Since the night of my party, a week and three days had gone by. ...I only provide this otherwise superfluous detail because I hadn't been able to get JC out of my mind since that night. Having seen him for the first time in person after so long, and then the timing finally being right, it was overwhelming. It was also incredibly exhausting. I didn't know how to make a clear understanding of what JC was wanting to get from the date we were going on. He said I didn't have to give it a name, but he also said he knew we couldn't pick up where we left off. Did he want to? And how could we, we never really had anywhere to pick up from.
Whatever, I can't beat myself up over this. I exited the bathroom, with my towel wrapped around my body as I quickly hurried into my bedroom. As I was putting lotion on my skin, I heard my doorbell go off. I quickly shimmied into some leggings, threw on a big t-shirt, and stuck my cold feet into warm, black socks. Not even bothering about my hair still being wet, I ran to the door, peeping out my side window to see who it was. Hmm, I could easily make out Celeste, but who the hell did she have with her? I opened the door and immediately laughed at myself for being the intelligent person I was. It was Justin she brought along. I don't know who else I thought it was, she wouldn't bring a stranger to my house unannounced. Duh.
"Uh...that's not weird at all," Celeste said as she walked in.
I hugged Justin and closed the door after releasing him.
"I laughed because I couldn't see who you had with you. It didn't cross my mind that it could be J," I shrugged.
"When have I ever brought a guy you didn't know? Anyway, how have you been? We haven't spoken since the party," Celeste asked while she and Justin were making themselves comfortable in the living room.
I sat down in my favorite armchair. "I'm good."
"You know, it'a risky to lie to one person who knows you like the back of her hand, but to lie to two?" Celeste teased.
"Hey, what's that supposed to mean?" I frowned.
"It means you suck at lying to people who know when you're not okay," Justin answered.
"Normally, I would fight you both on this, but I don't even care. It's been 102.JC for eleven days, and I am not okay," I admitted. Celeste's eyes began to sparkle. She thoroughly enjoyed seeing me in these kinds of states. It's probably written in her will that her wish is for people to know that I'm a hopeless romantic. I have got to burn that will.
"Wait, what's that look? Why does Cel have that look and I don't?" Justin asked.
"Because she thinks I'm all lovebirds and heart-shaped roses right now, and I'm not," I explained.
"Justin, you may or may not know, but someone in here still loves JC," Celeste added.
"Well I do miss hanging out with him, but I don't think it's love," Justin said.
I snickered. Cel smacked his knee. "You know I'm not talking about you, dork."
He grinned. "I had already asked Zee if she was still in love with him and she told me she didn't know. You've been thinking about him all the time, do you still not know?"
"It's complicated," I answered. Then ensued the sucking of teeth. "Look, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I can't walk around thinking JC still feels the same way about me, if he feels anything at all."
"He asked you out, correct?" Celeste asked. I nodded reluctantly. She was going to make a point now, wasn't she? "Then he wants to reconnect with you, he wants to try things again. Does he have to say it for you to get it?"
I cleared my throat. "Uh...well, he sort of did say it?"
"Yeah, we're done here," Justin joked.
"I'm sorry, I just...I'm scared. JC and I have been through a lot, you know with sex and pregnancy. I--"
"WHAT?!?! Waiiiiiiit a minute! Pregnancy? What pregnancy?" Justin cried out.
Ohhh crap. I never did tell him about my pregnancy, did I? And it's been so many years. Holy shit. Justin's eyes were darting back and forth between Celeste and I. Oh he wanted answers and he wanted them now.
"I never got a chance to tell you, but, Challenge For The Children in Vegas...2001. You know, when you "accidentally" stuck JC and I in a room together?" He scratched the back of his head, looking away with a whistle. "Well....we tried not to go that route. You know JC and I vowed to be civil 750 times and failed before so I don't know why we tried in Vegas. Point being...we got caught up and didn't use protection."
I lifted up my shirt, and pulled down my leggings to expose my hipbone where the tattoo I had for Skylar was. Justin was just shocked at first, and then he looked solemn. I didn't know what to peg his emotions at that moment.
"I'm so sorry you went through that. I wish you would have let me be there for you, too, Zee, seriously," he said. I smiled. Aww, my Justin.
"Thank you...I wish that, too."
I didn't expect such a calm and rational response...? I thought he'd at least be a little angry with me because he was the only one out of the four us who didn't know. Maybe we all did grow up and mature in the years. He did seem very genuine in his words though. And although the time and my mind frame back then was long gone, it did touch me to hear that support from him. It let me know that no matter what had happened, he was willing to be there for me if I let him.
"Oh my gosh guys, I can't afford to cry right now, you know how long this smoky eye makeup took?" Celeste said, fanning her face rapidly.
I rolled my eyes. I admit, the reason I never told Justin was because I knew he would have been hurt and upset then. Especially since he was confused about a lot of things happening during that time. I didn't want to bring him anymore pain, no more betrayal. I was too selfish to lose him. Especially at that time where I was on the verge of losing JC, too.
"Maybe I'll get another niece or nephew sometime soon....," Justin stated.
"From whom?" I asked.
"You and JC, duh. We all know you two have the sex drive of pubescent teenagers. If you can make it out of the date with your clothes on, it'd be shocking but disappointing. Papa J wants some kids to spoil that aren't his."
I shoved his shoulder. "Okay, first off, rude. JC and myself are adults now, okay. We can't just do it all willy nilly," I said.
"Come on now, Zee...twenty years away from each other and you guys could still light each other's fires with a cough," Celeste joked.
"Oh both of you can go to hell," I laughed.
Justin pat my shoulder gently. "Seriously though, be honest with each other on this date. Don't let it go to waste, Zahra, anything can happen."
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