November 24, 2017

6pm

Hannah and Justin's Penthouse

1043 5th Ave New York, NY 10011

"I told you a thousand times, I didn't know she was going to be there."

Hannah paces back and forth in front of me, arms crossed, eyes narrowed, clicking her tongue as she decides whether or not she should believe me.  "When it comes to Maggie, I know you have a bad habit of lying."

Fitz keeps my left arm firmly pinned behind my back, twisting it ever so slightly when he thinks I'm about to try and pull away.  He doesn't get it though.  I stopped fighting him off weeks ago.  "Do you honestly think I'd lie to you at this point? I told her to leave.  She wouldn't!  I swear to god, Hannah!"

She sighs after a few moments, and uncrosses her arms.  "Let him go.  I want a few minutes alone."

Fitz does it after another moment, and shoves me roughly to the floor.  
"I'm gonna be right outside that door.  Don't give me a reason to come back in," he grits roughly in my ear, before walking away and out of the room.  

It's only when I hear the door slam closed behind him, that I allow myself to breathe normally again.  I whimper slightly, my arm throbbing as Hannah crouches down to meet my gaze.  "I think I believe you."

I nod slightly.  "I swear I'm not lying."  The tears glide down my face.  I hate myself for letting her see just how broken I've become.  "I swear."

She takes my face gently in her hands, and gives me a lingering kiss on the lips, which I return, eagerly, hoping it will get her mind off of this afternoon.

I'll do anything.

When I returned to New York, things changed right away.  Hannah was just a week away from her due date, but she had already put several things in place to keep an eye on my behavior before the baby was born.  The network had provided her a team of security at her request, and at first, I thought it might have been a good thing.  Being on national television does bring it's share of crazies to the table, after all, so any extra help keeping them away from us and the baby had to be better.  

It wasn't better, and protecting our family wasn't her reason for hiring them.

They've been hired to keep me in line, away from the baby when she demands it, and to monitor my movements every single day so she'll know if I'm doing anything or talking to anyone she doesn't like.  A guard drives me to work, escorts me up to my floor, and circles my office building for the duration of my work day.  If I go to lunch, he follows me, if I meet with clients elsewhere in the city, he's right there with me.  If I go to argue a case in court, he sits outside the courthouse, waiting.  If I have to fly out for a business trip, I'm given a two guard detail and remanded to my hotel room and my places of business for the duration.   I pass their presence off to my peers and clients as something the network wants for Hannah's protection.  They buy it.  It's easier for them to just buy it, and it's not exactly that far fetched.  Fitz is very accommodating in front of the people I deal with, because Hannah has demanded his discretion, as not to hurt my career. 

Once, in the beginning, while on an overnight trip to New Jersey for a meeting with a client, I tried to run.  This particular hotel room had a fire escape outside the window, and I took a change of clothes and went down the ladder and onto the street.  I got two blocks before the second guard caught me, and I cursed myself for not being smarter.
It was the was the last time I would try to run, and the first time I realized Hannah's security guards carried a weapon on them.

He pressed his gun into my back and forced me back to the hotel, where Fitz was waiting for me in the lobby.  He didn't draw his gun, but he didn't have to.  Knowing he carried one was enough to scare me into doing whatever either of them told me from that point on.  We called Hannah once I was back in my room, and Fitz made me tell her what happened.  Naturally, she was pissed.  She said I would have to be taught a lesson, and left Fitz to do the rest of the job.

I was beaten so badly, I had to cancel the rest of my trip, and was discreetly transported back to the city, where a doctor tended to my wounds in the privacy of our penthouse.  I had two bruised ribs and cuts that wouldn't heal for almost three weeks.  I worked from home, and could barely get out of bed for most of that time.  A nurse was hired to tend to me around the clock, I wasn't allowed to see the baby and Hannah didn't visit me once.  We told the firm that I had the flu.  They bought it, as always.

I don't fight back anymore.  At this point, I fear for my life.

Benjamin has been in on this from the beginning.  He says it's for my own good.  That Hannah and her family are the best thing to secure my future and my children's future.  I begged him to help me.  To get me and the baby away from her. 

He refused.  He said if I tried to leave, he'd make sure I was found.
I can't believe this is what my life has become.  I think of Fay sometimes.  I think of what she would do if she was still with me.  I know she would help me, like I helped her.

But she's not here.  No one is, except for Hannah.

Hannah forced me to sell the house in Oyster Bay right after the baby was born,  Tyler was sent to live with my parents again, after I gave him a tearful goodbye, and we moved into a three story pent house on fifth avenue.  With her new contract, she's making more money than I ever have, and with our salaries combined we can afford to live a lavish lifestyle, and she does.  I'm given a hundred dollars a week for myself, and I'm only able to access more funds when she gives me permission, another way to keep me trapped here.  At the end of the week she checks to make sure I've spent the entire sum, and haven't hidden it anywhere.  She doesn't want me to have a stash.  She knows that could lead to my escape.

