November 5, 2011

Syracuse, NY

7:15 p.m.

Melanie sat in the popular local urban coffee shop swirling her spoon around in her white cup, blowing it softly before taking a cautious sip of the hot liquid. The instant tastes of mocha run across her tongue palette. She was never much of a coffee fan until she hit her college years than anything caffeinated became her best friend.

She breathed heavily feeling the warm sensation spread throughout her body before opening her eyes to set them upon the brown orbs that were looking back at her over an occupied cup. Their cups were set back on the repurposed wooden table before either of them spoke.

She sat back in her oversized chair and ran her fingers through her jet black hair. Her eyes scanned the dimly light room as soft classic rock played in the background and people chatted amongst themselves as the sound of grinding coffee and espresso machines went off drowning the chatters out from time to time.

She watched as people revolved in and out of the front door trying to escape the cold whether it was coming inside or heading back to their respected cars. They were a few weeks into the beginning of fall and fall around NY came so quickly that you could barely blink and the white specs were falling heavily from the sky.

Melanie stretched out one arm on the table as she fingertips fiddled with the empty sugar packets off to the left of her cup and the little grains of sugar on the table.

“I just don’t know what to do from here. It just feels like my very life has been ripped from me literally and figuratively.” Melanie sighed worryingly. She ran her black painted finger tips along the handle of the spoon she used. She swallowed down the lump in her throat for the thousandth time of the day. She didn’t want to cry anymore, even after her efforts a single tear managed to slip from the corner of her eye.

“Why don’t you just come back to L.A. with me?”

Melanie stared at her cousin as she sat across from her with her arms folded on the table. She studied the seriousness of her face. When her cousin didn’t blink, move or hesitant, she still ended up shaking her head waving her off.

“Sanaa, I can’t do that. I can’t just pick up and leave.”

“Why not?” She asked.

Melanie bite down her bottom lip,” Because, I have a job.”

“Your own Medical Leave.”

“I have a house.”

“That’s not even in your name and is in foreclosure.”

 “My family.”

“Most of them you don’t even talk to and your Mom and Dad are constantly on vacation somewhere because of retirement.” She interjected.

“I can’t leave Reggie.” Melanie whispered softly.

Sanaa sighed heavily pausing for a moment, but replied sympathetically.

“Mel, the reality is that he has already left you.”

Melanie ran her thumb over her empty ring finger, still feeling the indention slightly even though it had only been several days since Sanaa had talked her into removing the symbol. She took a shaky breath before her tears began to fall like the beginning of a stream.

 The past year had been hell for her. Hell was an underestimate it couldn’t put her whole year in one category. She got cheated on, house went into foreclosure, and cheated on, separated from her husband, then divorced all while having an abortion.

“Baby come on, we can work this out.”

“Sign the papers Reggie.”

“Mel, come on this is going to fair.”

“Reggie, don’t make this harder than it is for me just sign the papers so I can go.”

She pulled a pen from her purse as slid it over the counter to him as she waited for him to sign on the dotted line, so she could get them back to her lawyer as soon as possible. She crossed her arms over her chest as she stared down at the papers as she waited.

She could feel his hazel eyes roaming over his face as he wiped the car oil from his fingers with his mechanic cloth. He sighed looking down at the paper before grabbing them and stuffing them into his back pocket.

She popped her head up and searching his face wildly,” What are you doing?”

“I don’t think this is necessary. You are upset. I’m upset. We have a lot of things that have happen, but I never thought for a moment that we would end up here.” He moved from around the counter as he began to walk back into the car garage. She quickly followed suit.

She knew that this wasn’t exactly the place for this matter, but after countless times of trying to meet up with him and him flaking every time this had become her only option. She followed closely behind him yanking the papers from pocket.

“Look, Reggie I don’t have time for this shit. It has come to this and how you thought it wouldn’t is beyond me and not my problem. But I have to do this!” She spoke as firmly as her emotions would let her.

He turned around in the middle of the floor as machinery went off all around them making their conversation almost unheard for others,” Melanie, you need this? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Look, I know I screwed up, I know shit has been really fucked up lately. We both done some shit we regret, but this can be fixed.”

Melanie shook her head furiously,” No it cannot. How do you expect me to move on from this? How dare you ask me to endure more pain? As if giving up our baby wasn’t enough.”

“Come on Melanie, how bringing a kid into this fucked up marriage going to benefit anyone.”

“You only prove why I want out.”

She drew a shaky breath before handing out the paper again,” Sign the paper.”

He snatched the paper from her hand and grabbed her arm with the other pulling her to him forcefully,” I am not signing shit. “He breathed heavily in her ear before removing his hand and turning on his heel to head towards the back office.

“SIGN THE FUCKING PAPER! THAT’S THE LEAST YOU CAN DO YOU FUCKING BASTARD AFTER DESTORYING EVERYTHING!” She screamed to the top of her lungs as tears ran down her face causing everyone to stop working, trying to figure out what was going on.

He turned around his caramel colored face turning a deep brown red. He practically charged at her grabbing the back of her arm as he pulled her out towards the front of the building. She fault him along the way as she screamed and cried.

