July 18, 2014
The Palladium
Los Angeles, CA
I open my eyes, after taking in a huge breath.
“You ready?”
I look back when I feel Daryl’s hand on my shoulder. I know I should be. This is what I’ve been working for, but...just knowing that he’s out there somewhere, hurt beyond recognition, makes me want to call the whole thing off.
But I know I can’t.
“I...I guess.”
“You can’t dwell on it.” He comes around to the front of me, puts a hand on each of my shoulders and smiles at me. It’s that encouraging one, that tells me I can do anything, face the world, despite how confused I am. “You have one shot at this thing. There’s more than just an audience watching you tonight, Sterling. Clive is here. Clive Davis. Everything else, you can focus on it later, and I know that sucks but you know how this business works, and I’ve warned you. It’s time to put the shit behind you and get yourself where you belong in the world.”
I nod. I know all of that, but that doesn’t mean it’s right...that I’m putting him second after he put me first, so many times. I want to wrap my arms around him and tell him I love him more than anything. That the rest...it doesn’t even matter.
But I can’t.
“C’mon.”
He puts the mike in my hand and wills me forward. I wrap my fingers around the cool metal, my vice, my only comfort, and shake out my hands, trying to shake out my pain with it.
But it’s still there.
And then I see him...standing there by the curtain, his arms crossed in that defiant stance, waiting for me.
“You coming?”
I lick my lips, and then...I walk forward, and over to him. He smiles, and I force one for him as he squeezes my hand.
I have to face my destiny tonight, because I owe myself that much, even if it means...I’ll never see him again.
He’ll always be the one who got away.
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