Well another chapter up, Im gonna try and keep the updates are regular or as often as i can - for those of you interested! Enjoy, and let me know what ya think k?

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"So what did you do then?" my mother said calmly over the phone.

"I walked out. I cleared my desk and I walked….was it stupid?" okay so yes I was in COMPLETE panic mode - hence the 999 call to mommy dearest.

"No…" she sounded out "I know you weren't happy there dear, so was it rash yes, but in the long run maybe this will benefit you more - give you the incentive that you need to find something more to your tastes.

"I have been looking, in fact I have this interview at 3…it's in PR though…" I said voicing my uncertainty.
Me? PR? No way….was all I kept thinking.

"I see…well if it's what you want then I think its wonderful Anita, I really do! But let's not tell your father just yet shall we…"

I knew what she meant ,my dad, well he was old fashioned and he always worried about me "surviving" on my own.

"Ok mum, well Ill call you if I hear anything okay?"

"Ok dear. Be good."

"Bye…"

Now all I had to do was find something to wear that matched my new Marc Jacob shoes….ooh the decisions.

"Does this go?" I twirled in my two pieces. It consisted on a smart boot cut pant with a thin tank top underneath a fitted jacket. My hair id swept up and let loose - smart but not stuffy…fun but not slutty.
It was the best combination I could come up with.

"I like it, and I love it with the shoes…now if you team that with that prada bag" I held it up before she even finished.

"Yes that's perfect. Aw they'd be mental not to hire you, you know that don't you?"

I nodded weakly.

"I think so….yes, no YES they'd be MENTAL!" I tried to pep myself up before I left.

"Right ive got an hour to get there and its only 20 minutes away from here…but ill give myself time"

"Ok" Rachel looked up from her weekly magazine. "Good luck."

"Thanks!"

I knew she tried to hide it, but Justin was on the cover…it was the picture fi had shown me in her office.

Of course it hurt me, but I wasn't about to let him, or it affect me any more.

When I reached the offices and the endless hallways of doors all the same colour with no one around I was convinced id either A) missed it, or B) got the wrong hallway/date/time…

So I was flustered.

It was just okay that id given myself time. I barely made it to the appointment.

"Anita J king?" the girl whose voice sounded familiar greeted me with a hug.

"Yes?"

She smiled "im Natalie Gold, we spoke on the phone…"

"OH! Im sorry, faces and voices…very nice to meet you…In the flesh any ways…" I shook her hand. And yes I was so nervous my stomach wasn't just flipping it was practically hopping.

"Come in, sit down…" I walked into the dimly, where there was a desk, her seat, another one beside her and then mine.

And oh that's right two television cameras with lights pointed right at me.

Oh. Holy. Jesus.

"right well Anita, even though you're the last person I expected to see here….im glad you are…im just going to ask you a few questions on why you think your right for THIS job over everyone else…Ok?" she sounded so upbeat and peppy. She HAD to have been on drugs.

"Of course."

"Right. First off, what makes you think you are suited to this type of job?"

I sat up right and swallowed, DON'T @+#! THIS UP!

"Well Natalie I think that mostly given my past experience with the newspapers, ive been given A LOT of practice in how to deal with people. Famous people in particular, I always seemed to have had a knack for getting them on my side, getting them to trust and respect me and I think that, that is a serious plus to a job in personal relations….
She smiled then too. Jotted something down as I squinted in the light from the camera.

"Ooook" she looked at her papers and then at me "say someone approached you, a client say, and they had a big skeleton in their closet, something that could RUIN their entire career? What would your advice be? "

"Well that all depends on the scale of this "skeleton" if say it was something drug related I would get them first to deny the allegations and take a strong defence, then id go about finding the witnesses, and if they were willing to go to the papers id simply match the offer of money they'll be offered but they'd have to sign a contract to keep quite… then id work on seeing if any other evidence had been found picture, video - ala Kate moss, you know?"

She smiled, that's good right.

"Well" she said "I like your style…with as you said your past…" she smiled "personally speaking I mean…"

"What?"

She giggled, "Im sorry but I have to ask, do you make it a habit of shagging celebrities?"

"Im sorry?"

"Anita, I know you best as a columnist…reason for leaving your last job?"

Oi, why did we have to go there?

I decided that at this point I didn't really give a +@$+, I was tired and I was in really uncomfortable (yet pretty) shoes. @+#! it.

"Honestly?"

She looked at me, "sure?"

