“I think it looks good, Justin,” Lance said, holding the phone with one hand and scrolling through the lyrics on his laptop with the other.

“JC came up with the hook. I gotta be honest, I think it’s dope,” Justin replied.

“So when are we recording?” Lance asked.

“JC and I are flying into California tomorrow, so we can probably get started the day after that. I think Chris is too, but I’m not really sure.”

“Has anyone ever been sure about anything regarding Chris?” Lance laughed.

When Justin had called him yesterday, he was in no way expecting any kind of reunion. He thought it would be a totally casual call, but when Justin told him that he had written a song with JC and wanted to record it with all the guys, he flipped out. As of now, it was only one song, just something to get the fans excited. There were no plans for anything besides the song and possibly a video, but new material, regardless of quantity, was definitely overdue.

“By the way, what was the reason?” Lance questioned.

“Reason for what?”

“We always say that if we ever get back together, it has to be for the right reasons. What was the reason? I mean, we all have some time off, but this isn’t the first time that’s happened.”

Justin was silent for a second. “I guess it’s just been too long. I mean, doing my own thing is great, but I miss writing with JC and hearing Chris’s bad jokes and all the other stuff that came with us as a group. Doing solo stuff is awesome, but something’s always missing.”

Lance had to agree. After the band broke up, he was happy with his own career, but he never stopped longing to be back with the group. He had experienced major, life-changing events with the guys, and seeing them so irregularly was upsetting at times.

“I think the name of the song is great,” Lance said. “It makes a good comeback single.”

After over a decade without any new music, this song, “What We Had,” took on many meanings. While it hinted to *NSYNC’s heyday, it was a power ballad about trying to get back with someone after a breakup. Whether or not this would end up relating to Lance’s life, he had no idea.    

“Hey, Lance,” Justin said suddenly, interrupting Lance’s thoughts. “Joey told me something earlier.”

Lance froze. “What…?”

“You and Tyler. You guys broke up? Joey told me not to mention it, but I just wanted to check in and stuff.”

“Yeah. We’re done,” Lance sighed. “Do the other guys know?”

“Yeah. We’re all happy for you, Lance. He was never good enough for you. He was honestly not even a nice person.”

“He wants to get back together. He’s been blowing up my phone with apology texts.”

“Just stop talking to him. Delete his number. Block him. Send him pictures of you flipping him off. Actually, don’t do the last one. That’s not smart. But do either of the first two.”

“I don’t know. This whole thing is so frustrating. I’m just confused.”

“What are you confused about? You think you can’t find someone else? Finding someone better than him would be so easy. Practically every guy on the goddamn planet would make a better boyfriend than him.”

“What if it was my fault?” Lance asked quietly. “We used to be so…happy. I don’t know what happened to screw everything up this bad.”

“He’s an asshole. That guy will never be able to hold a relationship ‘cause he’s a freaking idiot. I don’t even know why you’re considering anything else. It didn’t work out because he’s a prick. That’s it. There’s nothing else.”

“It’s gonna take me a while to believe that,” Lance sighed. “Thanks though. If your music career tanks, you can always turn to gay relationship counseling.”

He heard Justin laugh. “Yeah, ‘cause I’ve just got tons of experience with gay relationships.”

Lance smiled. “Is there something you have to tell me? Or, more importantly, is there something you have to tell Jessica?”

“Nah. Still straight,” Justin said. “Anyway, I’ll see you in two days.”

“Yeah, you too.” Lance hung up and turned back to his laptop screen. This song was pretty amazing. It was definitely different from anything they had ever done before, but then again, it wasn’t 2001 anymore. Thirteen years warranted change, and this change was more than welcome. The song tapped more into the R&B that they had experimented with back in the day. Justin had obviously mastered the fusion on his own, but the trademark *NSYNC harmonies would create a sound that no one had ever heard before.

You’re nothing but a memory

And it hurts me so bad

‘Cause all I want is you and me

To get back what we had 

The lyrics weren’t necessarily something revolutionary, but they resonated. Relatable lyrics were something both JC and Justin prided themselves on, and they had done it and then some this time.

Lance jumped when he heard his phone ring. If this was Tyler, he would probably end up losing all control. Any conversation regarding making up was absolutely not happening today. Glancing at his caller ID, he realized it was Joey.

“Hey, what’s up?” Lance greeted, accepting the call.

“Looking over the song,” Joey replied. “JC just called me to talk about it. Did he call you?”

“No, Justin did,” he said. “I think the song is awesome.”

“Do you actually believe this is happening? Joey asked, sounding disbelieving. “How long has it been?”

“Too long,” Lance said. “Way too long. I never thought this was gonna happen anytime soon.”

