“I cannot go to the ocean, I cannot drive the streets at night, I cannot wake up in the morning without you on my mind. So you’re gone and I’m haunted and I bet you are just fine. Do I make it that easy to walk right in and out of my life?” – Almost Lover

((3 months later))

Justin left JC’s life just as quickly as he had walked into it again. When he finally left the confidents of his room every trace of him had been erased. He thought it was the most sincere thing Justin had ever done. For once he left quietly and left no evidence that he had even been there. For a moment JC even questioned if the past couple of weeks really did happen, or if it was just some crazy fucked up dream he’d managed to have.

Shuffling out of his bedroom one morning, JC didn’t bother to shave or comb his hair. He kept the blinds closed and he drank 3 glasses of Johnny Walker before bed now, sometimes he was even daring and took an Ambien with it. The blackout sleep sessions did him lots of good.

The sound of his phone going off startled him, and he quickly looked around for it. It sounded faint and muffled and he followed the sound to the couch. Tossing pillows and cushions aside, JC got down on his knees and dug through the crevices of the sofa until he retrieved his forgotten phone. He looked it over and felt the wave of dejavu overcome him when a number he didn’t recognize flashed across his screen.

“Hello?” He answered hesitantly.

“Turn the TV on…NBC.” The voice on the other line stated before hanging up.

JC felt his face get hot instantly. The universe was obviously trying to kill him. He even considered doing it a favor and helping it along by taking two Ambien and 4 glasses of Johnny Walker later. “Justin?!”

He looked down at the low battery on his phone and the time that displayed it was 7:59PM. He wasn’t going to play anymore fucking games. He was empty and hallow. There was nothing left for anyone to take from him.

The only flaw was his curiosity. The remote sat on the coffee table and JC hesitantly picked it up, clicking the TV on, he stood in the middle of his room in dirty gray sweats and a stained white t-shirt as he cool blue eyes focused on the screen.

Justin sat comfortably on an oversized plush white couch. His leg was no longer in a cast, but still he sported a simple black brace on it. He was clean shaven and looked a million times better than JC did. This only pissed JC off even more. Why was he watching this? He knew it was too good to be true that Justin would ever leave quietly.

The camera zoomed in on him and JC watched as he shifted nervously before clearing his throat and looking directly into the camera.

“A few weeks ago I became a father. And it wasn’t until that happened that I finally understood what it meant to love someone the right way. I haven’t always been understanding of how it felt to love someone with everything you have. I am now though, and it’s a shame it took me so long to wake up.

7 years ago I looked into somebodys eyes and I asked them to marry me, because I loved them. I loved the way they made me feel. I wanted to be with them and only them, so we got married. We moved in together and shared a bed, and they…he… HE taught me how to play the piano. He made me coffee every morning and I made him a bagel with pimento because that’s what he liked. We were best friends and partners… he loved me without question or hesitation. I loved him but was ashamed to admit it.”

He paused for a moment and looked down at the baby that slept quietly in her swing.

“All the should haves and could haves can’t change or fix my mistakes. I don’t even want to ask for forgiveness, all I want is for everyone to know that I loved this man. I loved him and I hurt him because I was afraid of what all of you would think if you knew. I want him to know that I know this is probably too little too late but I will spend the rest of my lifetime trying to make it right again. I get it now. I love you, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it sooner.”

JC felt the remote slip from his fingers and hit the floor. Every hair on his body felt like it was up on ends as the camera cut off from Justin and went to Diane Sawyer babbling about how shocking the news of Justin’s admission was.

A knock on his door pulled him out of his thoughts and he quickly crossed the room to open his front door. “You told them…” JC stated quietly, his expression uncertain as he started at the younger man on his porch.

Justin shrugged his shoulders in a casual fashion. “Do you mind if we come in?” He motioned down to the small delicate baby that slept quietly in carrier.

“I um…no I…” JC stumbled over his words, but managed to step aside to let Justin in. “Why?” He finally asked softly.

Justin set the carrier on top of the coffee table and pushed the top cover back revealing the sleeping little girl in her yellow blanket and beanie. “This is Harper Grace…” Justin announced softly. JC watched as Justin gently rocked her carrier, it was obvious he was beaming with pride and joy. It was something JC had never seen in him before.

“I told Jess about us, before I admitted it publically. She was…pretty shocked and … well she was just really shocked.” Justin laughed nervously. “As much as she was disturbed I guess she still can’t deny that I’m Harpers father…” He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

JC widened his eyes and then quickly shook his head no. “Are you out of your mind? You have a big ass house and a career…a wife a family. What the hell are you even doing here Justin?” JC stole a glance at the baby then looked back towards Justin demanding some type of answer. “This isn’t a game…”

“No JC it’s not. I have been trying to forget about you, to let you go like you asked. I realized that I didn’t want to though. I was tired of lying and denying. When Harper was born it was like somebody finally turned on the lights. I didn’t care anymore about what everyone thought. I love you… and that’s all that matters anymore.” He frowned a bit at his final admission.

JC stood before him in utter completely silence. “What is it you want…?”

Justin closed the space between them and pulled JC to him by the end of his shirt. Their eyes met and he smiled a small smile. “You. Be with me…I’m sorry it took me so many years to open my fucking eyes and finally see what we had.” He pleaded before pressing his lips against his.

JC resisted and shook his head no, even though he didn’t want to end the kiss. “Justin…I really can’t take another fucking blow. I won’t survive the next one.”

“You won’t have to….” He extended his finger and pressed it against JC’s lips, his eyes then caught sight of the beautifully new baby grand that sat in its appropriate place. “You kept it.”

JC shrugged and then nodded. “Yeah, I did.”

Justin let out a small laugh before kissing JC again. He let his hands fall into familiar places and for once in a long time JC felt the layers melt off and the warmth returned to his body again.

“I wanna come home…” Justin admitted in-between kisses.

“What about…-“ JC looked over towards the innocent sleeping baby.

“Well I’m kind of a packaged deal…I get her every other week…what do you say?” He moved his kisses down JC’s neck and onto his collarbone. “Am I still yours?”

JC laughed and smiled at Justin’s inquiring question. The innocence and uncertainty was amusing to him. “You were mine and you still are. Even without the ring you’re still mine.” He admitted quietly.

It was the final confirmation Justin needed, and with that he easily pulled JC over to the piano bench with him.

“Lets make that official again…”

“Justin what if this doesn’t…-” He shut up as soon as he felt his finger tip against his lips.

“Do I have to sing it to reassure you?” He questioned with raised eyebrows.

JC shook his head no. “You don’t have to, but I want you to.”

Justin pressed his nose against JC’s and they both closed their eyes, enjoying the feel of each others company again after so many years. “Hush my darling don’t fear my darling…” His fingers moved through the mess of JC’s hair as he parted lips and quietly sang against his ear. “It’ll all be alright.”

For first time since the start of their relationship, JC actually knew that it was true. They would be alright.

----THE END----