“I heard you’re on first roster tonight.”
I glance at him as I open my locker. Wade. He’s never spoken to me before tonight. “Yeah. That’s what Coach said.”
“Well just make sure you don’t get in my way, rookie,” He pulls his jersey over his head and walks away. “By the way, you’re late.”
I let out a long breath. Great. I’ve been a nervous wreck as it is, with such a big game hanging over my head. I’ve played in big arenas, but this is by far the biggest, and I’m first on the court tonight. I’ll be playing alongside some of the best in the business and normally I could handle that just fine. I mind my business and Lebron has warmed up to me a little more during practice. It’s only a matter of time before Wade gives in too.
I’m not even nervous about the game so much as I’m nervous about seeing her.
Adam is holding true to his promise. He called me and told me last night that he convinced Ellie to come. He said the rest is up to me, said they would see me after the game, and if she ran away, he wouldn’t be able to stop her.
I know it won’t be his fault, but I just want a chance to talk to her if nothing else. I want her to know that what happened…it didn’t make me think badly about her. What happened was humiliating and I would have given anything to help her through it. Thinking back, I don’t think she was ready to have me help her.
I wonder if she is now?
“Timberlake, get on the court.”
I look over my shoulder. The assistant coach is standing there impatiently. Apparently I’m the last of the bunch to go out for warm ups. “Coming.” I say it quickly and yank my jersey out of the locker. “I’m coming.”
“Be late again and it’s your ass.”
I’m literally three minutes past schedule, but here, they don’t care. They’ll fine you for anything and it’s something I’ve been warned about. I’ve been distracted though. I’ve been distracted since I saw Adam and that’s very bad. Shit, I have to focus. I can’t play badly tonight, no matter who is here, because this is my chance at becoming a real part of this team.
I strip out of my clothes and get into my uniform as fast as I can before running out to the court. Everyone is already there, on our end, warming up. Lebron stares at me as I start my basic stretches and I know he’s pissed.
Damn, it was three minutes.
I focus intensely on getting through the basics before I join the first roster at our designated basket. We take turns shooting from all different angles, and I try to see if I can spot Adam or Ellie at the same time. He told me they have court side tonight, so it shouldn’t be too hard, especially with Adam’s choice of clothing, but I never see them.
Maybe Ellie found out. Maybe they aren’t coming.
I take a deep breath. I can’t have it hanging over me tonight. I have to get through the game. I lose myself in warm ups until the buzzer sounds, and surprisingly enough, Lebron slaps my hand along with everyone else's and tells me to have a good game. I thank him, but he doesn’t acknowledge me, and Wade glares at me slightly before he retreats back to the locker room. I wipe the sweat from my forehead before I start to drag myself off the court as well.
And that’s when I see her.
They’ve just gotten here, that’s obvious, because they’re taking off their jackets and settling into their seats. I stop walking. I can’t move, all I can do is stare at her. She’s different. Her hair is done nicely, hanging in long loose curls that fall to her shoulders and she has makeup on for the first time ever. Her outfit is classy, a shorter skirt and a brightly colored dress shirt with matching scarf. It’s a different version of Ellie, a brand new one, that I’m sure Adam helped to create.
She’s beautiful.
At some point she must realize I’m staring at her, because she looks up, and her eyes meet mine. I can tell right away that she’s overwhelmed, and I’d give anything to be able to go over to her and tell her not to leave, that I need to talk to her.
“Timberlake! Get your butt in the locker room for the meeting!”
Shit. “Coming.” I wave at the assistant coach and after several grueling moments, I’m able to move my feet again. She doesn’t react. She just stares at me as I walk off the court.
I’ll be lucky if she’s still there once the game starts.
I have to stand there while the head Coach goes over our plan for the game, and I try my best to pay attention. It’s imperative that I pay attention because he’s having me lead the face off. Why the hell would he do that?
Oh wait, I’m supposed to be the best player that’s coming around in ten years, right.
Not tonight.
The buzzer sounds and we’re back out on the court within seconds. I’m directed to take a seat with the first roster, versus ‘rookie row’ as we so affectionately refer to it, and glance back to Ellie’s seat.
She’s still there, but she looks like she wants to run far away. I’m sure Adam is the only reason she hasn’t. He can be pretty persuasive…
But for an entire game?
I have a really shitty first two periods. As much as I try to keep my focus, I just can’t, and it throws my entire game off. We’re still in the lead, but barely. The other team is only trailing by ten. My coach is pissed. I missed a few things that shouldn’t have been a problem. I’m sure tomorrow I’ll be right back on rookie row, and he’ll pick someone else to take my spot.
r32;“What the hell was going on out there?” Coach snaps at me when we come back to the locker room for half time. “Your game was all over the place.”
I shrug, and squirt some water into my mouth. “I don’t know. I guess I wasn’t focusing.”
“Maybe I should just put Heller in for the rest of the game,” he says. “Since your focus isn’t here with us tonight.”
I sigh and rub my forehead. “I’m doing the best I can.”
