'How did it come to this?' Joey Fatone wondered as he stared out the window of his seventh story hotel room into nothingness. The scene going on outside didn't register with him. He was too lost in thought. In his mind he kept picturing one scene over and over.

'Melissa, baby, wait,' Joey rushed after his wife as she walked through the hotel lobby to the front door. His heart stopped when he saw the cab waiting just outside the front doors. 'Come on listen to me,' he reached for her, grabbing her by the upper arm.

'Don't touch me,' Melissa snipped, whirling around on him nailing him with a glare. 'Leave me alone Joey. I'm leaving.'

Joey swallowed roughly against the lump in his throat as he stared into the green eyes of his wife filled with hurt and anger. 'Melissa let me explain...'

'I don't want to hear it Joey,' she let the cabbie take her suitcase, putting it in the trunk for her. When he was finished he opened the rear passenger door for her. 'I don't want to hear any of your excuses.' She slid into the backseat and the door shut.

Joey could do nothing but stand there and stare as the cab drove away, taking his wife with it. She never once turned around to look at him.

Even as he thought about the scene there was an ache in his heart. He remembered the hurt in his wife's eyes. How those green eyes shone with unshed tears. He could imagine those tears falling, rolling down her cheeks and dropping into her lap; no one there to rub them away. He pressed his palm to his chest as if to cover the gaping wound caused by his wife leaving him.

'You have no one to blame but yourself.' That much was true. There was no one to blame but himself. He could blame Chris Kirkpatrick which he had done for two hours last night as he paced back and forth in his room while his phone calls went unanswered. That got him no where. It sure didn't make him feel any better passing the blame. Honestly he had been looking for a fight, but Chris wouldn't take the bait. Just let him rant and rave taking everything Joey yelled at him.

That wasn't fair to the older man. In two days, Chris was getting married; the reason he was at this hotel. The last thing he should have to deal with was Joey's self-inflicted problems. There was nothing Chris needed to worry about this close to the wedding. Everything was on schedule, Karly was still here and set on marrying him, and guests were in the process of arriving.

Chris wasn't the type of person to just leave him alone when he was having a problem. He didn't work like that. None of them did. Justin, Lance, JC, Chris - they'd all drop everything they had going on in their lives, no matter how big or small and rush to where ever they needed to be to help their brother out. That's how their group worked. They were brothers. They were family. They took care of each other. They were there for each other. They each knew all they had to do was pick up the phone and call.

It was probably one of the main reasons Chris was feeling guilty. It was Chris who - with the help of liquor - let Joey's indiscretion slip. Joey had been trying to get his friend to shut up for half an hour but alcohol had loosened his tongue. As Chris continued further and further into stories, Joey had felt a hand clench his heart. It was like he had known where Chris was going. He hadn't been prepared for the words to come out in the open.

'I can tell you what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna fuck some groupie a week after my wedding like Joey.'

Chris had immediately shut his mouth like he had known he'd done something wrong. But it was too late. The words couldn't be taken back. They were out there, overheard by the men Chris had picked to be his groomsmen, their dates, Karly and Melissa. When the words slipped free Joey had been staring at Melissa watching her reaction. He had immediately stopped caring about what Chris and had gone to his wife. She hadn't been receptive to him them either. She didn't cause a scene. No, that had never been her style. She didn't let him have it back in the safety of their hotel room either. She didn't react at all. Back in the hotel room, she just packed her bags, mindless of his pleading and apologies. She just packed her bags and left. Leaving him with no insight to where she stood.

That's what frightened him the most. He had no idea where she stood. Did she need some time to digest the new information before she could talk to him? Then they could begin to heal and put this behind them. Was it too much for her and she was couldn't get past what he'd done? Was it the end of their thirteen year marriage?

TMZ had already reported on the altercation. Some "inside source" had blabbed and they were running headlines that his marriage was over. Finished. By now everyone knew he had cheated on his wife, albeit thirteen years ago - but those things just never went away. People, especially the TMZ type rags, were quick to bring up prior bad acts. In Hollywood, that type of stuff never went away. The juicer the better.

He felt there was a black cloud hanging over the weekend and no matter what he said or did, he couldn't even begin to make it up to Chris and Karly. From now on, every headline concerning his friends' nuptials would forever be blackened by his wife leaving him.

