Chapter 20 – Not Such A Bad Thing (Part Two)

She held on tightly to him after she heard the words leave her mouth, in case he tried to let go – or on the other spectrum, fainted.

“You're what?”

“I'm pregnant,” she repeated.

To her surprise, he didn't release her from his grasp, or even move, for several moments. She was bracing for him to actually faint when he finally let go.

“You're what?” he asked, finally looking at her.

“I'm--”

“No, I heard you,” he said. “How did this happen?”

“I--”

“You were on birth control!”

“It fails sometimes.”

“How far along are you?”

“Twelve weeks,” she said quietly.

“Twelve weeks?” he yelled. “And when were you going to tell me?”

“I was waiting until I figured out how to tell you.”

“Here's an idea. 'Hey Lance, guess what? I'm pregnant',” he said.

“It's not that easy,” she said, feeling herself get angry.

“I'm not an expert, but from what I understand – you pee on a stick and you go from there,” he said. “It's not that hard, Addy.”

“This is exactly what normal people don't understand about miscarriage,” she said, feeling something snap inside of her. “It will never be that easy for me again. A positive pregnancy test is only the first part. Every cramp, every twinge, every pain, every doubt will eat away at me for nine months. And it doesn't stop – there's no 'safe zone' for miscarriage like they want you to believe. It will be nine months of crazy for me. So was I a little worried about breaking the news to you? Yeah, I was – not only for your sake, but for mine, too.”

He stopped and watched her break down into tears right in front of him before walking out of the room.

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“So much for sleeping on the couch, Chris.”

Melissa laughed as she leaned into him in bed, feeling the warmth of his bare chest against her own.

“Best laid plans, right?” he said with a smile.

He leaned in to capture her lips in a kiss, savoring her touch against his arms, the taste of her lips, and her scent.

“You know, it's not fair,” he said, pulling away. “I bet you know all this stuff about me, but I hardly know anything about you.”

“You mean like, favorite color, perfect first date, ideal woman...” she said with a smile.

“No,” he said, chuckling. “Better stuff. Deeper. Get to know you stuff.”

“Wow Kirkpatrick, your pillow talk needs a little work,” she said.

“I'm serious,” he said, laughing. “20 Questions. I get the first question.”

“Chris, really...”

“You scared, Weston?” he said with a grin.

She smiled. “Scared? I think that paramedic was mistaken when he said you had a brain up there. Fine. Ask away.”

Chris harrumphed at her joke and thought a few moments.

“Where in Arkansas are you from?”

“I'm from Little Rock. I've moved around some, but always in the state,” she answered, shrugging. “Well, until now of course.”

“So it's not true that you marry your own cousins?” Chris asked, unable to resist, flinching when she smacked him on the shoulder.

“No, it's not,” she said, unable to resist her own smile. “And not all of us play banjos, drink moonshine and 'wrastle gators' in our spare time either. I thought it was my turn?”

“Fire away, then,” he said.

“If you could give up all your money and fame for one thing, what would it be?”

Melissa's eyes met his and she studied his face, waiting for an answer.

“Oooh girl, you're pulling out the punches,” he said. “If I could give up all my money and fame for one thing, it would be happiness and security for my mom and sisters for the rest of their life.”

“That's actually...sweet,” she said.

“Is it that much of a surprise?” he said with a chuckle. “I can be that way sometimes, you know. It's my turn. What's your favorite music group – that isn't NSYNC or Backstreet Boys,” he added for good measure with a smile.

“You mean I have to choose one?” she said, sighing deeply. “I listen to everything. I like all sorts of groups and singers and genres...that's almost an unfair question to a music lover.”

“Somehow I think that was a cop-out answer,” Chris replied.

“And what are you going to do about it?” she asked with a smile.

He leaned in and kissed her softly on the lips, running a hand through her blonde hair.

“Foul,” she said breathlessly. “Distraction technique.”

He smiled and let her go, leaned down on his elbows and waiting for her next question. She took a few moment to think, tapping her mouth softly with her index finger, deep in thought.

“What would you be doing now if you weren't in the group?”

“Good question,” he said. “I'd probably be working a regular job, but I think I'd still be singing one way or another. I don't think I could have stopped. Otherwise, married, maybe a couple of kids...”

Suddenly, they both noticed the tension in the room change, becoming uncomfortable as each of them shifted in bed.

“Awkward,” Chris said, to which she slightly giggled. “My turn again. What brought you all the way from Arkansas to big New York City?”

He noticed the smile fall from her face and her gradually become more uncomfortable, looking away from him.

“That's not important, Chris,” she said.

“Sure it is,” he said. “That's a big move to make just for a career change.”

“Well, what brought you from Florida to New York?” she asked. “Sometimes you need a change.”

