Chapter 15
The candles had all been put out and the room was dark. Beside him Amanda slept peacefully, her bare back only a touch away. Outside the storm had finally hit and tiny pellets of rain beat against the balcony patio. Every so often a gust of wind would blow splatters into the glass door leaving spots of water reflecting off the moonlight.

JC stared blankly. His mind turned on high, sleep seemed to be the farthest thing away.

He didn't understand why he felt so strange. He had wanted her so badly. He still did. Every time his eyesight drifted across her bare shoulders he contemplated waking her. But he didn't.

He had never expected to feel so strongly so soon. The fact that he had to bite his tongue to not tell her he loved her during their lovemaking, well - it scared him. He must have been imagining things. How could he love someone so fast?

But Amanda was incredible. Every second more he spent with her he realized it. He felt different with her. He felt like himself and he felt happy, completely and utterly happy.

And now she had given him the most sacred thing in the world, herself.
Tomorrow morning he'd have a lot of things to figure out, but tonight he was going to keep pretending that nothing in the world mattered except for her.

He glanced at her again and took in a deep breath. Unable to resist, he wrapped an arm over her side and cuddled up against her, nuzzling his face into the back of her neck. She moaned softly and pushed her back against him. He wasn't sure if she was awake or not, but either way, she fit perfectly against his body.

Brushing her hair away, he placed his lips softly against her neck. "You awake, sweetheart?" he asked quietly.

She only let out a soft hum in response.

Tenderly, he kissed her once more. "I don't want morning to come," he voiced his thoughts softly.

"Me either," she agreed, but he hadn't been expecting a response.

"So you are awake?"

"Mmmm, just barely. Is it raining outside?"

"Yep. Pretty hard, too." He told her, squeezing her even tighter.

"At least I have you here to keep me warm," she sighed.

Her words made his heart ache and he wasn't sure why. Maybe because she felt so good in his arms that he hated to think of the time when she wouldn't be there. A time which was approaching very soon.

"Yes, you do," he agreed.

With ease she rolled in his embrace, turning his direction and resting her face comfortably against his chest. One arm slid around his body with grace as she pressed her lips to his warm skin. "When can we do this again?" she asked.

He chuckled quietly at her question. "That depends on exactly what you mean by this."

Her lips touched to his skin for a second time, a scorching fire igniting in his body as her hand slid to the small of his back, resting just above the waistband of his boxer briefs. "You know--this." Her answer came through in a mumble as she pressed her mouth to his flesh once again, this time circling the tip of her tongue around his nipple. Immediately it hardened--he hardened.

"Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?" he asked as her mouth continued to dance across his chest, slowly inching its way downward.

But she didn't seem to be paying much attention to his words as she lightly ran her fingers over his abdomen. "You have the nicest stomach," she sighed.

"I'm glad you like it," he remarked, flopping on to his back and taking her with him.

Amanda let out a high-pitched "ooh" as she was hurdled onto his lap in an instant. "I guess you do like me," she remarked with wide eyes, staring at him in the darkness.

"You just figuring that out?" he asked her, his tone filled with playful sarcasm.

"I guess not," she answered, carefully easing herself against him.

"It won't break," JC assured her, noticing she was acting as if she was walking on eggshells. "I won't break, I promise."

Amanda grinned and, from what he could tell in the darkness, blushed. He grabbed her wrists and gently guided her to lay her chest against him.

"I know I'm not the biggest guy in the world, but I'm pretty strong, really," he told her as she rested against him, her breasts pressing into his chest and seeming to be one of the best feelings in the whole entire world.

"I didn't think that you weren't," she defended, her body rising and falling just a smidgen as she inhaled a deep breath.

JC rested his hands against her back, noting how much tinier she was than him. But still, she seemed to fit so perfectly against him. And for some odd reason, that weird sensation to tell her he loved her came sneaking up again as she laid there so contently on top of him.

Of course, his mind track took a quick turn as she gently grinded against him. Desire shot through him in record speed and if nothing else, he ached from head to toe just to feel her one more time.

He didn't even realize the sound that had escaped his voice thanks to her movement until she let out a tiny giggle. "Oh really?" she asked playfully.

JC groaned in response, his hands eagerly sweeping down beneath the sheets to grasp on to her firm behind.

She chuckled, each movement shooting fire through his veins. "What do you want?" she asked teasingly, her lips touching down to his shoulder.

"No sweetheart," he corrected her, "what do you want?"

The moisture of her lips touched just below his ear and another quiet moan slipped from his voice. "You," she finally whispered against his skin, her breath tickling every nerve ending it touched.

With that, he hugged his arms around her even tighter. Because if there was one thing he wanted to give her, it was definitely himself.

AMANDA'S EYES OPENED to a startling new reality the following morning, and it wasn't the fact that she was virtually nude, or that JC's nearly naked body was practically glued beside her. It had more to do with how comfortable she felt with it all.

Two weeks ago she couldn't have imagined herself in such a position, but now it seemed to make so much sense.