There was a knock at his door and he thought about ignoring it but he was here for a special occasion. No matter how much he was hurting. When he turned around to answer it he heard the click of the lock unlocked as a key card was inserted and his heart started beating faster at the thought of Melissa returning. It was hard to hid his disappointment when Chris entered, instead of Melissa.

"Great to see you too Buddy."

"I thought you were Melissa."

"My boobs aren't big enough," Chris grinned and held the door open.

"That's not even at the top of your differences," Joey said smiling when he saw the reason Chris held the door open. "JC."

"Hey man," JC returned his friend's smile as they hugged.

"You just get in?" Joey asked, releasing his friend. "I thought you were flying in tomorrow with Lance?"

"I heard what happened so I came early."

Joey looked at Chris. "Seems you still can't keep your mouth shut."

"Hey," Chris raised his arms in an innocent manner. "I've apologized and apologized."

"It's not his fault Joey," JC said.

"If he hadn't opened his mouth..."

"If you'd have kept it in your pants!" Chris countered.

JC sighed and rubbed his temples. "Stop it!" He wished Lance and Justin where here; there'd be more of a buffer between Chris and Joey than just him. "Why the hell didn't you tell Melissa what happened?"

"Oh sure," Joey snapped, looking at JC. "Take his side."

JC groaned. "I'm not taking anyone's side! You both are idiots. The degrees are just different."

"Ha!" Chris grinned triumphantly. "Wait..."

"Chris should have kept his big mouth shut, but you," JC looked at Joey pointedly. "Should have told Melissa a long long time ago."

"I know," Joey sighed and sank down on the couch, his head in his hands. "I should have told her immediately. We could have put this behind us."

"Why didn't you?"

Joey snorted. "Yeah right C. Tell my wife on our week anniversary I cheated on her? I liked my balls right where they were thank you very much."

"In Melissa's purse," Chris snickered.

"If they'd been there then he wouldn't be in this mess in the first place," JC said with a chuckle.

"Fuck you both."

"That's more Lance's forte." Chris grinned, hearing Joey snort and shake his head.

"What do you need us to do man?" JC asked.

"I don't know what you can do," Joey sighed. "I messed up. Bad. I deserve everything that's coming."

"No you don't," Chris said taking a seat next to Joey. "It happened thirteen years ago. It was only one time..." he narrowed his eyes at Joey. "Right?"

"God yes! After that one time I felt so guilty I nearly drove myself crazy! I set about giving Melissa everything she could ever want, trying to make up for what I did. I was so young and stupid... I loved her. I did. I thought I didn't love her like I should have, like she deserved. Turns out I did. Do," he corrected. "I let my fear run rampant and completely overtake every emotion I had. I was scared to be a husband, downright terrified of being a father." He pushed up from the couch and started pacing. "If I had been asked at the beginning of the group who would have been the first to settle down, it wouldn't have been me..."

"Who would it have been? What? I'm curious," Chris said when JC shot him a look.

"Is it really important?" JC asked.

"I just want to know. Don't you? Maybe he had you pegged as being the first to settle down."

"Ha!" JC laughed. "Not likely."

"I don't know JC; you were a lot different back in 95."

"Yeah I wasn't emotionally unavailable then."

"That's your own choosing," Chris said. "Do yourself a favor and the list of criteria you have for potential mates? Rip it up and start over because that's not working out for you. Sometimes I think you're dating the same person. They all look the same."

"Thank you Dr. Phil any other advice you'd like to give me?"

"Well now that you mention it," Chris started. "That hat..."

"Hello," Joey waved his arms. "I'm still here you know. I'm the one with the problem, not C."

"Come on Joey, look at his hat," Chris reached up to snatch it from JC's head only to have his hand smacked away.

"You can shrink JC and his Timberlake tendencies later. Can we focus on me now?"

"Stop that," Chris said seeing JC give Joey the middle finger. "That's what got us into this mess to begin with."

"God," Joey groaned. "Why do I have to be stuck with you two?"

"Who else would you want? Curly?" Chris laughed. "Like he'd be able to give you advice."

"Better than what you're giving me right now!"

"When did you realize you weren't scared anymore?" JC asked, causing the two men to look at him.

