“It’s ok, don’t worry about it.  You worked Saturday.  I can open, no problem.  Just...” Julie sighed and fumbled with her keys in one hand, purse in the other, tote bag over her shoulder, neck uncomfortably bent to press the phone against her ear.  She knew she looked like a mess this morning.  She leaned forward as the store's heavy back loading door unlocked.  “…don’t let it become a habit.” 

She threw her tote and purse in her office after pulling out a couple ones and went back to lock the back door behind her.  The clock ticked 9:59. She was going to have to open, which meant she couldn't go check her emails or work on the chapter she had started last night.  She hadn't even gotten her tea, yet! She still hadn't heard back from that Justin guy, or Mark for that matter, and for some reason that was bothering her.  Concern for his well being and his employment had been eating at her the past two days.  The guy needed help.

At church the day before it had been on her mind so much, she had forgotten to stand up for a hymn.  When the person behind her leaned over and whispered, “Are you ok?” she felt like a dumbass and quickly stood up, grabbing a hymnal, dropping it with a load thud and looking like a total klutz.  She was trying not to let it bother her, but she wanted to know what would happen.  Part of her hoped this guy would get a job; he clearly needed something to do that was productive and would get his mind of her and his dad and whatever else.  The other part of her cursed the fact that she had helped him.  What if he got the job?  What if he worked right beside her every day?  What if he just wouldn’t stop pursuing her?  But she was moving on, leaving that up to fate, remember? 

“I promise I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Just call me when you’re close.  If it’s near 11 then you may be getting us lunch.”

“Whatever you want, boss!”

It wasn't like Nik to be late.  Sure she had come in hung over before, grumpy and foggy, but never late.  For all Nik's silliness, she was a pretty good worker.  But this, this John guy, was going to be a problem.  Julie could tell by the rushed eagerness in her voice this morning and the relaxed playfulness from the night of the party.  The two of them melded together easily.  There wasn’t awkwardness or shyness.  They both wanted it, they both went for it and now they were going to be with each other forever, probably.  Or not, and it would be messy and Nik would be devastated in a couple weeks.  She wanted her friend to be happy, she really did.  But she also wanted her employee to be on time, and she could just see this becoming a more and more regular occurrence. 

‘Sorry boss, I’ll be there as soon as I can.’ 

‘Sorry boss, he surprised me with breakfast this morning.’ 

‘Sorry boss, we stayed up too late.’

‘Sorry boss, we got in a huge fight.’ 

Yeah, this was going to be a problem.

“I just hope you had fun.”

Nik gushed and almost yelled into the phone she was so excited, “I’ve spent the last two days with him, I’ve had…”  Her voice immediately went quiet, which meant she was still with him and he was nearby.  “Well, we’ll talk later.  I don’t want him to overhear all my juicy details.”

“Good idea.”  Julie turned on all the lights on in the front of the store and walked through, flipping her keys in her hand.  She unlocked the front door, resituating the sleigh bells as they were caught in the handle.  She went outside and locked the door behind her so she could scoot over and get her drink.

“Bye! And thanks for being so understanding.  You are the best boss in the world.  You need a medal.”

“Bye Nikki!”  Julie laughed, hung up the phone and slid it into the back pocket of her skinny jeans as she walked through the entrance of the coffee shop and stepped up to the counter.  It was a nice day and they had the front door propped open with a small chalk board easel to let in the slight breeze and the spring air.  The place wasn't too busy for a mid Monday morning.

A guy with a nose ring and a ratty jean vest smiled at her. “Usual Julie?”

“Yeah thanks. Is Mark here?”

“He’ll be in a little bit, got an interview or something.”

Julie's eyes brightened and she leaned over the counter a little bit as Chris poured her some hot water.  “Really?”

“Yeah, I’m either happy or not.  I’m not sure.”  He set her cup of hot water down and turned to grab one of the glass containers on the shelves behind him that were filled to various levels with loose leaf tea.

“Why?”

“Cause Kyle was an asshole.  But this person could be worse.”

“Could be.  Or they could be an idiot,” she suggested as he put some English Breakfast into a little filter pouch and draped it over the side of her to-go cup.  The water slowly tinted brown.

“They should ask me.  I mean, I know I don’t have a degree, but I know how to balance a freakin’ check book, ya know?”

“You just don’t get any credit do ya, hun?” She smiled at him and he shook his head as she poured a touch of milk into her cup and then fitted it with a lid.  They never charged her here, not ever for her daily dose of tea.  And she knew why.

“Never!”

“Here’s your credit, ok?”  She slipped the two folded bills into the tip jar by the cash register and the guy smiled.  She more than paid for her tea in tips.

“Thanks babe.” He smiled and immediately began helping the students that had filed in behind her.  Class must have just gotten out because it seemed like a rush of people began to filter into the store, professors talking with one another, students crowding around to get their double espressos before their next class. 