“It’s crazy. We were kids when we started this, and now we’re in our thirties. What the hell?”

“Chris is forty.”

Joey laughed. “Don’t remind him of that.”

“Remember when we used to give him shit for being thirty? We’re all pretty much older than he was then.”

“It’s insane,” Joey said. “Okay, enough with the age thing or we’re both gonna get depressed.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Lance laughed. “By the way, I heard you told the other guys about me and Tyler.”

For a second, there was silence. “Who told you that?”

“Justin.”

“Goddamn,” Joey mumbled. “I told him not to mention it. I’m seriously starting to doubt his maturity levels.”

“It’s not a big deal. I mean, they were bound to figure it out when we started working on the song.” Lance sighed. “I just need to take my mind off it for now, I guess.”

“You wanna do something tonight?” Joey asked. “It’s probably a good idea if you wanna stop thinking about it.”

Lance shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t think I would be very interesting to talk to today. I doubt you would want to act like my therapist at a club or something. It’s probably bad enough over the phone.”

“I’m not gonna be your counselor. You might as well just accept the fact that you’re coming, ‘cause you’re eventually gonna let me talk you into it.”

***** 

“I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Lance mumbled, pulling his baseball cap further over his forehead. “You’re a terrible influence.”

“Hey, I have to pride myself on something,” Joey remarked as they walked into the club.

“I’m wallowing in misery and you bring me to a place with goddamn alcohol practically flowing out of the woodwork? What god-awful plan do you have now?”

“It’s not a plan. I just think this is just better for you than sitting at home thinking about some stupid douchebag.”

“So I get drunk here instead of at my house, which, may I remind you, is probably a lot safer.”

“Jesus Christ, when did you become the main character of some sappy chick flick?”

Lance stopped in his tracks, looking a little more than borderline angry. “Yeah, why don’t we think about that? It might have been the first time my so-called boyfriend slept around with other guys. Or maybe that time he slammed me into a door before beating the hell out of me. Oh, and I forgot about that time that he came home drunk and got just a little too sexual. Yeah, you’re right, it’s really hard to figure out where this whole thing went downhill.”

Joey cringed. “It was that bad?”

“What do I need to do? Announce it on national TV? He was out of control when he was drunk. And please don’t tell me I should have left him earlier. I’ve beaten myself up over that countless times already.”

“Lance, you can’t blame yourself for something that’s already done with. Yeah, you got yourself into a bad situation, but that doesn’t mean you make your life miserable over it.”

Lance sighed. “I wish I could believe you.”

***** 

I really just don’t want to be here, she thought to herself as she blindly walked through the club. No one had noticed her anywhere all morning, and they were even less likely to notice her now, what with all the alcohol and lights.

Before she had time to comprehend what was happening, she slammed into someone with such a strong force that it sent her falling backwards. Her vision swam briefly, and a dull pain shot through her head. She vaguely felt someone hauling her to her feet, and it took her a minute to regain her composure.

“I’m so sorry. I guess one of us wasn’t paying attention to where we were going. I swear I didn’t see you just a second ago.”

“Yeah, you think?!” she asked. Suddenly, she paused. Whoever this guy was, he had just spoken to her. She looked up at him for the first time, and was immediately at a loss for words. He was gorgeous, to say the least. He had blonde hair and green eyes, a common set of features, but for some reason they looked painfully attractive on him.

“Are you okay?” he asked, breaking her out of her thoughts. He was rubbing his forehead with his hand, obviously in pain from the collision. He looked vaguely familiar…

“Um…yeah. I’m fine. You okay?” The question was asked subconsciously. She was much more focused on his face. Where had she seen this man before?

“I’m fine. Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little spaced out.”

“Have I met you before?” she blurted out before her mind could truly process the words.

He seemed to think carefully for a minute, as if trying to rack his brain for any familiarity. Other than that, his expression was unreadable.

“I don’t think so. What’s your name?”

“Brenda,” she said slowly. As much as she wanted to wind up sleeping with him in a string of drunken bad decisions, giving out her name was probably not the smartest thing she had done today.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you before.”

He said something else, but she didn’t hear. “Wait…you’re Lance Bass from *NSYNC!” She looked at the man standing next him, and something clicked. “And you’re Joey Fatone, aren’t you?”

They looked at each other awkwardly, obviously confused by her sudden outburst.

“Uh…yeah,” Lance said, smiling slightly. “That’s the longest it’s taken anyone to realize it.”

“Hey, you beat a record,” Joey smiled. “I think we should buy you drinks for it.”

*****

“Are you crazy?” Lance whispered to Joey as they walked towards the bar. “You’re married! Are you just gonna buy drinks for everything you see in a low-cut dress?”

