I frown, realizing I’m getting up at 3:45 in the morning and I manage to get ready to go to my house without waking Josh. I bend over him on the bed and gently smile, calling his name softly as I rouse him from sleep by shaking him. He looks at me, waiting for his eyes to focus and steals a quick lip lock from me. "When do we have to be to your house for?" he asks, swinging his feet over the edge of the bed. The blankets are tangled around his waist, rubbing his face with his hands and groans. "I haven't been up this early in years, Mikkaila."

"I'm sorry for it being so early," I reply, his arms winding around my midsection and rests his head on my abdomen, making it possible for me to feel him smile against me in the darkness. "We need to be at my place in about half."

I cradle his head to my stomach, savoring the time with him alone. "It's nearly four, isn't it?"

"Yes. Kenny and his group will be at my house in 45 minutes."

"Mmm," he hums, kissing my belly.

I look down at him. "What's that for?"

"Hmm?"

"You kissed my stomach."

"Can't kiss you?"

"Thought it meant something other than that and you love me."

"Not yet, maybe someday." I glare at the top of his head and he tilts his back, our eyes locking. "Not any time soon, but maybe a few years from now."

"Josh, it's too soon to even entertain the idea."

"I know, but I'm trying to say that I've only felt like this about you and I know I can trust you with this responsibility."

"Maybe I don't want to be pregnant again," I argue, becoming upset over the matter.

"It's up to you when you're ready whether you want to adopt or have a child," he calmly informs me.

"Why me?"

"I know I could trust you, regardless of what happens to me."

"With the child?"

"With any child we have together, adopted or by birth," he confirms for me.

I softly push his arms away, texting my two closest guy friends and feel like I'm slowly losing my mind as he prepares to leave. 'What went wrong now?' I get from Kenny.

'He better not have left you an emotional mess.' Thanks, Doog.

'He's talking about having children with me bc he trusts me.' They both get the same text.

I get the same response from them both at the exact same moment. 'What? Has he lost his mind? Are you two even serious yet?'

'We just started being serious last night, but I believe it's too soon to even entertain the idea of having children together adopted or naturally.'

'You're damn straight it is! He needs to chill with that static!' Doog agrees with me.

'It is too soon, but think about it from his POV. He's in his 40s and you're in your 30s, almost to the danger zone if you try to have one naturally or via IVF and he has NO kids yet (but has always wanted some).' Thanks, Kenny, like I needed to be reminded of all that shit and then comes a second message. 'You trust him and like him? He does when it comes to you.'

I groan, proving Kenny right without him here and he knows it. 'I know, but KIM what I got told by the doc after Grahm and that's what I'm afraid of.'

'Kaila, you know he's known ya since you dated doofus major.'

'We pieced that together last night after he showed me a pic I hadn't seen in a decade or two.'

'He has loved you since then, still does and he respects you more than any other man you've been with has. He's proving it by telling you how much he trusts you with ANY child he may have, period.'

'What should I tell him?'

I bite my thumbnail, worry etched into my facial features and staring at my cell phone screen as I impatiently await his response since Doog stopped replying. 'Be honest, tell him what you were told... Just wait till after you're healed from the operation.'

I'm going to take his advice about this, but if it makes Josh run like a scared animal with his tail between his legs... Let's just say Framing Hanley will be a man down. I sigh, worried about not only my surgery and it just adds to the stress that I shouldn't have right now. Now I have to explain why having another child scares the shit out of me, especially if I have it naturally. I just don't want to chance either life if I carry his child, that's what scares me.

'Are you sure he doesn't have a child?'

'Are far as I know, he doesn't have any children.' I take a deep breath after Kenny sent that to me.

'To his knowledge, he has none...'

And Doog just scared the hell outta me, thanks dickface fucktard. Did I ever mention how much I loathe Doog sometimes? This is one of many.

I slowly wake up to Josh holding my hand, his smile greeting me warmly and he places a soft kiss to my forehead. "Hey, you're awake, sleepy head," he jokes.

"Yeah," I groggily reply, smiling.

"You're still drugged up on morphine and anesthesia."

His chuckle makes me giddy, like I wanna laugh. "You say so?"

A nurse comes into the room and smirks at us. "He doesn't, but I do," he interjects.

"Yay! A gay male nurse!" I blurt out, chortling after and I snort.

I'm too drugged to be embarrassed, making Josh laugh and the nurse even joined in on our chuckle fest. "Yes, I am very much gay, in both definitions of the word."

"One of our best friends is also gay and some of the best people to be around are, too."

"I actually have to agree. Are you gay, sir?" he asks Josh, my boyfriend's face flushing as he looks at me and I roar with laughter.

"Why does everyone assume that I'm anything but straight?" he grumbles under his breath, his head on the bed by my waist as his voice is muffled by the bed.

"I know you're straighter than a line that spans over 180 degrees, sweetie."

Josh's head snaps up, looking at the nurse and breaks into a fit of laughter like he used to do with James. "Yanking my chain just like our friend does every once in awhile." I look at him, rapidly tapping him with my fingertips. "What, Mikkaila?"

"Chace Crawford!" I shout.

He sighs, annoyed with the reminder of the rumors that had been around since he's known the younger man. "Nothing ever happened and you know other wise, Mikkaila Elise."

"Ooooh, I'm shaking in sparkling boots, space cowboy," I retort, ruefully teasing him.

"First, you bring up the rumors and now you take unfair jabs at one of my early songs?"

I fall into hysterics. "Whoa, Mikkaila, you can't get too excited or giddy at the moment now; it may rip open the small incisions," my nurse informs us. He and Josh exchange a knowing glance. "Believe me, she should be back to normal in the next few hours once the drugs wear off."

"She's nicer when she isn't doped up."

"Hey!" I shout.

"It's the truth, honey," he tells me, kissing the top of my head.