“These battle scars don’t look like they’re fading, don’t look like they’ll ever go away they ain’t never gonna change.” – Battle Scars

JC stood off to the side as they lowered the wheel chair lift down. He watched as Justin carefully removed his sunglasses and look JC’s house over. “You changed the landscape?” He questioned, as JC thanked the hospital staff that had brought them. He moved around behind Justin and pushed his wheel chair towards the front door. It had taken him and Jessica most of the day to make the house look like Justin still lived in it. JC knew it was tough for her to do that, but it was obvious she loved him and would do whatever necessary to help him.

“Yeah…I just thought I would change things up a bit.” He pushed him up onto the sidewalk and took his keys out. Justin continued to take in his surroundings. Something didn’t feel right to him but he couldn’t peg exactly what it was. His eyes landed on the garage and he grabbed JC’s wrist, causing him to stop in his tracks.

“Whose car is that?” Justin questioned, motioning towards JC’s vehicle that sat parked outside the garage. He cursed himself for forgetting to drive it in the night before. So many things had taken place that in his rush he knew he didn’t tie off all the loose ends.

“It’s mine.” He replied honestly before unlocking the door and kicking it open with his foot. He inhaled a deep breath and then pushed Justin in fully. “Where’s my car?” Justin asked as they entered the foyer of the house.

“You wrecked it.” JC fought the urge to roll his eyes, but reminded himself Justin’s memory was all over the place. He lifted the crutches that were against the wall and held them out to him. “You want to try to walk around a bit?”

Justin didn’t respond right away. He sat quietly in the wheel chair as his eyes explored every visible inch of the home. Many things had changed, including furniture and the position of it. He looked over to the spot where the baby grand piano once sat, only to be disappointed to see it replaced with extra seating. He felt his palms start to get sweaty and his chest tighten. What the hell was going on?

“Are you ok?” JC  gave him a concerned look before noticing where Justin’s gaze was focused. He felt a sudden wave of panic himself, forgetting how big of a key point the piano had been. “Hey it’s ok! I just moved it. It’s in the studio down stairs.” He quickly grabbed Justin’s medication out of the overnight bag that was sitting on the couch. Fumbling with the lid, JC dispensed a small white pill into his hand before heading into the kitchen to grab a bottled water.

Justin struggled to breathe normally. “Why… why would you do that?!” He shouted, startling JC as he came back into the room. He held the pill out to him along with the water. “It looks good in the studio downstairs. Maybe when you’re out of the cast we can go down there…” He trailed off at his own words trying to hide the bitterness in his voice. He did NOT want to go near any studio with Justin. In fact he had just told a lie. There was no piano downstairs. It was gone. The ‘studio’ he claimed to have was nothing but a forgotten project with missing floor panels and an unfinished paint job.

Justin took the pill and water from JC and quickly downed it. He shook his head no at JC’s answer. “I don’t want it down there. I want it back where it was in front of the window. I liked it there, I liked watching you play it every day…and you still have to finish teaching me how.“ Justin smiled at this and then finally held his hands out for the crutches.

JC couldn’t do this. It was too much, there were too many layers of wounds being peeled back and exposed. He had gone to therapy for a while to try to heal some of it and here he was, exposed and vulnerable once again. “I’ll see if I can get someone to help me put it back this week.” JC lied again. He hoped by the end of the week Justin would snap out of it and they could all move on again and go about living their lives separately and as strangers once again.

“Good. Help me up.” He sighed, and made a painful face as JC helped him out of the chair.

------------------------FLASHBACK 6 YEARS AGO------------------------

Justin sat at the piano, his fingers now skillfully moved across it as he played intently. He wore thick black-rimmed glasses, and played a melody he had been working on for over a week. It was just after 8 PM and the sound of the door unlocking caused him to look up from where he was seated on the bench.

“I know I’m late, I’m sorry there was some accident on the 101. I brought Chinese.” JC stated, as he carried a large paper bag over to the kitchen. He set it down on the island and began taking his coat off.

“It’s cool, oh I kind of already ate.” Justin made a ‘yikes’ face and motioned to the large bowl that sat on the counter. JC eyed it and then dumped the remainder of milk and cereal bits down the garbage disposal.

“That’s ok, I’ll put yours in the fridge you can have it for lunch tomorrow.” JC sighed, and began extracting his own items from the bag. He smiled as Justin went back to playing on the piano. It prided JC greatly to know that he taught him that. “That sounds really good…did you write that?” JC asked with curiosity, as he grabbed a plastic fork out of the bag.

“Yeah I’ve been working on it all day.” Justin paused as he watched JC move about the kitchen, he side smiled and then got up from the piano bench and made his way over to him, sliding a bit in his socks for a dramatic effect. “I think I’m making some really good progress.” He confessed, as he came up behind JC and took the items out of his hand.

“Hey what are you doing? I was…” Justin’s lips making contact with his own cut him off. JC smiled into the kiss and could feel the stress of the day already begin to melt away. He laced his fingers with Justin’s as they kissed, aimlessly rubbing his finger over the gold band on Justin’s ring finger. He loved coming home and knowing that this man was his, and his alone. “You taste sweet.” JC confessed through kisses.

Justin smiled at his observation and then pulled away from him. “I’m sugar and spice and everything nice what can I say?” He rested his palms on the marble counter top. “I want to make another album JC.”

