Millie

Felicity is practically howling. Actual tears are running down her face, and she’s waving her hand in front of it like a fan.

“Oh my God I love that kid. That’s amazing.”

“If you like the idea so much she can do you instead of me.”

“Hey, evidence is she’s pretty good.” She reaches out and tugs one of the loose strands around my face. “And if she isn’t your stylist will fix it. You’ll be fine.”

I don’t know what moment of madness made me call Felicity, but I’m so glad I did. I asked to meet for a quick drink and some advice about Lizzie. It was one large lump of pride to swallow, but worth it. We’ve moved from a bar to dinner to another bar and we’re still going. We’re only now getting onto the actual purpose of meeting because we were so busy catching up. I can’t believe I forgot how much fun she is.

It hurts to admit I don’t know how to handle Lizzie, but I don’t. We’re the archetypal eldest versus youngest. I’m Miss Play-it-Safe and she’s gung ho to rush in where angels fear to tread. Our mindsets are so opposite it gets obstructive; we talk at cross-purposes. It’s so aggravating and… grr. Felicity seemed like my only option. They’ve been in touch all this time and she knows a portion of the gory details. She’s the only person who could give advice.

It was awkward at first. I tried to go straight onto the topic but we were too stilted. We needed to clear the air so we talked about what happened between us. It’s amazing that for how much animosity Felicity had towards me she got it so quickly. There might as well have been a light bulb over her head - when I told her my side it was like you could see the eureka moment. She squeezed my hand and told me it was alright.

And that was it, forgiven and over with. Some things never change; she’s always been like that. Some people get confused, think the way she can go from volcanic rage to being your best friend again is moody or irrational, but to me it’s one of her best qualities. She’s not precious about re-evaluating her standpoint. If she’s wrong she’ll admit it. The grudge wasn’t for the hell of it or out of habit; it was because she was still offended. 

It’s not that I’ve forgotten how petty she could be or how mean some of her comments were. She can be petty and bitchy – and bratty and demanding and all manner of things. She’s a diva. But when all’s said and done… under there is a loving person. She stuck by Lizzie all this time. Despite our issues, she didn’t hesitate to put them aside and come see me for her. All she needed to forgive me for my part in things was to know I was sorry. That’s a friend worth having, in my book. 

We didn’t stop after that. She told me her side, we hugged it out, and then we gossiped for several hours. As it turns out we’re making a night of it so it’s a good job I came almost straight from the Prada launch. I’m still dressed up with little sis’s styling magic. We are now at the latest and greatest nightspot (New York has a new one every week), sitting on stools at the bar and drinking cocktails.

“They’re going to kill me,” I moan.

“Oh please, worst they’ll do is have a little bitch fit. So who cares?” She picks up her mojito and takes a sip. “Go on - be the renegade. Besides, they’ll calm down as soon as the media outlets start lapping it up.”

“That assumes they will.”

“Of course they will.” She snorts. It’s easy for her to say as she’s flicking that glossy curtain of dark hair over her shoulder. The one that isn’t under threat from my sister.

“I’m not so sure.”

“You could walk out wearing burlap and they’d call you cutting edge. Until about three pm this afternoon that was a source of industrial grade irritation for me.”

I drop my head to her shoulder for a moment, cackling loudly. “God I missed you.”

She rubs my arm. “So you should. I’m incredible. Seriously though, this has been an eye opener for me. I mean I’ve been papped before just on my own and then with Justin, but with you tonight it’s something else. Like, worse than with him.”

“Really? Worse?”

That’s depressing. I would’ve thought he was more famous than me. Then again, I suppose media tends to like reporting on what women are wearing more than men? I don’t know.

“Lucky for me, I was so determined to one up you earlier I dressed up.” She winks and I laugh again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you always look well put together. Which, by the way, until three this afternoon pissed me off too.”

That was the right thing to say. She grins, puckers her nude painted lips and makes a kissing noise at me. She’s looking very Audrey Hepburn in comparison to the boho-meets-biker-chick Lizzie put me in earlier. It’s all flower child hair but the lips are fire engine red and the outfit’s black leather and lace. I hate to admit it given our fight but she did a bang up job.

“You know, I almost feel bad. I gave JT so much shit about working with you and now we’re all made up.”

“Well it must’ve been weird to have me professionally make out with your boyfriend.” 

“Eh.” She waves her hand again, but this time it’s flippant. “I’m sure he’s told you we were casual.”

“Yeah. I don’t get that.”