Julie had just enough time to maneuver through the crowd and get back to her store before it got too late in the morning.  She knew she wasn't going to open on time, but she wasn’t going to rush.  She kept the red Open/Closed sign flipped so that the Closed side was facing outward and sipped her tea slowly.  Minutes later, she was in the middle of filling the cash register with bills from her bank bag when she heard a loud knock on the glass of the front door, making the sleigh bells jingle roughly.

She called out, “We’re not open, yet.  We'll be open in-” She stopped when she looked up.  There that Justin guy was in a jacket and tie and a huge smile on his face. “Oh…”

“Just wanted to say thanks.”  He yelled through the door as she scooted around the counter and came up to the glass.  “I’m about to go in for my interview.”  He pointed his thumb to the left where the coffee shop was.

Julie smiled and put her hands on her hips. “That was quick!”

His eyes widen. “I know.  Can I come by after?”  He didn’t need permission to come to her store, but she smiled anyway and nodded at him.

“Sure.”

He bit his bottom lip, wiggled his eyebrows at her and waved in a completely goofy and excited way.  Good, she thought, maybe fate was doing what it could to fix this problem.  Maybe things were going to be ok.  Maybe they wouldn't be awkward.  Or maybe it would be horrible and he would annoy her all day.

This attitude, this negative mindset had to leave.  She didn’t know where it had come from.  Sure, in the past year she had been a little more reclusive, a little more hostile towards people she didn’t know well.  But this was bordering on ridiculous. 

An hour passed, somewhere in the midst she finally opened the store.  No customer had been in, yet and Nikki hadn’t shown up.  It was after 11am, and the girl hadn’t shown up.  But Julie made herself busy with the work she would have had Nik do—she was reviewing her used book alcove to make sure everything was still in alphabetical order.  Often people would come to that area and because the books looked a little disfigured they assumed there was no order to the place and would pull books out and put them back in wherever they wanted.  She also knew Nik hated this type of “busy work”, but Julie oddly found it comforting, therapeutic even.  She wondered what was going on next door in the coffee shop.  An hour was a pretty long time for an interview.  A thought came to her that maybe it went badly and he had just sulked home. 

'Alphabetical by author, not by title, people!' she thought as she moved a copy of Beloved over to the M section, labeled with an old M sticker that was faded and ripped.

The sleigh bells rang and she called out over her shoulder, “Good morning!”  She squatted down to pick up a book that she saw lying there on the floor, dusty and half hidden under the rolling shelves that her father had built for her when she first bought the place.  She picked it up and as soon as she wiped the dust off and read the title “Delta of Venus” by Anais Nin, she smelled that darned cologne.

“Ma’am,” she stood up and he was leaning in the doorway of the alcove with a furrowed brow.  “I was wondering where your non-porn books would be.”  He widened his eyes and fought the urge to smile.

She rolled her eyes and pushed the book in the section of N’s.  “Oh, shut up.  How’d it go?”

She turned and faced him and when he said, “I start training tomorrow!” she lifted up her hand to give him a high five.

“Really?!”

He smacked her hand with his and beamed.  “Yeah!”

She noticed now he was no longer wearing his coat or his tie and no longer was carrying the brown folder he had had in his hand before.  She ducked a little so she could squeeze past him and walked over to her counter, pretending to organize some of the random things they sold there: a local magazine, moleskin journals, overly priced fancy book marks and free paper ones with their store logo on them.             

“That’s awesome.”

“All because of you.”

“Please…”  She glanced at him.

“Seriously, you could have just left me hanging!”

She shook her head and continued organizing all the crap around the register.  She thought about getting rid of it all and having a clean counter.  “Just ‘cause I’m not going to have sex with you doesn’t mean I can’t help at least get you a job.”

He quickly changed the subject and she wondered if he was making an effort to avoid the sex conversation.  “So, last time I was here I didn’t get a look around.”

“Well over here…”  She went to the far right wall and motioned to a small three foot row full of pink and red paperbacks.  “Just this row is our romantic fiction.  I’m very selective.  The rest of the store,” she made a grand sweeping motion.  “Is what you would call ‘nonporn’.  I really wish you’d call it romantic fiction or at least erotic.”

He laughed and put up his hands defensively.  “You’re the one calling it that!  And I’m not going to talk about it anymore.  I’m getting it out of my system.”

“Can we talk serious for a second?”  She walked around a large shelf and stepped up on the platform behind the counter.  He was leaning against it on the other side. 

He nervously drummed his fingers against the surface and wouldn’t look at her in the eyes.  But she needed to talk to him, and she needed his full attention. “Yeah, what’s up?”

