'Pour some sugar on me,' Joey sang into the microphone from the stage at the front of the reception room.

"Does he have a plan yet?" Justin asked Chris taking a drink from his glass, the amber liquid burning the back of his throat.

Chris rolled his eyes. "You see it."

"Classic Fatone," Lance interjected. "Drink alcohol, karaoke and forget about his problems."

"What a moron," Justin said seeing his two friends nodding in agreement. "The longer he lets this go on the harder it's going to be to crawl back to California. He should have chased after her, never let her get on the plane in the first place."

"Look at you," Chris grinned, a teasing glint in his brown eyes. "All educated on women and shit. You've been married all of what? Ten minutes?"

"Nah Dawg, that's you," Justin grinned slapping Chris on the back. "When it comes to marriage, I'm more knowledgeable than you."

"Riiight," Chris drawled laughing. "Can you believe this?" He asked Lance. "The baby giving out advice on women."

Lance laughed taking a drink of the cool liquid in his glass - non alcoholic of course. He wasn't that much of a drinker anymore. He smiled seeing Michael, his fiancée, making his way toward their group. "I remember when he had no clue what to do with one."

"You still don't."

"What the hell would I want a woman for?" He winked at Michael.

"To make you a sandwich!" Justin said, causing their group to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Jessica, Justin's wife asked as she joined the group. It caused the guys to laugh harder as Justin stumbled over his words.

"Let's talk about how cool Karly is," Justin finally got out. "You're lucky you found someone crazier enough to put up with your ass..."

Chris nodded with a smile. He couldn't dispute that claim. He wasn't an easy man to put up with. He was crazy and hyper. It took a special woman to want to deal with him for the rest of his life. "Don't I know it."

"Then there was one," Lance said when JC joined their small circle.

"Two. You aren't married yet," JC spoke before taking a sip of newly acquired drink. He didn't want to drink too much and be hung over for his flight back to California the next day.

"I'm engaged though," he said proudly sharing a look with Michael.

"You're next Man," Justin grinned wrapping an arm around JC's neck, leaning against him.

JC rolled his eyes, accepting his friends' ribbing good naturedly. "If I had a dollar for every time I heard that today..."

"Like your frugal ass needs a dollar," Justin grumbled. "So what is your excuse?"

"My excuse?" JC asked, playing dumb.

"You should have been snatched up long before the rest of us. What's your problem?"

"Problem?" Chris questioned. "He's surrounded himself with eleven hot chicks! I think he's doing just fine."

"Christ, you're old enough to be their father!"

"So?"

"That's wrong," Justin said, pushing the older man's shoulder. "Even for you."

"Just because I'm married now did you think I'd change?"

Justin tossed his head back and laughed. "Nah Man, never crossed my mind. Come on, old man," he put his arm around Chris's neck much like he had JC earlier. "Let's go save Joey from himself. Between the," he looked around their group, "six of us we should be able to fix this."

"Or at least not fuck it up any more than it already is," Lance muttered as they made their way through the throngs of people.

*~*

The flight back to California was long and lonely. He put on a smile and posed for pictures with fans both at the terminal in Orlando and on the plane until the flight attendants put a stop to them. He didn't mind. It gave him something to do, something to put his mind on other than the impending doom that awaited him in LA.

The closer he got to California the tighter his chest got. He could barely breathe as he stood outside his front door trying to force himself to calm down. It was easier said than done. He had no idea what awaited him on the other side of the door. Would Melissa be there for him so they could talk this out and put it behind them? Would he walk in to an empty house made vacant by his wife leaving him and taking their son with her? Would his key even work in the lock?

There were so many questions he didn't have the answers to. Melissa had ignored each and every phone he placed to her. His texts had gone unanswered. He tried to remember the advice the guys had given him but all he could think about was his wife not waiting for him.

'Fuck! I should have gone after her.'

'You never should have let her leave!' That particular voice sounded a lot like Justin's. He remembered Justin telling him that after the guys pulled him off the stage last night for a 'Joey's a fucking dumbass' meeting.

Of course he knew he shouldn't have let her leave but at the time, he didn't want to cause a scene and he figured Melissa needed some time on her own. Frankly he thought she'd kill if she stayed near him. So he let her go; all the way back to California. Three thousand miles away from him to an empty house where all she could do for 3 days was think.

'That meeting was aptly named,' the voice said again. 'You are a fucking dumbass.'

He left Melissa alone for three days. She had three days to think. He wouldn't be surprised if she had come to what to do five times and over thought herself out of each and every one.