Her eyes focusing in on the sliding glass door that led off to the balcony, she realized that the sky was dark and the rain was probably apt to continue even though it had subsided for the moment. The stormy weather didn't bother Amanda too much. In fact, now it would probably forever remind her of JC and their wonderful night together. She only hoped there were more nights like the one before in their future.

Huh, she just hoped they had a future period. The thought of them not really sickened her.

Stretching, she took in a deep breath and contemplated getting up to use the restroom. Just as she moved to crawl out from under the blankets, his phone chirped from the nightstand and JC sat up in a hurry. Amanda laid there motionless as if she were still asleep, listening as he answered with a groggy "hello."

Immediately she sensed his uneasiness. Immediately she knew who it was just by the tone of his voice and the way he slumped out of the covers. She listened carefully, her heart breaking by the second. "Didn't I tell you yesterday not to call so early?" he said as he stepped out of bed.

Her heart sank deeper and deeper as she listened to his voice grow distant and then finally as the bathroom door shut and he disappeared. Now was her chance. She hopped out of bed and ran to her bedroom, shutting the door behind her.

How could things have gone from wonderful to horrible in just a matter of seconds? This was a terrible reality to wake up to. Her head spinning, she went straight to the bathroom and headed for the shower. Maybe the water would wash all of her uneasiness away.

JC TRIED TO WIPE away the foul mood he was suddenly in as he stepped out of the bathroom. Really all he wanted to do was crawl back in bed and cuddle up next to Amanda. Of course, when he realized she wasn't there anymore, that idea wash shot all to hell. Plus he had a good feeling that his morning would probably be taking another step downward before it got any better.

Amanda was upset. He knew this without even seeing her. She had fled to her bedroom and honestly he didn't blame her one bit. Damn Jessie for calling. He had told her he'd call her on his way home.

But even worse, damn himself for putting Amanda in such an awful position.
Taking in a deep sigh and realizing that the room was a little chilly, he stepped into a pair of pajama bottoms and headed out to the living room, hoping that maybe she'd be out there on the couch or that if she was in her room, the door would be open.

No such luck. As he figured, it was closed.

Softly he knocked on her door, "Amanda?" he called through the wooden entry.

No answer.

He knocked again, this time a little louder. When she failed to answer for a second time, he decided to try the handle. Surprisingly, it was unlocked. Slowly he pushed the door open. "Amanda?" he called to her again. As he cautiously made his way inside, he realized that she was in the shower. But even better, he realized that the bathroom door was open. Suddenly he had a gleam of hope. Maybe she wasn't upset after all.

"You in here, sweetheart?" he called to her, slowly venturing towards the steamy bathroom. Carefully he peeked inside to find her shadowy image through the glass shower doors. Arousal hit him like a ton of bricks as he eyed her wet, naked body only a few feet away. Staring openly, he wanted nothing more than to hop in and join her.

Until she turned around to notice him. "JC!" she yelled at the top of her lungs, "what are you doing in here! Get out!"

"Sorry. The door was open," he tried justifying his peeping.

Amanda turned off the water and grabbed her towel, wrapping it around her body in a hurry. He didn't quite understand why she felt so rushed to cover herself since he'd already seen everything there was to see. Obviously, she was a little upset about his wake up call.

"The door was not open," she countered, "I locked it."

"You're right, I just magically appeared in your bedroom." He realized after his sarcastic remark that his words probably weren't the best choice at the moment, considering she was already mad at him.

"I'm not kidding," she said, opening the shower door, dripping wet and stepping out onto the tiled floor. "Please, just let me get dressed."

"Amanda, I know you're upset and I'm sorry." 

HE WAS RIGHT, she was upset. But she was more upset at herself than anything. She had let herself get into this position. She had let herself become the other woman. That was the last thing she wanted to be. How could a night so romantically special feel so dirty the next morning?

Although, when he stared at her with those gorgeous blue eyes it was easy to remember just how wonderful their night had been. But now their weekend was over and maybe that wasn't the only thing that needed to be over. Maybe, Amanda couldn't help but think, it would be better if they ended it now rather than later.

"JC, I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at myself. I should have never let myself get into this position. You have a girlfriend and obviously things just aren't going to work out between us. I mean, it's been a great weekend, but that's it. You have your life to go back to now and I have mine."

She spotted the confusion in his eyes, but didn't take it to heart. She was sticking to her guns, this was the right decision. Finally she was thinking straight again.

"But what about last night? I mean, didn't you--"

"Didn't I what?" she asked after he cut himself short.

He dropped his gaze to the floor, notably taking in a deep breath. "I'll let you get dressed," he finally said and left the room.

Amanda just stood there, staring at the door he had just exited through. Suddenly she wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the bed and cry. Her heart ached so badly that she barely had enough motivation to move, but finally she did. She fought back the tears and put on her clothes, counting the seconds until she'd be home and able to let out all of the sorrow that had welled up inside. This was not how she'd wanted their weekend to end. Not at all.

