I'm not a scrooge. I swear I'm not but if I hear the Mariah Carey Christmas song one more time this season, I'm likely to go down to the radio station and strangle the programming manager.

It's not that it's a bad song, necessarily. It's actually pretty catchy. Fucking Mariah Carey and her "all I want for Christmas..." lyrics. As if I need to be reminded that the reason I am the way I am at the holidays is because of a certain someone. A certain someone who promised me over three Christmases ago that he'd always be there to meet me under the mistletoe; a certain someone who, for the past three Christmases, has not met me there.

Some promise, right?

I realize he has a life; I do. He's a celebrity, off gallivanting across the globe doing all kinds of great things. And I'm just...me. The same girl I was when we first met before all the fame and flashy things took over his life. Just some girl from his small hometown just outside of Memphis, Tennessee.   The same girl that he used to steal lunch from when we were in Middle School-but only because he liked my food better than his. The same girl who's first kiss was from him playing truth or dare at a party-and who he avoided the entire week after because it was so awkward. He's constantly surrounded by famous actresses and gorgeous models and linked to just as many of them. Sure, we'd grown up together, but...compared to all that I'm nothing special.

So why does it bother me so much that he's broken his promise to me?

 If I could answer that question honestly, I wouldn't be in this situation. And by this situation, I mean desperately awaiting his arrival to the Christmas party I throw every year-that I've thrown every year since my parents decided it was time to pass on the tradition.

If I could answer that question honestly I wouldn't be fretting over my appearance-worrying that my heels are too much or that my smokey-eye makeup is too dark.

Because if I was being honest with myself, I could admit that I've probably been in love with Justin Timberlake my whole life-and I hate myself for it.

*

~Three Christmases Ago~

 "It's you and me. You know that, right Ken?"

I bob my head "yes" in answer. It had always been him and me. His leaving me behind to go off and follow his dreams in Los Angeles wasn't going to change that at all.

At least that's what I'm telling myself to make everything ok.

But it's not. I can pretend for him, to his face, that it is; but when he's not around, I'm a mess.

"Kennedy-you're everything to me. If I could pack you up with all of my stuff and move you with me I would. I'd like to be selfish enough to tear you away from everything you have going here but I can't. I can't make you want my dreams when I know you have your own."

He's right. I know he is. And I can't stand it.

I don't have any words to respond back to fight him so I just sigh. "So...when do you leave?" I question flagging our bartender down from across the bar.

His eyes flick from my face and then to the bar and then back up again. "I've been trying to find a good time to tell you but..."

All of a sudden my stomach plummets to the floor. He's leaving me soon. The bartender takes my drink order and comes back with it before Justin's even answered me.

"I leave tomorrow."

I swallow thickly. Somehow I knew it. "Before or after the Christmas party?"

The label on his beer bottle holds his attention more than me at this moment and I grab his hand away from peeling it off. "Justin..."

He stops and turns towards me, his blue eyes betraying how he's really feeling right now-just as upset as I am if the shine in them is what I think it is.

"Can we just..." he begins, turning my hand over in his and holding it, his thumb rubbing over the top of my hand. "I want to enjoy my last night with you."

*

I think back to that night all the time. We'd drank too much at the bar and walked home in a near blizzard, sloppy drunk and laughing too loudly, tripping all over each other. We fell into too many snowbanks, made it home frozen and drowned from head to toe, and had fallen asleep by the fireplace, curled around one another on the couch. It was on that couch that I'd drunkenly admitted that I had a crush on him (like a schoolgirl), and he'd said he felt the same. Which only made the following morning that much more complicated and awkward.

I wake up just as entwined with him as I'd been when we landed on the couch the night before. The feeling that I wouldn't mind waking up next to him like this every morning flits through my mind.

He's warm and I'm comfortable, except for my hand being asleep where it's tucked under his left side. I want to move it but I'm afraid I'll wake him and I'm not ready to disentangle myself from him. "I'm up so you can stop contemplating whether or not moving would wake me up." He mumbles, his chest rumbling underneath my ear.

"Good morning." I say quietly, turning my face towards his to look at him. He smiles at me, his eyes squinting. "Hi."

"I don't really want to move just yet." I reply, snuggling back into him. His arms tighten around my waist and I take that as him not wanting to move, either.

