I didn't want him to leave. I really didn't. But as soon as he did I got on my mobile - to Rachel. The three times she'd called, he'd always be in the room so I couldn't really talk without his head getting so big I was sure we'd have trouble getting it in the door.

"So are you two a couple now or what?" she said with a mouthful of food.

"Umm, I don't know"

"You don't know? He spent two full days shagging your brains out and you 'don't know?' for god sakes, did you ever talk?"

She had her charm didn't she?

"Of course we talked, Jesus we did more than each other you know."

"Doesn't sound like it." She sniggered, "and besides he is incredibly shagable so I don't bloody blame ya! I mean the last thing id want to be doin with him - is talkin, you know?"

"RACH! Come on, this is serious, why did you tell him where I was in the first place?"

"Why aren't you glad?"

"No, I am…" I couldn't help but smile "but it shocked the shit out of me!! Seeing him at my door!"

She laughed so loud at that "I knew it would, that's why I didn't phone you. But come on, he shows up, he looked so sorry, pitiful really. He clearly needed to see you, and I knew you were miserable without him. And he looked worse than you…sooo…I don't know I did my charitable thing and pointed his sadness in the direction of yours, and hey…your both happy now! So say thank you Rachel for being this AMAZING friend, that just got your sorry arse laid for two days with lover boy."

I smiled "thank you Rachel."

"Good. SO, are you going to see him again?"

"I think so…"

She "EEEEEE'D" in excitement. "Fuck…can you picture your Ex's faces when they see you with him! OR can't you just see Fi from your office spitting nails when she sees…"

"Rachel I still don't want to be in the spot light."

"Huh?"

"I mean I have a job to do now, I don't even know if it'll take off or not. But the last thing I need is to be known as "that girl that's doing Justin bloody Timberlake." That's not what I want."

Her excitement seemed to lessen considerably then "ooh, so you two are just going to hide the fact your in love?"

I never said love…did I?

"What? Rachel, im not in love with him…for god sakes we just agreed to see each other, it's hardly "love" now is it."

"Isn't it?" she asked coyly.

"What are you getting at? Im not in love with him, I mean I hardly know him…"

"You known him for two months"

"No, I was with him for one, and in that time he didn't know me at all…"

"But you knew him…"

"So?"

"So….you love him."

"NO I DON'T! I argued. And she just laughed at me. "What? Whats so funny you mad woman?"

"Im sorry Nita, but you clearly have something in the love department for this man; I can hear it in your voice for god sakes. And don't get me wrong, im glad."

I didn't say anything.

"See!!! I was right…oh god this is class, your gonna get married and have lots of cute sarcastic babies…" she rambled "can't you just see them, aw I mean how cute!"

"RACHEL!!"

"What?"

"We're not getting married we're not having bloody kids and we're NOT in love"

She didn't say anything so I continued "Okay?" I finally took a breath, id gotten so worked up it was unreal.

The way she described everything it just made me feel so…rushed.

"Jesus, okay Ill stop! But listen, I am really happy that your happy...I just wanted to tell you that!"

"Thanks...really means a lot that I have your support in all this...whatever it turns into...Its good to know"

***********

Getting back into London and getting used to the noise, the chaos again…it was split.

In one way I was glad to be back, glad to get back to work…on another…I missed her something fierce.

I disappeared, MIA for those few days, and it was heaven.

It was decidedly less so though when I did get back, to scowls and telling off from my security.

Apparently I wasn't old enough to know what to do alone no more, how insane is that. I sign their hefty pay cheques, and they're telling ME what to do. It's a fucked up system is what it is.

"Justin we didn't know where you were man? Anything could have happened and how'd have gotten the blame? US that's who….dude your mom called, I mean we lied!" the 300 lb black man conveyed to me with more emotion than a hysterical six year old.

"If she'd called a second time I mean what was we supposed to tell her?" he raised his arms for effect. But I was tired and hungry.

"Tell her im a 25 year old man, who's more that capable of lookin' after his own ass every once in a while…." I slammed my door. I had to be on set early the next day, and I was looking forward to getting it over and done with. I had a max of 5 more scenes, and that was it. We were done.

Praise Jesus!

I rang her as soon as I was alone. No one knew…except her friend, that she and I were doing our thing again.

"They told you off? Aren't you the one that's meant to be their boss?"

"Yeah…" I stretched out on my bed " I am but I know they're just lookin' out for me so its kinda hard to tell them off for just doing their job too…you know"

"Ahuh…Listen ill call you back, I think that's tom at the door."

"Broke my nose tom?"

She sighed

"He didn't break it you drama queen….hes a nice man okay? Let it go. Ill call you right back."

She clicked off, and I wasn't sure what it was surging through me at that second. But I didn't like the idea of her being alone with a guy, that guy in particular. It wasn't that he was shady, im sure she was right, he was nice…for a psycho serial killer…

So I called her right back.