As they got out of ear shot, he shoved her in front him,” Have you lost your fucking mind?!!! Are you trying to fuck up my shit because you gone insane.”

He pulled the pen from her hand as he scribbled his name on the line,” Fine here, fuck it. I want out too. You did this remember you did this Melanie. I’ve always tried with you.”

Once he was done he threw the paper at her and stomped back into the garage leaving her to gather the separate papers from the ground as if she was picking up the pieces of her heart.

The abortion killed her on the inside slowly, sending her into a slow depression. She went on short term disability ordered by her doctor. Her hair was falling out from all the stress and she could barely get out of bed to get ready for work. She lost fifteen pounds rapidly and her menstrual cycle was out of whack.

She felt like she was losing her mind the last couple of months, but the ending of her marriage set everything in reality. She was alone, abandoned and felt unloved. She didn’t know how she could get back to normal after all this. Then her cousin, Sanaa Lathan came home from L.A. to help her put somewhat of her life back together after hearing from her mother’s sister her Mom about everything that was happening.

She was on the next flight out without question.

Sanaa stood in the middle of the doorway of the darken bedroom staring at the almost lifeless figure curled up underneath the oversized comforter. She sighed softly pulling the strap of her purse from her shoulder before entering inside.

“Melanie.” She whispered out as she approached the bed. When she got no replace she carefully sat down on the side of the bed placing her purse down beside her feet. She reached out to touch her cousin’s shoulder gently. Once her hand made contact Melanie took a deep breath and let it out painfully before placing her shaky head on top.

Sanaa let a tear fall from her eyes. She felt the shakiness of her cousin hand and felt as she was taking on her pain. She slid her feet out of her pumps before pulling back the comforter and curling up beside her Melanie quietly, but quickly.

Sanaa looked at Melanie as a little sister and to see her so heartbroken it made her heart ache for her. When she heard everything that transpired over the last couple of months from her Melanie’s Mom, her aunt and her own mother. She booked a flight within the hour. She canceled all her appointments and meeting with her wedding planner and with her agent before she took flight the next day. She was glad Josh, her fiancé so understood he helped her pack and sent his love.

She wrapped her arms around Melanie fragile body and hugged onto her tightly. She soon felt her body erupted as she cried out into the night like many nights before.

“I’m here Melanie, we going to get through this. Together.” She whispered against her ear.

It had been a month since she arrived and had couple of weeks to go before she had to get back to LA to start another film project. She was grateful that her cousin took the time away from home and also away from her fiancé.  Melanie felt terrible though because they were in full swing of planning their wedding, but Sanaa reassured her several times that it wasn’t something she couldn’t do via e-mail or phone.

She still felt horrible.

“What cake did you like?” Sanaa spoke into the phone as she sat in the middle of the guest bed with her MacBook opened to her e-mail and multiple pages opened to different websites all featured around her wedding.

Melanie sat next to her leaning against the head board wrapped up in a large fleece blanket and an oversized college sweat shirt and black leggings with pink tube socks pulled up to her knee. She watched her cousin flip between her e-mails, webpages and books that were spread out over the comforter.

“You know I’m a simple guy babe, just get me a simple good ass cake and I’m set.” Josh, her fiancé, voice echoed throughout room once Sanaa placed him on speaker phone so she could free up her hand.

Sanaa smirked at the phone,” But which one did you like?”

“The buttercream one the raspberry filling was damn good.”

“Not the truffle one?” Sanaa questioned.

“Baby that cake is ten grand, If I wanted to waste that kind of money, I would take that ten stacks and mush it in your face as least I know it wasn’t gone to waste. I can reuse the money.”

Sanaa threw her head back and laughed. Melanie couldn’t help, but chuckle herself. It had a point.

“Buttercream it is babe.”

Melanie wiped the tears from her face with her napkin that was laid across her lap. She dapped at her cheeks trying to clear up mascara stains as she sniffled.

“I don’t know Sanaa, I would need to time to try and find a place to stay, a new job. Save money to move out there. “Melanie rambled on as she pulled her purse from the back of the chair to retrieve her compact.

Sanaa smiled softly,” I will help you figure all that out while you are out there. That is not something I am concerned about right now. I am just trying to get you to agree to a new environment. New scenery would be great for you right now. You and Reggie have the same social circle and just think about the agony and pain you would put yourself through just being around all that.”

It was something she thought about often when talking to some of their mutual friends from time to time as they called their house to check up on her. When they decided, well more like she decided they should separate for a while she stayed at their house and he went to stay with one of his college football buddies.

“When are you talking about me coming out there?”

“Soon.” Sanaa replied.

Melanie raised her eyebrow,” How soon?”

“Like when I leave here to go back home soon.” Sanaa smirked questionably.

Melanie bite down on the bottom of her lip in anxiety,” Look, Melanie this is no way you can recover from this, if you want to continue to hold on to the if’s. I don’t care about the logistics of the move, all I care about is getting you back to “normal.” As much as possible.”

Sanaa reached across the table holding out her hands,” Trust me Sanaa, this will be the best decision you ever made. Josh and I will be there for you ever step of the way. You just have to be willing to say yes to the process.”

Melanie looked down at her cousin’s hands and slowly placed her hands inside,” Ok. Yes.”