“So….”  Suddenly the sleigh bells rang and Julie looked at the clock before she looked at the door.  It was 11:10 and it was Monday.  She said, “Hey Mrs. Maple!” and smiled at the ancient woman, stooped over with glasses on the tip of her nose, a large leather purse hanging off one arm and a used and torn paper grocery bag in the other.  The woman smiled and then shuffled her crouched frame into the alcove with the used books.

“Who’s that?”  Justin asked, watching the maroon trench coated woman disappear into the little room.

“That’s Mrs. Maple.  She comes in every Monday and trades used books. She’s my hero.  I want to be just like her when I grow up!”  Justin nodded with a grin and Julie tapped the counter to get his attention back onto her.  “Anyway, serious.”  His eyes darted down to her hand that was on the counter.  “Your brother and my friend, well employee in this way.”  His eyes moved back up to her and seemed relieved.  She wondered what he was so worried about.  “Nik is my buddy.  She’s like a sister, kind of, and I’m happy she’s dating someone, but he can’t make her late to work! This is going to be a habit and it’s gonna be messy!”

He just stared at her, “What do you want me to do about it?”

“I don’t know!”  She raised her hands up in the air and then let them smack back against her thighs.  “Have an intervention.”

He just laughed and stood up straight.  The blue of his shirt made his eyes bluer than she had seen before.  They were a dark blue, like the ocean and she noticed the wrinkle in his forehead was still there but not as noticeable as it had been the past few days.  She hoped him getting a job had helped that worry dissipate a little bit. “I’m not gonna tell my brother to stop being with a pretty lady.  It’s for you to tell your employee she can’t be late for work.  Write her up or something,” he shrugged.

“But it’s hard,” Julie whined.  “She’s my friend and I’m happy for her.”

“Yeah, but she’s your employee.”  Julie fiddled with some stuff on the ancient register and didn’t look at him.  He laughed again and said, “You let her do whatever, don’t you?”

“She’s my number two here!  I’d be lost without her.”

“You’d probably be ok, but I understand.  That’s why I would never hire a friend or a family member or go into business with them.”

She pouted a little.  “Maybe I need to go to business school.”

“How did you get this place anyway?”

“It was a used book store and it was going out of business and I made money with the movie rights and thought it would be fun and bought it and turned it into mostly new but some used.  We have a lot of specialty books—like non-fiction and poetry and a lot of local stuff, so that’s honestly where I get a lot of business.  But then I also have all the normal stuff, romantic, fantasy, standard classic fiction and the best sellers.”

“That’s neat.”  He nodded.

Suddenly Julie was excited, talking a little with her hands, her eyes were sparkling and he just kept grinning at her.  “What’s neat is that because we’re kind of in this downtown shops area, the closest mega book store is ten miles away.  So I get a lot of the campus and literary crowd that comes in.  Like a lot of the liberal arts kids come here to buy their books because even though I don’t sell text books I’ll have their primary sources and I usually get them in used and they’re cheap.  I’ve wanted to do more community stuff like poetry readings and crap like that but it’s hard to drum up support when it’s just me.”

Something happened.  It was small and probably too insignificant to mention, but suddenly they both seemed to have a change of heart and peacefulness came over them. Justin was still completely enraptured by this woman, but more than anything, more than her stories or her sex life, he really did want to know her, about her past and her hopes for the future, what she liked to do and what she didn’t.  And Julie, Julie began to understand that this guy was more than just an interesting character study.  He was more than that, he was a real person with real feelings and real fuck-ups and he was leaning against the counter staring at her with this comforting smile that made her feel at ease.  The past two days that smile had made her feel uncomfortable at times, but now, now it was harmless and it was nice to look at, to see, to make happen. Maybe it was just because he had finally asked her a question that had nothing to do with sex.  Maybe they had really moved past it. 

“Do you like to read?”

“Yeah, I actually do, not just porn.”  They both laughed.  Why were they suddenly able to laugh about it, when before she would have glared at him for the comment?

“What do you normally read?”

“This is going to be really weird:  I like Russian literature, space novels and cook books.”  He sped through the middle part and was pinking a little in his cheeks.

“Anna Karenina is one of my favorite books, after I figured out there are only like ten characters, they just each have ten different ways to say their name.”

“Yeah, it's a good one.  You just need time to dedicate to it.

“So...”  She grinned.  “Space novels?  So, Sci-Fi/Fantasy?”

“Occasionally...”  His entire face and neck reddened.

“Don’t be ashamed!”  Julie exclaimed.  “You like what you like. I won’t judge you!”

Justin moved at the sound of shuffling feet, and when he turned Mrs. Maple was coming over, carrying her used grocery bag and about ten other books from the used racks.  How this elderly woman maneuvered with all these items was a mystery, but she did it with grace.