"You deserve it if she talked herself out of keeping your dumb ass." He muttered to himself. There was a flip side. She could have decided to kick his ass to the curb and then talked herself into keeping his sorry excuse for a human being. "And knowing her, she could have talked herself back into divorcing you."

'Stop stalling and get in there and talk to her!'

'Be prepared to crawl.'

'Tell her the truth."

Joey sighed and put his key into the lock. Standing outside the door was not going to solve anything. He had to go in and face whatever Melissa gave out. He deserved every last name she called him. What did he have to lose at this point?

'Everything.'

The moment of truth came when he twisted his wrist. The locked turned and he was able to push the door open. He breathed a sigh of relief. Melissa hadn't locked him out. That was one plus on his side. He placed his suitcase on the floor inside the door and shut the door behind him. Looking around he didn't see anything missing but that didn't mean anything. Melissa could have just taken her clothes and left everything behind.

The house was silent but it didn't feel empty. It could have been wishful thinking on his part but he felt Melissa still in the house. It didn't feel vacated. He began his search and to his surprise it didn't take long. His wife was sitting on the couch. The room was lit by the sun and the television was off. On the coffee table in front of her sat her cell phone. His earlier thoughts rang true; she'd been ignoring his attempts to get in touch with her.

"I didn't think you'd be here." Joey said staring at her back.

"I didn't think I'd be here either," Melissa answered truthfully. Joey felt her words deep in his heart. "But you seem to still have a strong hold on my heart."

With that, he felt the hand gripping his heart in a fierce hold, loosen slightly. He still had her heart. That was good. Right? "Even though you're mad at me?"

"I hate you Joey."

Joey reared back as if he had been slapped. That probably would have hurt less. He could feel his heart breaking into a tiny pieces settling into his stomach. A lump rose in his throat and he rubbed his chest where a gapping wound sat. 'Stick and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.' That was a damn lie. Words fucking hurt.

His feet were frozen in place. He didn't know what to do. His heart had yet to recover from Melissa's cruel words. It lay shattered on the floor. His head was telling him that it was too late; he was too late. It was over. His marriage was over. It kept telling him to leave; to save himself any more pain and heartache. "Melissa..." his voice cracked. The lump in his throat made it hard to breath.

"I hate you Joey," Melissa pushed herself up from the couch and turned to face her husband. The pain in his eyes nearly caused her knees to buckle, but she held strong. She couldn't think of his pain. She had to think of hers. "I hate fact that I've cried for three days. I hate the fact that you made me question everything about our relationship. I hate that you have me questioning about all the times you've left me here in California while you had to go away to appear somewhere or film something. I hate that you made me question everything about myself and what I did or didn't do to deserve this."

"Melissa..." Joey was finally able to get his feet to move. He stepped further into the room, his eyes never leaving his wife's. He wasn't sure his heart could hurt anymore than it already did, but each of Melissa's words tore through him. He would take anything she hurled at him - deserved every last one of them but he couldn't take hearing her question herself.

'Tell her.'

'"Do you have any idea how you've made me feel?" She nailed him with a look, stopping him from moving closer to her. "Do you have any idea what it feels like to realize you've been living a lie? To feel like you've been the bumbling, naive idiot; that everyone knew the truth, but you were just too... stupid to figure it out? How could you do this to me Joey? Do I mean nothing to you? Am I just here to help fill your image as a 'family man'? Here to keep your bed warm when one of your whores is unavailable?"

"No!" The single word came out in a rush.

"How could you do this me Joey? To us? How could you care so little about me, about Caleb, about our family!" Melissa's voice rose and she was close to tears again. With her hand she wiped her eyes before the tears could spill over.

"You and Caleb are the two most important people in my life! You two are the reason I wake up each morning."

Melissa laughed humorlessly. "Right. Newsflash Joseph; wives don't take kindly to their husband's cheating on them as a way to prove their love. I don't think that cracks the list on the 'Top Things To Do To Please Your Wife' list."

"Bambina, I can explain..." he swallowed roughly at Melissa's glare hearing his nickname for her.

"Why would I want to hear all the sordid details of you marinating your meat."

Joey fought like hell to keep his lips from twitching. Doing a cooking show, he'd heard just about every cooking innuendo imaginable. Now was not the time for jokes and laughter. He needed to save his marriage. He could not let Melissa walk away from him. He wouldn't survive. "Bambina..."

"Don't call me that," Melissa snapped.

"Melissa, please let me explain. I know you think I'm no better than a flea on a dog..."

"Flea on a dog is a few steps above where I have you now."

