead of this morning.” 

“Don’t remind me.”  She sighed, looking past his dark head and glancing at the picture of her and her mother on the wall.  It seemed so long ago. 

Taking in a deep sigh, JC glared at himself in the mirror.  He looked like crap.  It was a good thing this was only a magazine interview and not a photo shoot.   After all the times he got on his band mates for not getting enough sleep and here he was looking like a creature from Night of the Living Dead.

He braced himself, noticing Chris charging him from behind in the mirror.   His playful friend rammed into his back full-throttle, as if he were tackling for a pro football team.  “Uh.”  The air from his lungs escaped him as he was pushed to the floor.  “Chris.  Let.  Go.”  He spoke much more calmly than he had expected as the older man kept him locked in some strange wrestling hold.

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”  Chris insisted.

“Nothing’s wrong and if something was do you think this is the way to get me to talk?”  JC looked past Chris to see Joey and Justin now hovering above him. 

Justin bounced up and down, filled with way too much energy and chanting.   “Get ‘em C!  Get ‘em  C!”

“I’ll put five bucks on Chris.”  Joey wagered.

“I’ll take that bet.”  Justin nodded and glanced at the buoyant Italian beside him before shaking his hand to make it official.

“Alright.  Enough already.”  Digging down deep, using all of his inner strength, JC hoisted Chris off of him and pushed himself from the floor.

“Uh huh, my boy never lets me down.  I’ll take my five bucks now.” Justin held out his hand with a smirk waiting for Joey to pay up.

Joey gave Chris a disgruntled sigh while digging in his wallet.  “You’ll have to add it to my tab.  I don’t have anything smaller than a twenty.”

“So what else is new.”  Justin scoffed.

JC looked over at Chris with a bit of irritation, but the negative thoughts faded quickly as he realized Chris had moved his attention on to Lance, who was chatting – or flirting – with a cute blond intern across the room.  JC scratched the back of his head, waiting for Chris’ next attack. 

It was only a second or two later that the funny man began bouncing in Lance’s direction, calling his name out playfully.

“Hey man, what’s up with you lately?”  Justin asked with seriousness as he brushed a hand against JC’s shoulder.

“Nothing.  Just lack of sleep.”  JC glanced down at his own two feet, avoiding Justin’s inquiring stare.  In all truth, he wasn’t sure what was wrong, so how could possibly explain?

“Yeah, lack of sleep does make you grumpy.”  Justin sighed, glancing around the room before bringing his eyes back to JC.  “But I think there’s something else wrong.  You know where I am if you decide you want to talk.”

His younger friend didn’t linger long enough to wait for a response.   Instead he hopped over to Chris, Joey, Lance and the intern with enthusiasm. 

Justin had grown up a lot over the last year.  More than just grown up, he had settled down quite a bit.  And the musical talent that had blossomed out of him on their last album, well, it made JC incredibly proud, to say the least.  He wasn’t just the young, attractive heartthrob with a good voice anymore, he was a musician.  Not that he hadn’t been that all along, but now he was perceived that way.  The way he should be.  They way they all should be.

The feeling of accomplishment the group underwent from writing and producing more than two-thirds of their third album – fourth if you counted the Christmas LP – was overwhelming.  Finally they had reached beyond the stereotypes and had formed their own identity.

But the process had been exhausting and JC was about at wits end.  He realized that now.  He hadn’t realized it even a few days before, but now, standing in this boring room with a dozen different unfamiliar faces whizzing by him every other second and him fighting off this uncontrollable urge to just collapse onto the floor – well, that had made him realize.  Yes, it was definitely time for a break.

The tour was over.  Now it was just finishing up the video for their second single, along with promoting it – the part he hated.  The part they were working on at that very moment.  Well, as soon as the interview got under way, that is.

©2001 BrandyRae