December 5, 2016

11:45 am

Mexicue Food Truck

60 Centre St, New York, NY

“When are you due in?”

Tad hands me my tacos and my drink and I take it from him as we sit down on the bench several feet from the food truck.  “The judge is meeting with us at twelve thirty.”

“Great.”  He leans in and kisses my lips before I have a chance to start consuming my early lunch.  “Then we have an actual lunch break together today.”

His smile shows off the dimples that make him hard to resist and I unleash a smile for my fiancé.  “Do you have more negotiations today?”

“A couple of meetings, nothing too crazy.  I’ll probably be home before you so I’ll pick up some dinner.”  He smiles and takes a big bite of his taco.

I just stare down at my food.  Suddenly, I’ve lost my appetite.  Nerves, yes.  Nerves, because I’m about to be in a room with a man that I don’t know how to feel about, and it’s been six months since we’ve spoken face to face.   

Being with Tad should be bliss.  I should continue our conversation with wedding plans, pull out the two invitations that my sister and I picked out over the weekend to see what he thinks.  I should be excited about them, about all of our plans..

I should be excited that I’m getting married, and running off to LA to live with my husband in our brand new network comped home in the hills of Hollywood.  A fresh start, that’s what I wanted when I walked out of Justin’s hospital room that day.  I begged to be able to forget about him, and my feelings for him.  For awhile I guess I did.  I forced myself to delve deeper into this thing with Tad, and start to seriously plan our wedding.  The guests are RSVP’d, the bridesmaids dresses and my own wedding dress are ready to go.  All other plans are set into place to make this wedding go off without a hitch.

But somehow, I’m still uncomfortable about this.

I can’t put my finger on it.

I do know though, that when I talked to Justin on the phone the other night, it was the first  conversation I’d held in a long time that made me come alive inside.

It’s not sad, it’s fucking scary.

What’s even scarier is, I’m going to have to face him in court in just under an hour.

I couldn't bring myself to tell Tad about it.  I knew he would tell me to pass it off, because things were funny between us for awhile when Justin and I were seeing a lot of each other.  Am I betraying Tad in a way?  I guess so.

Do I care?

No, and that makes me a horrible person.

Lately I haven’t been able to sleep.  When I lie in that bed with a shirtless Tad next to me, his arms secured around my waist as he sleeps, I feel terrible.  A little voice whispers to me that I don’t love him.  That I have no business marrying him.  That I love Justin.

When I heard his voice on the other end of that phone Friday night, I nearly lost it.  We started our usual flirting banter so fast that I didn’t know what was happening until it was too late. It all came flooding back to me, the way we were, how much I loved him once upon a time.  How walking away from him after his surgery nearly destroyed me.

He sounded so strong.

He sounded like my best friend.

Something inside began to ache, so I ended the call.

He’s all I’ve thought about ever since.  It’s a horrible reality.  I hate that I can’t shake him, that I might still love him.  I wish there was a cure, but there isn’t.  I’m clinging to the hope that our move will force me to forget, or that I’ll get pregnant after we’re married and won’t have a choice but to forget.

Is that the right thing? I know it’s not, but at the same time, what other choice is there? It’s not like Justin is completely single.  He’s still doing dinners with Hannah, which is basically like dating, since the way he dates women is so fucked up.  He didn't exactly beg me to come back to him like he used to

It’s gotten me thinking…maybe he’s over me.  He gave up because I gave up.

But that’s what I wanted, right?  I couldn’t trust him, I was afraid to try, and it serves me right.

“Maggie?”

“Huh?”  I snap out of my daze and look my fiancé in the eye.  

“What’s wrong? Big case?” He smirks and flashes his dimples at me.  “You look terrified.”

“No…it’s nothing.”  I force a smile.  “I guess I just have a lot to think about.”

“Mm. Like the wedding.”  He leans in and kisses me slowly on the lips, deepening our kiss just slightly before he pulls away again.  “Not too much longer now, huh babe?”

“Yeah.”  I take a huge bite into my taco so I won’t have to look at him anymore. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I see him.  He’s getting out of a cab, looking as debonair as ever with his expensive suit and briefcase.  Intimidation is what Justin does best, I’m just glad that I can afford to dress equally as well as him now.  My heart starts to race as he comes closer, and I feel queasy.  “Do you want to go for a walk?”  I turn completely away, hoping Justin won’t notice us.  

“A walk? We just sat down,” Tad chuckles.  