Joey sighed. He had a long row to hoe. "Please let me explain. You can hate me all you want. You can tell me to get out and leave and I'll do it. But please let me explain so at least you can hate me for all the right reasons instead of what you've come up with."

"Did you cheat on me?" Melissa asked, crossing her arms.

"Yes," Joey said letting his head fall.

"Then I hate you for all the right reasons. Get out." She turned away from him walking to the window that looked out over their front yard to the street. This was worse than she imagined. The pain was so much. It ripped through her, taking a strong hold of her heart. She couldn't let the threatening tears fall; she needed to hold herself strong. 'At least until he left...'

Hurt washed over Joey. A lump rose in his throat and he fought to breath. He could feel tears prick his eyes and he blinked rapidly, trying to keep them at bay. He parted his lips slightly breathing out of his mouth. Life played out before him; a life without Melissa. The pain in his chest was crippling. He had lied. Walking out that door was not an option. If he went by his word and left; he could kiss his family good bye.

"Mel... please..." 'How good are you at crawling?' Chris's question popped into his head.

"Please what?" Melissa whirled around, glaring at her husband. "You cheated on me Joey. You cheated on me! When I took those vows thirteen years ago, I meant them! I loved you! I cherished you! You were my other half; my soul mate. I believed that we were meant to be together. I believed that you would never hurt me. I let all those mean and hurtful things your fans said to me - about me - roll off my back because I knew they were saying those things out of jealousy because I was with you and not them. I believed you when you said you loved me...."

"I do love you."

Melissa laughed. "Really? You love me? I don't believe it. I used to, but not anymore. Because if you loved me, you wouldn't have done this to me! You wouldn't have caused me this much pain."

"I'm sorry."

"That's not going to cut it this time Joey. This goes way beyond a simply apology. You broke our vows; the ones where we stood in front of our friends and family, pledging our love to one another. When tabloids and gossips talked about how we would never make it, how we only got married because of the baby, we laughed it off and proved them wrong. We proved to every body that we loved each other. We pushed through everything that life threw at us together -"

"Then let's push through this," Joey said, his voice coming out stronger. He had to fight.

"What?" Melissa asked, taken back.

"Let's push through this," Joey repeated, stepping closer. "Melissa, I love you. I love you more today than I did yesterday but not as much as I'll love you tomorrow. You are my soul mate. You are the Robin to my Batman...my Lois Lane. We proved everybody wrong because we love each other. Sure we didn't go the traditional dating, engagement, marriage, baby route. We went our own way and it worked. We made it work because we love each other, we believed in each other."

"But you cheated on me!"

"I know; I know," Joey said, his shoulders hunching. He reached a tentative hand out, grasping her hand in his. "That is something that I have lived with for thirteen years and something that I have to live with for the rest of my life. One moment of weakness when I was young and dumb is threatening to shatter my life. I can't let that happen. You mean way too much for me. You are the sole reason I wake up every morning, the reason I smile, the reason I'm happy. If I had to give it all up; the job, the fame, the money and just be Joseph Anthony Fatone Jr. regular old Joe with a nine-to-five job, I would do it in a heartbeat if I still had you. I could be poor, desolate and living in box under the bridge but I would be happy because I am with you."

"Why?" Melissa asked staring at her husband, letting him read the emotions on her face. Tears spilled over and rolled down her cheek. She allowed him to keep a hold of her hand but she made no move to tighten her fingers around his. "Why would you do this to me?"

"I was scared," Joey whispered honestly.

"Scared? You cheated on me because you were scared?" Melissa said in disbelief. She moved to tug her hand away from Joey's but he held tight.

"Please hear me out," Joey pleaded, gripping her hand. "Just hear me out. Please." He let out the breath he'd been holding when Melissa nodded. "Thank you."

"Just because I'm letting you talk doesn't change anything."

"I know," Joey said softly. He led her to the couch and sat down, tugging her down beside him. He let the pain show on his face when she put space between them. "I know right now you probably don't believe a word I say. I broke your trust in me and that's something I have to earn back. I have only ever cheated on you once. I know once is all it takes, but I swear to you Mel, it was one time."

"Why?" Melissa asked. "Why'd you throw all this away for her? Was she special?"

Joey shook his head. "No; I don't even remember her name."

"So you tossed me away for a nobody. That makes me feel so much better."

"I know," Joey sighed and looked down trying to gather his thoughts. It was so much easier to talk about this in front of the guys. He was able to mess up and try again. There was only one chance with Melissa. He couldn't mess up. It was so hard. All the words were jumbled in his mind; his thoughts were overlapping each other and he fought to pull one out.