“Honey, I think you’re gonna like what I have for you here.”

Julie reached far over the counter to grab the bag from the elderly woman, who looked like what she was carrying more than her own weight.  “Oh Mrs. Maple, let me help you.” 

They both began to pull old books from the woman’s paper bag and set them on the counter.  Justin watched as Julie pulled a pencil from behind her ear and took a receipt tab and began scribbling down titles and prices. 

“I’ve read this one several times and I think you can probably get five dollars off of it,” Mrs. Maple said. It was a copy of Gone With the Wind.  Julie knew for a fact she already had two used copies in stock.

“You know all our used are two fifty.

“But this is a classic.”

“Yes ma’am,” Julie glanced at Justin who was just looking between the both of them with the most amused smile on his face.  “I’ll see if I can get that much for it.”

After a few more moments of Julie writing down on the receipt pad, she pressed a few buttons on her cash register and said, “Ok, looks like we’re an even trade today, Mrs. Maple.”

‘Thank you honey, I’ll see you next week.”  The woman grabbed her paper bag full of new used books and shuffled out.  The sleigh bells rang and Julie organized the books Mrs. Maple had left on her counter.  Most of them were crappy gas station novels, but there was a Cormac McCarthy and a collection of John Donne poems mixed in, so it wasn’t a total loss.

“That was not an even trade.”

“She’s my number one customer.  Stop judging my business practices.”

Julie moved around the counter and grabbed one of the stacks of books Mrs. Maple had left.  “This is a non-profit, huh?  Endowed by the J. B. Hann Sexy Writing Foundation.”

“Shut it.  It’s fun!  I need to finish this up.  Will only take me a few minutes.” He nodded and started looking around the store, pulling out a book here, putting it back, skimming his fingers over some of the new glossy hard backs on the center round table display.  Julie worked on putting Mrs. Maple’s books into their proper alphabetical space.  The sleigh bells rang a few minutes later and when Julie looked over she saw a blur of a red head barrel through the doors.  

“Hey!  You finally made it,” Julie said. She couldn’t see Justin, but figured he was hiding behind the load baring column in the center of the store.  She grinned, he had found the sci-fi section, probably.

“Sorry, I high-tailed it over here.  He had to go to into the office, anyway. Oh my God, I’m soooo in love, Julie!!”  Nik groaned, leaning against the counter in the most dramatic fashion.  Julie widened her eyes.  Clearly she hadn’t seen Justin in the store either.

“Shh…”

Nik shrugged. “What?”

“Hey Nik.”  Justin bent out from behind the column, and goofily waved at Nikki.

‘Oh my God hey what are you doing here,” she deadpanned without any pauses.

“He’s buying books, of course.”  Julie said cutting her eyes to Justin.  “You are going to buy something, right?”

“Uh, sure…”

“I see you found the Sci-Fi section.”  He reddened again and disappeared behind the column.

Nik was beaming, hand on her hip, grin in the corner of her mouth. “Things are going well?”

“He’s just looking around.”  Julie rolled her eyes.  “He just got a job and wanted to thank me.”

“Did you replace me?”

“No, he’s gonna manage Java.”

“Oh cool!”

Justin sauntered over and shook the book in his hand. It was Ann Leckie’s new book that had been pretty popular the past year.  “I’ll get this.”

She waved her hand. “Call it a happy new job present.”

“No, really I can pay for this.  It’s just 15 bucks.”

“Yeah but you over paid for my 20 dollar paperback so…”  She glared at him playfully.

“I gotta pay you back somehow; you got me a job and now are going to give me a book?  I’m not going to be part of this non-profit ponzi scheme.  Can I get you lunch or something?”

It started creeping back.  Why couldn’t he just take the book and go?  Now with Nik here it was weird and awkward, and Julie could tell that Nik was just staring at them, amused, probably planning their wedding since, ya know, they were soul mates or some bull shit.  She was annoyed and uncomfortable. “Just take the damn book.”

“This is no way to run a business!” he said exasperatingly.

“That’s what I tell her!  Take her to lunch.”

Julie gave her employee a look.  “I’m not going to lunch.”

Nik put her arm around her boss. “What is wrong with you?  It’s 11:30, I know you.  You’ve been thinking about lunch for at least an hour now.”

“I’m busy,” she grumbled and tried to walk away, taking the other stack of Mrs. Maple’s books with her to the alcove.

“No, let’s all talk about this.  There’s no one else here and you need to be called out on your bull shit Julie.”

“Excuse me.”  She turned slowly as she heard the words.

Nik waved her hands in front of Justin as if he were the puzzle on Wheel of Fortune.  “You have a nice, attractive man who wants to buy you lunch.”  She then pointed to herself. “You have me here to cover the store.  So, why won’t you go? There’s no reason not to.  It’s lunch, you’ll be back in an hour.”

