A few weeks later, Johanna was out with Lance.  He'd finally convinced her to see his new house in LA and go out on the town.  They let loose, having a few drinks.  Their dancing got a little raunchy and when they stumbled out the back door of the club later that night, flashes in their face.  They laughed as they clung to each other, getting in the cab. 

The next morning Johanna was amused to find herself all over the papers.  They'd finally decided to stop questioning if Lance was gay and decided to label her his girlfriend.  They laughed about it over breakfast and decided to go out again that night with a few of Lance's friends.  When they walked in the room, the place was jam packed.  They mingled, taking it easier than they had the night before.  Johanna was speaking with one of Lance's gay friends, having a great conversation about makeup and possibly becoming a makeup artist.  She had to lean close to his ear to talk, the music was so loud.  

Up in the VIP, Justin was boiling.  He'd come out tonight after Trace had pushed him to be social again.  He knew the moment she walked in.  He could sense her.  When he found her with his eyes, he was already pissed.  He'd seen the stories about Lance and her the night before and there she was with him again.  No she was practically licking some guy's ear right in front of him.  He hadn't realized that finding herself meant getting around.

Johanna felt eyes on her and as she looked around the club she couldn't find who.  She finally looked up, noting the balcony area and saw him.  His jaw was locked in a tight line and the hand that wasn't holding his beer was clenched.  He was burning a hole right through her. She smiled and waved, figuring he must have just been having a bad night.  His evil smirk in return and tip of his bottle in her direction let her know the anger was for her.  She wasn't sure what she'd done but she brushed it off, her mood now soured.  They had a flight in the morning.  Mollie was having a baby shower, they were all invited, and she didn't want to miss it.  She'd been getting back on track after the whole Justin drama and was starting to feel better about herself.  She'd actually been looking forward to seeing him again.

Justin had been having a rough couple of weeks.  He couldn't focus much so having the Shrek movie, where he didn't need to be seen, was a great way for him to work but stay hidden.  He'd been hoping that seeing her again at Mollie's shower would spark something but all she'd sparked tonight was anger.  He picked up his phone, sending out a text before slipping it into his pocket.  He was done here.  He threw some bills on the table and headed out the door.

Mollie's house was buzzing with excitement.  It was one of the last days Mollie could be at home before they were going to bring her into the hospital for monitoring and everyone was in the mood to celebrate.  Johanna mingled and helped make things run smoothly.  When she turned and nearly ran into Justin, it was less than the pleasant reunion she'd hoped for.  He stepped back, apologizing for the bump.  Johanna looked up and saw he was with a tall, thin, and blonde.  Cameron.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there," Johanna said politely.

"It's fine.  Nice to see you Joey."

"Yeah, good to see you too.  I better go, I've got cupcakes in the oven," she muttered.

When she got to the kitchen, she leaned against the fridge, a hand on her heart.  In her heart she knew it was a possibility that he would move on but she thought with the way they left it, he wouldn’t.  When she got her breathing under control, she got back to getting things ready.  She pulled the cupcakes out of the oven, leaving them on top to cool.  She could hear the shower games getting started so she slipped in, finding a seat off to the side where she could observe and not join in.  Whenever she saw an empty tray or a crumpled napkin, she grabbed it to refill or throw away.  The busier she was, the less time she had to watch him with Cameron.  She was icing the cupcakes in the kitchen when he found her.

“How are you?”  There was venom in his voice. 

“I’m okay.  Taking life day by day…how are you?  What are you up to?”  Polite conversation with him was like someone twisting a knife in her heart.

“I took the Shrek movie.  Just trying to stay busy.  I see you’ve been hanging out with Lance.”

“Yeah, he’s been a good friend to me.”

“A little too good from what I hear.”

“Not sure what you’re hearing but he’s been helping me figure things out.”

“If by figuring things out, you mean fucking you behind my back…”

“Watch your words!” she shouted.  “I’m not doing anything with Lance.  He’s strictly a friend.  Unlike Cameron apparently.  I’m sorry you were given the wrong impression but I asked you to give me time to myself.  I don’t need to report to you.”

“No, you know what you don’t.  But I’m not going to sit around and get played, waiting for you.”

“What you choose to do is your choice.  I’m not dating anyone, I want to work on me.”

“Did it mean anything to you?”  His voice turned sad, almost desperate.

“Yes Justin, it did.  And if you knew me or Lance at all you’d know that you’ve got the wrong idea.”

He just shook his head at her and walked away.  Johanna collected herself before following him out.  She made it through the rest of the day with a smile and headed home.

Justin was still angry.  What she said made sense; her and Lance weren’t doing anything but that’s what bothered him.  She wanted to be free from him but she was going out and having fun.  He was having a tough time putting the two together in his head.  He went back to LA angry with himself and angry with Johanna.  Some days were good, others were bad and still others were black holes. 

On his good days, he was productive.  He linked up with an old friend, Tony Lucca, from the Mickey Mouse Club and wrote music with him.  He booked movies and took acting class.  He did charity events and explored business opportunities.  On those days, he could get through the day with barely any thoughts of her.

On his bad days he was reckless.  He sought comfort in the arms of other women, mainly Cameron.  He blew off commitments and picked up his phone many times to call her; always ending up with it smashed in pieces across the room.

The black holes were dark.  He drank to the point of black out.  He got in fights for no reason.  His tried drugs, not finding any of them helpful but in these dark times he felt he had no reason not to try and escape.  He didn’t care who saw him fuck up, photographers had a field day.  It was those days he slipped, allowing himself to dial her number, even to just hear her voicemail.  Most nights he was carried home by Trace; or if Trace had convinced him to stay home, Trace babysat.  He managed to make it through, image slightly tarnished but on the whole, he was still universally loved.

Johanna’s days were different.  She found productive ways to occupy her time.  She started sitting in on some of the classes at the dance studio.  It was a great way to channel her energy and reconnect with something she loved when she was a teenager.  She’d grown up dancing with Mollie but her father had convinced her that she needed to focus on something practical in college.  She signed up for some classes at the local college.  It was nice to start learning again.  She wanted to tell Justin this at the baby shower but he’d been so hostile.

Of course her bad days were filled with inescapable pictures and news articles about Justin.  He was acting out and it stared her in the face no matter where she went.  The times he called, she fought her urge to answer.  He had to deal whatever way he knew how but his antics hurt her.  He would see him out with other girls and get messages on her phone that he was sorry and they didn’t do anything.  Trace kept her informed, so she could feel better about not answering his calls.

When Mollie went into the hospital full time, Johanna had even more to occupy her time.  Though he didn’t want to, someone needed to force JC to go home and shower and sleep.  She liked being a caretaker.  It gave her purpose and made her feel good.  She filled her days and for a while, she managed to live a life independent from others.  She gave Mollie and JC their time to experience the pregnancy and she spent time alone.  She didn’t mind it but it gave her time to think.

She wanted someone who was as mature as she was.  Justin’s actions as of late weren’t showing that.  Despite her feelings towards him, she wouldn’t allow herself to even imagine being with him again until he proved he was better. She knew he was filming movies and doing some guest song appearances.  She kept up with him.  She just didn’t want him to know she was checking up on him.