“Foul,” he called. “You're avoiding the question with another question.”

“I don't want to talk about it.”

“No, you can't do that,” he said with a smile. “Official rules. You have to answer, Weston.”

“It was an ex of mine, alright?” she said, throwing her body to turn away from him in frustration. “Can we drop it now?”

He was stunned into silence by her sudden change in attitude.

“Not after that reaction, we can't,” he said, reaching an arm over to wrap around her.

“It was a long time ago,” she said, settling into his grasp.

“Couldn't have been that long,” he said. “You only moved here a few months ago.”

“It was long enough that I'd like to forget about it all,” she said quietly.

“Is that why your apartment was the way it was?” he asked.

“My apartment was the way it was because that's how I kept it,” she said, sounding annoyed. “I like to live simple.”

“You mean you like to live simple because you had no other choice,” he said. “You ran away from something and you didn't come here with much.”

“Don't try to get into my head.”

“I'm not trying, you're making it easy,” he said with a smile.

He waited for a response, but instead she went still and silent. He watched her shoulders move with her breathing, slow and steady, and thought that she had fallen asleep – until he saw her hand move to her eyes and heard a small whimper.

“Mel, are you crying?” he asked.

He was shocked when she moved her body to turn back toward him, throwing her arms around his neck and leaning into his chest, sobbing.

“We won't talk about it anymore,” he said quietly, trying to comfort her. “We'll just lay here. You'll be okay, Mel. I promise.”

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Lance had sat on her couch for at least twenty minutes, taking deep breaths and trying to focus and relax. He knew he didn't dare step a foot into her bedroom until he was capable of talking rationally with her, and she with him.

“Addy,” he said, slowly making his way into her bedroom, his hands in his pockets. “I'm sorry.”

She was sitting on the edge of her bed with her back turned towards him, holding a small picture in her hand. As far as he could tell, she had stopped crying.

“Knee-jerk reaction,” he said, shrugging even though she couldn't see it. “Your fiancee tells you she's pregnant when you're not expecting it – I guess you kind of lose your head a little.”

“How was I supposed to tell you?” she asked. “How was I supposed to tell you that I'd lied to you for over a year because I was afraid that I would lose another baby?”

“I don't care that you lied,” he said, sitting down next to her. “Maybe I did at first – but you were protecting yourself. I wish you'd told me sooner so I could have been here for you – and the baby.”

He leaned over, moving his hand over her stomach and leaning to rest his chin on her shoulder.

“Addy, we're having a baby,” he whispered with a smile.

Even with stray tears in her eyes, she couldn't help but smile hearing a hint of happiness in his voice.

“Are you mad at me?” she asked.

“No, baby,” he whispered. “I can't be mad at you.”

“Are you scared?”

“Shitless,” he said. “I'd be thrilled if I wasn't so terrified of the possibilities.”

“You're scared that something is going to go wrong,” she said quietly.

“How can I not be?” he asked. “Thinking of all the nights you woke up in tears, having a bad dream, and you were virtually inconsolable about April. All the times we've visited the cemetery and...”

He paused and she felt him sigh.

“I can't think about it.”

“Are we going to be okay, Lance?” she whispered.

“Yeah,” he said quietly with a nod. “Yeah, I think we'll be okay.”

They sat quietly next to each other, both looking at the paper she held.

“A baby,” he said, his eyes locked on the ultrasound in her hands.

“I have another appointment in a month,” she said. “He says we might be able to tell then if it's a boy or a girl.”

She watched, expecting him to chime in with the typical father's wish – a strapping baby boy to play football with, one who would dig in the mud and bring home bugs in his pocket for her to find when washing the laundry. But he only stared at the picture.

“I want to be there,” he finally said.

“I want you to be there,” she responded.

“What a mess we have, huh?” he asked, chuckling. “A stalker, a kid, a wedding...”

“Oh God, the wedding,” she said with a groan. “This is going to mess with all of our plans.”

“We'll figure it out,” he said.

“Will we?” she asked. “Have we done such a great job of figuring it out so far? Look at us. We started out as enemies, then we became friends, then we became partners...”

“So why does it feel like we're going back to being enemies?” he said, more of a statement than a question.

“It's not about us anymore, Lance,” she said. “We have to figure out a way to work this out.”

“We will.”

When she didn't respond, he lifted a hand and turned her to face him.

“Hey,” he said. “We will.”

He looked her in the eyes, giving her a silent promise, and she nodded in response as she felt tears in her eyes again.

“Lance, we're having a baby.”

“We're having a baby!” he exclaimed, finally letting his excitement show. She could only laugh as he smiled widely and cupped her chin.

“I love you,” she said as he leaned down, kissing her.

“And I love you,” he said.