Author's Chapter Notes:
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As I walked into the NBC studios many smiling faces greeted me. Going on these shows always does wonders for the ego. Everyone just waits on me hand and foot as if they have something to prove. I walked past them all, smiling and waving, and made it to my green room where everyone was already sitting around. Everyone except Maddie. It’s not my fault. She left my house at ten this morning, “What’s up guys?” I asked no one in particular, “Is everyone here?” I asked to make it sound less obvious that I was really asking where Maddie was.
“Where’s Maddie?” Rob asked looking right at me. The way he said it sounded like he was asking anyone but the fact that his eyes were on me made it clear he was asking me. How the hell am I supposed to know where she is? Alright, I would know where she is but the real question is why would he think I would know where she is? I shrugged and they went back to their conversation about some worthless shit that dancers talk about.
“Do you know what’s going on with Maddie?” Marty asked as he sat down on the couch next to me. I shook my head, “She wasn’t at rehearsal yesterday, and no one’s heard from her today”
“I don’t know man”
“It’s not like her to just skip out on rehearsal like that, I don’t know what’s gotten into her”
I shrugged and stood up, “I don’t know man, I have to get ready” I walked away from him and to the makeup area while I pulled out my cell phone and text Maddie to find out where she was. Ten minutes later she still wasn’t there. Twenty minutes later, no response and no sign of Maddie, now I’m getting worried.
I thought back to how she left and if I did anything to get her pissed off. I didn’t. Not this time, it’s not my fault. She doesn’t just show up a half hour late for a television show. She wouldn’t do that. I walked back into the green room
“Still no sign of Maddie?” Marty asked me
“Did you try calling her?”
“Yeah, no answer”
I shrugged and tried to pretend that I don’t really care but I really am starting to get nervous.
“I don’t understand why she didn’t come to rehearsal yesterday,” Marty said and I shrugged.
She didn’t come because I wouldn’t let her, “It’s not a big deal, she knows the dance” I’m going to feel bad if he gives her shit for not coming. But seriously, where the fuck is she? I grabbed a soda and sat down in the corner and sent her another text. What the fuck?
Ten minutes before we were going on Maddie walked into the greenroom. Her hair was up in a messy ponytail, pieces her blonde hair were falling into her face. She took a deep breath and dropped the bag on the floor. I took a deep breath with her. She apologized to everyone and made her way to the makeup room down the hall. I picked up my phone and acted like I was getting a call I needed to take and followed her. I grabbed her arm and pulled her into an empty room, “Where were you?”
“Worst day every” she said as she took a deep breath, “My car wouldn’t start”
“Why didn’t you answer your texts?”
“I forgot my phone at home”
“So when your car wouldn’t start you didn’t go inside and get your phone to call someone for help?”
“What’s with the third degree?” she asked seriously, “I just needed a jump and this guy in the parking lot gave me one. Then I forgot my phone and my pass and those assholes at security wouldn’t let me in”
“You should have called”
“I didn’t have my phone,” she repeated.
I nodded my head, but for some reason I think she’s full of shit, “You should have called for them to call us”
“I did. Obviously I did” now she’s getting an attitude.
“You’re forty five fucking minutes late”
“What’s your problem?” she asked seriously, “It was a mistake, it was a bad day, I’m sorry” she started walking to the door but I grabbed onto her wrist so she couldn’t leave, “Seriously J, I need to get to makeup” I studied her carefully, she looks like she’s about to cry. She’s lying to me. Something is going on that she doesn’t want to tell me, “Please let me go”
“What’s going on?”
“Nothing, please?” I gently let go of her and she walked to the door
“Maddie” she turned around as I called her name, “Are you coming over later?” she nodded her head before turning around and walking back out of the room.
I walked back to the green room and sat down on the couch as I put my phone back in my pocket as if I had just hung up. I grabbed a Sharpie from the table and started getting to work signing the cds left for me when I heard Madison’s cell phone ringing from her bag. So much for forgetting her cell phone. Something shady is going on.
“Move out of the fucking way” Justin yelled at me as I felt a pillow being thrown at my back. That’s how I get greeted now, no ‘Hey Maddie, what’s up?’ I get ‘move out of the fucking way’
“Oh my god, calm down”
“You’re standing in front of the TV like I’m not sitting here watching the fucking game”
“So ask me to move, you don’t have to throw a fucking pillow at me” I threw it back at him… and he’s back to being an asshole. I guess tonight I’m getting the crazy Justin.
“And you’re still standing in front of the fucking TV”
I rolled my eyes as I sat down on the other couch. He really is obnoxious. I don’t know why I’m here. I don’t know why he called me to come over and he’s just watching the fucking Lakers game pretending I’m not even here. I stood up and walked into the kitchen to get a drink, “Maddie get me the Doritos”
“What do I look like you’re fucking maid?”
“You’re going into the fucking kitchen, are you kidding me?” I swear the only reason why he wants me to come over is because he’s too lazy to get off his ass and get his own Doritos. I came back into the room and threw the bag at him, “What’s your problem?”