"My boss screwed me over, I had a relationship that she deemed to be "in the publics interest" I didn't, I asked her not to run the story…she did. I quit. That and I just didn't feel comfortable voicing my opinions on people without giving them a chance to talk back - to be honest that's the main appeal of this job! I like challenges, I like confrontation, and I feel with my pig headedness and the ego of celebrity…that the two would cancel each other out and id keep them under the control they all seem to need these days….and as for your first question, NO I don't make it a habit, he…well he was an exception…." I rambled and then calmed down "In…my opinion…"

Her mouth was agape.

"Wow…really?"

"Yes…"

She looked up, and thought. "O holy Jesus…you're THAT girl? Really??? I was just messing with you at first…I thought it was just a coincidence…. "she stopped, as if to compose herself. Sure I knew the effect he had on women, id fallen to that effect.

"Yes, that's the one…"

She blushed.

"Off the record" she smiled "if you have the magnetism to pull and shag someone like THAT? And keep it quite for as long as you did, you have the balls to do this"

"What are you saying" I think I knew but I just wanted her to say it.

"I think im saying…" she clicked off the cameras. "Ill be calling you tomorrow."

"REALLY?" I laughed, more from nerves than anything else.

"Yes, look I think that if you can be honest with me - a complete stranger like that, I know we'll have no worries with you as far as clients are concerned. Now…" she shuffled some papers. "Tell no one, ill have to pitch it with my partner….but we'll need to draw up some contracts and things for you…and there's a waiting list for our company at the moment….the wait will be a minimum of another month or so…is that okay with you?"

"A month?" yes, I had enough savings for a month. "Of course…I look forward to your call."

"Oh my *%!##%# god! How did you do that, How did you manage to B.S your way to a PR job?"

"OI, you said I had it, that id be great!!!!"

"Yes, and I meant it…but I was full of +@$+!" okay so I SHOULD have been insulted, but I was way too happy to care!

"I know, well anyway she said she'd call me tomorrow with the details….ive a month with nothing to do!"

"Lets celebrate!!"

"Duh!" I flipped off my jacket. "Drinks are on me!" ive always wanted to say that. "Ooh." I flipped off my shoes "I just have to scoot to the cash machine first though!"

As I changed and slipped on some trainers I hot footed it to the side of my street, the nearest ATM teller.

That's when the shock hit me. I hadn't got the usual 7 something grand in savings…I had £107-000.

She'd done it, she'd *%!##%# done it!

****

Since my moment of insanity of calling looking for Anita, I tired to snap myself out of it. I tried to just forget and to just do my job - for once.
But I just couldn't let it go. No matter how many women Trace and I picked up…no matter how many clubs we went to being "playboys" just wasn't as much fun as it used to be.
I wanted more, I needed more.
This just wasn't the life I wanted anymore.

"So, that was amazing…" the blonde page three model, named Melina I think her name was, said smiling as I exited my bathroom.

"Yup it was…thanks." I kept it short, no need to lead her on.

"Oh, no problem…" she smiled again, and I just felt like running - again. There was silence.

"Justin?" her dainty British accent sounded again.

"Yes?" I looked over at her, still in my bed might I add, even though I was giving more than enough "subtle" hints to her, that id rather her NOT be there any more - case in point. Id showered and was getting dressed and she was still lying there.

"Have I done something wrong?"

How did someone as easy as her, NOT know what happened now.

I stuffed my head through my previously disregarded t- shirt and I turned to her.

"No, you didn't I did."

"What?"

"Nothin' look I have to go…so…um could you maybe…" I motioned to her clothes, and she seemed to clue on.

"Oh, I get it…it was just sex…and that's it?" she sounded almost upset - but she was so drunk I guess it was hard to tell with all the slurring.

"Yeah that's it…so could you hurry up, im late."

"You have some fuckin' nerve you know that don't you????" She got up and began slipping into her barely there dress and heels.

"Why is that? Because I accepted your advances?"

"No, because you use people. And when they do the same to you…you cry and whine and write @+*@@ music about it…you're a hypocrite!" she was mad; I saw it in her eyes. I should have cared, but I just didn't have the strength to do that any more.

I just didn't care. "Yeah that's right sweetheart, IM the fraud here…." I looked her up and down with disgust "Congratulate your surgeon -he did a bang up job on both tits, and that nose of yours."

She huffed, flipped her hair and stormed out of my hotel room. I laced up my shoes and headed for Trace.

"She's gone?"