"What?"

"You said you were scared to be a husband and terrified of being a father," JC repeated Joey's earlier words. "When did that stop? When did you stop being scared?"

"When I held Caleb for the first time," he smiled thinking of his little man. 'Not so little anymore.' No, his son wasn't so little anymore. He was thirteen years old already; a teenager. "It was that moment, holding him in the delivery room; I knew I had what it took. Holding him opened up my head and allowed my heart to fully love. It was then I knew that I had loved Melissa like she deserved to be loved all along. Being scared just hid it. I had what it took to be both a husband and a father."

"That," JC said, putting a hand on Joey's shoulder, "is exactly what you need to tell Melissa. That's what she needs to hear."

*~*~*~*

The phone stopped ringing, the melody dying in the silence off the house. Only seconds before it had been echoing in the quiet. Melissa had made no move to answer. She knew who was on the other end. She also knew she didn't want to talk to him. Right now, that was the only thing she was sure of.

The blinds were still drawn, blocking out the early morning sun, leaving the house dim and gloomy, which suited her mood just fine. She wasn't sure if the sun was ever coming up. She spent the midnight hours in her living room on the couch in the dark, wrapped up in a throw staring at the darkened TV thinking.

Joey always said that was her biggest downfall. She thought too much. Give her a problem and she'd over think it to death and end up making it out worse than it actually was. That was just her though. For as long as she could remember she had a tendency of over thinking things and making things seem worse than they really where. She hated it to no end.

Caleb was spending the weekend at his friend's house. Melissa was forever grateful. The last thing she wanted was to try to be Mom while her life had been turned upside down. Caleb was a smart boy, he'd see through any fake smile she'd put on her face. She didn't want worry him with grown up problems. A smile graced her lips for the first time since she heard Chris utter those words that turned her life upside down.

'I'm not a baby Mom,' Caleb had said exasperated; complete with an eye roll when she had hesitated leaving him in the very capable hands of Anna Davis, the mother of Seth, Caleb's best friend of eight years when the Fatone's had settled into Los Angeles. The Davis's had grown to be one of their best friends.

Melissa knew Caleb wasn't a baby any longer. He was a thirteen year old boy; a teenager. He talked about girls and football now; the truck he wanted to drive. Gone were the Superman sheets, the bedtime snuggles and standing in front of the television singing along with every video she played on the screen. She spent an entire day crying when Caleb wouldn't let her kiss him goodbye when she dropped him off at school.

'He still loves you,' Joey had told her, sitting next to her on their son's bed where a simple navy blue comforter lied in place of the royal blue with the gigantic Superman logo in the middle. 'He will always love you. All boys go through this. They think only babies still kiss their Mommas and they aren't babies anymore they are men.'

'He'll always be my baby.'

'I know.' Joey had whispered before placing a soft kiss on the top of her head.

A couple days later, she had been the one to take Caleb to school. Before he jumped from the passenger seat in the carpool lane he leaned over and pecked her cheek. With an 'I love you, Mom' he was gone before Melissa could comprehend what had happened. It had taken the horn from the car behind her to jar her from her frozen state of shock. She couldn't remember pulling from the school or pulling into the parking lot of some retail store before breaking down into tears. When the tears had dried she had realized what had happened and who was responsible. Her husband had been rewarded properly.

The flight from Florida to California was spent numb. It was like she was in a haze; purchasing the ticket at the Orlando airport, walking through the terminal, the flight. She was hardly coherent enough to tell the taxi driver her address. The driver probably thought she was strung out on some illegal street drug.

That's what it felt like. Strung out on drugs, hallucinating. What else could be answer for what she was feeling?

'Your husband cheated on you.'

The tears welled in her eyes again and spilled over, sliding down her cheeks. With the backs of her hands she wiped them away. She spent the whole night crying; spent the whole night trying to figure everything out. That had left her with nothing but questions. Question upon question came to mind. Why did Joey cheat on her? Who did he cheat on her with? Did she want to know who he cheated on her with? How many times had he...

