I stared at her as she flipped through the railing of clothes pushing her bump out as much as she could

Anita I saw through the window crossing the street to the other shops, she had placed her shades on her eyes…I knew I had upset her by snapping…it was just the stress of having them both there it just got to me. I’m an asshole I know.

“Where you two arguing before I came in?”

“No…” the she-devil smiled sweetly “course not, we were just chatting, mostly about handbags….you know

girls…”

“And the subject of the doc?”

“oh that, she just brought it up, said something about wanting me out of the way…”

“really?”

“yes, Justin I don’t know what you see in her really, i’ve met her a few times through her work and

mine….and she’s always been really rude to me, and now is just ten times worse for god sakes….and

she has a terrible temper too…”

“she’s passionate what can I say, it’s a flaw - but its one I love.” I couldn’t help but smirk as my remark caused her to scowl.

“she got in my face Justin, and THIS” she motioned her bump, “has nothing to do with her, this is

between you and me….I don’t want her interfering.”

“Inte- okay look…Melina, she’s my girlfriend ok, she’s not going anywhere - and she’s dealing with a

lot right now okay? I want you to respect her”

“why? She doesn’t respect me?”

“well.” I sighed and I remembered why I stayed single for so long. Women were just too damn

unpredictable. “try? Okay? Just…try.”

We spent the rest of the day just shopping for her growing bump, and I had to admit when she wasn’t yelling or screaming she was not bad to look at, or even to talk too. I know Anita was just trying to help, but id been dealing with this, and her for months and id done a good job of keeping her from bitching at me, and or selling anymore stories. I wanted to keep the peace as it were. And Anita showing up just threw a massive spanner in the works.

I was so happy she decided to give us another chance, because despite the madness - she was my salvation, just seeing her made me less freaked, less stressed and I felt her love in return.

I just had to find a way of balancing the two, keeping them both happy and not driving myself insane in the process???

Easier said than done right???

******************

“And her took her side?”

“Yes, he fucking took her side? I mean I was just trying to help him, lighten the load - as it were? But

noooo, fuck him and fuck her! Im coming home!!”

“NO don’t do that!” I heard her panic.

“why the hell not?” I stretched out on his bed

“well I mean….you don’t want her to win do you?? I know your made of stronger shit than that

glorified stripper”

“oook, but why the panic”

“the what sorry?”

“the panic, you panicked, what’s that about??”

I heard some shuffling in the background. “Rachel?? What the hell is going on over there”

She sighed “I have…um…company?”

“the kind with a dick?”

She laughed “yes, okay but….well look just worry about your own man for now, worry about mine

later.”

“ok fine but please don’t do it in my room again” the last time I had to disinfect everything “just in

case” it was awful.

“I wont, love you…take care okay?”

“I will….” just as I hug up the phone I heard the door, and chattering. I walked out into the hall above

them, and to be honest the sight I saw stung my heart. Literally it hurt me to see him laughing with

her, happy even.

“baby we brought some Chinese? You hungry? I got your favourite.”

I tried to chipper my tone, but I just couldn’t. “No, my stomach isn’t feeling all that great, ill pass on it.”

“you sure??” they both worked together, well if you ask me. A little too well.

“Im sure….” she bumped him out of her way with her hips and he laughed, that cute giggle laugh he

did WITH ME.

This was hell, I was sure of it.

“Im sure, I think im just going to go lie down for a while.”

Justin turned to me then, noticed my scowl and took a breath “well if your sure, a rest might do you

good.”

See, he didn’t give a shit that I was upset, too busy feeding his whore.

I didn’t answer them I just walked away, depressed beyond anything and feeling a real urge to cry.

And I would too, just as soon as I was out of ear shot.

For three days the tensions continued in the house, and every time they’d be in the room together

either each would give the silent treatment, or yell the house down at each other all over the point of

Melina taking the test -from one extreme to another. I wasn’t sure how much more if it I could

handle to be honest, there was just this weight, of trying to keep them both content, that I was losing

my mind and my nerves in the process. Something had to give, and soon. Before I ended up starkers as Anita would say…

It was after 5pm when Melina decided that she would go visit some friends, so I agreed to drop her off. And I was more than relieved when she said she’d be spending the night with them. Thank god. Finally some much needed time with my girl.