"Yup…" I nodded opening his mini bar "done and dusted…so to speak, hey you have any roasted peanuts in here?"

"No I ate um…"

I gave up and sat back down again "you wanna head out again or what?"

"Justin, its 4am…sure I cant sleep but it don't mean I got the energy to up sticks and leave again…man the clubbing to the late hours is getting old…"

"Or you're getting old…" I remarked.

"@+#! you…"

"@+#! you too!" I mimicked "Look im bored!! I can't sleep and I need something to occupy my mind."

He stood up and handed me his laptop.

"Whats…"

"The internet…go soothe your ego for while! Google yourself…" he smirked and led me out the door.

"Is that some sexual thing I don't know about yet??"

Good god is this what my life was reduced too. I had to make a change.

And soon.

****

"So you have everything then?"

"I think so…I still can't believe that I got it so fast. It's an amazing house."

"Ive seen the pictures remember? I think it's wonderful you've finally decided to use that money."

"I know…I still feel guilty about it though, I mean it is guilt money."

"No, see I don't look at it that way. I think it's just something to help you start this new chapter in your life. That's what I think."

"Miss positive."

"No really…but I think at times like these it helps more than being negative! So I think ill see you in three weeks. Ready and recharged to start this new job of yours."

I rolled my eyes "that's the theory any way…" I grabbed my bags as I heard the honk of the taxi. "See ya."

I bought a house with the money I was given - forced to take from Fi. It was a large country house with all the original architecture and fixtures and fittings. It was really beautiful. Surrounded by land and just - nothing in essence and that's what I needed.

Peace and quite and sometime alone.

It took me three hours driving to get there; I picked up my rental car and paid my taxi, and just drove.

Thinking all the way there. What I wanted, what I needed more than anything else… and just where in the hell my life was going from here.

As it was the middle of February the weather was still shitty, but with dabs of sunshine in between all the rain, which was just setting when I hit the property. I just couldn't wait to get settled in, and comfortable.

It looked wonderful on paper. But even more so in person.

As I dropped my bags in the hallway, I was greeted my Tomas - realtor, slash - neighbour.

"AJ king?"

"That's me…Hi, nice to meet you. Tom is it?"

"Yes, that's me! You made it okay then?" he took one of my bags for me.

"Apart from the mid day traffic it was fine - thank god."

He nodded "well you don't have to worry about that around here. The village is quite down the road. And the town is only really busy on the weekends."

Id passed both when I got lost. And yes the deadness is just what I needed in contrast to the hustle of the city.

"Oh that's not a problem."

"Right well let me show you around your new home…"

"Holiday…" I inserted.

"Holiday home it is then." He smiled as he showed me the kitchen, the living rooms (yes rooms) all with wide open fireplaces and long bay windows.

Three bedrooms, two bathrooms. Pure heaven, and for the price, a steal.

"Well" he concluded "im just over the way…" he pointed out my kitchen window, and over the way meant a space of a rather large field. "If you need anything, you know where I am…"

"Thank you…oh one more thing? The phones? Are they hooked up yet?"

His smiled faded a little "um, no that's the one thing we were having problems with. The service is bad here, so they are installing new connections to all homes next week, but um…mobile phone service should be fine, depending on the network and all…but um there are phones in town if you need them in a hurry."

Hurry? It was a ten minute drive? "Oh okay well thanks again tom…" he nodded and walked out.

Leaving me to my own devices.

Rain, *%!##%# rain, is it ALL it did in this country? I swear I saw the sun shine twice in almost 5 months.

This was insane. I was becoming pasty and gaunt looking. It was straight to Hawaii after I got done here. It was the only solution.

"So you have another week off? Do you EVER work?" My mother said over the phone.

"Hey now. Its not my fault the damn weather screwed up and flooded the *%!##%# set, now is it? Noooo"

"Trace is coming home then?"

"Yeah he's gotten bored, and apparently the girl he was tapping, snapped her whip. He's leaving tomorrow." I looked over at him as he grinned; packing his +@$+ and amazing speed - just dying to get out of here.

Lucky bastard.

"She can snap her whip at me ANYTIME!" he laughed.

My mother continued to talk, I wasn't really listening.

"Dude, you just hung up on her?"

"She'll get over it; I have to ask you something…"

"Sure."

"This chick you're seeing. Are you sure you can trust her?"

"What? Justin, you are now officially PARA-noid. Yes I trust her; we're just kickin it…."

