Chapter 9 – Maybe It Is A Bad Thing... (Part One)

“Whose idea of a joke was this?”

Chris looked at the guys, all of them looking uncomfortably at him as he held the paper in his one free hand that wasn't supporting himself with the crutch.

“Who the hell thought it would be fun to put me through this on national TV?”

When they had given him his copy of the written schedule for their appearance on The Tonight Show that night, they knew he wouldn't be pleased...but they had no idea he would be pissed.

“Not only do I have to perform 'Not A Bad Thing' tonight, but it's gonna be the next fucking single?” he asked.

“It was...uh...Johnny's idea,” JC said softly, running a hand through his hair. “Justin can sing lead tonight, if you can't do it, Chris.” His frown grew deeper when Chris's eyes narrowed. “It was just an idea...”

“Anymore brilliant ideas you have, C?” Chris asked. “Any of you? Let's just brain storm while we're here. Someone want to gut me while we're on stage? Anyone have a prop gun to shoot me with? Or better yet, a real one? It might be a damn improvement...”

He balled up the paper in his hand, shaking his head quickly and holding his hand up when Lance tried to speak.

“I know,” he said. “'Chris, you're being unreasonable. Cheer up. Come on man, things aren't that bad.' What the fuck else is new.” He pulled his sunglasses down to stare at each of them. “The only one of you that even possibly knows how I feel right now is Lance. And all I want to do now is go sing this fucking song and get it over with. I'll be in my hotel room, drowning myself.”

“How much longer until he loses his mind?” Joey muttered as they watched Chris limp off toward his own room.

“I've got a hundred on 7pm,” Justin replied.

“That's only a few hours away,” JC pointed out. “Give him a break.”

“I did,” Justin said. “I almost said five minutes.”

Lance fought back a chuckle. He might have laughed if it wasn't so serious. They all missed the old Chris. The one who played practical jokes and was happy. He looked over at Joey and ran his hand over where Chris's chair was.

“This is not the Chris Kirkpatrick you are looking for,” he said in his best Obi Wan Kenobi voice.

“He has went to the Dark Side of the Force,” Joey replied, giving his friend a small smile as they followed slowly behind Chris.

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“Are you...stressed?”

Adeline glanced over at Stephanie, cutting her eyes upward angrily. She forgot Stephanie had been watching her the whole time she rummaged through bags, frustrated.

“Chris has a busted knee, Lance just got over a bad cold, the boys have to rework their entire choreo routine because of Chris's dancing restrictions, which Justin's not too thrilled about because now he doesn't get to watch Courtney shake her money-maker all over the dance floor.” She took a breath. “Liam decided to play 'Hide The Sock Monkey From Mom' and somewhere in this sixteen months of his life he's gotten really good at it. But then he realizes at nap time that he loves that sock monkey more than life itself and he absolutely can't sleep without it...”

“Breathe in, breathe out,” Stephanie said slowly, motioning slow, deep breaths with her hand. “Feel the air flowing through your lungs, young grasshopper, before one more of the NSYNC crew is warming the bench.”

Stephanie smiled as she looked to her left, looking down at the floor beside the hotel chair she was sitting in. She reached down, holding up the sock monkey at eye level.

“Don't die, Adeline,” she said in a shrill, baby-like voice, moving the monkey to mimic it talking. “Who would keep Tiny from killing Justin and hiding the body? We neeeeeeeed you...”

“Ugh, give me that stupid thing,” Adeline said, ripping the stuffed toy from Stephanie's hands as she chuckled. “He carts this thing around everywhere. God only knows what kind of germs this thing is currently cultivating.”

“Kids are germ magnets anyway,” Stephanie said. “One kid in their class comes to school with a sniffle and they pick up meningitis, or RSV, or E coli...”

“Yeah, thanks for settling my paranoia,” Addy said, handing the monkey to Liam as he laid on the bed, his eyes fixated on Spongebob on the TV. “I appreciate it.”

“No problem. So when are you going to try to have another mini Lance?”

