Author's Chapter Notes:
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I stirred the tomato sauce and called Madison, “Hey” she said softly, she sounds annoyed, is she still annoyed with me? I don’t really get the big deal. I should have saved her a cinnamon bun but she said she didn’t even like them.
“What’s up?”
She was quiet as if she were trying to think up an excuse, “Nothing, I’m just tired”
I nodded my head, “Do you want to come over?”
“I’m tired”
“Please?” she didn’t answer me right away, “I’m making dinner”
“What are you making?”
“Macaroni and meatballs. The long twisty kind” I had to clarify because she’s so picky with the stupidest things. I know she doesn’t like spaghetti and she doesn’t like the big ziti or the elbows but the long twisty kind is her favorite.
“Did you make the meatballs?”
“I did”
“From scratch?”
“Yes ma’am” she’s thinking about it but I still haven’t won her over. “And strawberry shortcake”
“Pound cake or biscuit?”
“Biscuit”
“I’ll leave in like ten minutes”
I nodded my head and smiled, “Alright, the door will be open”
I didn’t call Madison at all yesterday after she left; I figured I’d give her her space. Although I’m sure she wouldn’t have come over even if I did call her. So this is me making it up to her, even though I don’t really get the big deal. But she was really pissed off and even though I think she’s overreacting just a little I’m going to get over it. I don’t want to get on her bad side.
I’m a little surprised she was late the other day because she was meeting with other people about a tour. That’s kind of shady, she signed a contract with me. It’s shady that they’re trying to get her too. It’s an unspoken law that you don’t go and try and offer dancers more money to go on tour with you when they’re already on tour with someone else. I’m not worried though, she won’t go. She’s just trying to test me out to see what I was going to say. She likes everyone on the tour too much. We’ll give her more money if that’s what she wants.
Madison came in about a half an hour later, just as I was pouring the macaroni in the pan with the sauce
“What’s up Maddie?”
“Hey” she said softly as she walked to the kitchen, “It smells good”
“It tastes good too,” I said as I held up the wooden spoon to her mouth
“Yum” she smiled, “Almost as good as my lasagna”
“Almost” I laughed and wrapped my arms around her pulling her into a tight hug. I closed my eyes and took in her scent. I guess I was holding onto her a little too long.
“Justin”
“Yeah?” I let go of her and went back to stirring everything together
“Are you alright?”
“Yeah, I just… yeah”
“Do you need help?”
“It’s ready, go sit” she went to the table as I grabbed a plate and put the pasta on it, grabbed a fork and went to sit down. I placed the plate on the table and then pulled Madison onto my lap. “Do you want the first bite?”
“Uh, yeah” she smiled as I placed a forkful into her mouth, “Oh my god, you really made this?” I nodded my head, “This is so good Sexy,” she said as she grabbed a long piece of the pasta with her fingers and held it up high above her head before letting it fall into her mouth. I laughed at the fact she couldn’t wait a few seconds while I ate a forkful
“You like it?”
“I love it” she smiled, “I’m fine with sharing this, but I better get my own strawberry shortcake”
“You’ll get your own,” I laughed
“Well it’s very good, I’m impressed”
“Thank you” I said as I kissed her neck gently, “Try a meatball”
She moaned as she chewed it, “You’re a chef. You’ve been holding out on me”
“I have a whole bag of tricks” she nodded her head, “Are you alright?”
“Yeah, what do you mean?”
“Nah” I shook my head, she looks like she’s completely out of it.
“I’m excited for the shortcake” she smiled, “I only like the biscuit kind”
“I know” I nodded my head, which is why I made the biscuit kind
“How did you know?”
“You told me”
“When?”
“I don’t know” I chuckled, “I guess I pay more attention than you think I do”
“I guess so”
Why does the sex have to be so good? Seriously. If it were bad it would be so much easier to leave him. Even if it were ok, it would be easier. But it’s so good. We’ve been hooking up for about a year and it’s still so good. Isn’t it supposed to cool off a little? I kind of wish it would.
Why does he have to be so sweet? Like how did he know that I only like biscuit shortcake? He can be such an asshole and he acts like he doesn’t listen to anything I’m saying and then he goes and remembers something that I don’t even remember telling him.
I watched him sleeping next to me on his back with his arm covering his eyes. The sheet was down to his waist. I wish he wasn’t so hot. That would make things easier too. If he had a beer gut and like a lazy eye or something my life would be so much easier. Last night was amazing. I think he felt bad for making me hide out because he was really sweet all night. I needed him to be an asshole though. How am I supposed to leave him today if he’s the amazing Justin today and not the asshole?
I took a deep breath as I looked at him again and could feel that I’m about ready to cry. It’s all an act. Whenever he acts sweet and like he really cares it’s just an act. The truth is he’s an asshole and he’s using me. I know I was using him at the beginning and I was completely fine with that, but things change. I’m getting older and I need more.
“Justin” I heard her whispering my name. It wasn’t that I was ignoring her it’s just that I was half asleep. This shit takes a lot of energy from me, after we finish I just want to pass out. “Justin, are you awake?” she asked a little louder this time, “Justin” I felt her fingers gently grazing over my bare chest. I let out a little sigh or noise to let her know that I was listening, even though I wasn’t really… to let her think I was listening I guess. “I’m gonna get going”
“Alright” why did she have to wake me up for that?
“I just… I want to talk to you for a minute first”
“Ok” my eyes remained closed and honestly I don’t plan on listening to her, but if it makes her feel better to talk then go for it.
“I um… I…” she needs to spit it out, and get the hell out of my house so I can go to sleep, “I don’t think we should hook up anymore”
“What?” my eyes shot open, now she has my attention
“I’m twenty five, which is almost twenty six which is almost thirty” she just turned twenty-five a month ago, “I need to start thinking about my future. I want to have kids, I want to be a mom and drive a mini van and have a golden retriever, and I’m getting old and I need to start thinking about that”
“Your mother has you brainwashed” I looked over at her but she continued looking at the ceiling
“No, it’s not my mother it’s me. I just think I need to like… be in an actual relationship with someone. I need to like… be an adult. I mean, we’ve had fun, a lot of fun but I need to stop just having fun and start looking for more of a connection. And I’m not asking you for some kind of a commitment, I know that we don’t have that kind of a connection and I’m fine with that. I mean, even if we did I don’t think I’d even want to pursue it because we have fun together, but that’s it” she looked over at me for the first time but I quickly looked away and closed my eyes, “So I’m going to go and… go on the Usher tour and try something new” she paused, “And I’ll… I’ll see you around I guess” she paused, she wanted some reaction from me but I wasn’t giving her anything, “Thanks for everything though, seriously” she kissed my chest gently and got up and grabbed her clothes, before speaking again in a whisper “Bye Sexy”
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