I don't know how many minutes pass before he speaks again. "Kennedy, I meant what I said last night," sleep still in his voice as he attempts to shift his position on the couch. How the two of us managed to stay on the couch all night, I don't know.

"But it doesn't change anything, huh?" I ask.

With my head on his chest, I can feel him shake his head no. "You and I have so much ahead of us; let's just see what happens."

I can't help but be disappointed, like him moving away is his escape clause. Like maybe my feelings for him are a little bit deeper than the ones he has for me. It sucks.

We get up some time later and decide to just say good-bye now instead of drawing it out until he really leaves later on tonight.

We're standing in the archway between my living room and my kitchen, breakfast plates still on the table from earlier, and the silence is deafening. "I'll be back." He says, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me in close. I wrap my own around him and tuck my head under his chin-a spot that I've fit in perfectly since he hit his growth spurt in middle school.

"I know." My throat feels too tight but I will not cry in front of him. "And you can always visit."

I nod. "You'll be back for the holidays, too, right? Who else am I supposed to bribe with booze to help me throw this party every year?" I make an attempt at a joke to lighten the mood.

"You can count on it. I'll meet you right here..." he begins, then pulls back to look where we're standing-under mistletoe. Had that been there the whole time?

His mouth pulls into a smirk and I see his eyes darken. "Right here...every year." He adds.

All of a sudden I'm too hot and my chest is tight; though it's not from me holding back tears.

"Some spot to meet." I mumble.

"Indeed." That grin of his is growing and I could swear there are devil horns popping out of his curls.

"Justin, don't feel like you have to..." I start but he interrupts me with a finger to my lips. "What if I want to?"

My answer is cut short when his lips descend upon my own and I'm rocked to the core. His lips meld against mine perfectly and I'm lost in how soft they are. My lower lip is sucked between his and it takes everything in me not to groan when he swipes his tongue along it. I think my knees have turned to jello-it's a good thing he's got me so tightly in his arms or I'd collapse.

While we've had our share of kisses, this one is not only the icing but the whole cake. And definitely better than our first one ever was.

His fingers are fumbling with the hem of my tank top and I gasp when his hands meet the skin of my back. Our tongues tangle together and goosebumps cover my skin at the contact. I never want to stop kissing him but sooner or later one of us is going to need oxygen, though I don't plan to be the one to pull away.

My back hits something hard and it startles me enough to break apart from him to take inventory of where we'd ended up. In our heated exchange we'd somehow maneuvered into the kitchen and up against the refrigerator.

"Shit." Justin chuckles, slipping his hands from behind my back to cup my cheek.

"Sure beats truth or dare." I tease, poking him in the side.

"You're damn right." He leans down to kiss the end of my nose before straightening and catching my finger in his palm.

"So you promise you'll do that every year? Cause if that's what I have to look forward to..."

He nods. "I wouldn't miss it."

There's so much that both of us aren't saying but I wonder if it's better left unsaid for the time being. Anything else will just complicate things further. He was right when he'd said we both have so much ahead of us, but I want to be together when we're experiencing it.

He wraps me in his arms again for a giant bear hug that lasts forever, whispering "I'll miss you" into my ear before turns to head for the door.

"It's not forever." He says.

I know it's not forever but I feel like my heart is breaking.

*

~Two Christmases Ago~

"I'll be right back. I just need some air." I call out over my shoulder as I step out onto the patio that leads from my living room and plop down in the nearest chair. My party is a smash and all my friends seem to be enjoying themselves. I'd made enough spiked eggnog and punch to knock everyone on their asses so I'll probably have a full house tonight. Better to have it full of people than empty, which is what it'll be if Justin doesn't show up.

I hadn't heard yet either way if Justin was going to make it home but I'm here waiting. And hoping.

I'm not desperate at all.

I'm sitting on my front porch, shivering, watching the snow come down lightly. It's not likely to stick because it's warmer than usual but it's nice to look at. It's too quiet out here compared to the noise going on inside my place-or maybe that's the noise inside my head. I've got so many thoughts swirling around that I can't keep them straight lately.

Are Justin and I a couple? Are we just two friends who occasionally see each other and have a bad habit of getting drunk and waking up with one another? The lines between us that were once so defined are so crossed now that it's hard for me to know what's up and what's down.

And getting a straight answer from him is nearly impossible. All I hear is that if we put a label on things it'll just screw everything up, though I'm not sure what "everything" is.