“I just, I have stuff…”

“No you don’t!”

“Stop ganging up on me!”

Justin put up his hands in surrender, still holding onto his book.  “I’m staying out of it.  I’m just trying to say thanks.”

“You said thanks! I don’t even need your thanks! I’m fine!”

“Will you please go on a date for once in your life?”

Julie groaned, stomped back over, plopped the books on the counter, making the top two fall off and then threw her hands up walking towards the back of the store. “So now it’s a date?!”

“Oh my God, I can’t stand it when you’re like this,” Nik said back to her. 

Julie needed an out.  Maybe she could claim she brought her lunch, which was a lie.  Maybe she could just leave out the back door.  It was looking like a great escape route, her only option.  But when she was back there, she could hear them mumbling to each other.

“Don’t worry about it,” Justin said.

Nik had sighed, “No, I just don’t know why she does this to herself.”

“Was she like burned or something?”

“No, that’s the thing, she’s just a little inexperienced.”  Julie ground her teeth and leaned into her office to grab her purse that was sitting on the dingy couch right inside.  “I don’t know, I’m not saying anything, she’s just got her quirks.  I just want her to be happy, but her idea of happy is weird and different from…”  Nik’s speech stopped when Julie walked back out, purse on her shoulder, forced smile on her face.

“Ready?”  She looked up to Justin. She wasn't going to put up with this.  This was her store, her life and no one could tell her what to do.  She was going to go to lunch with this dude to shut Nik up and to lay it all out on the line for him.  She had to.  She couldn't handle it anymore.  Nik was going to get a talking to when she got back.  Maybe he was right, she should write her up.  But first, first, she was going to go to get a free fucking burger and it was going to be amazing.  Things were fine before Nik walked in.  Things were perfect.  She was going to get that back.

He blinked when she stormed back in, looking ready as ever to go get a bite to eat.  Moments before it had seemed like the worst idea to her and now here she was.  The girl was confusing as hell and as much as Justin was interested and intrigued by her, he was starting to get a feeling in the pit of his stomach.  Nerves, uncontrollable, freaked out, nerves.  Maybe they were delayed nerves from his interview which he had been totally calm about.  Whatever they were for, this girl was not to be messed with.  Inexperience?  Was she a virgin?  Quirks?  Was she some medical anomaly?  He didn't know, but he was certain the last thing his partially depressed, still grieving self needed was a basket case to deal with.

“What?”

“Let’s go to lunch!”

He just stared at her, terrified. “Seriously?”

“I’m not going to stand here and have you guys talk about me and about my inexperience and quirks and differences…”  She glared at Nik, “So you are going to pay for my lunch.  Where do you want to go?  I’m craving a burger.”

His voice cracked and he stumbled with what to say, “Y-you know this town better than I do.”

“We’re going to S&M, you want anything?”

Nik sung out, “I’m fine, have fun!”

Julie stormed out through the back and Justin had to quicken his pace to keep up.  He followed her through the back of the store, past her office and stock room to the heavy loading door.  When she busted through it, he followed and called out to her.  “Um, where exactly are we going?”

“Strauss and Main,” she yelled, moving through the back parking lot like a bullet.

“Oh…”  He laughed a little. “Sorry, you said S&M”

She stopped suddenly and he had to halt his steps so he didn’t run into her.  She mumbled “sorry” and dropped her purse to her feet and immediately began pulling her hair down from her ponytail to pull it back up again. He was beginning to think this was a nervous habit of hers.

“Look…”  He licked his lips and said, “You don’t have to go with me.”

“Yeah, I do.”

She sounded like she was going to get a root canal, not lunch.  “Well, this seems like it’s going to be fun,” he said sarcastically.

Julie let her hair fall back again and stared into space.  “I can’t stand it when she gets on my case.  So what if I’m not some slut who fucks on the first night like her whorish...”  She immediately stopped and looked at Justin.  “I’m sorry, she’s not a slut and I shouldn’t say that. I’m just angry.”

“Clearly.”  The bad thing was, the girl, basket case that she was, was still attractive and sexy in her unassuming way.  She picked up her purse and turned on her heels, walking quickly again to the end of the parking lot to a shiny dark blue BMW Sedan.

“I can drive, ya know?”

“Do you know where you are going?”  She remotely unlocked the Beemer.

“Not really.”

“Then I’ll drive.”  She opened the door, got in and slammed the door shut. He cringed and quickly walked around to the passenger side, afraid she might take off without him.

“So….” he said, once he got in and got buckled up.

“I’m so getting a beer at lunch,” she gritted out.

“Do it!”

He watched as she had to turn almost her entire body out of the front seat to look behind her and back out.  She really was tiny.  But the scowl on her face and the bitterness in her voice filled up the car, like she was much larger. “I mean, I own the place, it’s not like it matters.”

