Shut Up and Drive

I’m going to die. I’m going to die before I get a chance to meet Brad Pitt. And Matt Damon. And Johnny Depp and it’ll all be Chris’s fault. Cadence let out a squeak of fear as she tightened her grip on the arm rest and sent another silent prayer to whatever higher power was looking over her life.

And cursing whatever higher power it was that told her getting into a car with Chris driving was a good idea. “Could you please slow down? I don’t think anyone in this car has a fucking death wish!”

“Death wish schmeath wish, you need to be more spontaneous,” Chris replied next to her in the driver’s seat. He grabbed the steering wheel and hand over hand whipped their van around the corner, tires squealing and surrounding horns blaring.

“I think my spontaneity went flying out the window,” Cadence remarked. She closed her eyes as a blast of wind hit her in the face, blowing her hair out of her face while simultaneously making her eyes water. “Literally.” She wiped the tears off her cheeks and twisted to the back seat, staring in awe as Justin, Joey, and Lance continued to look out the windows, headphones over their ears. JC was stretched out in the backseat, sleeping soundly. “Are you kidding? How can you stand sitting there without worrying about the quality of your life?” She frowned. “My life flashed before my eyes…aww I don’t get to marry George Clooney.”

Lance snickered as Justin sat up, ripping his headphones from his ears. “George Clooney?” He repeated. “You want to marry George Clooney?”

Cadence rolled her eyes as Justin’s sudden interest. “It was a far off dream, JT. A fantasy, I’m sure you have them all the time.”

“I can guarantee that,” Chris practically yelled at the top of his lungs.

“God, Chris! Not in my ear!” Cadence slapped her hands over her ears and turned back to look out the front window. She shrieked and moved her hands to cover her eyes and curled up into a ball as she witnessed a car come close to the front end as Chris took another turn. “And don’t take my life, please. I have plenty of people that are going to miss me once I’m gone.”

“So?” Justin looked offended. “So do we.” He tapped the side of her seat. “Hey, hey, so what is it about George Clooney that you like?”

“Yeah, is it dreamy eyes?” Joey asked. He widened his eyes as far as they could go and fluttered his eyelashes as enticingly as he could. Instead it made him look like some sort of a deranged person that just been electrocuted.

“No, let me guess, let me guess.” Justin slapped him on the arm in his excitement. “It’s his smile, right?” He adopted a flamboyant tone to his voice as he said, “All the girls go wild over his smile!”

“Shut up, Justin,” Cadence snapped towards him.

“I will. Promise. Once you tell me what you like about George Clooney?”

“Why?” Lance piped up. “Are you jealous?”

“Please. What does George Clooney have that I don’t have?”

“Hmm, let’s see.” Cadence pressed a finger to her chin. “He’s not a shrimpy blond that thinks that he’s God’s gift to women.”

“Nope,” Chris agreed, bouncing along in his seat to the pop song that blared out the speakers. “He’s a tall brunette that thinks he’s God’s gift to women.” Now he started to sway back and forth, continuing to sing at the top of his lungs. Cadence tilted her head back in her seat and closed her eyes tightly, wondering how they convinced her to take their cheat day at the ice cream shop when they were supposed to be going to the doctor’s office. “Every morning there’s a hal-o hang-ing from the corner of my girlfriend’s four. post. bed!”

“I swear, Chris, if you don’t cut it out I’m going to hit you so hard in the mouth you can’t sing for a week,” Cadence threatened.

“I know it’s not mine but I—“Chris abruptly stopped his singing and looked at her for an uncomfortably long amount of time. “If you did that all of our fans would be sad. And you don’t want our fans to be sad do you?” Cadence reached out and whacked him on the arm. “Ouch!” He raised his voice. “DAD! SHE HIT ME!”

“You didn’t answer my question, Cade,” Justin said, tapping her on the arm once more. “About George Clooney.”

“Hey Justin, why don’t you just open the door and fling yourself out into the road?” Joey suggested. “You’ll sure get her attention that way considering the appendicitis didn’t take.” Justin stuck his tongue out at Joey, causing Joey to stick his out in return.

“Cadence, it’s probably not a good idea to distract Chris when he’s driving,” Lance said helpfully.

“It’s probably not a good idea for Chris to be fucking driving at all!” Cadence shot back.

“Once again as predicted left my broken heart open and you ripped it out! Something's got me reeling, stopped me from believing—“

“—Chris!”

“—Turn me around again! Said that we can do it!”

“—CHRIS!”

“You know I wanna do it again!”

“Alright! Stop the car!” Cadence shrieked again as the car took a sudden sharp turn and came to a sudden stop. Calmly, Chris turned down the volume of the radio and turned off the car as the Nsync boys, minus JC, opened the car doors and climbed out as if nothing happened. “I swear you guys are going to give me a heart attack.”

“But that’s what you’re for,” Chris pointed out. He rounded to her side of the car and opened the door, helping her out. He took a good look at her and tilted his head to the side in concern. “Hey, you might want to get that twitch check out, Cade.”

She reached out and grabbed onto his arm, digging her fingers into the skin. “Just. Get. Your. Ice cream,” she growled. With a heavy sigh, she turned back to the van and looked inside to see JC still asleep. “Jace. Hey. Wake up.” She reached in and shook his shoulder then stuck her finger under his nose. “C’mon, I know you’re not asleep.”

Chris suddenly appeared at her side again, causing her to shriek in surprise, bringing a hand to her chest. Chris looked at her. “I’m telling you, Cade; you need to get check out. You’re a doctor; you should know when you’re under too much stress.”

“I’m not a doctor, Chris, I’m your—“

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Chris leaned into the backseat of the van and slapped JC on the cheek. “C’mon man, we know you’re not asleep. We’re not at the doctor’s office; we’re getting some ice cream.” At that, JC’s right eye opened and looked around.

“We are?” He asked.

“Yeah, look.” Chris pointed out the window and JC twisted around to find they were, indeed, at the ice cream parlor. Then he ‘woke up’ completely and climbed out of the van. Cadence climbed out and closed the door behind them, being careful to lock the car. Once JC was completely out of the car, Chris locked his hands behind his back. “We’re getting ice cream and then going to the doctor.”

Cadence watched, dragging her heels as she followed after them. “I wonder if murder is really against the law,” She murmured. “If not, I’ll start with Chris and make it look like an accident.”