It took five minutes of splashing water on his face to get the bleeding to die down. Lance pulled his phone out of his pocket and was greeted to six texts from Tyler, the first four of which were insults, and the latter of which were pleas to “try to work things out.”

Mumbling something incomprehensible, Lance tossed his phone onto his nightstand and fell into bed. His house was a mess; he had neglected hiring a new assistant despite his obvious need for one. Now that things between him and Tyler appeared to be over, he saw even less of a reason to. At least he could blame his poor organization on the fact that he was wallowing in sadness.

Lance shut his eyes, trying to block out any memories of Tyler. I shouldn’t have walked out like that. Why the hell did I throw that vase? Why the hell did I break up with him? He apologized. Forgive and forget, right?

His eyes started to sting, but he blamed it on his lack of sleep from the night before. There was no way he was crying over this now, especially not after what Tyler had done.

But what about you? he asked himself. Throwing and breaking things doesn’t constitute being a good boyfriend. This can’t just be one person’s fault.

Lance heard his phone ring, but decided to ignore it. It was probably Tyler, and he wasn’t willing to put up with the insults that were sure to result. About ten minutes later, the phone rang a second time. By the third ring, Lance had fallen into a fitful sleep.

He was startled awake by his phone ringing yet again, and this time it seemed louder than before. Pain shot through his head, forcing tears to spring to his eyes. He glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand-6:45. He had been asleep for three hours. Joy. Grabbing his phone, he hit “decline” without even bothering to check the caller ID. Lying back down, he threw an arm over his eyes and sighed. This was not the way he planned this day to go. He knew Tyler was hardheaded, but he didn’t expect this. The whole hitting fiasco was mild compared to some of their other incidents, but the timing of it was slightly shocking, to say the least.

His phone went off again, and he swore under his breath. “Would you freaking shut up?” he mumbled, reaching for his phone to once again decline the call. Looking at the caller ID, he realized it was Joey, not Tyler.

Damn, I told Joey I would call him back hours ago, he recalled. Well, this day just keeps getting better and better.

“Hello?” he whispered, finally answering.

“Lance, what the hell? I’ve called you probably ten times in the last few hours. You said you would call back.”

“I know,” he said, his voice uncharacteristically small. “I forgot.”

“Yeah, I realized. Justin’s been trying to call you, too. He told me you weren’t picking up his calls either.”

“I was asleep.” His voice sounded pathetic, and he was well aware of it.

“Hey, are you okay?” Joey asked, his tone softening. “You sound upset or something.”

Or something, Lance thought. “I’m a little messed up right now.”

“Is this about Tyler?”

Lance cringed at hearing his ex-boyfriend’s name. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Joey sighed. “You realize that you have to talk about it at some point, right? I know you’ve been lying when you say he’s not all that bad. He doesn’t have one nice thing to say about you in public. This should be sending you red flags.”

“Thanks for the relationship advice,” Lance muttered. “but I don’t think I’ll need it. Tyler and I are done.”

Joey was quiet for a second. “Wait, you actually broke up with him?”

Lance sighed. “Pretty unceremoniously, but yeah.”

“So you’re okay? I mean, you know this is a good decision, right?”

Lance shrugged, although he knew Joey couldn’t see it. “He wasn’t the only issue in the relationship, Joey. I freaking threw a vase at him today.”

Joey fell quiet for what seemed like hours. “You’re not usually that…violent. What happened?”

Lance felt himself starting to break into a sweat. “Nothing. It’s not a big deal.”

“Are you sure? This doesn’t really seem like you.”

“He hit me, Joey.” The minute he said it, he regretted it. This was personal, and nobody had to know about it.

“Wait, what?” Joey asked, obviously not registering what he had just been told.

“He hit me,” Lance admitted again. “I shouldn’t be telling you this. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“What do you mean ‘you shouldn’t be telling me this’? You’re joking, right? This guy hits you, and you’re keeping this to yourself?”

“I just don’t want people getting the wrong picture.” His voice broke. “It’s not as bad as it seems.”

“How bad is it?” Joey asked. “And tell the truth Lance. You suck at lying, and you know it.”

Lance sighed. There was nothing he could hide at this point. “It’s…not good. He hit my face. There was blood.”

“Lance…” Joey’s voice was lost for a second. “You know it was a good thing to leave him, right? If this had gotten any worse, the police could’ve gotten involved.”

Lance remained quiet, puzzled as to why he revealed parts of his life he hoped he could just forget.

“Are you okay?” Joey asked when he heard no response. “Your face and everything?”