“Yes, live a little,” he encouraged

She moved the car to park and flipped back around.  “Just be quiet.”

The car ride was silent.  He just sat there, glancing at her as she gnawed on her bottom lip, eyes hidden behind huge sunglasses, hands, he noticed now with chipped lime green nail polish, gripping the steering wheel and speeding through the downtown streets.  At first, he was slightly worried she was going to kill him.  But she shifted her car like a pro, and Justin tried to ignore the fact that her anger and frustration while expertly driving this manual BMW was super sexy.  Why did a nut job have to be sexy? 

“Dammit, Julie.” And now she was talking to herself.

“Huh?”

They parked in front of the bar that Justin remembered going to with his brother the week before.  Julie let out a huge sigh, and when he looked at her, she looked absolutely mortified, slumped in her driver’s seat, forehead against her steering wheel, hair all over the place.  “I’m just a moron and I’m now talking to myself out loud.  Just go ahead and say it.”

“What?”

She sat up and stared at him, “I’m crazy, huh?’

“Maybe a little...”  He grinned at her and what Bill said the other night made so much sense now.  Friends, that's all they could be.  And maybe she needed a friend more than he even did.  Clearly she had some issues, sex or not.  Her mood swings were radical and he was not about to try to become romantically involved with her and have to take that drama on when he had enough of his own.  He nodded to the restaurant and they both got out.  “We all are a little crazy.  But, I want you to know something.  The silent awkward car ride here made up my mind. I’ll tell you about it when we get inside.”

“I’m so embarrassed.”  She covered her face with both of her hands.

“Stop it.  You shouldn’t be.” She looked fearful of him and timid when she walked up to him.  Luckily she had found a close parking space and the walk wasn't that far.  He opened the door for her and when they walked in there were several open tables.  “Where you wanna sit?”  She just walked towards a two seater over by the window, the exact spot Justin remembered Nik and that other girl sitting the other week.  Menus were plucked from between the salt and pepper shakers and the bottles of ketchup and malt vinegar.  He glanced over his menu momentarily.

Julie's eyes were wide as they sat there and waited for the waitress to come over.  She was avoiding eye contact with him and looked like she was either having an intense conversation with herself or completely demolishing the inside of her cheek, chewing on it.  She pretended to study the menu.  He couldn't handle it and shifted a little.  When she looked at him, he made sure to hold her gaze.  He was going to start this conversation and she was going to have to deal with it.  They were in public, about to order a meal and he figured she would have less of a chance to get mad at him and make a scene in a neutral space.

“So, I’m drawing a line in the sand.”  He moved his finger tips over the center of the table in between them.

“This is a table, not sand.”

He passed her a bored look.  “Imagine it, will you?”  He kept his posture leaned towards her and said in a soft, low voice.  “I’m not trying to have sex with you.  It’s pretty clear to me now that this…us…”  He motioned between both of them.  “Would be really, really messy.”

She just stared back at him, blinking once, then again. Those green eyes were locked on him and she was hanging on to everything he was saying.  He could tell by her intense stare. “This doesn’t mean I don’t think you’re cute and interesting and fascinating, or that I don’t think you are a very talented writer.  I just think we both have some issues that could be messy.”  He then relaxed back into his chair.  “However, I want to get to know you better.  We’re going to be working right beside each other and clearly things are going well with Nik and John so we’re probably going to be around each other a time or two.  So, for both other sanities, I think we should be buddies.  I think that’s what we need.”  He nodded in agreement with his own statement.

“Need?”  She was cringing and looked horrified at the concept. His ego, from his wonderful idea, deflated and he leaned forward.

His voice was a little defensive in its tone. “I mean look, you’ve made it perfectly clear you don’t want me as a boyfriend.  And I just moved here and honestly with all my emotional baggage right now, I probably don’t need to be getting a girlfriend immediately.  I need to figure this place out.  What I do need is a buddy and maybe you need a buddy, too!” 

She was no longer cringing, but just staring at him, thinking hard.  “No sex, no flirting, just friends,” he added. The horrified look was gone, and her eyes were sparkling again, and there was the smallest smile in the corner of her lips

 “And maybe, just maybe, I’ll prove a point in the process and you’ll learn that men can actually be decent people who don’t always have to talk or think about sex!”

“You guys ready?” Suddenly the waitress was there and Justin pinked just slightly at the possibility that she may have heard the last part of his speech.

“Uh, yeah...”  Justin put his menu back on the edge of the table by the window and smiled at the lady standing there, trying to recover from his embarrassment.  “We’re getting a pitcher of Yuengling and I’m getting the blue cheese burger and she’s gonna have…”

“Chicken Cesar wrap,” Julie beamed. 