“Well I…”

“Hey, Mags! You’re early.”

Fuck.

He’s standing right in front of me, big smile, bright eyes.  His frame is no longer frail, that muscular build he’d always been famous for is about halfway back.  He hasn’t looked this healthy…this good in a very long time, and I know he’s probably put in his fair share of hours to achieve it all.  “Hi Justin.”

“Justin.”  Tad gets up immediately and goes to shake his hand.  “Long time.  How’s the heart?”

“It has been a long time, and…it’s been an adjustment, but I’m doing well.”  He looks Tad in the eyes as they shake hands, but eventually his gaze lands back on me.  “You ready?”

“Ready?” Tad says, his concerned gaze landing on me immediately.

“We’re on the same case…opposite sides,” I nod at him.  “Small world I guess.”

I’m chuckling nervously and Justin is matching it.  Tad however, is completely silent, because I’ve kept this from him.  

“You couldn’t tell me?”  Tad half whispers it.  

I shrug.  “It’s just work baby…” I steal a glance at Justin.  “I’ll see you inside.  Good luck.”

He smirks slightly.  “See you inside.”

Then he’s gone.

“You tell me about all your cases,” Tad continues as soon as Justin disappears through the courthouse door.  “What? Did you just happen to forget about this particular instance?”

“No I…”

“You just didn’t want me to know.”

“Fine.”  There’s no use lying to Tad.  I’d be wasting my time.  “I didn’t want you to know.”

He lets out a disgusted laugh.  “There’s gotta be a reason.”

“Because I knew you’d react like this.”

“How am I supposed to react? Like everything is fine? He’s got at thing for you.  He always has.  And you’ve had a thing for him too.  He nearly destroyed us…”

“But he didn’t.”  I snap at him and send him a cold glare.  “It’s just one case, Tad.  I’m marrying you, aren’t I?”

“Don’t sound so thrilled.”  He gets up and tosses his half eaten lunch in the trash.  “If you really didn’t want this to interfere with our relationship, you would have passed this off to one of the other partners as soon as you found out he was the one you were up against.”

“If I did that we would have lost the case, and the client.”

“Is one client worth your marriage, Maggie?”

I shake my head.  “You’re overreacting.”

“No.  I know what to expect, that’s all.  I wish you could see the way you were looking at him just now, because you never look at me like that.”

“I didn’t look at him any way, Tad.”

“Just…go to work, all right?”  He runs his hands through his hair.  “I guess I’ll see you tonight.”

“Tad…”

“Just go to work, Maggie.”

He walks off.

Wonderful.

How the fuck was I looking at him? Was I gawking at Justin? Was I captivated?  Tad is paranoid when it comes to us, but he’s not stupid.  I’m sure he was right.

So where does that leave me? Hell, where does it leave us? Am I really ready to get married to this guy? Hightail it clear across the country?

Seeing Justin right now forces me to accept the fact that I’m not really sure.

And now I have to go head to head with him in a courtroom.

Damn it.
************
December 5, 2016

1:45pm

New York Supreme Civil Court

60 Centre St, New York, NY

In all the years I worked with Mags at the firm, I never saw her as put together as she is today.  She’s calm cool and collected.  Confident.  Organized.  Like a solider ready for battle.  I’m really proud of her.

I want to tell her, and then take her out for drinks after this is over.

But I doubt it’s my place, considering that I have a job to do.  Biggest case on the books, that’s what Barry says.  It’s always the biggest case, and it’s always me who gets sent in to handle it.  Partner or not, they just can’t trust anyone to handle cases of this magnitude, and it’s not like they’re going to do it.  Although, I do owe Barry a lot, so I don’t complain.

“Pepsi-Cola is clearly in breach of contract, your honor.”  Maggie hands the judge a highlighted document.  “My client was signed for eight commercials, no matter what condition he may have been in on or off the set.”r32;

“Your client was drunk on set on more than one occasion,” I interject, and shoot the judge a little smirk.  “He couldn’t even walk out of his trailer on a few specific dates.”  I put my own highlighted documents complete with photographs on the judges desk.  “The pictures show Mr. Gill at a very high level of intoxication on the day of an important commercial shoot.  Why should my client be forced to pay him for work that wasn’t completed per the contract that he signed?”

“Because it’s not written anywhere in the contract, protecting your client from paying out my client in a case such as this.”  Maggie directs her gaze intently at the judge.  “I’m not saying my client is a saint by any means, your honor.  But a contract is a legally binding document.  They must pay him what is due, and we fully intend to seek damages for pain and suffering.”

