Chapter 26 – Headstrong

“So Joey, what's the name of the new show called?”

Lance glanced over at his crew member, Drew, then immediately over at Joey.

“It's called My Family Recipe Rocks,” Joey responded.

“And you go into people's houses and they teach you some of their favorite recipes, is that right?” Lisa, known as Giggles to the rest of the crew, asked.

Lance leaned back in his chair and watched on as Joey discussed his new show with the crew. One of his favorite times of the day was when it was time to do his radio show. He loved sitting here at the table, his whole crew around him – Drew, Lisa, Heather, and Michael – being surrounded by microphones and equipment.

Until Adeline had approached him with the opportunity to work for Sirius, he had never considered himself being a radio host. During his days with the group he had various opportunities to host television shows, like TRL and the occasional daytime talk show as a special guest host, but he had never considered having his own show. It had taken a while to get used to, but he couldn't imagine doing anything else with his career right now.

He loved being back in music – if only indirectly.

“That's an interesting concept for a cooking show,” Heather said. “It's different. You know, it's not the host cooking like a lot of shows.”

“That was one of the reasons the idea intrigued me,” Joey said. “My family are all food lovers. We love to cook – and I liked the concept of doing something I loved while meeting new people and learning about new cultures and family traditions.”

“You meet some interesting people, Joe,” Lance finally said, a smile on his face. “Tell us about some of your weirdest encounters with people you've had on the show.”

“Oh man,” Joey said, rolling his head. “We meet all kinds. Like we did back in the day, you remember?”

Lance nodded. “I remember. Room service cart girl?”

“I'm not getting chased by girls running behind buses anymore,” Joey said. “Some of them do get pretty wild, but I like doing the show and it's not too bad. Some of them get 'hands on', if you know what I mean.”

“How does your wife feel about that?” Michael asked.

“She's dealt with that for a lot longer than I've been doing the show,” Joey said with a chuckle. “She's used to it. As long as this big Fatone ghetto booty is coming home to her, she's fine.”

“You do have a pretty big booty,” Lance said with a laugh.

“I'm the J-Lo of Italian men,” Joey responded. “Juvenile wrote the song 'Back That Azz Up' about me.”

“How did we go from cooking to J-Lo's butt?”

“Giggles, it's Joey Fatone in the hizzle,” Lance said.

“Fo' shizzle my nizzle,” Joey responded.

“That must have been one interesting time riding with you two on a tour bus for months at a time,” Heather said, looking at them both and shaking her head. “No wonder Chris is insane.”

“No, that's from all the time he spent hanging out with Justin and having his hair braided too tightly,” Lance said, laughing. “We have to go to a commercial but we'll be back with more from Joey, on Dirty Pop.”

Lance switched the airwaves to a commercial break and looked at Joey, both of them removing their headphones. He grabbed his empty coffee mug and left his crew sitting around the table with Joey, conversing among themselves, to head over to the opposite side of the room.

Coffee. It was the only way he survived these days. He wouldn't tell Addy so as not to pile on unnecessary worries for her, but he had never been so stressed in his life.

His first child. Being married. To top it all off, someone ruthlessly stalking them...when it didn't appear that they were going to go away like he had originally thought. When Addy wasn't keeping him up in the middle of the night worrying if something was wrong – if the wiggles she felt in her stomach meant bad things, or the absence of wiggles meant something bad – he was keeping himself up.

He had known walking into this relationship with her about her history with pregnancies, that one day they would also become his history. It was one thing when it was only a thought – the thought that he'd like to attempt to conceive a child and start a family with her, even knowing the road ahead of them might be long and bumpy, if not rocky, like crawling on your hands and knees on a cobblestone pathway.