The penthouse comes complete with surveillance cameras in all areas of the house, and a dedicated, 24 hour watch team.  I'm not allowed out after eight pm, unless it's to do something with Hannah, or something work related, and more security detail has been hired to watch all the ways out of the penthouse to ensure I can't leave.  I try not to admit that I'm a prisoner...her prisoner.  I try to think that I have few freedoms because of the baby.  I need to comply because we need to a be a family, and we can't be one if I have distractions.  That's what I tell myself, every single day.

I'll lose my mind otherwise.

My happiest moment was holding Mackayla for the first time.  She was born on a Saturday morning just before the fall.  Despite the guards overbearing presence, Hannah made the whole thing really special for me, sending them into the hall so the three of us could be alone together.  Her labor went beautifully, and the only thing she could seem to do was smile as the nurse placed my daughter into my arms.  It was like no other happiness I've ever felt, knowing I created something so precious, and beautiful.  All I wanted to do was melt away into Mackayla, and let her know how much I loved her.  How much I always would.

It's the one thing Hannah has been able to give me, that I don't regret.  
It's the only thing.

It's also what she holds over me the most.  When she's really angry with me, she doesn't mind keeping Mackayla away from me for a month if it means I'll back down and do as she says.  That's how she got control over my bank account, and my incoming money from the firm.  It all gets funneled into her accounts, to with as she wishes.  I accept my pathetic allowance.  I have no choice, if I want to be able to see my daughter.  

"If you see her again, you're to tell me immediately," Hannah whispers, still in a half smile.  "Do you promise?"

"I will," I rasp.  "Hannah..."

She kisses me again.  "It's okay, Justin.  It's fine.  I'm not angry with you.  It was just a misunderstanding."  She pulls her phone out, and calls Fitz.  He's back in the room within a few seconds, and I'm helped back to my feet.  

"Can I see the baby," I ask softly, allowing Fitz to grip me by my upper arm.  

Today, we had a food sampling at that Italian place as a possible catering prospect for our wedding next month.  Hannah brought Mackayla, and it was the first time I was able to be close to her in days.  She wouldn't let me hold the baby, but just being able to sit beside her was enough for me.  Before the whole Maggie thing happened, I was able to give her a kiss on top of the head.  It was fuzzy and warm and her skin smelled of baby powder and a hint of lilac.

"I don't know...Justin...it's been a long day."  She crosses her arms at me.

Punished.  I'm being punished despite this not being my fault.

"Hannah, I'm begging you," I whimper again.  "Pleas let me see her." 

"Take him to his room, Fitz," she tells him with a yawn.  "For the night."

"Let's go." He roughly yanks me back towards the door.

"Why are you doing this!" I scream it at her.  "I've sacrificed everything for you! I've done everything you've asked!"

"So keep doing it."  Her gaze is dark.  "This is how you learn, Justin.  I'll see you in the morning."

"Hannah!" I scream her name one last time as I'm dragged through the door by Fitz.  For the first time in awhile I fight against him, but he tosses me down to the floor, his knee pressed into the middle of my back. I feel the zip ties pulling my wrists together from behind just moments later, and my body sags in defeat.  It's no use.  If I keep pushing back he'll do more than just this, so I allow him to haul me back to my feet and I walk obediently to my designated suite.  I'm shoved roughly through the door, and the zip ties are cut away once I'm further back into the bedroom.  Fitz takes my cell phone from me, as usual, and I feel the surveillance cameras zooming in on me from every angle as the door slams closed, and the electronic locks click into place.
I scream and kick the door, shout obscenities at the cameras, hoping Hannah might be watching and give a damn.  Deep down I know she isn't, and even if she was,  she'd just be laughing at how pathetic I am, and how much control she has over her supposed fiancé.

Tired and defeated, I drag myself to the bathroom and splash water on my face.  It doesn't help though, and eventually I force myself back out to the suite and collapse on the bed, eyeing the bottle of aspirin on my nightstand.

Would it be better just to take it all? Let my eyes close and fade away?
I pull it to me, study it, knowing that right now, it's the one way I have to escape from all of this.  If I don't, I'll be forced to marry her, and live my life like this...trapped...a prisoner.

I just...I just don't want to do that to my daughter.  I know the picture Hannah will paint of me.  Mackayla will know me as a loser and a quitter.  Not someone who cherished her with ever part of himself.

I throw the pill bottle across the room, the rage coursing through my body as I stand on the bed, looking into the camera that points down on me every night while I sleep.  "Damn it!  Let me out!  Hannah! Hannah!"  

I pull it from it's place above, enraged, throwing it and it's wires across the room, the tears streaming down my face.  She's told me never to touch the cameras.

I just don't give a fuck anymore.  I'm going insane.

The room is half torn apart by the time the door bursts open.  I see flashes of Fitz and his goons, and of Hannah standing by the door way.  They muscle me to the floor, pinning my arms behind me, and I feel a knee pressing harshly into my back once again, rendering me helpless.