“I swear to God,” Addy said, “if one more person on this tour asks me that, I'll go supersonic with the pyrotechnics and turn the whole arena into a fucking Fourth of July show.”

Stephanie's eyes went wide. “Wow. That sounds violent, and painful, and not at all like the Adeline that I know...which makes me think that something is up.”

“Nothing's--”

“Don't lie to me,” Stephanie interrupted. “Do not lie straight to my face. It's insulting. I've known you since we were both little girls and I know you better than I know myself.”

Adeline sighed, frustrated. “What makes you think that we haven't already been trying?”

“Uh oh,” Stephanie said. “Problems?”

“When your husband is a world-famous pop star, it ain't easy,” Adeline responded, piling clothes back into the suitcase she had just torn apart.

“How long?”

“A year now.”

“Have you thought about going to the doctor?”

“What are they going to tell me?” Addy asked. “I'm a medical fucking mystery as it is, Steph. Not one doctor can tell me why my daughter died. Not one doctor can explain how I was able to even carry Liam a full almost nine months afterward. It just happens they say, which is actually really insulting – my daughter dying just 'happened'? It's like someone saying John F. Kennedy was 'just' assassinated.”

“Well, they can do more tests, right?” Stephanie asked. “I mean, don't they have doctors especially for this?”

“Reproductive Endocrinologists,” Addy said. “Yes. You go in, you get poked with half a million needles, they take more blood from you than a vampire, and then it's a crap shoot whether they can tell you anything. Lance and I would have a better shot flipping a coin.”

“A crap shoot is better than nothing though, right? To find out what's going on...down...there?”

Adeline scoffed when Stephanie pointed towards her torso.

“What's going on down here,” she said, circling a finger around her stomach, “is that my uterus and fallopian tubes are less predictable than a Magic 8 Ball. 'Reply hazy; ask again next month.'”

“But isn't it fun trying?” Stephanie said with a smile.

“Yeah, uh...not so much anymore,” Addy said, scrunching up her nose. “When your husband walks in unshowered from a two-hour long show and takes off his shirt and says 'Let's get this over with so I can sleep', it kind of kills the romance.”

“One – ewww. He could at least shower,” Stephanie said. “Two – Addy, sweetheart, you gotta put some romance back into it. Some va-va-va-voom.”

“Va-va-va-voom?” Adeline questioned. “Should I fit the va-va-va-voom between tonight's late show appearance and the show in Raleigh in two days? Or should I pull him aside during tomorrow's radio appearance and attack him in the soundproof booth?”

“You joke,” Stephanie said, “but that's not a bad idea.”

“Steph,” Addy said with a chuckle, shaking her head. “Face it. There's no va-va-va-voom when you're trying to have a baby. You would think there would be, but there's not. Between 'Hey honey, I'm ovulating' and 'Don't move for ten minutes, the swimmers might get confused', the sexiness is lost in translation.”

“Did he really say that?” Stephanie said with a laugh. “Was he sick the day they taught sex ed?”

Adeline couldn't help but laugh out loud for the first time in several days.

“I might as well face it,” she said when their laughter died down. “I have one beautiful, sweet baby boy, and I'm lucky to have him.” She glanced over at Liam, whose eyes were becoming heavy as he clutched his monkey. “Super lucky to have him. My time is over; he's the only child we're going to have. Lance and I have our son to hold in our arms, and our daughter to hold in our hearts – and that's it.”

Stephanie sighed.

“Where's that nanny girl?” she asked, abruptly standing from the chair and walking over to Liam. She picked him up quickly but gently, his eyes opening slightly.

“Jessie's downstairs in the gym,” Adeline asked, narrowing her eyes as she watched Stephanie flit to the diaper bag. “Why? What are you doing, crazy lady?”

“You and I are going shopping,” she said, looking at her friend. “Come on.”

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“When you said shopping...” Adeline said, her voice trailing off. “...I thought you meant like, Bloomingdale's, or the Gap, or Macy's or something. I'm almost certain that isn't a Macy's.”

She glanced up at the large sign over the store entrance – Fredrick's of Hollywood.

“Lord have mercy,” she said. “Steph, I can't do this.”