A sob escaped and she buried her head in her hands. That was where the over thinking had run rampant. How many times had he cheated on her? Was it one time? Multiple times? Did he cheat on her every time he left to go film another episode? Did he not even wait to leave Los Angeles? Were there women stashed all over the city that he would frequent? Did he just pull random people off the streets or did he know them? Did she know them? Has she been out to dinner with his lady friends, did she invite them over to her house unbeknownst to her she was talking and laughing to a woman who was sleeping with her husband?

At first she hadn't wanted to believe Chris. Chris was known to tell stories when he had been drinking; some true, some lies but all of them were embellished. So she brushed Chris's words off. Until she saw Joey's face that is. She had never seen her husband so pale before and looking so green at the same time like he had wanted to throw up. Seeing that reaction, she knew it had to be true.

Melissa was torn between wanting the answers and not knowing. It was bad enough she knew Joey cheated on her; did she really need to know the sordid details? Wasn't the saying 'ignorance is bliss'? Well she could understand that. Twenty-four hours ago she was happy, in love and ready to celebrate the wedding of one of her closest friends. Now, happy didn't even come close to what she was feeling.

'Do you still love Joey?'

'Of course I do! I think...'

That hurt that she could second guess her love for Joey and she damned him for making her feel this way. She never ever worried about Joey not loving her. She knew he loved her. He told her often...

'Guilt.'

This sucked. It absolutely sucked. Now every time she thought about something Joey had done for her - bought her flowers, offered to do the dishes, planned a romantic evening - all those precious moments she cherished were tattered because she couldn't differentiate between Joey doing it for her out of love or out of guilt. Her memories were tainted.

"Damn you Joey," she hissed. "Damn you. How could you do this to me? How could you make me rethink every thing you've done? How could you make me not trust you?"

How could she trust Joey again after this revelation? He cheated on her, who was to say he'd never do it again? Sure he could tell her constantly that he loved her and she was his only one. But he'd done that before. Could she really believe him anymore? If she couldn't trust him, what kind of relationship would they have? Trust was one of the most important parts in a relationship - hers especially. She had to trust Joey enough to send him off to cities across the United States, where he was known has a member of *NSYNC. Women had his pictures covering their walls and those women were no longer twelve years old anymore. She had to trust him enough not to take any of them up on their offers, no matter how pretty they were and she never had a problem. She never once trusted Joey less than 100%.

Now, when he jetted off to New York to film a show or Arkansas to tape an episode of My Family Recipe Rocks it would always be in the back of her head. Was he really taping an episode or did he lie to me? Is he cheating on me right now? That was no way to live. She would go nuts in months. She would question him and nitpick every little movement, be suspicious of every phone call, text or email. She would turn into the women she despised.

What was left for her to do? Divorce him? After thirteen years of marriage, had her life boiled down to being a divorced, single mom to a teenager in her mid thirties? How depressing was that? At thirty-five she was starting over. Could she do that? Could she separate Melissa from Joey and just be Melissa again instead of Melissa and Joey? Would she even recognize that person? Would she even like that person? What was the first step in even finding that person?

Forgive him? Could she forgive Joey for his indiscretions; for stepping out on her? Could she wipe the slate clean and start all over; rebuilding the foundation of trust that Joey had torn down? Was she that strong of a woman? She always told herself if a boyfriend or husband had cheated on her, she'd kick him to the curb. A tiger never changed his stripes. If he cheated once, he was liable to do it again. If she forgave him this time, was she strong enough to forgive him again if it happened a second time? Was her love for Joey strong enough to hold them together?

The last option she could think of at the moment was stay married for Caleb's sake. They would keep up the married pretenses but their marriage would pretty much be dead. They'd live in the same house, she'd still appear on his arm when needed, they'd go to all Caleb's functions as a happily married couple, but behind closed doors they'd lead separate lives. They could be two people renting the same house. If it dealt with Caleb they'd deal with it together, but everything else would be like they were strangers. That hurt to even think about; spending every day with Joey under the same roof, knowing that even though on paper they were still husband and wife, they would virtually be roommates. He could date whomever he wanted. She could date...

God, she hadn't been on a date in fourteen years! She didn't even know how to date anymore! Where they even any single men her age left or was it just the bottom of the barrel? No - she wouldn't date. She would just spend the rest of her life. No, not alone; she would have Caleb. 'Until he went off to college.' Then she'd be all alone. Just her...and her thoughts.

'Help me.'