We needed to talk, seriously sit down and talk. I think we both thought that we could just pick up where we left off- and I wanted it that. But things were different now, and in a few short months my life had changed, and was going to change dramatically. I needed her, I wanted her with every fibre of my soul, but with all the change….would she still want me?

She didn’t sign on for me plus illegitimate child and baby mamma dramas, she just signed on for me,

and for fun….this was NOT fun.

We both had to just decide.

Once and for all.

I crept up the stairs as silently as I could. But when I walked into the room she wasn’t in bed. She was

standing on the deck looking out over the skyline view I had from my room. She had a tissue, my

god. She was crying?

“Anita?” I put my hand on her shoulder, and she jumped.

“Jesus DON’T do that!”

“are you-”

“Don’t okay…”

“what?” I have to admit I was shocked at her tone with me.

“Don’t ask me if im okay one more time! isn’t it obvious im not fuckin’ okay?”

“well how would I know that, you’ve barely spoken two words to me ALL day.”

She rolled her eyes and looked out at the view again “you’ve been a little busy.” she added coldly.

“so that’s what this is about? Anita i’ve been trying okay? But I just don’t know what it is you want

from me.”

“I want you to be on my side, like im on yours, I want you to defend me, pay a little attention to ME

is that so much to ask?”

“you’ve been here a matter of days, and all of which i’ve BEEN with you!!, what more attention

could I be giving you, you walked away from me today AGAIN, when it was you that suggested we

spend the day together….”

“I walked away from you and her, after you embarrassed me - again!.”

“how did I do that.”

“you practically said that this whole thing is NOT my concern, that ‘I should bother worrying about

it‘, I believe is what you said - AGAIN!!. Every time I opt to TRY and help you, you throw it in my face!”

“you know that’s not how I meant it, baby…” I reached out for her again, but she shunned me.

“fuck off.”

“Anita I am dealing with all this change as much as you, and I don’t really know what to

do. I just need to get things taken care of”

“That’s what I was trying to do, Jesus, Justin she’s playing you, and you don’t even see it!!! I read up

on these tests too you know, its one in like 100-000 babies suffer complications, not death or

anything, just premature labour, and she’s far enough along for it to be okay even if anything happened!!!! She doesn’t want the tests done because she’s hiding something. Open your eyes will

you for god sakes…before its too late.”

“too late for what exactly?” I could be just as rigid as her.

“Too late for us darling.” with that she walked away from me for the third time in a day.

*******************

It seemed like I had spent the whole day avoiding him, I started out believing that I could handle it, that I could deal with her being the constant third wheel in the relationship I shared with Justin, I really believed it would be okay.

Now? Well now I was just deflated and pissed off!

“Anita DON’T walk away from me again okay? i’ve spent all damn day chasing after you, and im through!” I heard the temper, I didn’t like his temper.

It took a lot for him to yell. And this time he was practically hollering.

“we agreed to be together, didn’t we? Despite what you did” he said and I saw red, he swore to me he’d never use that against me.

Wanker.

“I thought we were over that?”

“we ARE Im just saying, it was a hurdle wasn’t it?”

“yes, so?”

“So this is just another one, we can come out of this strong.”

My strength felt pretty used up at that second, and that’s when the tears started falling.

“Can we?? Im not so sure….”

“why?” he reached out for me again.

“Justin i’ve been kidding myself, I thought all I needed was you, that all you needed was me-”

“I DO need you” he said sincerely and his baby blues just scored into my soul again.

“Justin, if this is your baby, what then? she’s always going to be around, then there is a child to

consider….I just don’t know if I can do this j….”

“its hard, I know that but come on….you are my rock, I need you right now?!” His eyes and everything in him pleaded with me in that second.

“and what about what I need?”

“what’s that? Tell me please?? I cant be here for you if you don’t talk to me….”

My tears turned to the ugly sobbing cry that I sometimes fell into. “ I need you to love me, to be

there for me, for there not to be this other woman! Not be a woman pregnant with your baby!!! A

woman that ISN’T me!! Do you know how much that hurts??? i’ve tried to be grown up about it but I just cant any more! I love you SO much!

So much that when your not there, your always in my thoughts, always…im always wondering…..but now all I can think about is how the man I love is becoming a parent, to a baby….that isn’t mine, that hasn’t got a thing to do with me.

And it HURTS!” I finally broke down, and got all my thoughts out - finally.

He just looked at me, as if he finally got why id been acting like a mental patient, and without saying anything, just took me in his arms and wrapped them fully around me, trying his best to calm me down.

