"Seventeen times, he cheated on her seventeen times with up to 10 different women, is that what you're saying?"

"Yes…" the other end of the line opened up.

"And you know this how?" I asked the mystery lady.

"I have tapes, conversations…he makes it more than clear to me in them."

"You taped him?"

"Yes, I have three tapes and on them he's made really obvious what he's talking about…."

She asked for the price of the tapes, what the paper would be willing to pay, I offered her the standard 20,000

"This is explosive, I think there worth more than that…."

"Ill offer you double that if you tell me just who you are and if you do an interview…"

"I can't…"

"Why?"

"You need to keep my name out of it." The woman was adamant, "you have too"

"I will then, who are you."

"AJ, its Sadie, Sadie frost."

Sweet Jesus is there no one willing to let anything be privileged?

"He's your children's father? Why are you doing this?"

She was silent for a second…

"Why not….now if I deliver them to you tomorrow, the fee is the 40 grand right?"

I shook my head, yes it would make a stunning story, since they had gotten back together and a wedding was less than a week away.

"Fine….ill let you on to my assistant. She's going to give you the details." I hung up.

Then that now familiar feeling washed over me, the sickening, stomach in knots, light headed feeling I got when ever someone's life or relationship was placed in my hands.

"AJ, are you alright?" felicity's headed popped into my office again.

"No, I just feel so sick. I had Sadie frost on the line, she's offering Jude law on a plate, cheating tell all, on sienna…."

"Really? I %+!%!*% hope you took it?"

I nodded yes, "of course, that's why I feel so damn sick…I hate this fi…"

She rolled her eyes, "the moral war you fight, am I right? Its something all you twenty something's will go through, I went through it…don't worry it'll pass"

"What if I don't want it to pass…?"

"What?"

"Fi, I hate this, when I do this im making peoples lives a living hell."

"Im not going to coddle you Anita, you know that…now look what your doing isn't good, morally its not. And you and I both know were going to hell, but then if it wasn't us, it would be someone else. We make a lot of money out of this, so much so im retiring in a month, and im not even fifty. In no other job, will you earn the benefits that you do in this one. Ive played it smart, like ive taught you to…bank everything and invest. Im a multimillionaire, im set for life, you do this now and you can relax later….repent later…"

"What if I want more in my life now, than just the money?"

"What more is there?" she smirked and walked out of my office, just as my mobile rang.

"Anita James…"

"Hi, it's Justin."

"Hello…"

"Hello to you too…you busy?"

"I am a little, im guessing by your oh so bored tone that your not though are you?"

"Nah ive got the rest of the week off, so im just stuck here in my hotel room, all on my lonesome…"

"is that so, well I happen to know quiet a few good escort services that ive sent clients too in the past, care to be one of them?" I laughed.

"No thank you, what are you doing for lunch?"

"Lunch?" I checked my watch, it was almost one…I hadn't realised.

"Yes, you know that meal before dinner, after breakfast…lunch, I was thinking that if you weren't busy…you could come have lunch with me…"

"God you must be bored if you want me."

" well I am bored, after all the excitement in your place the other morning, I mean how could anything match up to that?....come over, ill let security off…" with that he hung up. Yes he was JUST as bossy as I was.

And the excitement he was talking about was, the morning after he had spent the night, trying to get him out of the house in time for his work, and trying not to be seen by anyone, my roommate, the pap's that were constantly roaming "the hill", and my prying neighbours. It was like something from a bad sitcom, every time we got out of the room Rachel would come out of hers, and then when we finally got out side, my neighbours were there, and then there were all these cars, and it was just impossible to do it without being seen.

But we did it eventually, and he wasn't spotted.

Thank god.

And yes, I do realise how ridiculous it all sounds, but well he still didn't know about me, and I sure as hell wasn't about to let MY newspaper out us both now was I.

&&&&&&&&&&&

It had been almost a week since id seen her, that morning at her place. It was funniest thing id done in a while trying to leave her "flat" as she called it. The reason I hadn't seen her was because she was busy, then I was, and when one of us wasn't, the other was.

But we'd kept in contact over her mobile, and mine.

But it wasn't the same, things were nice between us. Even the most mundane of conversations were interesting when she told them. I wasn't sure what I was doing with her, I didn't know if we were dating or if we were just people who called each other, and had sex, or what? I mean there wasn't really a definition for things like that, and in all honesty I wasn't even sure I wanted to define it. I liked her, I knew that much, and for right now, I think that's all that mattered.

"Who is it?"

"It's your nooner, im a little late…" her accent came across the door way.

"Hi you…"

"Hi…" she smiled, mocking my accent. She walked in and automatically wrapped her arms around me. Kissing me deeply.

"Umm, I think I like this."

"Yes well don't get too attached, I have to be back at work in an hour…"

"Aww…."

"No, an hour, and you better have some kind of food here, im famished." I smiled leading her into the suite.