That's what he thinks, she's probably just waiting to get her claws into him, and royally @+#! him up.

"Uh huh…you sure though?"

He sighed. "Is this about that newspaper girl again? Dude get over it already! Im sure she has!"

"I don't know that…" I huffed.

"You haven't called her? Even after you knew she quit her job - for you! Cold man…cold."

"She doesn't know I know she's quit."

"So? Call her, tell her you know whats she's done, and that you want to apologise for branding her a lying $$+@+."

"She did lie!"

"Which she repented for, dude she gave up her *%!##%# career to PROVE that it meant less to her than you, and I think that has to stand for something."

"You've never even met her, how do you know this all of a sudden?"

"Ok" he put his hands up "I don't know her from +@$+, but I know…hell I SEE the effect she's had on you this last month, and it aint pretty. So that means she meant SOMETHING to you, other than sex, other than booty, other than all the useless excuses you've made for it over this last month man…and to be honest im tired of it. So im leaving. And your gonna be here alone, unless you call her and just…talk!"

Damn, when did he get sense…he's never had any before!

"I…I don't think I can Trace."

"Why not?"

"She might not wanna see me. What then?" he's the other person other than my parent's id ever be this honest with.

"Then you're no worse off than you are now."

Ok so I knew he was right, I knew I needed that dreaded word - closure, or else id be stuck in this bitter limbo forever.

It seemed like it any way.

So yeah id go see her, I wouldn't call, id go.

As I walked up her pathway way I remember feeling nervous, more nervous that id done in a long time. Usually when it came to women, I had my game down. But she was different, I hadn't treated her the best, id left her when I discovered the truth in a blaze of hurt and bruised pride. But she was still her, sure she'd told one lie - a significant one ill grant you. But it wasn't a factor now, she'd quit.

I knocked and waited. What seemed like forever for someone to answer?

"Hello?" her roommate's eyes widened again, poor thing.

"Hi…uh Rachel?"

"Hi…"

"Is um…Anita there?"

She squinted, like she wasn't sure id just said what id said.

"Anita? Are you sure?"

"Look I know a lot of shits gone down…but id really like a chance to talk to her…is she in?"

"No…"

"Please, look I just want to tell her im sorry."

She shook her head, I assumed it to be some "sisterhood thing" and that's why she was denying me access to her friend.

"No Justin, she's really not here."

"Okay. Well then do you know where she is?"

She rolled her eyes "Look mr, you may be who you are and all and you may think that you can just use and abuse people like they're +@$+. But Anita is my friend and I won't have you hurting her again!!"

WOW.

"I…"

"NO! Okay do you know what she went through when you said those things? She didn't get dressed for days! You really messed with her heart!"

"Well she messed with mine!" ok I get how pathetic that sounded.

"SO? That gives you the pass to do it to her? Mature…You %@*%."

"Look where is she? I mean I could stand here and apologise

to you both we both know that would doing it to the wrong person, So please just tell me where she is!?"

"You promise you wont mess with her this time!" she folded her arms.

"I promise you Rachel, I just want to talk to her, that's all."

She chewed her lip, "fine. Ill tell you. But you better be good to her this time Timberlake!"

When she rhymed off just exactly where she was, it took me a while to realise - yeah I knew where she was, just getting there would be the problem. I had no idea where there was, I needed a driver, and apparently a map.

Ill admit, it wasn't easy. Even my new driver Sean had bother telling up from down on those new digital maps. Man I missed the navigational +@$+ we had in the states.

Id be lost with out it, no pun intended.

"You sure this is it Justin?" he looked back at me from the driver seat.

"It's what the address says, but this IS the back end of nowhere….I don't get it?" it was, truly the middle of nowhere.

What in the hell was little miss metropolitan doing here in Hicksville?

"Ok, well if your sure this is it, then great… will I wait or go into that little town and check in somewhere?" he asked. "I get paid by the hour from the hotel…so I encourage you to take your time." He smiled.

"Umm, ill go see if it is actually her and if so, go ahead? Sound good?"

"You'll call right?"

"Oh of course." I pointed to my cell "wish me luck."

The property was insane. Big wide fields surrounded it. It was old looking, but it definitely had character.

I knocked on the big red farm house door. And I waited.

Just as the skies opened for the third time that day, it was after 7pm. I hoped she'd be home.

I heard shuffling and then I heard the click of the latch.

And there she was. Eyes wide, with shock....
"Justin?"

"Hey Anita…"