“i’ve been selfish haven’t I?” he said quietly into my ear, as we just stood in his sitting room

embraced.

“no” I mumbled into his shirt “im just a crazy whore….”

“you’re not, i’ve been all this time - so focused on me, what effect this was having on MY life that I

never even considered what was going on in your head.”

“I thought I could do it Justin but I don’t think I can….”

“do what?”

This time I looked up from his shoulder breaking free of his arms “ Justin I don’t think I can be in

your life any more.”

I saw his eyes shift, as if he hadn’t heard what id said. “Justin I think….I think that this was a

mistake….” I walked to the window.

He coughed, ran his hands through his newly curling hair and sighed “so that’s it? Shit gets hard and

Your just gonna bail? Is that it?”

“NO! this shit isn’t just hard, its ice solid! Im losing my mind!”

“And im not??!”

“MAKE her take the damn test, stop wasting time and MAKE her!”

“Not this again.”

“yes, this again, im sorry for giving a shit about you, you clearly don’t give a shit that little miss “poor

and innocent” is playing you, once this kid gets popped here, she has her green card her child will be

an American citizen!”

“what?”

“Justin, she used to sell stories to me remember, she would prey on these men, American men

mostly - high profile to get herself noticed….she told me herself! For gods sakes, you’re just another

one of MANY, trust me!”

“why didn’t you tell me this before?” his expression frowned.

“because I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt I suppose , but plainly put…the woman is a

bitch, and its time you saw it.”

“I…Look the baby is due in a month! We‘ve made it this far with it…why not just wait it out!”

“no, see it please? Make her take the test, and if it comes back that she’s telling the truth - ill back off

completely, ill even be NICE!” I said still crying, my nerves made me shake and my hands had

developed a slight tremor from being so worked up.

“I cant do that, it could kill the baby and I wont be responsible for that.”

“But I just told you-”

“no, I don’t care, that’s … that could be my baby, and I wont. Im sorry but NO!”

He roared at me, he flat out defended her again, that’s it.

I knew he’d gotten attached to the idea of a child, id heard it in his voice over the last few days, he wanted this.

“Fine, you know what FINE! You want to be a fool, you can be one all by yourself!”

“what’s that supposed to mean?” he folded his arms and approached me.

“it means im done, im over it, you can move her in here, her and her kid, and live miserably ever

after for all I care….”

“AJ…”

“No…We’re over!”

“just like that!” he stormed after me as I raced up the stairs.

“YES! NO! Not JUST like that! Its been months of sheer hell, of waiting for OUR life to start,

together for us to be a proper couple again, the kind that meets each other families, and friends and

goes skiing together!!” I rambled off as I searched for suitcase “but no, what are we doing? Babysitting

a pregnant wannabe porn star! Bloody charming!!”

“AJ, please think about this, im not doing this again!”

“this what!” we continued to yell at the top of lungs as I paced around his bedroom looking for my

things.

“THIS! FUCKING WITH EACH OTHERS HEADS, BREAKING UP - GETTING BACK

TOGETHER, IM TIRED!! IM JUST TIRED OF IT!!”

“WELL!!” I began, not really knowing what to say “FINE!”

“what?” he asked

“don’t deal with it any more, you wont have too! This is it, you insensitive prick!!” I threw his shirt at

his head! Immature, I know. “Im finishing this once and for all!”

“is that right” I don’t think he thought I was serious. But I was so angry I was as serious as a damn

heart attack!

“I don’t love you!” I yelled, and lied.

“is that right” he smirked clearly not believing me and infuriating me even more.

“NO, but I cant do this - be a third wheel in my own relationship. I deserve better”

He stopped chasing me, and I think it hit him that I wasn’t just being dramatic, I meant it.

He sat down on the bed in front of where I stood.

“you’re right, you do deserve better. You deserve someone who’ll be with you when you need him,

someone who wants to be in your life, not just to be there, but to make a life with you…not

someone who’s so involved with other dramas, he cant make any good ones with you….”

“Justin…” I softened.

“No…you are right Nita, this….its just not healthy, not for anyone…..you can get out of this….I

don’t blame you really…I wish I could…” he voice broke “I don’t blame you for wanting out…”

And with that, this time he was the one to walk away from me. Slowly he walked out of the room

and left me to pack.

Shit, it might have taken him a while to realise I was serious, but I think it took me even longer.

We were over?