"I was young and dumb. We were on the cusp of super stardom. We hadn't been dating very long. I liked you very much. We had a lot in common. You made me laugh and was just as crazy as I was sometimes. You didn't care who I was. You believed in me - in us - and knew we were going to be something special. You scared me. You brought all these feelings to light I didn't know I had. Made me feel and think things I didn't want to. I was happy being in a relationship with you. What we had together... it was great. It was just us, having a good time. I wasn't ready to think long term. I was happy with the here and now."

"And then I got pregnant," Melissa whispered.

"You got pregnant," Joey echoed. "I was so scared. I wasn't ready for that."

"You think I was!"

"I know but I'm a guy. I wasn't thinking about that. I was thinking about how I felt, how this was going to chance my life. We'd just blew up. The group finally made it in the States. We were here there and everywhere. Everyone wanted a piece of us. Touring, photo shoots, interviews...I was soaking it all up. This was what I had wanted - what we had fought for, went to Europe for playing at every menial place. Our dreams were coming true."

"And a knocked up girlfriend didn't fit into those dreams," Melissa said bitterly. She wasn't sure she wanted to hear anymore of this. Her heart wasn't strong enough to take it right now. She should have stuck to her guns and kicked him out without giving him the opportunity to explain.

"I didn't know if it could," Joey replied honestly. "All I could see was the guys going to parties and me stuck at home changing diapers. I was angry wondering how I could let this happen when we were so careful but then... I couldn't ignore the fact that you were pregnant with my child."

"So you married me because I was pregnant?" That hurt worse than finding out Joey cheated on her.

"This isn't coming out right," Joey groaned. He pushed up from the couch and started pacing. He ran his hands over his head and back through his hair. "I had all these feelings for you...I wasn't sure what to make of them. Was it love? Was like it like? Lust? I wasn't..." he turned around and looked at Melissa. "I wasn't sure if I loved you how you deserved to be loved."

"What?" Melissa whispered.

"I'm not denying that I loved you or had strong feelings for you but I wasn't sure if the feelings I felt for you at the time were enough. Did I love you enough to make you happy, to take us fifty years down the road or where the feelings I had enough to take us only a couple of months."

"So instead of talking to me, letting me know this, you decided to go out and hope into bed with some woman?"

"I know it doesn't make it okay. But I was so scared! I was worried I didn't love you enough; worried once we got married our relationship would change that it would deteriorate and we'd grow to hate each other. I couldn't stand the thought of you hating me all because we got married when we shouldn't have."

"Why didn't you tell me this! Why didn't you tell me you didn't want to get married?"

"Because you were so damn happy! I couldn't bear the thought of telling you that I was scared about getting married."

"So you decided to go through with the farce and jump into bed with some bimbo before the ink was dry on our license?"

"As soon as..." he swallowed roughly, "after it was... over, I felt so guilty. I nearly drove myself crazy. I couldn't believe what I had just done. I felt like the lowest man on earth, like I didn't deserve you..."

"You don't."

"I know; I know. You deserve someone ten times better than me," Joey said. "I always thought you married down when you married me. You have to believe me Melissa. I cheated on you one time. After that one time I threw everything I had to being your husband and eventually a father to Caleb. I let my fear of failing as a husband and father run wild and I made the biggest mistake of my life but when I held Caleb in the delivery room - the tiny human being who was a part of me - I knew then that I loved you like you deserved to be loved all along. Fear had clouded that. Seeing you nursing our child, staring down at him with love-filled gaze it just all slid into place. I love you Mel."

Melissa stared at Joey, his image swam in front of her as her eyes filled with tears. She wanted to cross the room and bury herself in her husband's arms. She wanted to tell him she forgave him; they would get through this. She wanted to tell him that she'd been scared too but she couldn't. She shook her head. "I'm sorry Joey," she whispered, her voice cracking. "I want to forgive you, but I can't. Finding out you cheated on me...you broke my trust and if I can't trust you...I can't be with you."

Without giving Joey a chance, she turned on her heel and quickly ran from the room. She barely made it into the bedroom before the tears fell. Collapsing on the bed, she clutched one of the throw pillows Joey was always complaining about and let the tear fall. Sobs escaped as pain coursed through her body. She'd done it; told Joey they were over. It hurt. It hurt worse than anything she had ever imagined. It hurt worse than finding out Joey had cheated on her.

The book that was her marriage was over; the last page written. Instead of being happily ever after like she had always imagined, it had turned into a tragedy. Now she was faced with a book full of empty pages. It was daunting; scary. What was she supposed to do now?