Despite her wishes, Justin had showed up at her door, a huge smile on his face, a large caramel mocha in hand, and four twenty seven on the ticking clock. After a lack of arguing on her part, mostly because she was still asleep, and a few hours later she found herself standing on the back porch of Justin’s parent’s house, watching the snow fall. There was something so peaceful about a blanket of white covering everything in its path.

She heard the door open and close behind her, but she didn’t turn to see who it was until she felt a blanket being wrapped around her shoulders.

“It’s a little colder here than it is back in Los Angeles.” A soft southern voice echoed around her.

“Thank you.” She turned to Lynn. “It’s actually refreshing, breathing in the fresh cold air of Tennessee instead of the very healthy smog of L.A.”

“You and my son are both so a like…” She laughed

“Why do you say that?” Charli asked wrapping the blanket tighter around her.

“You both hold things in. You both seem to think that your problems will magically be fixed by a little fresh air.”

She couldn’t argue with the statement, it was the honest truth.

Charli watched the interaction between his family through the window. Real genuine smiles were planted on their faces as they decorated the tree. They enjoyed each other’s company, they were respectful of each other’s space, and they were gracious with one another.

“Come help us finish this tree!” Justin waved his hand at her through the glass.

She walked into the house that was now filled with the smells of an apple pie baking in the oven.

“I got you some egg nog!” Justin said handing her a glass. “I may have spiked it a little…”

Even with that mischievous look on his face, she took a big gulp of it. “WHOA!”

“I warned you!” He laughed.

“Wow… you sure this isn’t a straight up vodka with a splash of egg nog?”

“It might be…” He shrugged his shoulder, handing her a Christmas bulb. “Be useful!”

She shook her head and smiled at him before placing it on the empty tree branch.

His family made her feel like she was one of them. They pulled her into all the activities from decorating the tree, to baking, to wrapping gifts to drop off at the children’s orphanage. She couldn’t remember a better Christmas, ever.

As they all crowded around the living room to open gifts, she sat on the seat of the piano, watching them from a distance.

“I was going to mail this to you...” Lynn handed her a beautifully wrapped gift.

Her eyes filled up with tears, “I don’t have gifts for anyone…”

Lynn cut her off, “You are here for the holiday, that’s enough of a gift for us. This holiday is about time.”

She looked over at Justin who was reading a card. He had a smile on his face that changed quickly into sadness washing over him as he read the words in front of him, which he quickly discarded, took a couple deep breathes and moved onto the next.

“For you.” Justin handed her an envelope.

She had to admit she was a little scared to think what he would possibly get her. She busted out laughing when she read the words, “Get out of the office when Justin is being an ass” certificates!  “I needed these last week!” She chuckled.

He agreed with her before handing her a big box. “This is your actual gift.”

Shocked she just looked at him.

“Open it!”

“Can I still use those certificates?” She asked.

He nodded his head, “You deserve those most of all.”

She ripped the paper off the box, revealing a box for peanut oil. She laughed and asked, “Seriously?”

“It’s for the peanut gallery! HA!” He couldn’t stop laughing at his self. “Open the box!”

She gasped when she sliced open the box and found the Canon 5D Mark III, she had wanted to purchase for quite some time but couldn’t afford the thousands that it was. She suddenly felt very guilty because she knows exactly how much that camera and the lenses cost. “Justin, I can’t… this is way too much money.”

“No returns. Merry Christmas.”

She wanted to cry. Her every emotion wanted to burst at the seams with tears.

The living room looked like Christmas had literally threw up everywhere with wrapping paper, and after helping clean up the mess she found herself back in the cold, watching the snow fall. Charli was counting her blessings that she was here in this place, in this moment, with these people. This truly was Christmas.

She heard the sniffles of someone else on the porch. She slowly walked towards the noise.

“You okay?” She asked when she saw Justin standing on the side of the house, wiping away tears that found their way down his cheeks. “I don’t know how much your family knows what is going on with your personal life, but…”

Justin kicked the snow off the porch, staring down not looking at her. He knew in the depths of him, she was right. “I can’t disappoint them. Not like this.” He finally whispered. “I have screwed so much of my life up…”

“Every person sitting in that room loves you.” She interrupted him, taking his shoulder and turning him back around to look at her. “You don’t have to tell them anything, they don’t already know. They just want you to be happy.”

“I got married because that’s what everyone does after eight years together with someone…” He turned and pointed towards the house, “They wanted that for me.” He grabbed his bottom lip with his teeth, “I was happy, I thought it was what I wanted… I did it for them.” 

“You know what you should do. It’s not fair to you or her.”

“I just need to catch my breath…” He placed his hands on the railing, forcing his face out into the falling snow, hoping to convince her that he was having a momentary over-reaction.

“It’s your life Justin, live it out how you see fit.” She huffed and shook her head at him. “A wise woman once told me that the fresh air won’t magically fix problems.”

“It’s not so easy to just walk away… she hasn’t cheated on me, I can’t use that as my reason for leaving.”

“What was in the card?” She asked, taking him by surprise.

“You saw that…?” he swallowed hard.

“I saw the pain wash all over your face.”

He slid the pale yellow envelope out of his back pocket, handing it to her. “Go ahead, read it.”

She removed the card, which had a picture of a mother and son sitting in front of a fully decorated Christmas tree, a photo she assumed was from Justin’s childhood. Inside there was no Hallmark greeting, just a short handwritten note from his mother.

“My son, my life, my heart… My Christmas wish is that I see the light back in your eyes. Be happy at all cost. – Mom”

Her heart ached for him. She knew the inner battle he was going through, it wasn’t easy. You make a promise to someone to live ‘happily ever after’ through the good times and the bad. But what is someone supposed to do when there are no more good times to account for? How much should someone have to endure before they decide it’s just worth the fight anymore?

“What do you want, what would make you happy?” She asked her boss, who was more of a friend than a superior in this very moment.

“I…I…” Justin stumbled with his words.

“Sometimes we have to take everyone else out of the situation and look at it from a selfish point of view.” She placed her hand over his, showing empathy for him. “It’s okay to choose yourself and choose your own version of happiness.”

With that, Charli found her way back into the kitchen and pouring herself a quite stiff drink. She helped Lynn refill the cookie trays and return them to the living room.

Cold fingers laces around her wrist and she was jolted back into the kitchen.

“Thank you.” Justin reached out his other hand and placed them over hers.

“People get divorced.” She lowered her head saying the word no one else seemed to be able to say to him. “People get happy.” She knew all too well how much of a burden that one single word can hold. Her decision didn’t come as a difficult choice for her, her husband cheated and that was something she couldn’t forgive him for. Her family thought she was jumping to a decision lightly and just wanted out.

“… Then what makes you happy?” He asked hoping she would find her own answers.

She smiled at him. “Being here. Being with a family that welcomed me with open arms, with no judgment. This is the real magic of Christmas. This is what a family is about. And they would be overjoyed with whatever decision you made.”