As soon as the waitress had turned to leave, Justin said, “You said you wanted a burger.”

“I really just want fries.”

“Then you should have just ordered a basket of fries!”

“Well see…” she began to explain.  She was at ease and he could tell by her posture and she brightness in her eyes and the flush in her cheeks that suddenly she was having a good time.  “The burgers here are huge and I really just wanted a bite because you're here and last time I saw you, you were grilling burgers. I figured you would maybe let me have a bite of yours and a bite will satisfy my burger need for a week or so.”

“What are you going to do with your wrap?”

“Eat half of it and save the other for dinner.”

He grinned at her.  A planner like John, but instead of being an asshole about it, she was completely adorable.  “Did you plan all this out?”

The crazy, stressed out, humiliated and angry woman who sped them to this place was gone.  The girl from the deck, from her email, from her shop this morning was back.  She hadn't really commented in positive or negative to his friendship proposal, but he was hoping that she would just ease into it with him, then they could have a friendly neighborly relationship, so that when she came into the coffee shop, or he saw her with Nik that it would be cordial, fun even.  This could be the last lunch they ate together, so he was hoping for decent conversation.

“Yeah…”  She laughed at herself.  “I usually start planning lunch about 10am.  When I’m not writing, or not reading a book, or not thinking about what movie I want to watch tonight, I’m thinking about food.”

“I love food.”

“Who doesn’t love food?  Like, find me a person who hates food and that person needs to just go be alone in the desert with nothing. Nik told me you can cook breakfast.”

“Girl, I cook it all.”  He smiled when the waitress brought their pitcher and two pint glasses.  He poured them each a glass.

“I’ve been thinking about buying a grill, but since it’s just me I don’t know if I would use it.  Grilling is such like a team sport, ya know? You need people and booze and music to grill.”

“That is a lie. I grill all the time by myself.”  After he said, it he got quiet for a moment.  Lately he was doing everything by himself and he hoped that last statement didn’t sound too needy or whiny or pathetic.

When he glanced at her, she was smiling brightly and she smacked the table with her fist and said triumphantly, “Let’s do this.” 

“What?” He took a sip of his beer.

She shrugged. “Be buddies!  Now that I know you aren’t trying to get in my pants, I think this is awesome!  Maybe every other Monday or something we can go to lunch, we’ll be right beside each other store wise.”

“Monday’s with Jules and Justin.”

“Jules, eh?” She sipped her beer and her eyes looked curious over the rim of her glass.

“What?”

“Nothing, only Dad calls me that.”

“Sorry.”

“No I like it!  It’s cool.”  It was quiet for just a moment and she eyed the pitcher of foamy, honey brown liquid sitting on their table.   “I can’t believe you got us a pitcher.  You may have to drive me back. I can be a light weight sometimes.”

He just passed her a small smile.  Part of him hoped she was being honest about that.  He kind of wanted to get behind the wheel of that sweet car.  “So, now that we’re buddies, what else do you like to do when you’re not writing or reading or watching movies or eating?”

They both laughed. “Well, I love baseball.”

His ears began to ring, she had said it so casually and normal.  Baseball?  What?           “Really?”

“Yes.”

“Really?’

She rolled her eyes playfully, “No, I just lied for no reason.”

His ears stopped ringing and he had to drink a long chug of his beer to calm himself.  Becky always hated baseball season because he wanted to watch games and they were boring to her.  He had always loved it, but really gotten into it the past season with his dad, watching baseball every day, every Braves game.  And on off days, they'd watch the next best match up.  His dad had even told him, Whatever you do son, get a girl that will watch a game with you.  She doesn’t even have to love it, just tolerate it!  And if you find a girl that loves it, well she could look like a cow and it doesn’t matter.  Go for it!

He licked his lips, chuckling at the memory.  Julie sure didn’t look like a cow.  “If you like baseball, I’m taking it back—we’re not buddies, we’re going to go elope right now.  You know how long I’ve been looking for a girl who will watch baseball with me?”

“Girls like baseball, you just need to look harder.  There are men in tight pants! You know about the River Rats, right?”

“The what?”

She laughed fully and nodded. “Horrible name, I know. It’s a minor league team over in Cason.  Like twenty minutes away?  Not sure why it’s there and not here in Walterville.  I had season tickets last year, but I never got to go because I was busy with the store.  But now that I have Nikki and weekend help I thought about getting them again.  I think their season starts this weekend actually.”

He just blinked.  She really wasn't lying.  And it wasn't just like, ‘oh I like baseball' like ‘oh, I like movies.’  No, she really did like it, knew it even!  “You really like baseball.”

“Yeah, I’m a big Cards fan.  My dad grew up near St. Louis. Most people here pull for the Braves, but everyone in the South pulls for the Braves.  Speaking of, I can’t believe we haven’t even talked about this, where did you move from?”

