Author's Chapter Notes:
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I lay there watching Maddie sleep and wondered why I was wasting so much time and effort on this girl. The sex is amazing but it’s getting to be more than just sex. She’s wrong for me. She slouches and she sleeps with her mouth open and drools over my pillow. They say you look for a woman like your mother and she couldn’t be further from her. My mother’s proper, she has manners. Maddie says what’s on her mind no matter what and has no problem with putting me in my place. I actually like that about her though, I don’t know why but I do. But she’s so loud. I could never take her out. There are many times in my business that I have to smile and pretend like I’m so excited to meet someone when the truth is I think they are talentless bastards. She would walk right up to Paris Hilton and tell her she’s a whore. That would be fun to see though.
Then there’s the way she laughs. She throws her head back and laughs so hard her whole body shakes and it’s so loud people stop and stare. She’s like a little kid. She can’t cook. Her house is a mess. She leaves her shit all over the place. She won’t eat anything green. If we get food the vegetables are left on the plate. We’ll get room service from a five star hotel restaurant and she orders a grilled cheese.
Maddie is also horrible at being intimate. She’s amazing in bed but after she likes to just get up and go. She hates to cuddle… I’m a cuddler. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s never even been in a serious relationship. Believe it or not, I’m actually a relationship kind of guy. I also tend to stay in relationships for years even when I know they’re not going to work out. You know deep down when it’s not going to happen, it’s not like you just wake up one day and realize shit, I’m not in love anymore.
I don’t want a relationship right now. I tend to jump into relationships right away because I hate being lonely. I hate being alone and even with so many people around me all the time I feel alone so much. It’s one thing to have people around you that work for you and agree with everything you say and do whatever you want them to do. It’s another thing to have someone with you that you can share all this shit with. At least Madison doesn’t tell me what I want to hear. She tells me the truth, or at least what she feels is the truth. It’s refreshing that she’s not afraid of me like so many other people tend to be.
The annoying sound of Justin’s cell phone ringing woke me up, “Answer it” I called out. Why he cannot get a normal ring tone like the rest of the world is beyond me. He has plenty of money to afford a ring tone for 99 cents. But no, Justin needs to get the most annoying fucking ringing any cell phone even has, “Justin, fucking answer it”
He didn’t answer me, or the phone ringing, but it stopped. Maybe he just pressed ignore. A second later it beeped telling him he got a new voice mail and I took a deep breath. Right when I was about to fall back asleep again the phone started to ring again, “Answer the fucking phone or turn it off” I opened my eyes for the first time and then turned around to see that I was alone in bed. I squinted my eyes, trying to see in the dark, but I couldn’t see him, “J?” I looked out at the balcony and saw the back of his head, sitting outside with his legs up on the railing. I walked out there with his phone in my hands and wiped the sleep from my eyes, “J, your phone was ringing” he didn’t say anything, just continued looking up at the stars. I’m not sure if he’s ignoring me on purpose or he’s just so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t even know I’m here.
“Are you sleeping with your eyes open?” it wouldn’t surprise me. He is kind of a freaky sleeper. He always wakes up in the middle of the night and just jumps up and stays sitting straight up for like ten minutes. He talks sometimes too, never real sentences just mumbling. And I swear one time he got up and went to the bathroom and was asleep. Then he just stood up and looked in the mirror over the dresser for five minutes. It was creepy as hell; he didn’t even answer me when I was talking.
“Justin”
“Huh?” he looked over at me for he first time, “What are you doing up?”
“Your phone was ringing,” I said as I handed him his phone
“Oh. Sorry” he took the phone from my hands and dropped it on the ground and then looked back at the sky
“Are you alright?” he’s not one to ignore a phone call. He’s usually all business.
“Huh?” he looked at me again, “Yeah, I’m fine”
“What are you doing up?”
He shrugged, “Just thinking about some shit. What are you doing up?”