But it was an entirely different story now that it had become a reality. He was a person who, while not as obsessively as Addy, liked to plan for things. Now that he had a wife who relied on him, it meant even more that he wanted to plan for his life, even knowing that things may not turn out the way he ideally wanted. Knowing he had a baby on the way, he wanted to be prepared – Addy's tiny apartment was no place to raise a child, and he wanted his family to have a nice house to grow in. He was anxious to put together a nursery before the next five months slipped away from them, so they wouldn't find themselves driving to the hospital and worrying about being unprepared to bring a baby home.

But it was all a slippery slope. For her, he could see the pain in her eyes at the thought of putting together yet another nursery and coming home one day to realize that it would forever be empty. She wanted to, but she also wanted to protect herself from the pain she knew she might realistically have to face. For him, his thoughts of planning and preparing were quickly replaced by the thought that having children might not be as simple as he'd always thought; that this time he might be the one coming home with empty arms next to her. That was what always ended up freezing all thoughts of planning for him.

Planning for having a new baby eventually turning into planning to grieve for that child...it was too much.

And that's what kept him up at night. He was now in her shoes, when he wasn't before. Like she couldn't know or understand what was going on inside her body at any given minute, neither could he. He couldn't control it. He couldn't change it. He couldn't stop whatever was going to happen from happening. He could only wait.

And it was slowly driving him crazy.

“Hey.”

As he was pouring himself a fresh cup of coffee, he felt Joey's hand hit his shoulder from behind, and turned his head to look at him.

“Hey,” Lance said, shaking a sugar packet. “Good to have you on the show today.”

“Good to be here,” Joey responded, his voice soft. “You okay?”

“Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine,” Lance said.

“Don't lie to me,” Joey said. “You're awful at it. You're quiet and you look like you're about to fall into the bags under your eyes and never find your way out.”

“I didn't get much sleep last night,” Lance said. “Not a big deal.”

“Last night. The night before that. The night before that,” Joey said, his voice trailing. “I do have Addy's phone number, and I do occasionally text her to see if she's reached the point in marriage that she's got your balls in a vice yet.”

Lance chuckled. “Best idea we ever had was to elope – if only to avoid your toast at the wedding.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Joey said, reaching to pour his own cup of coffee. “So what's up? Why aren't you getting any sleep? She says you toss and turn so much at night that you keep her up and if you don't stop, she might suffocate you with her pillow soon.”

“Doesn't sound like that bad of an idea right now,” Lance said with a sigh.

“Is it really that bad?” Joey asked. “Is all of this with the baby so bad that it's come to this?”

Lance tapped his coffee mug. “Joe, you've got two daughters.”

After a pause, Joey nodded. “Yeah, unless Kelly knows something that I don't, I've got two daughters.”

“Imagine – for a minute – back when Kelly was pregnant with Brianna,” Lance said. “Knowing the likelihood of something going wrong was a lot higher. Knowing that you can't begin to understand what's going on inside your wife's body at that moment. Knowing that if something is wrong, you can't help her with it.”

Joey only stared at him.

“Imagine being in the kitchen one evening trying to cook your wife a good dinner because she can't do it herself. All of a sudden, you hear her start to sob on the couch. You listen to those sobs turn to cries. You walk over, trying not to panic thinking something is wrong and avoid scaring her, and ask her what's wrong. And she looks up at you with tears in her eyes and tells you that after waiting two and a half hours, she finally felt a flutter in her stomach. And it's only a minor relief because then it starts all over again – she's going to wait another two hours to feel something, so she can feel the tiniest bit of relief for a few minutes. You watch her obsess over it – and you can't do anything for her.”

Joey averted his eyes, looking down at the floor.

“That's why I'm not sleeping,” Lance said. “That's why I toss and turn. That's why I live on coffee to get through the day. I carry her worries along with my own. I don't even get the reassurance of feeling that...flutter to put my mind at ease.”

“The doctor told her that things looked great last time though, right?” Joey asked. “Doesn't that count for something?”

There were so many things going through Lance's head that he could say – everything was fine last time, but that was 'last time', and 'last time' was a long time ago – but he finally understood Addy now. It didn't matter what you said to a person; until they walked in your shoes, they could never understand.

