Joke's On You

To say that Joey was the fun one was an understatement. He thrived on fun and laughter and everything that went along with it. He did whatever he could to make people laugh, to make people feel better, even if it was spouting out bad joke after bad joke to the point that others wanted to beat him senseless with them.

Cadence, unfortunately, seemed to become the new target of his jokes. How many times had she arrived to do her work to find him appearing to be crushed under heavy weights that he easily lifted off as soon as she approached just to crop dust her? How many times had he pretended to pull a muscle in his arm or leg just to entrap her in a bear hug complete with a noogie? How many times had had to keep herself from strangling him?

Too many times to count.

But he always made her laugh and she was a willing participant to listen to his latest joke or riddle. It was a welcome change when she wasn’t constantly buried in school work and their files detailing their progress fitness wise.

“Hey guys!” She cheerfully greeted the boys as she walked into the gym one morning. She smiled and gave her friends a short wave as they all chorused a greeting in response. “How are you all feeling today?”

“I’m in so much pain,” Justin declared loudly. He then squeezed his eyes shut. “And did we have to get up so early? Would it have been a big deal if we waited another hour or two or four?”

“Not for me, I have to go over your progress reports,” she explained. “But it would be for you guys. I mean, you have a promotional shoot later today, don’t you?”

“Yeah, but it’s just taking pictures.” Chris lazily waved his hand. “It’s just our jobs. It’s just our careers. It’s just our livelihoods.” Justin elbowed him in the side and Chris in turn whacked him in the face with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “Nah, it’s not that important.”

“I’m sure Lou would agree with that,” Cadence said with a light sigh. She sat down on the floor in front of them and crossed her legs Indian style. She reached into her bag and pulled out a clipboard, looking over the pages that were clipped to the board. “Looks like you guys have been doing a pretty good job with your diets and fitness regimes and everything.”

“Did we have a choice?” JC asked, causing Cadence to grin.

Okay, so she was a tiny bit forceful when she first started working with them. It wasn’t her fault that Joey immediately got into her stature, so she was only five feet tall. But that didn’t mean she let anyone walk all over her. She took her job seriously and made sure the boys knew it when y first met. So she may have gotten a little more intense than she wanted, but at least it made an impression.

She pretended to think about it. “Mmm….not really!” She chirped causing the guys to laugh. “Lou and Johnny want you guys to be in top shape in all aspects of your lives so it comes with the territory.” Cadence pulled her hair behind her ear and focused Joey with a hard stare. All eyes turned his way and he sat up straight, eyes widening once he noticed.

“What?” He asked.

“Have you been following your diet?” She asked. “I was told that you guys were to eat as healthy as possible. But last time I was at the house I found your stash of Oreos.” She then pointed at him. “Oreos, Joey! Oreos!” She shook her head then threw her hands up into the air. “If you’re going to hide some food at least let it be Chips Ahoy!”

Lance put his hand in the air. “Does that list include Cheese Puffs because he has a bag of those in the back of his closet?”

Joey sucked in a sharp breath, making a face that exuded his obvious betrayal as Lance laughed, leaning out of Joey’s grasp while Justin, JC, and Chris laughed loudly, their laughter echoing along the walls. “Traitor! And I was going to share them with you! Well, you can forget it now.” He then turned back to Cadence, who was now staring hard at him, lips pressed together in a thin line. “I know I cheated, but it was just so good to pass up!”

“Well, don’t let it happen again. Not unless it’s a designated cheat day.” She paused. “Or else it’s when you’re on tour because we all know tour food is good for the soul.”

“I’m guessing you don’t want us to tell Lou that?” JC asked with a knowing raise of his eyebrow.

“You’d be correct, sir. Anyway if there’s anything that you want to add to your diets please let me know and I’ll work it in if I can, but in moderation of course.” She flipped another page that was attached to her clipboard. “So I need to do some measurements, check your weight, and get you started on your cardio for the day.” She flipped the pages once more. “I think I’ll start with you, Joey.”

“Ha ha!” Justin pointed and laughed. “You got in trouble with the teacher!”

“How many times are you going to make him write ‘I will not sneak cookies’ on the blackboard?” Lance added.

JC’s nose wrinkled as he thought for a moment. “Since when is she a teacher?”

A stunned silence went through the room for a moment before Lance reached out and gently patted JC on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about it, man. Just don’t worry about it.” He shook his head and turned to Chris, snorting when he spotted the intense expression of disbelief on his face. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

With a shake of her head, Cadence pushed herself up off the floor. “The rest of you guys get started on a light jog on the treadmill, fifteen minutes at five miles an hour and we’ll go on from there. C’mon, Fatone.” Once she got a good look at Joey’s face she let out a sigh and held out her arms. Joey walked towards her and grabbed her by the waist, easily lifting her up onto his shoulder and walking over to the corner of the gym that held the scales, mini lockers, and a weight lifting bench.

Joey couldn’t help but emphasize his height difference between the two of them whenever he got the chance, especially as there was someone shorter than Chris he could pick on. Case in point he quickly entrusted her with the nicknames Shorty and Little Red—in reference to her favorite color.

“Alright, first thing we’re going to do is measure your arms,” Cadence commented. She grabbed the end of the bench and dragged it over to Joey before standing up onto it. At least for once she could pretend she could directly look him in the eye. “Okay, flex please.”