"Well it just so happens I do!" I pointed to the table that was already set and waiting for her.

"Jesus you take advantage of your hotel staff don't ya…."

"I do…sit, eat…"

She did, "so what have you been doing all day?" she asked me, mouthful of food.

"Eh, just hanging out, a few of my friends came over from LA for the week; they're out shopping right now, sight seein, that sorta thing."

"Why didn't you go with them?"

"Well I wanted to see you…"

She grinned widely at that, "Aw, your such a sap, you know that don't you?"

"As you keep tellin me…"

"And I will do too, you Americans, you're too open about every bloody thing…we're just not built like that im afraid…"

"Built like what?"

"Like, discussing our 'feelings' or things like that, I mean I know im not, it takes a lot for me to open up…"

I grinned, but I didn't realise it was such an evil one.

"Im not talking physically here you Wanker" she smiled bashfully and threw a fry at me.

"I wasn't thinking anything of the sort…but now that you come to mention it…"

"Lets not…shall we? How's filming?"

"Good, great actually…everything's on schedule and the director isn't mad at me, so its all on the up I think…"

"What about everyone else? Are they getting on as well as you?"

"On screen things are great you know, but I think that sienna's been having a few problems."
"Really?" she asked, genuinely interested.

"Yeah, she's been crying a lot and she won't really talk about it…"

"Wow, and here I was thinking that things were great with her and Mr Law…" she looked away.

"Let's not talk about them now, how was your week?"

She rolled her eyes, "hectic, just one thing after another, and then some…Im glad it's almost over, I have some holiday time coming thank god."

"Really?"

"Yes…" she continued to eat her lunch, "and I really need it too, I hardly had any time off over Christmas…so these three weeks will be so welcomed."

She finished what was on her plate, "aw thank you I needed that. I was starving."

"I noticed…"

"Ha-ha…."

She walked over to my side of the table, and pushed me out of my seat so she could take hers, on my lap.

"I still have a good 45 minutes left until I had to hot foot it back to the office."

I kissed her then, something that over the good dozen conversations we'd had over the past week, it was something id wanted to do more than anything.

"So Mr Timberlake what are your plans for this evening?"

"Just dinner with my boys and maybe a few beers….you wanna come? Id like you to meet them?"

"Isn't that a little…Soon?"

"You think so, I just thought that we all could hang out…but if you think its too soon then, its cool?"

"I do, I mean we've only been like this…us for a little minute I don't think im ready to be judged by your friends just yet."

Ok so she had a point, and yeah I know, I was jumping the gun…

"Sorry."

"No don't be sorry, I think it's really sweet that you feel so okay with me to do that, I know for you that's a big thing…" that's right we weren't the commitment type of "couple were we?

"Now, back to what we were doing before I came over all weird and acted crazy…." I leaned in and kissed her again, this time moving so that I nudged her off my knee, and as I bumped her along into my bedroom she was full of giggles.

"I can't do this, ill be late for work…"

"So….im sure they'll survive."

"Don't be so sure…" she said smiling, as she removed my sweater. "Don't be so sure."

"Anita, what time did you get in last night?"

"Uhh im not sure? Why?"

"Nothing…" Rachel mused sitting next to me on the couch sipping her coffee.

"What?"

"Well, it's just you've been doing it a lot lately, I mean im late but you're…"
"what is already, what are you hinting at?"

"Are you seeing someone? Is that why you've been home at the AM every night this last week?"

See, now how did I answer that. Id been hiding my "relationship-or-whatever-it was" with Justin for almost 2 weeks, id been seeing him on a daily basis, nightly really…and then tiptoeing home when we were done.

It wasn't that he was weird about me staying with him, he wasn't. In fact he was open to the idea, a lot more than I was. But again, I wasn't just lying to rach; I was still lying to him too. My boss called me for her morning "conference call" at 8am, and if I was with him at that time, well my game was up.

"Im, im not sure to be honest."

"You're not sure if you're seeing someone?"

"No…"

"So what, are you with someone?? Is he good looking?"

"Rach, look um…ive been with someone, but I don't really know what it's…there isn't a definite label on it right now."

"Why haven't you said anything???"

"Because im not even sure if this thing is the real thing yet, how could I bring something up that I wasn't sure of myself…you know?"

"Ahuh….so um, what does this man do, he isn't a bum is he because I know you tend to go with your charitable side, but tell me this one has a job…"

God she was just overly theatrical wasn't she?

"He HAD a job, he was just freelance!"

"Isn't that just a fancy word for lazy…?

"ANY way, I think that I like him…I mean I do, clearly - he's cute and funny as hell, but he's wonderful."

"Oooh, sounds like you lurve him…"

"I don't! I hardly know him, he's just a good man, and I like him a lot but for now, it's just the beginning."

"I see…so when do I get to meet this man, he sounds charming…. Is he a cutie?"

"SO cute!" I blushed.