Joey rolled his eyes. “I’m buying her a drink, not asking her for sex.” He quickly looked back at the girl who was following them, hoping she wasn’t picking up on any of the conversation. “And you’re single anyway.”

Lance looked at him with a blank expression. “And gay. Very, very gay.”

“What’s your point?”

“What’s my point? What’s your point?”

“There was a point to this discussion?”

“You have issues. Just for that, you can buy the drinks.”

Joey rolled his eyes. “And I thought Justin was the diva.”

“Oh, shut the hell up,” Lance muttered, walking toward the girl he had met just a few minutes earlier.

“So…you said your name was Brenda?”

She nodded. “I would ask you some awkward question right now to keep the conversation going, but I’m apparently bad at doing that.”

He laughed. She sounded and looked like every other star struck fan he had encountered since he was seventeen years old, but there was something different about her. He couldn't quite place his finger on it, but it landed somewhere between innocence and confusion.

“Do you work around here or something?” he asked, just to be saying something. Mental note to kill Joey later for making me do this. What am I supposed to do? Flirt with this girl?

“Um…kinda. I’m working a small job right now. I just moved.”

There was something formulaic about the way she answered, as if she had planned out her response beforehand.    

“You’re not here with anyone?” he asked, hoping she would start talking more instead of just providing objective answers.

She shook her head. “No. Like I said, I just moved. Not many friends, definitely no boyfriend.” She paused briefly, as if considering whether or not to proceed. “Do you have a girlfriend or something?”

He was thrown slightly off guard by that question. “Um…no. Or something, maybe? You don’t know…?”

She threw him a puzzled look. “Did I just violate some unofficial code for talking to celebrities when I asked that question?”

He smiled. “No. I’m gay. So obviously there’s no girlfriend.”

Something in her face changed, but he couldn’t tell what. “Oh. Sorry about that. I guess I’ve been kind of out of it.”

He was about to respond when Joey came back with the drinks. “I don’t know what the hell this is, so pray to your higher power before drinking it.”

She laughed, seemingly loosening up for the first time that night. “Well, this will be my first time having an unknown drink. This day’s been unexpected already, so I might as well take it all the way.”

Lance was about to pick up a drink when he felt his phone go off. “Sorry, I’m gonna go take this call.” He walked a few feet away from the others and accepted the call, not bothering to check the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Lance? It’s Tyler.”

Lance felt the blood drain from his face. “Yeah. Now’s not really a great time-”

“Then what is a good time, Lance?” Tyler sounded frustrated, which only made him more intimidating. “I try calling you, and you don’t pick up. I try texting you, and you don’t respond. I want to talk things over, and you keep trying to run away from it. I don’t know how I’m supposed to try to work things out with you anymore.”

“I don’t want to work anything out. I tried working things out for months, Tyler. I give up,” Lance took a deep breath, starting to feel somewhat breathless. “Whatever we used to have is done, Tyler. It’s been done for a while.”

“Don’t tell me you’ve moved on, Lance. I know you’re trying to tell yourself you don’t care, but I know you do.”

Lance felt himself getting lightheaded. “Tyler, I can’t do this. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“I told you I was sorry about whatever I did before, and I mean it. Those things won’t happen again. I promise.”

Lance almost laughed. “I can’t tell you how many times you’ve said that exact same thing. Tyler, I fear for my goddamn life when I’m with you! I can’t live like that anymore. Maybe I’m not over it, but…”

His mind suddenly flashbacked to various encounters with Tyler-the time he confronted him after he came home late, the many times Tyler came home drunk…

Tyler was saying something, but Lance didn’t register anything. Breathing was getting increasingly difficult, and it took all his effort to keep from throwing up that very minute.

“Lance, just get off the phone.” He heard the voice and recognized it as Joey’s, but it sounded distant. Joey took the phone from him and disconnected it before handing it back.

“Why do you even pick up his calls?” Joey asked.

Lance ignored the question; his head was killing him. “I need to go home.” He noticed Brenda behind Joey, but he didn’t care. If she found out everything about his failed relationship and leaked it to the press, he wouldn’t care, so long as he could get home as soon as possible.

“Lance, what’s going on?” Joey questioned, looking somewhat confused and frightened.

“I don’t know,” Lance admitted, his voice shaking. “I need to get home.”

“Lance, you need to calm down and tell me what’s happening.”

“I don’t know,” he reiterated, taking a few deep breaths. “I can’t think straight. I really need to get out of here.”

Joey briefly said something to Brenda, who simply nodded. She was looking at Lance with a countenance that screamed sympathy and what he thought was understanding. There was something troubled about her facial expression, and even in his confusion, the image locked into his memory.