“Sure.” Joey made a show of bringing up his arms and formed a muscle. Cadence then reached forward and wrapped the measuring tape around his bicep. One she brought her hands together to get the exact measurement, Joey winced and quickly let out a bellow. “Ow!”

He yelled so loud that Cadence let out a mixture of a scream and a shriek, dropping her arms from his arm. “What happened?” She yelped.

Joey grinned. “Ah, nothing, I was just kidding.”

Scowling, Cadence brought her hands back up and made note of the measurement then moved onto his other arm. When she brought her hands together, once again Joey cried out in pain and Cadence shrieked again. This time she pouted, crossing her arms over her chest when Joey laughed so hard he couldn’t help but wrap his arms around his stomach in pure reaction to the very quick, startled look on her face.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “I couldn’t resist. You should’ve seen the look on your face.” Finally, he composed himself and continued to grin. “It wouldn’t be so bad if you didn’t fall for this every day…or were so jumpy.”

“I wasn’t jumpy until I fucking met you, Fatone!” Cadence said, bringing a hand up to her chest. It was actually hurting she was scared so bad. “Now my nerves are constantly shot.”

“And would you look at that, you’re shaking like a Chihuahua!”

Cadence glared at him but found her stern resolve broken fairly quickly. She wasn’t sure how he always managed to keep from being on the wrong end of her temper. He had only had it directed towards him once and that had been when they were all running late and were half-assing their workout with her. She demanded to know why they had given all of their attention and energy to every other commitment they had for their band and yet wouldn’t take her and what she was doing seriously. She had yelled so hard and loud that her face had turned a nasty shade of red and the boys were nearly cowering in fear once she was done. Compared to Lou and Johnny who became very quiet when they were angry, Cadence got loud. Coming from a small frame like hers it could be scary.

It was then Cadence had realized with disdain that she actually might be more like her mother than she would care to admit. It was the only thing keeping her from murdering him every time he played some sort of prank on her. It was a wonder Nsync hadn’t turned into a four-man band yet.

“Can we get finished, please?” Cadence eyed Joey warily as she finished measuring his arms, chest, and waist, before going on to check his weight. Once everything checked out she went through the rest of the boys; this time standing at least a full arms length away so that she didn’t get pranked again.

Once she finished gathering the measurements and writing them down on her clipboard to keep track, she went back to the treadmills to find the boys walking backwards as quickly as they could, reaching out their hands and trying to push each other down as they did so.

“You’re going to have to try harder than that, man,” JC was saying as he increased the speed on his treadmill, gangly arms and legs moving at warp speed.

“Are you getting tired?” Justin shot back. “Why are you getting tired? Why are you getting tired, old man?”

In retaliation Lance reached out a hand and jabbed the STOP button, causing the belt of the treadmill to come to a halt, sending Justin backwards over the front of the treadmill. He managed to keep himself from crashing immediately to the ground by grabbing onto the front bar to slow his decent, before falling to the floor.

“Sorry, man, I slipped,” Lance said with an air of innocence to his voice.

“Let’s see how it feels when my fist ‘slips’ up the side of your head.” Justin got back to his feet and quickly started to chase Lance around the room. As he passed by her a second time, Cadence reached out and grabbed onto the neck of Justin’s shirt, pulling him to a stop.

“You can kill him after your workout is done,” she reminded him. “Up on the treadmill, let’s go.”

Lance and Justin stuck their tongues out at each other as they did as they were told. Cadence sighed, shaking her head. There’s certainly never a dull moment without these guys around. She couldn’t help but smile, as much as they tried her patience; she loved her job and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

“We’re going to be doing high intensity stuff today so get ready to sweat.” Cadence’s nose twitched as a foul scent hit her and she quickly pinched her nostrils shut. “I said ‘sweat’ not ‘suffocate’, Joey.”

“Sorry, couldn’t help it.”

“Yeah, well, you’re going to pay for that one. Eight miles per hour, thirty seconds, go!”

…

..

.

Joey wiped sweat off his forehead and draped a towel over his head. His chest heaved up and down as he stared at the ceiling, lying flat on his back. He couldn’t move his arms or legs, every muscle in his body ached. Actually, they twitched every now and then. Even his butt muscles. It was official, he had made one joke too many and he finally had his comeuppance.

It took so long; he should’ve seen it coming at some point.

And now as he lay on the floor he knew when not to take things too far. Holding out a hand, Joey waited for Chris and Lance to pick him up off the ground. Now they were to get showered, changed, and go to a full day of taking pictures and having clothes thrown on him and yanked off over and over. He’d be lucky if he could stay awake.

Thank God for Pixie Stix, he thought, immediately flashing back to their European tour where they tried to find many ways to stay awake and eventually stumbled upon the candy. Those photographers are going to hate us.

“You guys did a good job today,” Cadence said with an appreciative nod. “You’re really getting into top shape for your performances.”

“Good to know all of this torture isn’t for nothing,” Justin said from where he leaned against the wall, a baseball cap pulled low over his half-lidded eyes.

“I aim to please.” Cadence smiled sweetly and motioned for the boys to leave the room. “Seriously, tomorrow you’ll have a day off so you can sleep in a little. You deserved it.” She pated Joey on the shoulder.

“Ow.” Joey pretended to crumple to the floor.

Cadence’s shriek quickly morphed into one of rage. “JOEY!”