March 23, 2013

8:00 am

Kahala and Islander Apartments

10121 Buford Ave, Inglewood, CA 90304

I can still remember the first time I knew what I was meant to do.  Five years old, sitting on the floor in the living room, singing along with the television while I swayed from side to side.  Somehow, my young mind could comprehend that I was singing in time and in tune with the music...that I was always able to.

And since that time, I haven’t been able to stop singing.  But I’ve also realized that dreams like those don’t come easy, especially when you have bills, a need for food, and rent looming over your head all the time.

In my case, I’ve had to worry about those things since I was old enough to understand what happens when you don’t earn a paycheck.  I’m twenty six now, been working odd jobs since I was thirteen, making just enough money to put food on the table, and keep the lights on wherever we were living.  I’ve also been taking care of my mother...

Because she definitely can’t take care of herself.

“Sterling.”r32;r32;The voice, naturally, is weak, and soft.  She’s hungover, but that’s nothing new.  Sighing, I drop the laundry basket and call back to her.  “Yeah, mom?”

“Can you get me some water, baby?”

I blow out a long breath.  “Yeah.”  I plod over to the sink and fill a glass before going into the bedroom.  “Mom, you were out really late last night,” I say, as I hand it to her.  “I thought you were going to try and cut back on bar time.”

She shrugs, but doesn’t look at me as she takes a sip.  “Roger wanted to go out.”

“And who paid for the entertainment?”

“I had extra.”

I shake my head roughly.  “Is that why forty bucks is missing from my wallet?”

“I’ll pay you back, honey.  Next disability check.”

It’s the same shit, every week.  “Yeah, I’m sure.”  I walk around the room, gathering a weeks worth of dirty laundry off of her floor.  “Do you think you can throw your stuff in the machine? I’m going to be late.”

No answer.

“Mom?”

No answer.

I whirl around, and sigh.  She’s passed out again.  “See you tonight.” I say it sadly, and place a soft kiss on her forehead, before heading off to face the world at Bagel King .  I grab my purse before running out the door, nearly missing my bus.  It takes the full twenty minute ride for me to catch my breath and push the anger and resentment towards my mother out of my system.

“Hey girl.”  Cassie smiles at me slightly as I bang through the door.  “How is she today?”

“Well I’m forty bucks poorer.” I flash my co worker a smile as I punch the clock.  “And I don’t know how we’re going to pay the rent, because of last weeks escapade.  Other than that, she’s mother of the year.”

“You so need a break.”  She comes around the counter and helps me tie my apron in the back.  “Why don’t you come out to Backstage tonight?”

“You know I can’t.”r32;
“Drinks are on uh-us,” she sings and giggles in my ear.  “Besides, it’s karaoke night.  You need to save us from the singers from hell.  Lonnie’s been asking when you were going to come back in.  He says if he has to hear me and Sharice sing the Macarena one more time, he’ll quit.”

“I’ll think about it,” I laugh.

“Just come on...”r32;r32;“Excuse me, ladies?”

A gentleman’s voice hits my ears, and when I turn around, I come face to face with a tall, muscular, black man.  The expression on his face is telling me he’s been waiting too long for his bagel, and with a little sigh I make my way over to the register.

“Sorry...can I help you sir?”

“Yeah, two plain, low fat cream cheese toasted, and two coffees.  Make it to go.”

I just nod, and punch his order in, making sure not to charge him for the coffees since I let him stand there for so long.  “Six eighteen. No charge for the coffees.”

For the first time, he smirks a little.  “No charge, huh?  I didn’t wait that long.”

I shrug, and smile at him as he hands me some cash.  “I still feel bad.”

“Well, I appreciate the good service.  Say, were you two saying something about karaoke tonight?  I’m not from around here, and I’ve been trying to find a place to see some local talent.  My band had a little mishap. We need a backup singer, and I’m trying to find one more person to audition.”

“I was!” Cassie says excitedly and rushes over with the man’s order.  “They have it at this little bar me and the girls go to sometimes, Backstage Bar and Grill in Culver City.  As far as talent goes...it’s kind of lacking.  Sterling is an amazing singer...but we can never get her out of the house.”

I nudge her gently in the ribs and send her a warning glance.  “She’s exaggerating,” I laugh, for the first time taking a closer look at him.  He really doesn’t seem to be from around here, with his fancy shirt and designer jeans.  He looks well off, and I wish I was bolder like Cassie.  I’d love to know what he does for a living.  Maybe he could give me some insight to how the hell I can get out of this stupid town, and away from my drunk of a mother.