“Give him a chance.” Lebron says, in passing. “The kid is having a rough first night.”
I stare at him, but again, he doesn’t acknowledge me. Does that mean he respects me?
“I’m giving you one more period,” Coach sneers. “Get your ass in line.”
He stalks away, and I make a beeline for the hallway. There’s all kinds of press swarming around, but since I’m barely a blip on the NBA radar, I escape easily, and I’m able to walk to the entranceway without any interruptions. I peer out, and I can still see her in her seat.
It’s now or never. She may have a pass to come back after the game, but I know she won’t. It’s up to me. I have to do this.
Because I love her.
*********
“I told you it’s not a big deal.” Adam shoves a handful of popcorn in his face. “He’s here, you’re here…what’s the problem?”
“You knew this was going to happen,” I mutter, doing my best to suppress my tears. “Adam, you knew it!”
“Calm down, sweetie,” Roger smiles. “I think it’s a good thing. You need to face this thing head on. It’s unChristmas. Everyone should get their wish.”
“What wish did I have to come here and see him…” I glance up, and see him appear on the court. He’s heading straight for us. “Oh God. We have to leave.”
“Would you relax.” Adam smirks. “You should be glad he’s coming over. Those last two periods were wretched. He had four penalties called on him. That’s what Roger said.”
“Hey Ellie.”
I never thought Adam would pull this, and when I saw Justin appear on the court for warm ups, I wanted to leave. I told Adam that, but he wouldn’t hear of it. He kept saying how this was Rogers unChristmas gift or something, and Roger kept on agreeing. r32;
He’s in on this too. They’ve been plotting this for awhile.
Jesus.
I do my best not to acknowledge him, but I fail miserably. My brain forces me to look up at him after a moment. He’s standing there with a nervous smile on his face, looking just…shit, as handsome as I’ve ever seen him. He’s a lot more toned and muscular, and I guess that’s because he has to work out non stop now. Still, he looks tired. I can’t imagine his agenda is any less grueling than Adam’s is. I hope whatever woman he met is helping him get accustomed to this crazy new lifestyle he’s made for himself. “Oh hi…hi Justin.”
He crouches down to meet my level, and I rear back in my seat. “I don’t have much time. Can you just stick around until the game is over?”
I squeeze my eyes shut. “I just…we’re…”
“I invited him to unChristmas,” Adam informs me brightly . “Either way, you’re stuck, because I’ll never let you live it down if you miss our unChristmas party, Justin. You might as well just say yes, El.”
My head snaps in his direction. “Are you kidding me?”r32;
He just laughs and puts an arm around Rogers shoulders. “Merry unChristmas!”
“I’d really like to talk,” Justin says gently. “If anything, you owe me that much, El.”
“I guess I don’t have a choice, do I?”
He smiles. “Thanks. I’ll see you later.”
He jogs off the court again. I glare at my brother. “I can’t believe you did this. I can’t believe either of you.”
“He walked into Claudio’s for a shoot and begged me to help him, El,” Adam says. “What was I supposed to do? He’s not a bad guy and I have no backbone when it comes to that sort of thing.”
“It won’t be that bad, El,” Roger reassures me. “It sounds like he just wants to talk to you. Maybe you can even cheer him on for the rest of the game. He needs all the help he can get tonight.”
“Why should I?”
“You pushed him out and he’s giving you another chance to clarify what happened,” Adam shoots at me. “You know, the guy is still in love with you. He wanted me to tell you that months ago, but you were in no condition to hear it.”
“What?”
Adam smirks. “Enjoy the game, dear.”
Justin loves me? I know that Adam wouldn’t lie, so what am I supposed to tell him? That I never really stopped having feelings for him? How can I say that, when I haven’t tried to contact him, when he called every hour on Christmas day and I ignored him? Adam and I had a long talk about it. He told me that I used Justin more than anything else. I was ashamed then, and after seeing him, I feel even worse.
I brood for a good fifteen minutes until the buzzer sounds again. The Knicks are announced back to the court and the crowd cheers, but I could care less. Then I see Justin’s team return, and he’s still on the court, so I guess his coach is giving him the benefit of the doubt. He positions himself off to the left for the face off, and casually glances back at me before the whistle blows, sending me that same smile that made me fall in love with him.
It’s like nothings changed.
I don’t know what to think.
The level of the game goes from mediocre to exciting once the whistle is blown. I watch Justin, and see that talent I remember from UCLA spring into action. He steals the ball, catches every pass, and assists some of the more seasoned players in sinking their baskets. When the fourth period begins, Miami is leading by thirty points, and that’s mostly thanks to Justin even though he won’t get the credit for any of it.
I can’t help but wonder if he started to play like that because he knows I’m going to be here when he’s finished.
I guess I never realized how much I meant to him. How much I make him come alive inside and forget everything and everyone else.
I realize that I never stopped loving him. I just suppressed it for all these months.
I want to tell him. I want to apologize and say I was wrong to push him away.
I hope he’ll let me. I hope he’ll give me another chance.
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