“Oh, he and I would never work.” Felicity’s nose wrinkles and she pulls a face. “Everything we like about each other would drive us insane long term but it was fun. I needed something to pass the time until Sébastien stops fucking around.”

I can’t help it; the snark spills out unbidden. “Figuratively or literally?”

“Both,” she snorts.

“Why the hell do you put up with that useless frog?” I know the frog remark is below the belt but I’m English. We’re genetically coded to resent the French, Agincourt and all that. “You’d never stand for anybody else continually buggering off to screw other women!”

“Oh it’s what he does – like, he knows he’s going to end up with me eventually, but every once in a while his mom gets in his head and makes him think he needs to go find a nice European girl. But he can never live without me too long, especially if he gets word that I’m looking happy elsewhere.” A self-satisfied smile spreads over her lips. “He haaaates Justin. Funny enough these little flits of his got a hell of a lot shorter since he’s been on the scene.”

I shake my head. “I will never get it.”

“That’s because you’re a typical British prude. It’s so cute!”

I playfully slap her wrists at her condescending tone.

“Seriously though, he’s starting to talk more long term which is why I gave it up. I wasn’t going to sit around waiting for him but if he’s finally getting his act together… though speaking of getting their act together, you know I’m waiting for JT to ask you out right?”

“What?” That was not a turn of conversation I expected. I swing my leg against the stool. “No, it’s not like that.”

“Like hell it’s not.” Felicity gives me this evil smirk. I can’t believe she’s talking like that about the possibility of me and her ex. And this after she’s admitted she was pissed about me even working with him.

“It’s not!”

“Hey, it may not be true love forever but it’s a spark and you know it.”

“I do not know that!” Okay, maybe I’m lying on my side, remembering that massage, but I know Justin isn’t interested. He’s never been anything but friendly. “Besides, Lizzie hates him for some reason.”

“You’re so clueless!” She exclaims. “Lizzie hates him because she sees it.”

“What? That makes no sense!”

“Sure it does.” She sips her drink again. “You got to remember sweetie that your sister’s been dealing for years with the way other people look at you. She’s had your dick father in one ear treating you like a she-devil and the rest of the world treating you like Helen of fricking Troy. Both comparing her to you. It’s a head fuck.”

You always know when Felicity’s starting to turn tipsy because she starts swearing more than usual. It’s her tell. Now we’re twenty seven that’s fine but when we were underage drinking at fourteen it was a problem.

This however has brought us back to our original topic, so I’m listening intently.

“She’s hypersensitive to this stuff. She can see Justin trying to work you out and she’s territorial, that’s all. She wants you to herself for a while.”

I can’t help sighing. I stir the little straw around my drink, giving the melting ice a forlorn stare. “I know, that’s why I worry about her. I know why she’s so desperate to spend all her time with me but it’s not good for her.”

“Well that’s why letting her do this internship would be good for her,” she says. “Give her some independence and a direction. And leave you free to go have a little fun with the boy.”

I nearly spit out my drink. “Did you just tell me to go shag your ex?”

“Yep. I can vouch for him, he’s good. Dancer’s hips ya know.”

“Oh my God…”

“Seriously, babe, you need to loosen up and have some fun. I can’t see you two waltzing off into the sunset together but he’s a good guy and he’ll get you out of that stuffy English shell of yours. Now I don’t hate you any more I totally approve, he’d be a very healthy fling for you. Way better than all these self-obsessed actors you’ve been dating.”

“Oh, so you kept up with my love life?” She gets a pointed glare.

“Hey, I read Tatler. And then once you’ve had a little fun I need to introduce you to Sébastien’s friend Alessandro who is tall and rich and Italian enough to be your happy ever after. But you definitely need to work out a few kinks first.”

“You know, we’ve only been friends again for…” I check my watch. “About seven and a half hours. I think it’s a bit early for you to be passing me your cast offs. Which by the way is supremely weird.”  

“Why? Everybody’s got an ex in the background. At least you know his is fabulous, clean and non-psycho.”

“I’m not convinced about that last one.”

With manicured finger nails she pinches the back of my hand. “Bitch!”

“Besides, we’re friends. He’s not interested.”

I see from her feline smile Felicity took that as an admission I am. I don’t care enough to argue that toss.

“Oh sweetie, you’re a complete fox and he’s a man. You’d only have to crook your finger and he’d try it. Or heck, don’t wait for him to try - just jump him. I bet he’d like that even better.”

You know what? I am not drunk enough for this conversation. I need another drink and given how much she’s grossing me out I think it’s only fair that Felicity buys.