My thoughts are finally interrupted when I hear the sliding glass door open and my best friend, Cami, comes into my line of sight. "Phones ringing." She says, thrusting my cell phone in front of my face.

I already know who it is without even looking at it. "Thanks."

"Don't be mad," is all he says when I answer.

"It's fine. You're busy. I was pretty much expecting it when your mom declined the invite." I'm trying my hardest not to sound upset but I don't know how believable I sound.

"It's not fine. I promised." It's apparent that he's upset that he's not here but with the ruckus I hear in the background, whatever he's doing can't be all that bad.

"Where are you?" I ask, unsure if I really want to know the answer.

"One of the girls from the movie had people over for a Christmas Eve party so I talked mom and dad into coming with. I figured I'd feel a little more in the Christmas spirit if I had them around, but having you here would've been better."

I can't stop myself from swooning over his words and the sweetness in his tone. "You know it's impossible for me to get away from the catering company during this season. They fall apart on me when it's not the busy season."

He snorts, knowing all too well the woes of my operating my own Catering business. "I know. It's just...Christmas isn't the same here. It's too warm and I miss the sometimes snowy winters. And I miss your Christmas tree. And your punch...God, that stuff is good."

"It's being consumed as we speak." I interject as I take a sip from the red solo cup full that I brought outside with me.

"And I miss our sing-a-longs..." he continues.

"What about me? Do you miss me?" The question tumbles past my lips and I find myself holding my breath as I wait for a response.

"I miss that mistletoe hanging in your archway...does that answer anything?" His voice drops low and the sound sends shivers down my spine. It takes a moment for me to recover and I can just barely hear him laughing over the line.

"I wish you were here." I sigh, leaning back into the chair and closing my eyes, trying to envision my night if he had shown up. It certainly wouldn't have been spent out here on my patio, alone, that's for sure.

"Me too. I really am sorry that I couldn't make it. But next year...I'll be there."

There's female laughter in the background on his end of the line and all I hear is "Justin, stop being such a party pooper and come join us in the hot tub."

Tilting my drink cup up to my lips I swallow what's left before crumpling it between my fingers and tossing it to the side. "I won't hold my breath." I mumble before I hang up without saying goodbye.

*

~One Christmas Ago~

I was seconds from calling off the Christmas party; my heart just wasn't in it this year. Actually, my heart hadn't been in the Christmas spirit at all this year. Usually, my Christmas tree and decorations go up the weekend before Thanksgiving. This year, however, it's four days before Christmas and I had just pulled out all of my decorations. I wasn't behind I just...wasn't feeling it.

But I knew that if I cancelled the party everyone would be disappointed and I'd never hear the end of it. So I'll put on my brave face and suffer through it.

"Do you need any help with drink or food prep?" Cami asks, her voice coming through the speaker on my iPhone.

"Cami, I do this for a living. I think I've got it." I reply, instantly regretting how I'd come across. "Sorry, that was mean. If you want to help out, I'd love it." I grab a tray of Bacon Wrapped Scallops from the counter and shove it into the cluttered mess that is my refrigerator.

"I know this is the last thing you feel like doing this year, what with Justin not coming, again...and that rumor about him and..."

"Cam-no offense, but you're not helping."

"Right. Sorry. I'll be over in 10."

"I'll be here. Doors open. I'll probably be elbow deep in cookie dough." Eyeing all the ingredients on my countertop, I think not for the first time, that for someone who's turned into such a scrooge, I have entirely too many Christmas sprinkles.

When Cami comes in ten minutes later like she'd said, she's carrying a package under her arm. I eye her suspiciously. "What's that?" I question.

She shrugs. "'Dunno. It was on your front door step. Didn't you hear a doorbell?" She sets it down on the table and comes to hug me, seemingly knowing it's what I need right now. It's in that moment I feel like I could fall apart. I didn't realize how in need of some kind of comfort I was.

It seemed the more time Justin was away, the further apart we grew and the less we talked. I mean, yeah, we kept in touch but...the calls were few and far between. To say I wasn't adjusting well to him being gone was an understatement. I guess when you come to rely on someone being there all the time it's rough when they're suddenly...not.

He'd been gone for almost two years...was I ever going to adjust? When was it time to stop hoping for him to come back?

"We can stand here as long as you need." She says into my hair, petting the back of my head lovingly.

