It was Christmas Eve. He should be with family, but instead he was sitting alone in his living room staring at his brightly decorated Christmas tree. He loved Christmas, he loved everything about it. There was just something missing this year. Something he couldn't put his finger on.
This year just like the last many, he went through the motions of the holiday. Christmas parties...then a few more Christmas parties. It had just become too much of a routine. It didn't feel like Christmas anymore. He remembered so many years where he had been happy and truly felt the spirit. His eyes closed, letting the memories roll through him like small waves. Each memory making his smile a little bigger. His memories were his happy place now, not what he had in the present. When he finally opened them again they traveled to the pictures on the wall. One picture caught his attention the longest. Five young men, all with a goal in their hearts. They exceeded that goal in more ways then one. The memories of that time always brought a smile to his lips. He missed them. They had fun at Christmas together every year and he missed that. Sitting in a random hotel room singing Christmas carols, or on a tour bus, someone's house drinking and laughing. He really missed those times.
"Merry Christmas guys," he whispered.
Getting up from the couch he headed towards the kitchen. He poured a glass of wine and looked back to the tree. Suddenly he truly felt alone. What was he doing? Being alone on Christmas? Taking a long drink he quickly finished it. Placing the glass carefully in the sink he shut everything off.
As he went back into the living room he passed his piano. Every night he would sit and play for a while to unwind, but he choose not to play and to just go to bed. In the morning he would do what he could to catch a flight home to see his family. Walking over to the tree he turned the switch, turning it off.
"Don't you remember you're suppose to leave it on, on Christmas Eve?"
Quickly turning the tree back on, he looked over to the hallway where the familiar voice had come from. His eyes immediately locked with blue ones he knew instantly.
"Justin?"
The tall brown haired man walked further into the room, smiling. No matter how old his friend was he could still see that boyish smile that he had seen when they first met all those years ago. He missed the curly hair some times.
"What are you doing here Jus?"
Setting his coat down on the back of the couch, Justin walked further in.
"Why didn't you play?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Jc looked over at his piano. "Didn't feel it was the right moment."
"Why aren't you home?"
"Why aren't you home?" He countered.
"Well there was a slight rumor that a certain member of *nsync was home alone on Christmas Eve."
"Your mother talked to my mother."
"She was worried."
"I told her that it was nothing to be worried about."
"This isn't like you," Justin easily pointed out.
"I just wanted to reflect."
"On what?"
"I don't know."
"Are you going through a mid life crisis?"
Jc gave his friend a hard glare. "Do you want something to eat? Drink?"
"I'm good Jc."
"I have a opened bottle of wine."
"You're dodging my question."
"Justin I am fine. Go home to your family."
"I have family right here in this room. I'm pretty content right here."
"The guest room is all set up. I think I'm heading to bed."
He sighed heavily as he passed his friend. It was hard being close to Justin. Harder than it's ever been before.
"What do you feel you're missing Jc? What is Christmas missing to you?"
Jc stood close to his friend. Taking a long deep breath he gave a short glance to the younger man then placed his same fake smile on his lips. One Justin saw right through.
"Nothing."
"You're lying, truth."
"Love. Christmas is missing love."
"It's always been there Josh, you just need to reach out and grab it."
"There's no love out there for me Justin. Thanks for checking in on me, but I think I'll get a flight home in the morning. You are more than welcome to stay. But please go home and be with your own family tomorrow too."
Smiling softly, Jc kissed his friends forehead and walked towards the stairs. Justin shook his head and watched him head up the stairs. He heard the door softly click. He thought about leaving, about just leaving it alone. But he too felt Christmas was missing something. He too had been sitting at home alone that night thinking.
When he looked at his own piano the only thing he saw was his friend sitting at it playing. Memories had flooded his mind if the two of them playing and singing together.
For a long time he had put his feelings aside. They had been locked up. But he didn't want to do it anymore. Justin wanted to feel what true love felt like. Going to the piano he slowly opened the lid to the ivory keys. Jc's piano wasn't the top of the line instrument. He had bought it when they were living in Orlando together, the year they had worked their asses off to get seen and heard. Jc would sit at the piano day in and night playing, practicing. They had all teased him when he brought the instrument to LA. It was old and worn. But Jc loved it. Every time the man sat down and ran his fingers over the keys it sounded like it belonged in the orchestra playing on a large stage for a large crowd. Sitting down on the bench, Justin ran his fingers over the ivory keys. Softly he pressed down. He wasn't sure what his fingers would play but he smiled when The First Noel started.
"That was always my favorite," Jc whispered from the stairs.
"I know."
"Remember that year we sang it on top of that hotel in Germany at the top of our lungs?"
Justin continued to play and laughed loudly. "Remember the year we sat and sang it in my parents backyard and it started snowing?"
He watched Jc's smile fade and nervousness filling his eyes. It had just been the two of them that night. A perfect moment. Justin remembered that same look in Jc's eyes. Then the moment was gone. It was one of many memories that had been ignored.
"Will you play?" Justin asked.
Rubbing his hands together Jc slowly walked over to the piano. Sitting down he replaced Justin fingers and started playing, starting where Justin left off.
"Remember when the five of us were together. We were in an airport trying to get home in time for Christmas. I was upset because I was worried that I was going to miss everything," Justin began.
Not trusting his voice, Jc nodded his head and continued to play.
"We sat in front of the big window watching the snow fall. We were all down that night. But you took my hand and took Chris's hand into yours, then smiled big. You didn't say anything but you started singing The First Noel. You sang the whole song by yourself, it was just us listening. When you finished you looked at all of us and said, 'Even if we don't make it home to our families, I'm still here with mine and that's all I need this Christmas.' We were your family. We had always been family but that night it was different. You had shown us that. We sang Christmas carols for the rest of the night. You have always had love in your heart Josh. Love has always followed you around. It's always been right in front of you."
Jc opened his mouth to speak but nothing seem to come out. He stopped playing and dropped his hands into his lap.
"What if it's to late? What if the moment has come and gone. Just like it always has."
Moving closer Justin placed his hand on his friends. Leaning into him he softly whispered.
"The first Noel, the angels did say, was to certain poor shepherds in fields as they lay. In fields where they lay a keeping their sheep, on a cold winter's night that was so deep."
Jc turned his head and placed his lips onto the ones close to him, letting the moment finally happen. For the first time in a long time they both finally felt the love that they had been missing.
"Merry Christmas Josh."
"Merry Christmas Justin."
Both smiled at each other and leaned back in for another kiss.
Christmas wasn't missing something. That night they found it in each other. Christmas is a time for miracles and finding what truly is out there for you. Whether it's love, happiness, or peace. At Christmas, it love will always find a way.
The End
Author's Chapter Notes:
*joshtin*
My Christmas story this year. Hope you like it.
I come up with what I come up with!
Chapter End Notes:
Merry Christmas Everyone!
Completed
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