“Well, I’d love to hear you sing,” he laughs.  “You should come out tonight.  I’ll buy you and your friends a round of drinks...you know, to make up for the free coffee.”

“I um...”r32;r32;“Say yes,” he laughs.  “That’s all you gotta say girl.”

And something is telling me to do it, so I go with my gut.  “All right.  I’ll be there.”

“See, that wasn’t so hard was it?”

“Yay!” Cassie squeals a little and grips my shoulders tight.  “Finally!”

“Here’s my card.” He says, as he laughs at Cassie’s antics.  “Call me if something comes up.  We can reschedule.”

I look down at it, as he walks away from me.

“What’s it say?” Cassie leans over my shoulder to peer at the card.  “What’s his name?”

“Daryl Ambers.  Musical director and Producer.”  I shake my head slightly.

“Musical director for what?” She scoffs.

But I’m just as stumped as she is.  “I have no idea.”r32;
“Let’s google.”  She whips her IPhone out of her back pocket and quickly types in the name, a curious gleam in her blue-grey eyes.  “Oh wow, Sterling.”

“What?”

“Seriously...this guy has worked with everybody.”  She holds the phone in my face, and after a few minutes of scanning his extensive resume, I find that she’s correct.

She holds a hand over her heart.  “Fuck, Sterling.  What if he’s like...scouting you...”

“C’mon.” I laugh and shake my head.  “The guy is from out of town.  He’s probably just trying to find a last minute vocalist for a gig.  You heard him too, he already has people coming to the audition.”

“You’re going.  I swear.  Nobody can sing Whitney Houston like you can.”

“What about Whitney Houston?”

“She passed away, duh.”

“Oh God, Cass…really?”

“Well I’m just saying…”

“Hey can I have some service girls?”

I groan.

“You’re going.”  Cassie tells me, pointing a finger at me as she heads over to the register.  
r32;I stare down at the card.

Really?

It’s just too simple.

Too good to be true.

But, what the hell do I have to lose?
**************
March 23, 2013

8:30pm

Backstage Bar and Grill

10400 Culver Blvd, Culver City, CA 90232

“Girl I love it!” Sharice grins and pulls me into a tight hug.  “Where did you get that dress?”

“Out of my moms closet.  I’m lucky. She still dresses like she’s my age.” I roll my eyes and let her pull me into the dingy bar.  

Mom was passed out on the couch again, and Roger was sitting in the recliner, nursing a beer out of the six pack on the floor, and belching while he flipped through the channels.

“Can you make sure she wakes up and gets into bed,” I asked him, disgusted.

He glanced at me.  “She’s your momma, ain’t she?”

I couldn’t say anything to him.  I just walked out.  

I hate him.  I don’t hate my mother.  I hate what she does to herself, what she’s done to my future, but I can’t hate her like I hate him.

“Oh my gosh,” Cassie squeals the moment I sit down.  “He came, Ster! He’s getting us a round of drinks right now! What are you gonna sing?”

“I think she should sing Whitney,” Sharice sighs.  “I love when you sing her stuff.”

I roll my eyes.  “I’m not singing that for this guy.  He’ll laugh me out of the bar.”
r32;“Whatever.  You could win a grammy with that voice,” Cass nods and smiles.  “It’s about time you got someone to notice you.”

“He hasn’t even heard me yet…”

“Here you go ladies.”  Daryl smiles as he returns to the table with the drinks in his hands.  He passes them out to my friends before taking a seat and eyeing me.  “Glad you decided to show,” he smiles.  “What are you gonna sing?”

I sit back and study him.  “Why are you so interested, anyway?”

He shrugs.  “Just trying to find some new talent, that’s all.”

There’s more to this.  He’s not looking for someone to include in his mediocre band.  He does more, he knows more people, and he’s gearing up for something.  My question is, why the hell would he be interested in watching me sing, when there’s a million other people out there with more experience?  

The KJ announces that it’s time to start karaoke for the night, and for singers to put their songs in whenever they’re ready.  I’m so unsure of Daryl that I just sit there, but then he smiles and leans forward.

“Let me just say, if you’re as good as your friends claim you are, it’s going to be in your best interest to get up there and sing something for me.  Preferably R&B, and please, no Whitney Houston.  Not tonight.”

I nod very slowly.