“Think of it as a Macy's, but for career women of the erotic persuasion,” Stephanie said.

“Oh okay, that helps,” Adeline said, nodding. “Totally no embarrassment or anxiety now.”

“You'll be fine once you get in there,” Stephanie said. “You'll be laughing too hard to be embarrassed. You'd be surprised what you'll find in there.”

“Pretty sure I won't,” Adeline said. “Let's just go get a pretzel, treat ourselves to an Orange Julius, call this a lost day, and forget that we ever almost did this.”

“Adeline James,” Stephanie said, feigning an authoritative voice. “You are going in that store, you are going to pick out something nice and black and sexy and maybe even a little slutty for you to wear in front of your husband, and you guys are going to make a damned baby.”

Adeline couldn't help the smile that broke out. “Weirdest pep talk ever.”

“Come on!”

Adeline grunted as Stephanie grabbed her arm forcefully, pulling her inside the store. She could have cringed the moment her foot set in the store. She felt her cheeks flush and her stomach flip-flop, looking around and seeing the racks full of lace and multiple “sexy” colors of black, white, red, pink and blue.

“What does Lance like?” Stephanie said, immediately taking a few steps forward and pulling Adeline with her. “Is he a lace man, or does he like things more see-through?”

“I don't know what Lance likes, but I generally like clothing covering me,” Adeline said.

“Oh would you get over it?” Stephanie asked, turning to her. “I know it's not your usual 'thing', okay? But you said yourself, it's boring. There's no more romance. It's a chore, and it's something that neither of you want to do. There's too much pressure. Pressure has no place in sex or a marriage. You have to take the pressure off. Change it up a little and make it interesting again. Give him something good to look at, Addy. He thinks you're sexy as it is – but when he walks in the room and sees you wearing something like this...”

Stephanie turned, picking up the nearest hanger from the rack next to her, holding up the lacy black bustier, complete with garter belt.

“...I guarantee he will not only shower first, but he will not be able to keep his hands off you.”

“Is that crotchless?” Adeline said with a slight grimace.

“Addy...”

“Fine,” Addy said with a slight growl. “But not that one. I'm on tour with five other men – I'd like all surfaces of the skin that I could get arrested for showing in public, not showing, thank you very much.”

Stephanie smiled and put the hanger back on the rack, putting her hands together in a clap.

“Yay, let's go look at teddies. No, no...corsets!”

“God give me mental strength today,” Addy said, lifting her eyes toward the ceiling in a small prayer as Stephanie grabbed her hand and pulled her further into the store.

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Adeline sat with Liam in the hotel room, watching the television and waiting for the guys appearance on the show. Stephanie had opted to go out and do more shopping, this time with Courtney. She was happy just to stay in the hotel and not be on the bus for a couple days. As much as she loved touring and being with everyone, it was nice to have a couple days without someone 'right there'.

And as much as she liked it, she was sure the guys were glad too. No one was fighting, but it would be good for each man to have some time to themselves. She was sure that was different now that they were older. They all still had their own lives, and as close as they were, it helped to separate from each other now and then.

“Ris...Dadddda,” Liam babbled and clapped, giggling and pointing at the TV as the guys made their entrance. “C...Jus'n...Joe...” He named them all off and clapped again. “Hi hi hi.”

Adeline smiled.

“They can't hear you, baby,” she told Liam, who shook his head and then put a finger to his lips in a 'shhh' gesture. That made her smile again. Lance always did that before they would sing so Liam would be sure to listen.

She put her finger up to her mouth and made the same 'shhh' gesture, letting her mind wander.

“Bwahahaha...”

“Justin...Randall...Timberlake...I will KILL YOU!”

Justin took off, the water gun in hand like a machine gun, as Adeline shook the water off her shirt and started chasing after him.

“You'll never get me alive, copper!” he yelled, taking off with the water gun through the patio door to the outside.

“Do I kill him quickly and grant him mercy, or do I make it slow and painful?” Addy asked, stopping and watching as he shut the patio door quickly, teasing her behind the glass door.