Seriously, I don't know where I'd be without her. "I'm good!" I straighten and pull away, eyeing the foreign item on my table. "I don't remember hearing the doorbell; then again, I was blasting the Christmas station in an attempt to put myself in the mood. Does it say who it's from?"

Grabbing it from the table, she tosses it my way. "See for yourself."

Having my hands covered in flour, I rinse them in the sink and towel them off before reaching for the package again. It's addressed to me from exactly who I thought it was from. He'd said he was sending me something; though God only knows what it could be. I tear into the package, discarding the paper on the ground before it registers in my head what I'm holding. A mix CD of Christmas songs that we used to do sing-a-longs to at the party, with a picture of him dressed as Santa for the picture in the insert.

I open the case to find another picture, this time of him without the Santa jacket, wearing only the red fuzzy pants, a black belt, and a Santa hat. I swallow over the lump in my throat and hope that I can keep from groaning out loud. He'd signed the CD "From Santa" with a smiley face and I could just picture him in my mind, laughing as he put all this together.

"Am I supposed to find Santa sexy? Does that automatically put me on the naughty list?" I blurt out and Cami grabs the CD from out of my hands. "I think so, but I wouldn't judge you if you did." She agrees with a giggle.

"Shall I put it on?" She's heading to the CD player before I can give her an answer.

I finally get around to opening the card he'd sent with it and can't help but grin when a piece of mistletoe tumbles out from the envelope. "Save that for next time," was scrawled on the inside.

Hours later when everyone is at my place and enjoying the party, I get a text message from Justin apologizing again for not being here.

(J) I keep having to apologize for this. I don't like it.

                                (K) I got your package. Thanks for the visual ;)

(J) I'm glad. Hope it helped.

                                (K) It did.

(J) Did you keep the mistletoe for next year?

                                (K) What's the point? You won't be here...

I don't hear from him again until New Year's Eve when he calls to welcome me in to the New Year.

*

~This Christmas~

I told myself that this Christmas I was finally going to stop hoping and wishing that Justin would come back. Three years was too long to wait for a guy who has clearly moved on with his life. We still talked on the phone and we'd Skype occasionally while he was on a plane, jetting across the country for this appearance or that but it wasn't the same. I guess when you live that far apart without seeing each other very often, that's what happens. That saying "distance makes the heart grow fonder" is a load of crap. All that distance did to us was cause us to grow apart.

The tree was up and I was putting the finishing touches on the garland when the phone rang. Expecting it to be someone giving me an answer about their party invite, I ran for it and answered quickly.

All it took was one phone call to send my entire world spinning out of control like a top.

"Hello?" I answer before checking the caller ID.

"Hey, Kennedy." His smooth voice washes over me and I melt. I don't know how I'll ever stop that from happening. "So...are you still throwing that party tonight?" He questions, sounding unsure of himself. It's impossible not to get my hopes up. That one question sends them flying high.

I nearly drop the phone after I tell him that the party is indeed on.

"My flight's landing in a few hours. Stock up on the Whiskey."

I'm too rattled to really give any kind of coherent answer except to mumble an "I'm on it..." and a short "good-bye".

It's a good thing Cami is here working on making appetizers because I'm going to need all the help I can get. I walk into the kitchen and lean against the archway, looking every bit like a deer in the headlights. I feel breathless.

"You look like you're about to pass out." She observes, putting a tray of some kind of cheese onto the table. "You should probably sit."

I nod dumbly and flop down onto the bench against the wall.

"He's coming." I mutter, staring down at the table and reaching for a piece of cheese to pop into my mouth.

"Seriously?" She whirls around to face me with a grin on her face. "Why are you not more excited? We need to get you dressed!" Abandoning her chores in the kitchen, she whisks me up the steps to get me ready for the party.

*

Hours later, I find myself pacing in the front hallway, too nervous to join in on the festivities going on in my living room. I'd gotten a text from Justin that he was on his way to my house and I didn't know what to do with myself.

I thought for sure that whatever was going on between us when he'd first moved away was over now but the butterflies in my stomach tell me a different story.

I have five minutes to decide if I'm going to squash them or not.

"Kennedy, we need more eggnog." One of my friends pops her head into the hallway. "I kept the extra in the garage fridge. I'm on it." I reply, heading out towards the garage.

Just as I close the door I see headlights pull into the driveway and my stomach drops.

Perfect timing.