“It counts for nothing, Joe,” Lance said. “It counts for nothing.”

Lance turned around and saw Michael motioning to them that they were about to be back on the air, and he felt Joey gently breeze past him as his phone rang from his pocket. Taking a few steps forward slowly, he reached in for it and brought it up to look at the screen.

Seeing Addy's name pop up on the screen, worry set in.

“Guys, start without me,” he said, not looking up at them. “I gotta take this.”

Nobody even looked twice at him as he exited the studio door, entering into the hallway before he pushed the button to connect the call.

“Hey baby, everything okay?” he asked, putting the phone to his ear.

“Everything's fine...baby.”

Lance narrowed his eyebrows. The voice on the other end was a gruff male voice.

“Who is this?” he asked.

“Take a guess,” the voice said.

It only took a moment for Lance to realize it. We'll be speaking soon. It had been the last note they had received, no more than two weeks ago. The fact that it had been delivered with a knife stabbed through their door had been a concerning message.

And then he realized...the name on his caller ID had been his wife's.

“Where is she?” he asked, feeling a sudden panic.

“Don't worry, she's at home,” the caller said. “Safe and sound. Just like you left her. Of course, that could change pretty easily.”

“How did you get her phone?” Lance asked.

“It's called Caller ID spoofing,” the voice said. “Fun, isn't it?”

“What do you want from us?” Lance asked.

“I want to see you suffer,” the voice said. “It would give me great pleasure.”

“You know, it's pretty clear that this is between you and me,” Lance said. “Why do you have to drag my wife into it? Why can't you leave her be if it's me you really want?”

“Because it's not half as fun that way.”

Lance pursed his lips. “Who are you?”

“Take a guess,” the caller repeated, a smile in his voice.

“I'm not into playing games,” Lance said.

“Oh, but I am.”

Hearing the studio door open and shut behind him, he looked to see Joey join him. Lance locked eyes with him, and after an instant thought, brought the screen on his phone to life to switch the call over to speakerphone.

“It's so much fun playing games with you, Lance,” the caller said. “Watching your every move...how you worry about her...trying so hard to keep her safe.”

“I'll die before I let anything happen to her,” Lance responded. “You'll have to get through me first, asshole, before you ever get to her.”

“You're right,” the caller teased. “I will have to get through you first. But don't worry...I'm getting closer.”

“Try me,” Lance said. “I survived a fucking fire. See what you can do next.”

“Feisty,” the voice said in a biting tone. “Headstrong. I like it. It makes things more challenging. I'm always up for a challenge.”

“So am I,” Lance said. “The challenge is finding you. And when I do, I'll be the one having fun.”

The caller chuckled. “I don't think so.”

“Don't be so sure of yourself,” Lance said. “It'll be your undoing.”

“Take your own advice. You're pretty sure of yourself, too – confident you can protect her. Confident you can protect yourself. Confident that you'll win and I'll lose.”

“The cops get closer to finding you every day,” Lance said, even though he knew it was a lie. Analysis on the cardstock the notes were written on had come up empty. All the notes were typed, so there was no chance of handwriting analysis. There was never any fingerprints or DNA on anything – not a drop of sweat, blood, a single strand of hair...nothing. “Abrams will find you.”

“Abrams is an idiot,” the caller said. “The whole NYPD are idiots. I'm right under their nose; and yet...they can't find me.”

“They will when I pay them a visit and have them trace this phone call.”

The caller laughed loudly. “Give it up. How stupid do you really think I am?”

“Stupid enough to do all this while you have an audience,” Lance said. “All for attention. Seems pretty stupid to me.”

“It's more fun with an audience. She's not safe anywhere. It'll be even better now that she's pregnant.”

“Fuck you,” Lance growled and immediately hung up the phone, his fit of anger finally taking him over.

“Chris and Mel are headed over to check on Addy, just in case,” Joey said, and it was finally then that Lance noticed Joey had taken his phone out of his pocket.