He was being cute; I knew this because he rang a nano second after id hung up to answer the door. Id barely let Tom in when my mobile rang again. "Yes?"

"He there?"

"Yes…"

"Is he making the moves on you yet? I think he will…he has that whole British bumbling Hugh Grant thing goin' on…"

"Justin…"

"What im serious, that dude cleans up at the box office, woman love that idiot shit."

"Clearly the reason you've gotten laid so much" she smirked and I heard his voice in the back ground.

"Tell him to leave, I don't like you being there alone with him….he could be anything, killer, rapist…or worse" I wasn't sure what was worse than that, but I was sure it was TOM.

"your reaching, and your insane…and im hanging up…call me when your brain is functioning again…" she paused "wait that may never happen…just call me later…much later…"

She clicked off again. Down side of having a girlfriend that was smarter than you, was that…well she was smarter than you….

The next call I made was to my mother. She would be the only person that id divulge my new status with Anita. She was the only one that wouldn't out right judge me, and if she did, she'd do it when she hung up.

"Mom?"

"Honey, where were you? I've been leaving all kinds of messages."

"I know, im sorry, i've been away…well just around really."

"Oh? Work?"

"Nah, it's ummm…well I went to Anita."

"Oh….well…how'd it go?" she sounded as apprehensive as I felt.

"Well, really well…I guess…I mean I apologised and realised that I was a complete bastard…she took her share of the shit too."

"You made up didn't you?!"

"How'd you know?" I asked never knowing how she knew this shit. She just laughed.

"Im your momma that's how I know…I can hear it in your voice, I take it, it went better than you're letting on??"

I smiled I couldn't help it "yeah it did, really well…I think we're together, I mean she's still outta town an all, but yeah when she gets back I think we're gonna do this. For real this time, no more lies 'n shit."

"Well,when do I get to finally meet her?"

"Ma, come on im just getting this thing…whatever the hell it is, off to a shaky second start, I don't wanna add any pressure on her, or myself just yet…"

"Im nice!" she protested.

"I know that, but SHE knows that I hold your opinion very high in my book, I don't wanna freak her out with the responsibility of meeting and makin you like her, that's all…can we just see how it goes?"

"Sure, listen someone's at the door, I think your dad forgot his keys again, call me later okay?"

"Okay."

"Love you son."

"Yeah, yeah, love ya too."

After calling the only two women in my life at that point, I was wrecked.

I needed sleep, big time.

*********************************

"Tom im really sorry about the other day I mean I shouldn't have spoken to you like that."

"No, don't be silly, im the one that punched out your boyfriend, I mean Im the one that made the mistake…you know? Seriously im surprised you even want to speak to me again after that."

I handed him his cup of tea, well he fixed my main line phone line for me, it was the least I could do.

"oh. Thank you."

"So, Tom, do you have a someone? Wife, girlfriend? Boyfriend?" I chanced. He just blushed and laughed "yes, ive got a fiancée. Her name is Jules and we've been together now…oh about three years"

"Really? How come I haven't seen her around?"

"She works a lot up in London, she comes and goes, and as do I when I can…we make it work."

"Cant be easy though…"

"No, its not…but what can you do…I like to farm, she likes to….lawyer…don't ask me why but she does."

I smiled a lawyer and a farmer, not the likeliest of pairs I had to admit. "Ive known her my entire life, and when I dropped out of med school to take over my fathers business, she thought I was crazy…turns out I make more than her now that I would have as a GP."

"Nice…"

"what about Justin? What does he do?"

I giggled at that, I think he may be the only person who didn't know who he was.

"He's a singer slash actor slash godonlyknowswhat….but he's successful at whatever he does so…."

"Have you two been together long?"

"No, no…not at all….this thing with us, it's pretty new actually…really new im so nervous about it."

"Why?"

"I don't really know. Well no that's a lie, I do know. See he's in the public eye a lot, and I…well I don't really want that to be honest….so yes that's what im nervous about, so much so that this new job ive been offered thats new too, and its really scaring me..."

"What made you want it in the first place?"

Good question.

"Change of scenery really, change of everything. I mean im nearing the end of my twenties and I need a career for live, and I just can't think of one that ill still want to do when im 50."

"What did you want in the beginning?"

Damn another good question.

"I never really had a set plan, or an aspiration as a child, you know? I just went were the mood took me, even in school....then I found my school newspaper, and I think it was the delving into peoples lives and sharing my opinions with them - that's what attracted me? Now? This PR gig is sweet money, lots of travelling - which I never really got to do before, and im still delving into peoples lives...."

"So? I think it sounds right up your street, I mean I know I really don't know you..." he looked down "but from what i've seen so far, you seem like you could certainly handle something NEW right now, I wouldn't worry..."

Maybe he was right, maybe for once things just might go my way....maybe....