Chapter 5

It’s been two days since Justin and I found out we are married. An hour after I left him in his bedroom my mom called in tears about what she had read in the news paper asking if it were true. I couldn’t tell her anything; I hung up on her and turned my phone off. I haven’t talked to Justin in two days he went to the studio around the time my mother started to call and hasn’t come back to his place. I’ve given it a lot of thought and still think we should ignore the press on this, at least for a while, until we can figure out what we are going to do.

I’m sitting in the car with Lynn; we are heading from the airport to go back to my parents place. I’m not sure what I’m going to say to my mom, I know she is very upset with me. She’s always pictured her baby daughter having a big white wedding with at least 400 people in attendance, one of those week long weddings that cost way too much. That’s the kind of wedding my mom has dreamed of me having, not some spur of the moment drunk off your ass marry your best friend alone in Vegas wedding.

“You’re awfully quite over there pumpkin.” Lynn smiled at me from the drivers’ seat of her car.

“You’ve known my mom for a long time… you know how she is… I’m afraid to go home.” I let out a slight chuckle looking over at her. She pushed a few curls behind her ear and gave a half smile.

“Don’t worry about your mom; your dad is the scary one. I’m worried what your brothers are going to do to Justin.” Lynn laughed as she made a turn towards my mom’s house.

I can’t believe I did this, I just can’t believe I fucked up this much. I can’t believe Lynn isn’t yelling at Justin or me, I can’t believe she’s laughing about all of this. I mean Justin and I have done some stupid stuff in the past but not this, not getting pregnant, or married.

“Why are you so calm?” I finely ask as my mother’s house comes into view. I look over at Lynn taking a deep breath as we pulled to a stop.

Lynn put the car in park and turned to look at me; she smiled softly and grabbed my hand. “Taylor I’m just happy it was with you and not some random girl.” She said squeezing my hand.

“You’re mad though?” I asked as we got out of the car

I needed her to be a little mad, it only seemed right that she would be a little mad at us. I know I’m mad at my self for doing this for not being on my stupid birth control for being stupid enough to go to Vegas in the first place. Trace warned me, he told me Justin was checking me out before him and Meredith broke up.

“Let’s not worry about that right now. Let us go talk with your family before those cameras across the street take any more pictures of us.” Lynn stated grabbing my hand and pulling me into the house.

Everyone was in the kitchen eating dinner when we walked in; I could hear my mom yelling at one of my brothers for doing something stupid. Lynn cleared her throat which caused everyone to look in our direction. I felt like throwing up when I saw the look on my mothers face, she was so upset with me. I couldn’t hold back my tears; I just stood there crying as my mom took me into a tight hug. She shushed me and lead me to the her bedroom so we could talk in private

“I’m so sorry momma” I sobbed into her arms as she hugged me tightly, “so sorry momma” I repeated with a hiccup.

She didn’t say one word to me for at least half an hour, she just held me tight as I cried like a big fucking baby. I took a few calming breaths and looked at her, I pushed my tears off my face and pulled out of the hug she had been giving me.

“I know I screwed up big time, I didn’t mean to do this… you know me… and with Justin of all people… what was I thinking even going for New Years?” I rambled on as a few tears slipped out.

My hands were shaking slightly from all the crying I had been doing. “I’m sorry for being so stupid momma.” I sighed as she rubbed my back.

“Sweetie I’m not mad… A little upset but not mad.” She shocked me with this information.

I looked at her like she had two heads, how could she not be mad she is my mother right? My mother would have gone off on me the second we were alone for how irresponsible I was, how she didn’t raise me to get pregnant or have sex before marriage!

“Wha…”

“This is a big thing and I didn’t expect you to get married the way you did. But it has already happened and you can’t take back a pregnancy as long as I have anything to say about it.” She laughed lightly at me; she tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear. “I understand that Justin is in the public eye so everything you two do will be published in some magazine. So my question is what are you two going to do?” My mother asked

I lie back on the bed and run my hands through my hair, “Momma I don’t know, and I told Justin we should just ignore it for now.” I reply moving my hands to my face. “I can’t believe I married him” I groan moving to my side to look up at my mom.

“Well the sex must have been great for you to commit!” She laughed bending down and kissing my forehead.

And it was; only we were drunk and got married before we had sex. So the only excuse we have is we were drunk and how does that look? If people find out about that they’ll think I got my best friend so drunk that he didn’t know what he was doing just so I could get knocked up and take his money. I know how his fans think; they are like rabid dogs and attack when ever they can. I’ve been part of fan gossip since Justin got famous with ‘NSYNC I was once attacked by some girl because she saw me eating lunch with him.

“Momma what am I going to do?” I ask as I suck in my bottom lip and chew on it.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, “Well do you love him?” She asks me, taking my hand into hers.

And that is the one question that no one has asked me, do I love him? Of course I love him I have always loved him. I just never got my chance with him, we fooled around a few times when we were about 15 years old but that lasted a few days and he went off to another audition and then another and another.

I sit up and stretch my arms above my head, “You know the answer to that stupid question.” I answer looking over at her. She’s trying to hide her smile with a fake yawn, so I stand up and pace the room a little.

I pace the room thinking about how I want to have a first date with him and all those things and I just can’t help but think it’ll never happen. I’m not the type of girl he goes for; his type is Meredith; fake blonde hair, fake boobs and a fake attitude. My pacing stops when someone knocks at the bedroom door my mom gets up and pulls it open a crack to reveal my brother David.

“Justin is here.” He spoke quietly to my mom.

So I told my mom I was going to the studio, I grabbed Trace and call my body guard and went to a small bar and drank until Trace and Dave; my body guard; carried me to my car.

“Don’t take me home.” I groaned out in the back seat as Trace drove down the highway.

