“Nikki stop! Please! I’m gonna die!” I was in the middle of the street holding my stomach. Nikki didn’t lie when she said she was gonna say anything funny she could remember in my ear. I couldn’t even walk right.
“Remember the episode of SNL that Justin was on? When he did the Barry Gibb Talk Show?” She knew I would be done if she did what I think she was gonna do.
“DON’T DO IT!!”
“I will ruin you!
I will ruin you!
I will ruu-uu-uuuuin yooooooooouuuu!!”
I, my friends, was done. I was crying from laughing so hard.
“Girls! Come say hi to Ms. Lynn!” My mom’s voice brought me back to reality. I was still smiling and laughing to myself.
Nikki and I walked up into this house and I saw a mass of blonde curls. Ms. MOTHERFUCKIN’ Lynn! Why did I not put two and two together? Ms. Lynn?? As in Justin Timberlake’s mama Ms. Lynn? Oh. Shit. If this is Ms. Lynn’s house than that means –
“Hi Sweetie!” She scooped me up in the biggest hug ever. “You must be Natalie! And you’re Monique.” Nikki nodded. I know she was thinking the same thing I was. “Aren’t y’all the prettiest little things?! Come in!”
Lo and Behold. I saw him. Mr. Justin ‘I’m fine as hell’ Timberlake. Standing in my presence. With all his fineness. I think I’m gonna die. I probably look like an asshole right now.
“Justin don’t be rude. This is Laura’s daughter Natalie and her friend Monique. Aren’t they cute?” His mom was just like my mom. Always making shit awkward. They’ll be bff’s in no time.
“Hi Natalie, how are you?” he said to me. To me! What the hell was I supposed to do? Okay. Act natural. Be normal.
“I’m fine.” and so are you. “You can call me Nat though and this is my friend Nikki.”
“I don’t see no titties shakin’” Nikki whispered in my ear. I hate her a whole lot.
“Nat and Nikki. Cool. This is my boy Trace.” Of course I knew who he was. I’ve only loved you for 10 years.
“Nice to meet you.” I smiled shaking his hand. I think I got this. As long as I didn’t have to talk or anything. I hope my mom is done talking so we can get the hell out of here.
“Justin, I’m gonna give Laura a tour of the house.” Lynn said. I hope she asks me and Nikki to come too. “Nikki and Nat you guys can wait for us in here.” Damn! Damn! DAMN!!
We all sat in silence for a minute or two. This has to be the longest minute of my life. Why won’t someone say anything??
“Hey Justin. Nat loves you.” Anything but that. Can’t tell people ANYTHING nowadays. Why did she have to blow up my spot? This was not the way I was supposed to meet him. I was supposed to look fly and my hair was supposed to be done. I still had on stupid shorts and a shirt and my hair in a ponytail from moving shit. I wish I was Alex Mack so I could just turn into a puddle and leave.
Justin looked surprised. I guess he didn’t expect us to be fans. I had to change this around somehow.
“Well I mean…we love your music. Your album is really good.” Maybe he’d buy that.
“Noooo…I mean she loooooves - ” I dug my nails into Nikki’s arm
“NSYNC!! I really do. I miss NSync…really bad.” Nikki is going to die when we get out of here.
“Oh okay.” He bought it. Dumbass. “Sooo…where are you guys from?”
“New Jersey”
“Cool.”
More silence. Shouldn’t he be used to talking to people? What the hell was he looking at? Why can’t he continue the conversation? And why the hell was Trace just standing there smiling? WHERE IS MY MOM?
“You guys are boring!” Nikki. Tact is not her forte.
“Boring?!” Trace and Justin both answered.
“Yes boring. We’re just sitting here listening to each other breathe. Come on! Do something Superstar. Entertain us.” Oh no she didn’t.
“I entertain people every day.”
“So today should be no different.” Oh yes she did.
“She’s got a point.” Trace said. Justin looked really uneasy. It was kinda cute actually. Why would he be nervous to do something in front of a couple people? Maybe I could save him or something.
“Okay…well today you can have a break. Nikki’s just messing with you.” I knew she wasn’t but I felt bad for him. He looked like he was gonna barf a little. “So what do y’all do for fun out here?” Great subject change Nat.
They both thought about it for a second. “Well…there’s Beale Street” Trace said.
“And that would be…”
“It has a shitload of clubs and stuff.”
“Oh…I kinda hate clubs.” I really didn’t mean to say that but it was true.
“Why?” Justin looked surprised at my response.
“Because people like to touch people too much at clubs. Guys always try to be slick and get their feels off when walking through the club.” Then I had to do a demonstration. Y’all know what I’m talking about. When guys put their hand on your waist/butt/whatever else and say “Excuse me.” I hate that.
They were laughing at me.
“I’m dead ass serious. Don’t laugh.” Even though I was laughing already. “Why do y’all do that?”
“I don’t do that.” Justin said.
“I do.”
“Of course you would Trace…of course you would.” I said shaking my head.
My mom and Ms. Lynn were coming down the stairs thank God.
“Okay. It was so nice having you stop by!” I heard her say to my mom. YES! That meant it was time to go.
“Well…it’s been real guys. Peace up. A-Town down.” Nikki said.
“It was nice meeting you Ms. Lynn.” I smiled as I slowly made my way to the door.
“You too sweetie! Have y’all finished moving all your stuff inside?”
“Nope we have some more stuff but we’ll do it tomorrow.”
“Oh well I’m sure Justin and Trace will be willing to help y’all out.” Whaaaaa?
“Sure we’d love to.” Trace said.
“Okay then it’s settled then! Have a good evening ladies.”
“Thanks, you too!”
What the fuck. I looked at Nikki who was just amused by the entire thing.
“What, pray tell, is so funny?”
“Justin liiiiiiikes you.”
“No he doesn’t. Where’d you get that from?”
“Trust me babe. I know.”
Justin couldn’t like me. He wasn’t real. I mean…he is real he’s just famous therefore he’s not real. And plus he has millions of girls he could like why me? But what if he does like me?
“What am I gonna wear tomorrow Nikki?!?!”