“Forget him,” Mel said. “It's two degrees outside. Let him freeze to death out there.”

“Good plan,” Addy said, giving Justin a small smile before she reached to the door and flipped the switch, locking him out. She laughed as she watched his face turn from amused to worried.

“Hey!” he said, his voice slightly muffled by the glass. “Addy, come on! I was just playin' with ya. Let me in!”

“You're on your own, Timberass,” she said.

“It's cold out here!” he said, trying to pull the door open. “Lance! Buddy! Friend, pal...let me in, please?”

“Busy,” Lance said, raising his voice. “Liam...look at daddy. Say 'bye bye bye'.”

Adeline looked at her son, who turned one year old today, sitting in the high chair in front of his dad and Melissa.

“Why are you trying to teach him that?” she asked.

“It's his first words,” Lance said. “I want to make them count. He can say mama and dada, he's one step from bye bye, and it's only an extra word.”

“Plus, it's funny,” Melissa said.

“That too,” Lance said.

“Li-Li,” Melissa cooed. “Say...bye bye! Bye bye!”

Adeline watched as Melissa made 'bye bye' motions with her hand.

“You two look utterly ridiculous right now,” she said.

“Bye bye bye,” Lance said. “Come on, Li...say it.”

“You guys do realize that he's not a dog that you can teach to bark on command, right?” Chris asked. “Try giving him a dog biscuit – maybe he'll roll over!”

“Shut up, old man,” Lance said. “Li, say 'bye bye bye, Uncle Chris, get out of daddy's house'.”

“Bah,” Liam said.

“Liam, you're so close,” Melissa said. “Say 'bye bye bye'.”

“Bah bah?” Liam said, looking at her.

“No, baby, bye bye bye,” she said. “Bye bye bye.”

“Maybe they should break out into the dance,” Chris said quietly, glancing over at Addy, who chuckled.

“Bah bah...bah,” Liam babbled.

“Ha ha HA!” Lance said in victory to Joey, who sat next to him. “We got him to say it. You owe me ten bucks.”

“Damn it,” Joey said, reaching into his wallet.

“Why don't you hang our son from the mobile above his crib, Lance?” Adeline asked. “Then he can really be like daddy.”

“Hater,” Lance said, snubbing his nose up to her.

She had thought it was so ridiculous at the time for him and Melissa to try so hard to get Liam to say the words. Together, the two of them had spent a ludicrous two weeks working with him and trying to get him to say 'bye bye bye' on command. She rolled her eyes and let them do as they pleased – after all, nobody was getting hurt or killed.

Now, she wished she had Melissa around to teach her son all those things – all those silly, stupid, and yet adorable things that the two of them – Lance and Melissa, partners in crime – tried to get him to do, like saying 'bye bye bye' and making him jump and clap wildly when his Uncle Chris would yell “Hey, ladies!”

“Mama,” Liam babbled, and pointed to the TV screen. “Dada.”

“Yeah, daddy's on TV, isn't he Li?” she said. “Isn't it cool?”

“Ris,” Liam said, pointing to the TV again as the camera cut to Chris.

“Yeah, Uncle Chris too,” she said.

“Ris saaa.”

“Uncle Chris is sad?” she asked. “You think Uncle Chris is sad, Li? Why is Chris sad?”

“No Me,” Liam said, pointing to the sock monkey. “No Me.”

Addy couldn't stop the frown from her face. Even her one-year-old son was intuitive enough to notice that Melissa was gone, and was missed.

“No Mel,” she said sadly.

“Kiss mama,” Liam said, looking up.

“You wanna give mama a kiss?” she said. “Come here baby boy.”

Her sadness quickly disappeared as Liam crawled over, climbing on top of her and gave her a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss.

“Liam,” she said as she giggled. “Liam, once again your daddy is a bad influence.”

She picked him up off her and turned him so that his back was on the bed, leaning down to him to lift up his shirt and blow raspberries on his stomach. She smiled as she heard him laugh wildly, squirming underneath her.

She was grateful for everything life had given her – even though she was sad that her best friend couldn't be here to see it.