“Yeah, I guess. Can we please just drop the subject?” At this point, his voice was barely above a whisper, and his emotions were hanging on by a thread.

“How long did this go on for, Lance?”

And that’s when the thread broke. Tears stung his eyes, and soon not even the greatest efforts could stop his crying. Whether it was because of Tyler’s irrational behavior or the breakup itself, he wasn’t sure, but this resulting emotional outburst was proof he had had enough. He dropped his face into his free hand, feeling thoroughly embarrassed, angry, and hopeless.

“Lance? Lance, I’m sorry. We don’t need to talk about this,” he heard Joey say on the other end of the line. “I didn’t mean to press anything.”

“Half a year,” Lance muttered through his tears.

“What?”

Lance sighed, trying to regain what was left of his composure. “Six months. That’s how long it went on for. That’s how long I freaking let him treat me like shit.”

Joey was once again silent for a moment before speaking. “Six months? Why didn’t you-?”

“Yeah, I know. I’m an idiot. I should have left the first time, but I didn’t. I shouldn’t have put up with the hitting or any of the other shit that happened, but I did. I’m freaking pathetic.”

“Lance, it’s not your fault. Yeah, you should have left him way earlier, but this isn’t your fault. It never was.”

“He cheated on me,” Lance said, instantly bringing forth a fresh set of tears. “He used to stay out really late and he even admitted there were other guys. I knew about it, and I still stayed. What the hell is wrong with me?”

“I’m really sorry, Lance. I knew something was going on with him, but I never knew it went this far.”

“He wants to work things out.”

Joey sounded audibly overwhelmed. “Don’t tell me you’re considering this. Please don’t tell me you actually think this can work.”

“Joey, there’s no way he could have been that horrible to me if it wasn’t partially my fault. A relationship can’t be like this because of just one person.”

“He’s abusive! Why would you ever want to put yourself through that again?”

“Forget it. I’m not gonna talk to him anytime soon anyway. We’re definitely not on speaking terms” Lance paused. “Did you say Justin was trying to call me?”

“Yeah,” Joey replied, obviously sensing Lance’s need to change the subject. “You should probably call him back before he goes all ‘TKO’ on you.”

Lance smiled slightly, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. “Don’t even try with the song references. They’re god-awful.”

“Hey, as long as I don’t end conversations with ‘Bye Bye Bye’, I think I’m okay,” Joey said. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah. See you.”

“And Lance? Please don’t do anything about Tyler. Just don’t think about it, okay?”

“I’ll try,” Lance assured him, ending the call. He would try, but his attempts were likely to be futile. The minute he put the phone down, the tears started again. Things had gone so well when he and Tyler had first started dating, and now everything was a mess. There was no way this could be amended. He had broken up with his boyfriend in a horrible manner, and the relationship troubles were bound to have been at least partially his own fault.

Call Justin, he mentally reminded himself, not even bothering to wipe the tears away. Take your mind off of this. He grabbed his phone and called the familiar number, hoping Justin wouldn’t pick up on the sadness in his voice.

“Lance!” he heard Justin exclaim. “I tried calling you so many times! I was having a major life crisis!”

Lance had to smile. Justin would always be Justin. “The only crisis you have to deal with is getting one less tequila shot than you originally wanted. What’s up?”

“Hey, my life is not that pathetic. By the way, you okay? You sound sick or something.”

Yeah, I wonder why, he thought. “I’m fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“Ugh, ‘I’m fine’ from you is like ‘I’m fine’ from a girl. It means you’re actually not fine, and it’s really freaking confusing.”

“Compare me to a girl one more time, and you’re gonna be less than half the man that you used to be.”

Justin groaned. “Song references are off limits. Especially the album fillers.”

Lance laughed softly. “Anyway, what did you need?”

“I just had an idea. The other guys say they’re in, so you’re the last one that has to approve before we can actually do it.”

“What? We’re going on a joint tour with One Direction to reach out to a younger audience? If that’s it, my answer is no. I’m perfectly content not getting groped by fifteen year olds at the moment.”

He heard Justin laugh. “No, but I’ll be sure to arrange that just for you.”

“You’re an idiot. Anyway, what is it? Another Vanguard Award thing?”

“No, but you’re getting warmer.”

Lance sat up immediately. “What?!”

*****

She pulled herself off the back wall of the club and sauntered over to the nearest counter, trying to look as sexy as possible. Considering how crappy she felt, she was doing a hell of a good job. Her makeup was heavy; she used more bronzer than ever before. The sultry look had to do it. If someone wasn’t willing to buy her a drink tonight, the whole day would be unsuccessful.