JC SLOWLY RETURNED his belongings to his suitcase after his shower. He had left his door open, hoping Amanda would decide to come and talk to him, but since he had left her bedroom he hadn't heard one word from her. It had been almost an hour and he knew she'd be leaving for the airport soon. It was killing him inside that she was pushing him away, but he didn't blame her. He didn't blame her one bit.

He had never expected to fall for her so hard. He'd never expected to care so deeply about a women he had barely met. He'd never meant to hurt her, even though deep down he knew he would. He knew that somehow it would come to this. He'd only hoped it wouldn't come so soon.

A spark of hope shot through him as he heard the creak of her bedroom door. He continued packing, hoping that she'd appear in his doorway, but when he heard her shuffling around in the living room he realized she was only gathering up her belongings, the same as he.

Unable to keep himself away, he walked to the doorway and leaned against the frame, watching her quietly. She was obviously upset. Her mannerisms were edgy and her body was tense. She picked up her scandals that had been sitting beside the couch, catching his stare as she stood up straight, her shoes dangling in her hand.

"So this is it?" JC asked her, his hands resting in his jean pockets.

"I guess so," she answered, unable to look him in the eye.

"I care about you, Amanda. I never meant to hurt you."

"I care about you, too, JC. But obviously things just aren't going to work out. It's better that we just end it now and avoid- " Amanda stopped her words and slowly let her gaze meet his. He watched as she took in a deep breath and then looked away. She was having a hard time keeping it together and he hated to see her that way, but she had put up a wall between them and he wasn't quite sure how to break through.

"Avoid what?" he asked softly.

She looked at him again briefly. "-any more hurt," she finally finished, her voice cracking, as she turned and fled back to her bedroom, shutting the door swiftly behind her.

JC sighed and shook his head. This was not the goodbye he'd imagined.

TWO HOURS LATER Amanda was on her flight home. It had been a very painful goodbye, but she was thankful she had managed to say goodbye period. It would have been a lot easier to just storm out of the hotel at eight o'clock in the morning when his significant other had called in the first place, but she hung in there and left with a little dignity, she hoped.

She just didn't understand why if he cared about her so much then why didn't he put up a fight? He didn't even try to make things right. He didn't even try to leave on good terms.

Not that she was making much of an effort, but she wasn't the one cheating on her girlfriend! Or boyfriend, whatever. The point was, he was in the wrong, not her. Granted, she knew about that the entire time, but still, he made it seem like he really cared about her the whole weekend. How could he just let it all go if he cared so much?

Obviously he didn't. He just put on a really good show. God, how did she let herself fall for his good looks and charm?

Because there was more to it and whether he wanted to admit it or not, he did care. She could feel it all the way to the depths of her soul just how much he cared. She just didn't understand why he was afraid to let her see it. Why didn't he put up a fight? Already she hated the male species. This was her first experience and already she just knew that they were all awful!

Oh well, at least she wasn't a virgin anymore!

AMANDA SENSED RIGHT away when she got back to her hotel that something was going on. As soon as she pulled into the parking garage she could feel that something just wasn't right. Her hunch was confirmed as she walked into her office to find her father sitting at her desk with the phone up to his ear. An immediate look of shock slapped itself across her face.

He ended his call quickly once he noticed her walk through the door.

"Dad? What are you doing here?" she asked with surprise.

"Amanda, sit down," he told her sternly, but the tone in his voice was different. For once in his life it seemed less confident than usual.

"What's going on?" she asked curiously as she plopped into the leather chair across from her desk.

"I need you to go to New York and I don't want you to ask any questions. Just go," he told her.

What was he talking about New York? This was not what she wanted. She wanted to come home and drown in her sorrows. Now on top of all her other problems, she had to go to New York? And he wasn't even going to tell her why? This was ridiculous.

"For how long?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. There's some things going on in the business and until it all settles down I want you to go to New York. You can stay at the apartment there."

"You don't want me to work?"

"No, I want you to take a vacation."

"You're serious?"

"Amanda, this is very serious. I wouldn't ask otherwise. Trust me, this is for your own good. Please, just do as I ask. Pack up your things, you're leaving tonight."

"Tonight?" she asked with panic.

"Yes, tonight. Now go on, I've got more calls to make."

Amanda stomped out of her office and headed down towards the elevator that would take her to her apartment. Her head was twirling with confusion. In a matter of just a few hours her whole entire world had crumbled. Why did he need for her to go to New York? This was just plain crazy. She'd never heard of such a thing.

"Amanda!" she heard her name being called and new instantly who it was.

She turned around, but Marcy didn't even give her a chance to speak. "What's going on? Why is your father here? Rumors are flying all over the place."

For a split second Amanda let down her guard and gave her shoulders a shrug, letting all the emotional exhaustion seep to her face, but then she quickly shoved it away, hoping to God that Marcy hadn't noticed. "I don't know. All I know is that I have to go to New York and I don't know why or for how long."

"New York?" Marcy asked with surprise. "When?"

"Tonight."

(c) 2001 BrandyRae