I try to busy myself in the fridge; to act like I wasn't just trying to find an excuse to go outside, and pull out a tray of cookies and the other carton of eggnog.

"Kennedy?" I hear his voice behind me even though I never heard his footsteps coming up the driveway, and freeze. "What're you doing out here?"

Words aren't coming to me and I'm all of a sudden a mute. Really? I haven't seen the guy in forever and I'm speechless? That's cool.

"Ran out of eggnog." I finally supply, standing up and closing the refrigerator door with my hip. That response was even less intelligent than me not saying anything. I should've just said "I carried a watermelon". 

I'm terrified to meet his eyes so I stare at a spot on the ground by his feet. "I uh...should get this inside." I hurriedly turn away and rush for the door.

"That's it?" he calls out, almost sounding upset that he hasn't gotten a warmer welcome from me. My resolve is crumbling quickly but I grab the door handle and open it for him before nodding my head to follow. "Gimme a hand?"

His feet move towards me and he's got the cookie tray out of my hands before I can blink. "Thanks."

The kitchen is surprisingly empty when we get there-everyone's already got all the food they could ever want set up in the dining room. He sets the cookie tray on the kitchen table and then corners me against the wall by the fridge.

"You know you're eventually going to have to talk to me." Both hands are on the wall beside my head and he's leaning in as close as he can to me. I take in a deep breath and my nose is instantly filled with his scent-something that has not changed at all in the time he's been gone.

"I'm going to need a shot." I try to duck under his arm to head to the pantry to get my bottle of whiskey but his arm grabs me around the waist before I can get past him.

"Nuh uh...no shot. Not yet at least."

His hold on me is strong so I give up and sag back against the wall. "Ken..." he whispers, one hand dragging up the length of my arm before he's lifting my chin up with it. Our eyes finally meet and my heart rate picks up so much I feel like it's going to beat out of my chest. I'd forgotten how powerful those eyes of his can be when we're this close.

"God, I've missed you." He mutters, wrapping his arms around my middle and pulling me to him. I fit there against him like I always have. It feels like home.

"I've missed you too." I mumble against his chest, squeezing his waist as tightly as I can-I don't want to let go.

"So you're not going to kick me out?"

I pull back a bit and stifle the smile I feel tugging at my lips. "Only if you're bad..."

He wiggles his eyebrows up and down and I giggle, the noise almost foreign sounding to my own ears.

"I definitely could be...where's that mistletoe?" I remove one arm from around his waist and point upwards. Without doing it intentionally, we'd found ourselves underneath it again.

"Well played." He says with a toothy smile, eyeing the greenery hanging above our heads. "I guess I should probably..." His eyelashes flutter and I know what's coming and I don't want to stop it so I stand and wait.

It feels like minutes pass before his lips finally close over mine and I'm not at all surprised that I feel like there's some kind of electric current running through my entire body when our lips move against each other's.

"JUSTIN!!!"

We quickly jump apart when a chorus erupts around us, everyone yelling his name to welcome him to the party.

Our lips are no longer touching but he's got my hand in his and he tugs me close to him and whispers in my ear "we'll continue this later." I'm pretty sure I'll have permanent goosebumps for the rest of the night.

Following everyone back into the living room, we join the rest of the party and Justin is instantly surrounded by old friends. I can tell that us getting any alone time to talk tonight is going to be impossible.

I try to busy myself and have fun with everyone but I always find myself searching for him in the room. And most of the time when my eyes find him, his blue eyes are already on me. Every time it happens I feel my heart leap in my chest.

I don't want to get ahead of myself and assume too much about the situation but it's so hard not to when he's looking at me like that. Like I'm the only girl in the room and the only girl in the world he wants to be next to right now. I can only hope that's what he feels because I know what I feel about him.

And it still terrifies me.

The two friends I'm talking to are behind the guys he's with, our backs are to each other, but he reaches back and searches for my hand, giving it a squeeze. It's that feeling of knowing when you're near each other and acknowledging that even though you're not together, you're still on each other's mind. I feel like I could go through my whole life like this with him. And not just in Memphis but wherever he needs me to be.

The thought sends me reeling and I excuse myself from my friends so that I can get some air.

The slider opens and closes within seconds of me coming out onto the patio and I feel him before I hear him. His arms circle my waist from behind and we stand like that for a few moments, taking everything in. I realize then that it's snowing-a perfect welcome home for him since he's missed it for so long.