“I'm not even fucking safe at work now,” Lance said, shoving his phone in his pocket and pushing the studio door open roughly.

All he could do was go back to work and let the world continue turning...and hope that this would all end soon.

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“God, I hope she's okay.”

Chris could hardly keep up with Melissa as she rushed from the elevator down the hallway toward Addy's apartment door.

“I'm sure she's fine,” Chris said. “Joey said it was a precaution.”

His words fell on Mel's deaf ears as she reached Addy's door. She didn't bother knocking, instead immediately turning the knob. To both of their surprise, it opened immediately.

“Unlocked,” Mel said. “Addy wouldn't do that.”

“She probably forgot to lock it when Lance left,” Chris said. He didn't even believe himself.

Mel opened the door slowly, peering in before walking in carefully.

“Addy!” Mel yelled through the apartment. Hearing only silence except for the television, she took another step inside, with Chris following quickly. “Addy!”

“Addy, where are you?” Chris yelled after her.

When they heard nothing, Mel stepped inside further and started walking through the living room to search for her friend.

“Guys, what's going—oof!”

As she was about to walk down the hallway to start the search, Addy came around the corner and they ran into each other.

“Addy, are you okay?” Melissa asked, immediately concerned when Adeline put her hand on her stomach.

“I'm fine,” she chuckled.

“Why'd you take so long to answer us?” Chris asked.

“Uh, hello, I'm pregnant,” Adeline said, pointing out her rounding stomach. “I take a bit longer to do everything these days.”

“Is anyone else here with you?” Chris asked. “Did anybody come to the door?”

“Besides you two, no,” Addy responded. “What's going on?”

Instead of answering, Chris walked back to the door and grabbed an umbrella out of the holder. Brandishing it like a baseball bat, he walked past them down the hallway.

“Oh brother,” Mel said, rolling her eyes.

“What in the world have you let him smoke today?” Adeline asked Melissa with a laugh.

“Come on, I'll make you tea and explain it all to you while Sergeant Stupid does his perimeter search,” Melissa said, grabbing Addy's arm to lead her to the kitchen.

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“So he called Lance at the station?” Addy asked before taking a sip of her warm tea that Melissa had put in front of her.

“On his cell phone,” Chris said with a nod, taking a bite out of a muffin.

“What did he say?”

“Your typical stalker stuff,” Chris said. “Hi, how ya doin', I really wanna kill you...”

Melissa reached out and smacked Chris on the chest with the back of her hand.

“Ow,” he said as she gave him a dirty look.

“Don't scare her half to death,” Melissa said. “And for the love of all that's holy, chew with your mouth closed.”

“Yes, mother,” Chris sniped.

“He told Lance that it was more fun with an audience,” Melissa said, looking at Addy. “That you weren't safe anywhere, and that it would be even more fun now that you're pregnant.”

“What did Lance say?”

“A few choice words,” Chris said, purposely chewing with his mouth open to annoy Melissa. “'Fuck you' were two of them.”

“Fantastic,” Addy said. “A pissed-off, creepy stalker is much better than just a creepy stalker.”

“I'm just glad you're okay,” Melissa said. “Lance will be too.”

They all went silent, but after only a few seconds, Melissa's phone dinged from her back pocket. She leaned up from the counter and grabbed it, her eyes narrowing when she saw a new text message from Chris pop up.

“Jesus Chris, are you butt-texting me again?” she asked. While he reached into his own pocket to grab his phone, she shook her head. “I'm going to teach you how to lock that thing.”

“Um...it's not me,” Chris said, turning his phone around towards her. From his screen of sent text messages, the first on the list was Joey – the last person he had responded back to.

Her eyebrows knitted together, and she swiped her finger across the screen slowly to bring up the text message. Chris and Mel exchanged a glance when they saw her eyes widen, fear painted across her face.

“What, Mel?” Addy asked.

“What's it say?” Chris asked.

“I'm coming after you next,” Mel said.