“Your phone was ringing,” I repeated
“Oh yeah, sorry” he said softly
“You’re acting weird”
“I am?” he shrugged, “Nah I just couldn’t sleep. I’m hungry, are you hungry?” I nodded my head, “What do you want?”
“Grilled Cheese” he chuckled at my answer, “What?”
“Nothing. What else?”
“French fries”
“Alright, I’ll be right back” he walked inside to order the room service and I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked out at the stars. It really is a pretty view; you can see the city and the river. I love it here, I actually miss it. I never thought I would.
“I had to fucking beg that bitch to make grilled cheese”
“Why?”
“She’s trying to tell me the kitchen is closed”
“But I’m hungry”
“Yeah, me too” he said as he sat down on the chair next to me, “I told her I’d give her a hundred dollars for two grilled cheese. And if she gives me fries I’ll make it two”
I laughed, “And it worked?”
“Yeah it worked” he laughed, “Those better be some fucking amazing grilled cheese”
I nodded my head, “Can we go inside? it’s cold”
“No”
“Yeah” I answered as I stood up
“No, sit down” Justin grabbed onto my arm
“I’m cold”
“Then take my sweatshirt, stay out here, it’s nice” he said as he pulled his sweatshirt over his head and handed it to me.
“Thanks” I said softly as I pulled it over my own head, it smells like him.
“So, you lived here your whole life?” I nodded my head, “When did you move to LA?”
“After high school”
“By yourself?” I nodded my head, what’s up with all these questions? “Do you miss it?”
“No”
He chuckled, “Not at all?”
“Nope”
“I don’t believe you”
I shrugged as I played with the string of his sweatshirt, “I miss like the city I guess, it’s a pretty city. But I don’t miss the people here. There’s plenty of other pretty cities, it’s not worth living here”
He nodded his head, “Have you ever been to Memphis?”
“Yeah” I nodded my head
“It’s nice there, huh?”
I heard myself laugh, he’s such a dork sometimes, “That’s where you’re from right?”
“Yeah” he smiled, “It’s nice though, right? You got the city, ya’know so you can go out hit the clubs, listen to the music, you got the barbeque. But then you got the country where my house is where no one gives a fuck about anything. And I can just go and do whatever the fuck I want and no one’s looking at me like I’m someone worth looking at”
“And you actually like not being the center of attention?” I asked out of disbelief
“Yes, I actually like not being the center of attention” he mimicked
“I know,” I said softly. I know that deep down he doesn’t like all the attention he gets all the time. I also know he loves it at other times. But sometimes he gets annoyed with it and he likes to be normal. He never really gets to be normal.
“Girl, you better not be falling asleep on me. You better eat your fucking fifty dollar grilled cheese”
“I’m not, I’m up” I didn’t even know I dozed off, but I must have because the grilled cheese were there, “Oh, she likes you,” I said as I grabbed a French fry
“Nah, she likes money,” he said as he took a bite from his sandwich, “So what are you doing when we get back home?”
I shrugged, “Relaxing for a little. Then I don’t know, looking for something else”
He nodded his head, “Are you not eating that?”
“Take it,” I said as he grabbed the other half on my grilled cheese,
“Come closer, you’re so far away”
I stood up and sat on his lap, “Better?”
“Mmhmm” he said as he wrapped his arms around me, “So your birthday’s coming up huh?”
“Yes” I felt myself smile, “How did you know that?”
“You told me”
“I did?” I felt him nodding his head against my back, “When?”
“I don’t know,” he said as he rubbed my back, “What are your plans?”
I shrugged, “I don’t know, just chill I guess. I’m not big on birthdays”
“Are you tired?”
“Yeah”
“You want to go back to bed?” I nodded my head, “Alright” he stood up with me in his arms
“What are you doing?” I laughed
“Going to bed. What, you want to walk?”
“No”
“Alright then” he said as he dropped me on the bed and crawled in next to me, kissing my forehead, “Goodnight Maddie”
“Night Sexy”
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