He turns me in his arms to face him and we stare at one another. "You're really here." I breathe, unable to stop my eyes from raking over his entire body as he stands impossibly close to me. And it's a nice body...that smells really good. His scent surrounds me and attacks my senses and all I want to do is wrap myself up in it.

Suddenly, I realize how starved for his presence I actually am.

"Didn't I tell you I would be?" he asks, his brow creasing together in the middle.

Despite what I realized while inside the house, I want to laugh in his face and yell and scream at him that while he had told me that...it was almost four years ago that he had said it.

Instead I say "you made me wait" as I cross my arms over my chest and pout like a five year old.

A grin tugs at the corner of his lips and I want to smack it off his face. I hate that he's so cute.

"I never gave you a specific time, Ken, I just said that I'd be here."

Color me confused ‘cause he's lost me-or maybe all the eggnog taste-testing has finally gotten to my brain because my head feels fuzzy. His smile is back and I swoon, like I usually do when he shows me that smile that has always been reserved for me. He reaches up with his right hand and brushes the strands of hair away that have fallen from their clip and then leaves his hand tangled in the waves of hair behind my ear, his thumb lightly stroking behind it. What were we talking about again? Oh right-him being an asshole for making me wait so long for him. "But it was four years, Justin.  You do realize that, right?"

He straightens and drops his hand and I want to kick myself for saying anything and making him remove his hand from me. "I know." His bottom lip is caught between his teeth now and my eyes have a mind of their own as they zero in on it. "But...you're still here." Hadn't we already established this? That I'm completely desperate for him and willing to wait a lifetime until he shows up on my door?

It takes everything in me to keep my mouth shut because that is one thing that I will not, absolutely cannot, ever admit to him. But...something in the way he's staring at me makes my stomach drop to my feet because I recognize that look in his eyes. I've seen it enough times to know that I'm about to be in big trouble. "Why?" He questions, his voice soft, and I'm straining to hear him over the pounding of my heart in my ears.

I guess if we're going to have this conversation, now is as good a time as any.

I sigh, letting down every wall I've ever built around myself because frankly, I'm tired of wondering ‘what if'. "I've always been here, J. Don't you see that?"

He's quiet and studying me and it makes me nervous because I have absolutely no idea what he's thinking. "I think...I've always known it. But it seemed so much simpler to accept that we had different paths."

I'd probably kick myself in the morning for this one but if I didn't say it now I never would. "What if we don't, though?"

His brow furrows. "What do you mean?"

"I mean...what if I moved away? With you." My heart was beating so hard I was sure he could hear it.

"To Los Angeles?"

I nod, unable to say anything until he figures this out on his own. "You'd do that for me? What about your business? You can't...but...LA would be the perfect place for it. There are all kinds of people who I could put you in touch with..." He's rambling a mile a minute and I smother my grin.

"You love me, huh?" he asks, realization dawning on him at what I'm willing to do for him. I exhale shakily, my breath fogging the air in front of me. He's either going to go running for the hills or it'll be the best news he's ever heard. I'm hoping for the latter.

"I think...that you should probably come live with me in LA." My favorite smile spreads across his face as he looks down at me, his hand caressing my cheek tenderly.

"Really?" I ask, too caught up in how his eyes are sparkling as they flicker down to my lips and back up again. "Yes. Because I think that I'm tired of living without you and pretending that I haven't been in love with you my whole life."

Without thinking I throw myself at him, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He catches me but isn't steady enough on his feet and we go tumbling to the ground on a pile of snow, me landing on top of him. We're both laughing so hard we can't sit up and resign ourselves to being stuck in the pile of snow.

"So, no more Christmases spent apart?" I ask, finding a more comfortable position atop him where I can still look him in the eyes. I don't ever want to stop.

"Not if I can help it. I love you...God that feels good to say...I love you, Kennedy. I don't wanna spend another Christmas without you. They're kinda miserable."

Feeling there wasn't anything left for me to say, I let myself rest on him completely, in the snow pile, and pressed my lips to his, enjoying the difference between the warmth of his lips and the coldness on his cheeks. His arms wound around me, a hand working its way under the hem of my sweater and I hiss when his cold hand comes in contact with my warm skin.

I don't know how long we stayed outside like that, pressed against one another in every way we possibly could, but it didn't matter. What mattered was that he was here with me...just like I'd always wanted. I guess Santa had been listening to my wishes this year.