“You have no where else to go Jay.” I replied switching a lane making me feel like I was going to vomit.

“Fuck Trace, take me to a hotel or something I can’t go back right now.” I snap leaning against the door looking out the window at all the cars passing by.

I don’t know what to say to my mom or Taylor; mom knows I’ll do anything for Taylor but I’m not sure Taylor knows that, and I’m not sure how to let her know this stuff. She’s been one of my closest friends since we were too young to remember not to mention that our mothers have been best friends forever. I never dreamed of falling for the damn girl, but I guess that is what happens when get a taste of something and then you can’t have it again.

My thoughts were interrupted by my cell phone ringing, I rolled my eyes at the name scrolling across, and of course Meredith would be calling after reading the papers.

“What?” I snap into the phone

I could hear the anger in her voice, “How could you fucking do this to me you piece of shit!” She yelled out causing me to pull the phone away from my ear and Trace to look back at me.

“Do what to you? You broke up with me!” I yell back about to throw the phone out the window.

“We just broke up and you go and marry that little bitch! It’s only been two months!” Her voice got a little softer which meant she was on the verge of tears.

I sigh slightly when I noticed that we pulled up to a hotel, Trace put the car in park and ran into get us a room. I ran a hand over my face and spoke softly into the phone.

“Mere, please don’t talk that way about Taylor.” I say waiting for Trace to give the go ahead to come into the hotel.

“You were cheating on me with her weren’t you? That fucking whore how dare she sleep with a taken man, how dare…”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP! Don’t talk about my wife like that, I didn’t cheat on you! Shut up and leave me be. I’m so sick and tired of you running your mouth like I give a damn about you any more. I don’t honey so fuck off!” I scream as I shut the phone closed and hop out of the car towards Trace.

Trace hands me a key as I walk past him to get on the elevator, he went to go park the car. As I ride alone up to my room I can’t help but think about what I just said, my wife, it sounds so strange saying it but at the same time it excited me. I also can’t help but think that I fucked Taylor’s life up some how, she went to college she has a job lives in her own apartment in Memphis, has her own life with her own friends in it and then we go and get drunk and married not to mention she’s pregnant.

When I got into my room I opened the mini fridge and started drinking anything with alcohol in it until I passed out. I didn’t wake up until nearly one in the afternoon. I sat up and looked around; I am on the floor with a throw blanket to cover me. What a great friend Trace is, can’t even get me to my bed.

“You know you threw up a few times last night.” I jumped at his voice and looked over towards the door, Trace had a bag full of food and some coffee.

“I wish I would have died for a while.” I mumbled as I got off the ground, stumbling a little, I was till drunk from my drinking the night before.

“I got you some coffee for the hangover.” He handed me the cup, “Also your mom called, she and Taylor landed safely in Memphis about an hour ago.” He added causing me to choke a little on my coffee.

Shit that’s right they were flying back home today, Taylor has to work tomorrow and my mom had things to do. I look over at Trace and he is just staring at me, which made me a little nervous.

“What are you going to do?” He finely asked as he took donut out of the bag he was holding and took a bite.

“What she wants to do; ignore it.” I say with a shrug of my shoulders, “I don’t have anything planed for the next few months I’ll go home and see about getting her to fall in love with me.” I added walking for the shower.

“Good luck with that, she has a big iron box around her heart from the first time she fell in love with you.” He commented causing me to stop dead in my tracks. The first time she fell in love with me? What is he talking about she never loved me before.

“Wha?” I turn to look at him, He sat up and looked at me knowing he wasn’t supposed to let that slip, knowing that I wasn’t supposed to find out Taylor used to be in love with me. “When and you better fucking tell me!” I snapped

“Come on man you seriously didn’t know? Do you really think she just wanted to lose it to you just to get it over with? No teenage girl is like that, so she was in love with you, and then you left and it took her forever to get over you.” He spoke softly looking down at the floor.

“FUCK!” I shouted as I went into the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

Shit, fuck, God damn, I’m such a fucking asshole I knew I KNEW there was more to it when she asked me to have sex with her in high school. I showered and got ready as fast as I could, Trace and I went to my house as he called the airlines to get us a last minute flight to Memphis. 5 hours later we are knocking on her families’ front door.

“You piece of shit!” Chris, Taylor’s brother yelled grabbing me by the collar as he opened the door and throwing me against the front door. I have always been afraid of him, and now I know why if he can pick me up I don’t want to know what else he can do.

“Christ Chris let me go!” I whimper out as his old on me got tighter.

“I knew you were a piece of shit when I caught you two 10 years ago and now, now you go and knock up my baby sister!” He yelled balling his hand into a fist, “Give me a reason not to kick your ass!” He demanded as David, Taylor’s other brother came around the corner.

“I… I…I lo…love her.” I stammer out looking at David for some kind of help then looking at Trace who had a big smile on his face.

“That’s not good enough.” He said as his arm reeled back, I closed my eyes waiting for him to punch me.

“Let him go Christopher.” Elizabeth, Taylor’s mom spoke as he let go of me. She walked over to me and gave me a tight hug, “Taylor is in my bedroom.” She smiled patting my shoulder as I took off towards the bedroom.

I cracked the door open and my heart ached a little when I saw her sitting on the bed eyes puffy and nose red. I took a deep breath and walked in, shutting the door quietly she looked up at me a little shocked to see that I was there. Two strides later and I smashed my lips into hers pushing her back on the bed, she struggled for a few seconds then wrapped her arms around my neck.

“I love you.” I sighed against her lips resting my weight on my arms as I stared down at her.

“We’ll ignore it?” She asked running her hand up and down my back. And my heart broke a little when she didn’t say it back; I nodded my head and pushed my lips into hers again.