“Pain and suffering,” I scoff.  “If your client wasn’t wasted all day we wouldn’t be here.”

“Please keep the bickering to a minimum,” Judge Vale sighs, and looks back down at the documents.

“This is grounds for dismissal your honor,” I say.  “Mr. Gill was completely out of line, and the credibility of the contract went along with his issues.”

“While you have a point, Mr. Timberlake, the fact of the matter is, your client did not put a clause in this particular contract, recusing themselves for any substance abuse brought to the set by Mr. Gill.  For that reason alone, I cannot throw the case out.  Miss Dawson, you need to consult with your client, and decide whether it is in his best interest to have the outcome of this decided by a judge or jury.  In the meantime, Mr. Timberlake, I strongly suggest you consult with your client regarding a settlement to prevent a lengthy civil case.  You both have one week, and we will meet back in my chambers to discuss this more.”

He leaves us.  Mags and I exchange glances, and I let out the breath I had been holding since this whole thing started.  

“You held up pretty well.”  She smiles slyly and grabs her briefcase before rising out of the chair.  

“You still have me beat.” I whisper.  “You got the case to the next level.”

“You didn’t push as hard as I thought you would have to destroy me.”

I just shrug.  “Bryson is an idiot, but Pepsi is worse.  They try to get out of every obligation that they conjure up.”

“Don’t let Barry or Lawrence find out how you feel.”  She walks to the door and shoots me one last smile.  “See you in a week?”

I nod slightly.  “What um…what are you doing now?”

She opens the door, but can’t seem to make herself step outside of the judge’s chambers.  “Catching the subway.”

“Me too.  Want to ride together?”

She licks her lips nervously, stares at the floor, but eventually her gaze finds it’s way to mine again.  “I um…well, we can walk down to the train. You’re going to Penn aren’t you?”

“I was thinking about grabbing a bite or something.” I glance at my watch.  “It’s almost happy hour.”

“I doubt your surgeon would approve,” she rasps.

“Wings, Mags,” I smirk.  “Wings and coke.”

“Oh…um…” She runs a hand through her hair.  “Well I mean, Tad is probably waiting for me.”

“All right, cool.”  I can’t be upset.  It was a long shot.  “I’ll walk you to the subway at least.”

She nods slightly, but doesn’t say another word as she steps out into the hall and holds the door for me.  I shoot her a quick, nervous smile as I lead the way out of the building and into the hustle of Manhattan.

“So, you look…great, Justin.”  She finally says it after we’ve traveled a couple of blocks.  “You must be working really hard.”

“Yeah, I have been.  But you know, having Tyler around helps to keep me focused.  Most of the effort I put in was because of him.”

“Most?”

“Well…yeah.”   

We reach the subway stairs and she stares at me for a few moments.  “I didn’t want to walk away…that day, but I knew there wasn’t anything else I could do.  You know that, right?”

“I do, and…I’m glad you did it.  You needed that, and I needed to rebuild myself on my own.  If anything, I just want to be friends with you.  When you move, I was hoping we could email or something.  Who knows, I might have to travel there for work eventually.”

“Tad would love that, I’m sure,” she sighs, but smiles.

“I”m really proud of you, Mags.”  I say it quickly, wanting to get it out while I have the balls.  “Making partner…getting married, you have it all together.  It’s all I had ever wanted for you, even if I couldn’t be a part of the picture.  I just want you to know that, before this trial bullshit starts.”

She stares back at me, like she can’t believe what she’s hearing.  Yeah, maybe I have changed, or transformed back into that guy I used to be…somewhat anyway.  Being around her, I realize, makes me want to be that guy more than anything in the world.

But I’ve lost her.

“Oh what the hell,” she huffs.  “One happy hour, to celebrate?”

“Are you sure?” I laugh slightly.  “What about Tad?”

“He’s not my biggest fan at the moment, and I’d rather not go home just to have another argument with him.  I’ll see him later tonight.”

I immediately pull my phone out.  There’s two texts from Hannah asking me about dinner, and a voicemail from Barry, no doubt inquiring about how the case went and if I got it thrown out like he expected me to.  I turn my phone off.  “Sounds like a plan.”

I hail a cab for us, unsure of what the night will bring, but knowing that no matter what happens, she’ll be right by my side.