“Knoxville.”

“So you’re a Braves fan.”  He nodded and mouthed ‘oh yea’.  “What do you think about McCann now being a Yankee?”

He still couldn't believe it.  It’s one thing to say it, to go to games, to pronounce what type of fan you are.  It’s another thing to start talking about offseason trades!  “You seriously know baseball.”

“Yeah, I do. You guys got that shortstop Simmons for a steal.  He’s one of the best defensive players I’ve seen.   So what about McCann?  I’m dying to know your thoughts.”

He sucked in a deep breath, well at least now he had a buddy to watch games with him.  This was going to be awesome.  Maybe they could get together, drink beer and watch baseball.  This was going to be hard, very hard to keep this just friendly.  She was suddenly so open to him, so fun, so….friendly and playful.  He was going to need a trick. Maybe, maybe she was a medical anomaly.  Maybe she was a hermaphrodite.  That would actually, honestly, make sense and he would no longer be attracted to her.  It was what he was going to have to do.

 “It’s shit.  It’s like come on dude, you’re from Georgia, and you are the face of our franchise!”

“But it’s the Yankees!  Every kid that plays baseball grows up dreaming of wearing the pin stripes and making a bazillion dollars.”

God, she was so cool, so awesome saying “pin stripes” and talking baseball shop with him.  So what, she didn’t want to bone him?  This was awesome.  He smiled.  What a fucking lucky guy was he?  A hot chick to talk baseball with! “So are these Rats good?”

“They are ok.  I mean, it’s fun, ya know?  They are Double A team for the Rays so, that’s crappy.  I mean, who pulls for the Rays?  But, it’s a fairly new stadium kind of in the country, fireworks on Friday.”

“We’ll we’re going.  John cares more about football.  I mean, he’ll watch baseball and he pulls for the Braves, but like I do fantasy teams with my friend Bill and some people back home and used to always go to a Braves series every year with dad.”

“Yeah?”

“His bucket list was to go to all 30 parks before he died, but he just got so sick so fast.”

Their food was brought out lightening fast and he was glad for the distraction.  He could feel his chest getting heavy at the thought of his dad’s unfulfilled wish.  He coughed and pulled off the onions and tomato from his burger, trying to distract himself from the somberness he stupidly brought into the situation. He was going to have to get a grip.  He knew this was part of the steps, that sometimes it would be fine and others, random other times, it would just bubble up in him, this kind of emotion.  But this was not the time, not when everything was going so well with Julie.

“You ok?”

He needed to change the subject.  “So, buddddyyy…”

Her laugh was full and deep.  It wasn’t pretty or girly, but it was fun and easy. “I love how we just declared it.  It’s like…”  She let her fist lightly land on the table “You just stuck your flag in the table and was like, ‘I declare this a friendship!’”

“It’s how I roll.  So, serious, am I gonna hate my new job?”

She shrugged and finished chewing her bite of food. “I don’t know!  The last guy I didn’t really know that well.  He was always sulking in their back office bitching at people.  I think it’s one of those jobs where you can be really present if you want to or not.  I honestly don’t know.  Mark is a super nice guy, but he knows coffee not necessarily how to run a business.  He’s kind of a snarky hippie, if that’s a possible thing to be.  So he probably needs a good people person that can run everything. And at least it’s a foot in the door.  The great thing about Java is everyone in town goes there.  So it’s surprisingly a good networking place to meet people and other possibilities.”

“That’s a good way to think about it.”

“And it’s money.”

He pointed a fry at her. “Exactly, and when you don’t have to pay rent, don’t have college loans, your car is paid off and pretty much you just have to buy burgers and beers, it’s pretty sweet.”

She randomly changed the subject.  “Did you play sports in high school or ever?” she asked before eating two ketchup soaked fries.

“Yeah, I played baseball, but I kind of sucked at it.  I was actually really good at soccer—but I hate soccer!  Run this way, run that way, it just was boring to me.  You?”

“I tried out for softball and failed miserably.  I’m not very coordinated,” she chuckled.

“My problem was our baseball team was actually really good.  We actually went to States a few times.  So I probably would have been good on like a crappy high school team.”

“So you grew up in Knoxville?”

“Yup, born and raised.  You here?”

“Yeah, this is where my mom’s from, so she met dad in college because he came to Walterville State and she was at Davis—that’s the preppy girl’s college. Married, settled, had me.”

He smiled at her.  “Sounds kind of perfect and boring.”

Julie nodded and swallowed her food before briefly mentioning, “I mean, I did have a sister.”

“What?”  He blinked.  She said it so much in passing that he almost kept talking.  She had a sister?  As in past tense, as in no longer around?

“Yeah.  She died when I was two.&r