This revelation was surprising and exciting to JC. He supported Justin in every aspect of his life. Even if he had resulted to starting his own small record company and laying low out of the spotlight, it didn’t mean that Justin wanted to follow in JC’s footsteps. He had already been laying low for the past year. After JC and Justin tied the knot the younger male took to small appearances here and there but for the most part he practically stayed out of the limelight. They were living quietly and happily and JC was definitely getting used to it.

“Justin that’s amazing! Do you have enough material?” He beamed with happiness for him. This was a big step, but JC believed they could handle it.

“No not yet. I want it to be more down to Earth. I don’t want any fancy shit but it needs to be different.” Justin sighed, opening one of the containers. He peered into it and then picked out a piece of orange chicken. “You’ll help me right?” He looked towards JC with hopeful eyes.

“Of course I will. Whatever you need…” JC confessed.

----------------------END FLASHBACK-----------------------------------

Justin struggled to get the hang of the crutches. JC watched quietly as it was taking him a lifetime to get to the window. He made his way into the kitchen and took out a container of left over pizza. “Need help?” JC called out, not bothering to look back up at Justin as he tossed the container into the microwave.

“No…I can do it.” Justin replied through gritted teeth. He was still stubborn as ever, and just as impatient. JC shook his head and then practically jumped up when he heard a loud banging sound come from behind him. He turned in time to see Justin sprawled out on the floor, his crutches on either side of him. JC was quick to make his way over to him and help him back up. “Are you ok??” He was genuinely concerned that Justin had hurt himself and adding to his already relevant injuries.

Justin felt his face burn with embarrassment. He was pissed and frustrated. “Yeah I’m fine. Just bring me the fucking chair.” Justin sighed, moving away from JC’s touch when he tried to help him up.

“Your chin is bleeding.” JC pointed out before wheeling the chair over to him again.

Justin reached up to touch the blood on his chin. He looked down at it and in an instant sat up looking at JC with wild startled eyes again. “What’s going on? How did I get here?” He tried to stand again, only to be reminded of the cast on his foot. JC watched as he tried to pull himself up on the side of the couch. “Justin… take it easy ok? Just let me help you off the floor…” He moved towards him in a hesitant way.

“What are you doing here?” Justin demanded, trying to move away from JC. This was it. JC thought, as he stopped in his movements. It hadn’t taken long after all. He would call Jessica and she could come and ship Justin off to his own home again.

“I live here…” JC sighed as he reached into his back pocket for his cell phone. He kept his eyes on the other male as he grabbed the wheel chair and began pulling himself back up into it. JC searched his contacts until he found Jessica’s number.

“Why did you put the piano downstairs?” Justin asked suddenly, in a more quiet and calm tone. JC paused in his actions and lowered the phone, as he looked Justin over once more. The crazed look was gone, causing JC to sigh and put his phone away again.

“I needed it more in the studio.” He blurted out.

Justin knit his brows together and got situated in his chair again, adjusting his foot some. JC waited for him to say something, to ask more questions but much to his surprised he stayed silent, his blue eyes focused on the view out the window. “Put it back.” Justin finally whispered before stifling a yawn. “Can you help me get ready for bed?” He asked in a sheepish way. “Please baby?” He smiled at the use of his pet name for JC.

JC balled his hands up into fists at his sides. It took every thing in him to remain calm cool and collected. “Yes.” He simply replied before wheeling Justin down the hall and into the bedroom.

JC made it a point to shove some of Justin’s belongs into the closet. He even went as far as to leave some of his shoes out and one of his hoodies thrown over the back of a chair.

Helping the younger man take a bath was definitely challenging. It had been 3 years since he’d seen Justin, but it had been much longer since he’d seen him naked.

JC carefully helped Justin remove his clothes. He let his fingers run up the other mans backside and paused at the bruising that was still evident on his shoulder blades. Frowning a bit, JC then turned the water on for him in the tub. “I’ll help you in…just call me when you want to get out.”

“JC…thanks. Thanks for being patient and taking care of me. I promise when I get better I’m gonna spoil you so bad.” He smirked, holding onto the other man as he began to ease him down into the tub. Their eyes met and before JC could move away he felt Justin’s lips touch his again. This time he didn’t hold back. He kissed him in a way he hadn’t kissed him in years and it felt really good. It wasn’t supposed to feel so good.

“Justin…” JC whispered, as their noses brushed against each other. Before he could get another word out he felt Justin’s finger press lightly against his lips.

“Hush my darling don’t fear my darling…” He sang lightly, causing the goose bumps to spread over JC’s body. The soothing and familiar sound of Justin’s voice hit a new kind of sensation all together. It was exactly the right button that pushed JC completely over the edge. He felt his body start to shake and the overwhelming lump in his throat made it impossible for him to even respond. His reaction completely threw Justin for a loop, and he moved away from him a bit. “What is it? Are you mad?”

JC shook his head no and stood up. “I’m sorry I…I’m just glad you’re here. With me. “ He confessed. It was the most honest thing he had said that day.

Justin gave him a lazy smile and began lathering himself with the soap. “Where else would I be?”

JC shrugged and then back tracked out of the bathroom, leaving the door ajar as he paced in his bedroom. He stopped when he realized that Justin was singing Dancing in the Dark. JC’s hand shook as he pulled the bottle of Johnny Walker out from under his bed. His mind was swirling and the smallest of actions from Justin had completely just fucked him up.