“Sterling,” Cassie whines.  “Go sing!” She guzzles her drink.

Oh God.  I feel like I’m auditioning for the X Factor or something.  I did that last year.  We slept outside the Los Angeles forum for three days, got drenched in the rain, and they picked the guy who couldn’t sing to go through to the next round instead of me.  It’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever done, and I convinced myself the entire music industry was that way.

“Go sing!” Sharice pipes up.  “Go on girl!”

With a harsh sigh, I push myself up from the table and walk up to the KJ, picking my song of choice, If I Were A Boy, by Beyonce, because it’s not too slow, not too fast, and shows off my range incredibly.  Every time I sing it, everyone tells me that I sound just a like a black girl.  I’ve been told it’s rare, for a white girl to have that kind of voice.  I don’t really think about it.  I just like to sing.

The KJ says I can go first, since I’m the only one that has put a song in.  I hate it when I come on a slow night.  Being the only singer is never fun, but tonight, it might just be what I need to impress this guy.

I’m handed the mic, the karaoke track counts me in, and then…I just let go.  I sing like I normally would for my friends, and they cheer me on and sway to the music.  At certain points I look at Daryl.  He’s staring at me, an intense gaze in his eyes.  I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but I try not to think about it as I lose myself in one of my favorite songs.  It’s a blur, and then it’s over.  The four people inside the dingy place clap, and that includes my friends.  I take my seat again, and have a sip of water.

“I told you!” Cassie squeals.  “Sterling is just…amazing!”

“Whooo girl,” Sharice says, cackling as she throws an arm around me.  “Who needs Beyonce?”

Daryl is quiet.  I stare at him.  I don’t know what to say.

He hated it.  He must have.

“So I want you to come to an audition tomorrow,” he says quickly, not smiling, just drawing a pen out of the inner pocket of his jacket.  “It’s important that you’re exactly on time.  We start at ten and we’ll probably go til about three or four.  Can you make it?”

“I…”  I look at my friends.  They’re holding their breaths in anticipation.  I think they’re more excited about this than I am.  I’m more cautious than anything.  I don’t trust people very easily.  “What’s it for?”

He sighs.  “I’m afraid if I tell you, you won’t come.”

“Ooo what is it!” Sharice yells.  “Is it LL Cool J? Oh my God! Girl…I want some LL!  You better say yes!”

I smirk but I never laugh.  “If you don’t tell me what it’s for, I still won’t come.”

He leans back.  “Justin Timberlake needs another backup vocalist for his tour,” he nods.  “I’m his musical director for the tour, and I’ve already put together a mass audition for tomorrow, but…I figured, anyone that gives me a free coffee, deserves some recognition.  I’m glad I came.”

I just stare.
r32;“Justin Timberlake!” Cassie slaps her hand down on the table.  “Oh SHIT, Ster!”

“I have to say, I’m glad you aren’t having the same reaction as your friend,” he laughs.  “No offense,” he says to Cassie.  “What do you say, Sterling?  How about it?”

I shrug.  “Why would he want to bother with me?”

“I don’t think you realize what you just did up there, with that cruddy microphone in your hand, girl.”

“She never does,” Sharice sighs.  “Girl, you better go.  Damn, I love JT.”  

I think about my mom.  I need to watch over her tomorrow, or else she’ll drink herself into oblivion once again.  I’ve been trying to get her to clean up so she’ll be able to get off this depression kick and get better so she can get a job.  “I have to…make sure my mom is okay.  I can’t leave her alone.”

He shrugs.  “Bring her.”

Damn this guy is serious.  Was I really that good? Have my friends been right all along when they’ve said this is what I should be doing with my life.  “I…”

“Say yes.”

“Yes.”

“Good.”  He finally smiles, and scribbles something down on a napkin.  “This is the address, and my number.  Call me if you get lost, all right?  I want you to listen to these songs from Justin. The entire track of Until the End of Time, and the background vocals on Pusher Love Girl.  We’re going to try some things.”

“Uh…okay.”

He nods, gets up, leans over and gives me a kiss on the cheek.  “See you tomorrow.  Nice meeting you girls.”  He waves to my friends, finishes his beer, and then he leaves us.

My friends proceed to squeal their asses off, and yeah, I guess I get a little bit excited, but at the same time I can’t snap out of the daze I’m in.  I work at a bagel place, my mom is a drunken mess…

And I’m going to audition for Justin Timberlake’s world tour tomorrow.