"Justin," Hannah sighs tiredly.  "What are you doing?"

"You can't just keep me prisoner," I grit out, feeling the trickle of blood flowing out of my nose, and down the front of my face.

She smirks and crosses the room to where I'm pinned down, crouching down like she did earlier, to meet my level.  "Oh Justin," she smooths her fingers over my face, and runs them through my messy hair.  "It's not really like that.  I just have to make sure you don't...get any stupid ideas in that brain of yours.  You still have a career, and a beautiful home."

"You run my life, Hannah."

She huffs.  "Get off him and go.  We'll be fine."

They follow her orders immediately, and leave us.  I don't hear the locks click, trapping us inside, but even if I got out of this room, there's no where to run.  

She silently gets to her feet and sits on the edge of my bed, while I painstakingly try to sit up.  I cough a little, and lean against the base of the sofa, across from Hannah.

"Here."  She pulls some tissues out of the box on my nightstand and tosses them at me.  "You're a god damn mess, Justin."
I press them to my bloody nose and glare at her.  

"Do you realize that I'm trying to protect us?" She leans forward and rests her elbows on her thighs.  "That I'm looking out for your best interest?"

"Locking me in my bedroom isn't looking out for my best interest."  I sniffle and press the tissues to my nose again.  

"You'd leave me the first chance you had," she says, seriously.

"Not without my baby."

A flash of intimidation crosses her expression.  "That's right.  Not without the baby, and that is exactly why things need to be this way, because you'd take her and run the instant I gave you more freedom."

"How long do you think you can keep me like this? A year? Two years? Mackayla is going to get older, and start asking questions about why daddy gets locked in his bedroom at night.  What about the wedding? Are you going to put guards in our room while you fuck me on our wedding night?"

She lunges at me and slaps me across the face, and I try to grab her, but she kicks me in the gut hard, sending me keeling over in pain.  "Should I call Fitz and the boys back in?" She whispers it in my ear as I groan in pain.  

"Hannah...just, please, can't you see reason in all of this?  You control everything I have.  I'm just asking you for some time with our daughter and not to be held captive in our house.  I don't think that's asking for much, considering."

She sighs harshly, once again, and reclaims her place at the edge of the bed, while my gut continues to pulse with pain.  "The eight o'clock curfew has to stay the same, and the cameras stay in place."

"Fine."

"I guess...I can let you go to work without a guard, as a test.  You'll have to wear a tracking device on your ankle, and follow my guidelines of where you can and can't go unescorted during the day."  She chews on the corner of her bottom lip for a moment.  "But you'll still be dropped off and picked up at the end of the day, and your business trips with the two guard detail stay in place."

"What about Mackayla?."

"If you follow the rules, you can spend time with the two of us after work every night, and all day on the weekends."

"I want more money."

"You don't need any money.  If you need something you can't afford with the allowance, you can ask me about it.  I don't need you booking a flight out of the country behind my back."

I shake my head slightly.

"That's all I'm offering, Justin.  If you don't like it, we can keep everything the same."

I snort out a bitter laugh.  "I guess I don't have a choice."

She holds her hands out to me.  "Come lay with me."

I hate doing it.  I hate touching her now, and I hate when she touches me, but I have to do it if I want to get my way.  Slowly, painstakingly, I pull myself up from the floor, and crawl into the bed with her.  She wraps me in her arms, and I allow myself to lay my head against her chest.  The tears come quickly.  I hate it, but I can't hold them back.

"I know this is hard for you," she whispers as I sob into her chest.  "I know it is.  But we'll get through it.  I promise.  All I need you to do is listen to me Justin, and love me back."

I can't say anything, so I don't.  I just sob into her, wrapped in her arms, until she begins to kiss my neck and move her hands down to my belt buckle.  I force myself to get it together, and kiss her back, helping her remove my belt, then my khakis, boxers and sweater, before getting her clothes off too.  I make love to her, the only way I can, hard, aggressively, getting all of my pain out in every move, every pull of her hair, and every climatic moment.

She falls asleep soon after, and I gaze at her, running my fingers down her perfect skin, trying to remember how we got to this extreme.

Maggie.

Maggie has made her cage me up like this, keep me from my child, and have her goons punish me for any pushback to her rules.

It's her fault.

No.

Wait.

This is what she wants.  Hannah wants me to resent Maggie.  To want nothing to do with Maggie.

I pull away from a sleeping Hannah slightly, shaking my head roughly.  
I told Mags to stay away from me today.  I've never said that to her, in all the years we've known each other.  There was my chance to reach out, to tell her how Hannah has me trapped, and all I could do was stare at her, terrified of what Hannah might do if she caught me, and push her away.

"God Mags," I say as I look up at the ceiling, softly enough that the cameras won't pick up on the sound.  "I wish I could tell you what's become of me."