It had been a really long time since her last relationship, and men were complicated. Even a friendship with one would be difficult at this point, but it was a chance she was willing to take. That is, if this guy ever came along. There had to be at least one person with male anatomy that was willing to listen to her.

She had been told to find a guy to knock some sense into. Frankly, she had been keener on finding a girl who needed help, but no one would hear of it. She had always been the pretty girl, so everyone thought seducing a guy would be easy for her. If they could see her now, they would know just how wrong they were. Three clubs later, and she had absolutely no luck. No one would even look at her.

So much for this revealing neckline, she thought. I used to try to keep eyes off me, and now I’m fighting to get them. This is miserable.

“Can I get a refill?” a man sitting next to her asked the bartender. “My day’s been shit.”

Tell me about it, she thought. The bartender wouldn’t look at her. If he had, she would have ordered drink after drink after drink until she passed out. Nothing was going as planned today. What did she have to do? Advertise her desperation?

She sat at the bar for the next hour, and not one person approached her. Not one man offered to buy her a drink. Not even one man looked her way. Either she had lost her touch altogether, or this wasn’t the place.

Screw this, she mentally cursed. I’m done for the day. This is not working out.

Readjusting her dress, she walked outside, trying to ignore the light breeze that was picking up. Tomorrow was bound to be better. It had to be.

*****

Leave me alone…this is stupid. Im not working anything out right now.

He had sent that text around two hours ago, and his phone had been flooded with texts ever since. Every single one had been Tyler telling him to go to hell one minute, and saying “baby, I’m sorry” the next. Sure, Lance had considered just forgetting the whole incident from the day before and patching things up with Tyler, but his conscious told him better. In all honesty, he regretted ever responding to Tyler’s texts. Letting Tyler fade out of his life would be better than rubbing salt in fresh wounds.

Lance heard his phone go off, revealing yet another text. 

I know ur avoiding this lance…u know thats not gonna work forever. Grow up.

Go to hell, Lance thought angrily, deciding against replying. If talking with Tyler supposedly made him mature, he was perfectly fine acting like a child. It was so much easier to sing about forgetting a bad relationship. In reality, he felt embarrassingly small. This would leak to the press eventually, and then he would have to do some stupid interview about how he still respects Tyler as a person and wishes him all the best. Tyler, on the other hand, would not have to do that. Other than Justin’s news yesterday, the last two days had been some of the worst.

Yet, there was still guilt eating at him. Part of the argument had to have been his own fault. Plus, what if Tyler was right? What if he truly couldn’t find a better relationship? If it was any sign of the future, many previous relationships were unsuccessful as well. Of course, not at this level, but they failed nonetheless.

Lance reached over and grabbed the bottle of vodka on the table, putting it to his lips for the umpteenth time that afternoon. Regardless of whether or not drinking was a good idea, it helped take his mind off the incessant thoughts of Tyler. He did it last night and it worked wonders. That is, until he passed out. The hangover this morning wasn’t great either, but it had all been worth it in the end.

Thirty minutes later, he was drunker than he wished to admit, but he frankly didn’t care.

Tyler can go to hell, he thought. I’m perfectly fine without him.

If he wanted to, he could text Tyler right now and tell him how much he didn’t care that this relationship was over. Hell, he could tell him in person. He didn’t want him. He didn’t need him. He could break a thousand more vases and he wouldn’t care less. If he saw Tyler with another guy this very minute, he wouldn’t give a damn. Tyler could hit him, and he would hit right back.

Lance looked up at the ceiling fan, watching his vision come in and out of focus. Tyler could take all his broken promises, fake sweet talking, and pleas to reconcile and throw them out the goddamn window. Lance stood up, immediately losing his balance and falling down. Okay, too drunk to walk. Or stand, for that matter. This didn’t exactly seem like bachelor paradise…

“Holy shit,” Lance muttered, bringing a hand up to his head. This was going to turn into a nasty headache later. He stood up clumsily and grabbed his phone before crashing onto the couch. He cringed at the brightness of the screen, but more so at the time. It was 4:30. He must have passed out for at least an hour or two. What in the world was he doing? If this was his way of dealing with a relationship, he obviously was doing a really awful job.

“I suck,” he muttered under his breath. This was the second time in two days, and his euphoria only lasted until he passed out.

I don’t need him? Who am I kidding? I’m a mess without him, he thought. Day two of the single life: pathetic.

Lance dropped his head into his hands and sighed. “What am I doing?”