“I don’t have a problem” I sat down next to him and grabbed a handful of Doritos then handed over the bottle of Smirnoff for him to open. I can never get these damn twist off tops it always hurts my fingers
He took a deep breath, opened the bottle and looked back at the television, “Obviously”
“Why are you acting like such an asshole?”
“I’m trying to watch the game”
“Then why did you tell me to come over?”
“Because I didn’t think you’d be so fucking annoying” he answered with a chuckle, he really thinks he’s funny.
“Yeah, that’s really funny”
“Can you shut up? The game’s almost over” I really want to slap him.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah, seriously. Shut up”
“Don’t tell me to shut up, you’re so rude”
“Then stop talking”
“OK” I stood up, “Have another fucking beer asshole”
“What the fuck’s that supposed to mean?”
“What do you think it means?”
“That I’m a fucking alcoholic”
“Hmm”
“I’m not an alcoholic, where the fuck do you get that from?”
“I don’t know, I mean there’s only a pile of empty beer bottles in front of you”
“Just because I’m not putting up with your shit tonight doesn’t mean I’m drunk”
“OK” I said as I walked to the door
“You’re leaving?”
“Yup” I slammed the door and walked to my car when I felt his arm on my wrist. “What asshole?” he turned me around against the car and kissed me passionately, making my knees go weak. I hate that he has this effect on me. It’s not fair. He continued kissing me and slowly slid his hand up my skirt, “Stop”
“No” he answered softly between kisses
“Yeah, stop” I answered but then I heard myself moaning which probably told him I didn’t want him to… but I do.
“You don’t want me to stop”
“Yes I do” I moaned louder as he pushed me against the car
“No you don’t” he kissed down my neck; it’s not fair that he has this control over me. He’s right; I don’t want him to stop. I wish I was stronger and could just walk away but as soon as he kisses me I get weak. And he puts his hands in the right places all the time, he knows exactly what he’s doing, “You want me just as bad as I want you” he slid his hand up my shirt
“No, you want me way more”
He let out a chuckle, “Yeah, you’re probably right”
“I know I’m right” I answered as I pulled away from him
“What’s your problem?”
“How am I the one with a problem when you’re screaming at me from the second I walk into your house?”
“Your car’s working?” he changed the subject.
I nodded my head; I really don’t want to get into this right now, “I told you it just needed a jump”
“So you got the jump and just came right to the studio? You didn’t wait at all?”
“No, I came right there” what’s he trying to say that I just waited around and was late on purpose?
“And your car started up after the show?” I nodded my head and he took a deep breath and walked away, “That’s bullshit Maddie”
“What’s bullshit?”
“If your car needed a jump you would have had to keep it running. And if you came right to the studio your car would not have started after the show”
“Well it did,” I answered quickly, I really should learn more about cars
“It’s not possible Madison,” he yelled as he paced around the driveway
“How do you know if it’s possible or not? Since when are you a fucking mechanic?”
“Don’t try and start shit, I know how to fucking jump a car. Where were you?”
“I told you”
“Yeah, you told me”
“Look Justin, don’t give me an attitude. I don’t owe you anything”
“You don’t owe me anything” he said it with a hint of question in his voice, now he’s just going to repeat everything I say, “You were forty five fucking minutes late”
“Yeah and yesterday I didn’t even go because you told me not to”
“That’s different”
“Yeah because I was with you. It’s ok if I don’t go when I’ll with you but if I’m a couple minutes late when I’m not with you it’s like the end of the word”
“Forty five minutes is not a couple minutes. It’s a television show; we were going on in ten minutes when you showed up. No one could get in touch with you”
“I forgot my phone at home. I told you that like fifteen times”
“Yeah, you can tell me a hundred fucking times but when your getting your makeup done and your phone rings from your bag it’s kind of shot to shit” Shit. I bit my bottom lip and turned back to my car, “Where were you Madison?”
“Ask me one more fucking time Justin,” I said as I opened the door to my car
He took a deep breath to calm himself down and shut my door before I could get in, “You’re never late. I thought you were in a damn ditch somewhere,” he said softly
That caught me by surprise. He actually was worried about me?
“Come inside” he ordered softly, trying to get on my good side again. It’s not going to work. I shook my head, “Maddie”
“No”
“Come on Maddie, please?” he put his head down and looked like he actually wanted me to come inside
“You were being an jerk”
“I know” he nodded his head
“So say you’re sorry”
“Maddie” he gave me a look like I should know he never says he’s sorry. I do know that he never says he’s sorry but too bad. I’m getting sick of his shit; it’s a waste of time. I don’t need to be treated like this.
“Say it or I’m leaving, I don’t need this shit”
He grabbed my hands in his and looked me right in the eyes, “I’m sorry”
I don’t know if it was the way he looked in my eyes as if he were looking into my soul or the way he held onto my hands as though he really didn’t want me to leave or it could have been the way he said the words ‘I’m sorry’ as if it were the first time he’d ever said them together and actually meant it; but I felt my knees go weak.
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