"Reeeeally, what else?"

"He's got terrific hair, and good teeth, Im a big dental freak! But more than anything, he's got an accent."

"Where's he from?"

"The US"

"@++$? Where in the u.s?" she had a thing for the American drawl, so her ears instantly picked up on that one.

"Um, he southern, so around Memphis, or so that way…."

"Sexy…when do I get to met him?"

Oh god, now she wants that? Yes I know I should have known better and not brought it up.

"ill see how things go, like was occurring, in that Jude and sienna had split, and that he was seeing her now, we had pictures and everything. Of course, I knew in my heart that nothing was going on; he was giving her a hug, that's all it was. He was his mobile to me at the time, so I knew when it was.

But I had to make it into one of those "new hot romance on set" stories that I began with Brad and Angie, and hell I was right with them. Hence baby jolie Pitt.

But now, I knew I was wrong. And it sickened me more than usual, since I knew he'd read it and he'd be pissed off the next time I saw him.

"I just cant believe it, I mean where do they come up with this @++$, its nothing and they're making it into this huge deal, its not!" he exclaimed handing me my G&T.

"I know that, seriously Justin, calm it…"

"I am calm; I just don't want you thinking that you know…that id be…you know…"

"Cheating on me?"

"Yes, because im not, I wouldn't…" he seemed dead serious at that.

"I know…"I looked away, it was awkward - we hadn't talked about being a couple, yet we were talking about cheating or not? It was weird, in the sense that we weren't official or anything but he was reacting as if we were…wait, were we?

"SO!" he took a deep breath and embraced me to his side as he sat next to me.

"So….other than the mean papers, your doing good?"

"Yeah, ive booked some studio time over here for the next few weeks, I just feel like I can really do something you know, it's inspirational."

"Being written about has made you want to write???"

"No, being with you…" he kissed me on my temple.

When he said that, it came across as one of if not THE sweetest thing anyone's ever said to me.

"Really?"

"Really…." He grinned broadly. "Look I don't know if ive made it known to you lately…but these last few weeks with you, they've been amazing, really…I just…I really like you. You've made my staying here - so far away from home, from my family and everyone I know, you've made it so much easier"

"Aw, are you getting sappy again?" I laughed, but he didn't. I wasn't sure how to take it.

"No, im being real. And I just wanted you to know that ive…loved being here since I met you."

"Im that good huh?"

"I guess you are Anita, I guess you are…."

"So, what on earth can I do now, to make your stay more…amazing, I think that's how you described me…?"

"That's about right, and you know, I just don't know what you could do to make me more comfortable right now, I mean ive got good food (it was Chinese take out so it wasn't that good) good entertainment ( it was x factor, entertaining yes, good - no.) And ive got this stunning woman by my side, who WILL be waking up with me tomorrow, just in case she didn't know that!" he grinned widely, that heart melting smile that I loved.

"No, she wont, she has to get home to bed, she has a big day tomorrow…and she can't be sleepy…I just can't, and we both know if I stay here, not a lot of sleep will be had!"

He smirked at me, "Aw come on, this isn't right you know, I feel so used when you just up and leave after we've….you know…" he wriggled his eyebrows at me, and it was very funny, he was a grown ass man and he couldn't just say it!

"You know? No I don't, refresh my memory, what is it that we do…"

"We…you know…"

"Justin im going to need you to say it!"

"We have sex. Make love, get jiggy…happy?"

"Jiggy? Ok, Will Smith called and he wants his slang back, jiggy…J you're white, get used to it already!!"

"Nah, ma sista, I aint, I got black blood in me somewhere! I mean my fro speaks for its self, there is definitely "brother" blood in me somewhere down the line!" Being around him, especially when he was in silly mode, it just made me laugh so much. And in my line of work - laughing at something genuine just wasn't something I was used to, not these days anyway.

"You're a head case, im just letting you know that now, in case im called to character witness you somewhere down the line, one word from me and you'll be in the nearest nut house!!"

"Aw come on, you adore me this dopy, you said so!"

"Oh, I don't think so yank….Not at all…"

"Aw you do, I can see it in that sweet smile of yours, you want me…" he batted his eyelashes at me, playfully.

"I don't." I took another drink.

"You want me, you want to kissss me, and you want to touch me…." he began to sing, ala miss congeniality

"Bugger off, no I don't…" he climbed over on top of me, kissing my neck.

"Well okay, you might not want those things, but I sure as hell do!!" he set his sights on my neck, and lets face it, I wasn't in any position to refuse.

Now was I.

****

"Are you tired?"

"Not really…" I mused running my hand up and down her back.

"I am a little but not so much that I need to sleep…"

"Ahuh…"

"Am I boring you?" she peeked up at me

"NO!!! Im just thinking….maybe we could go out next time you come over."

"Out? Like out on a date, evening out?"
"Yes….maybe just the movies or something?"

"Couldn't we just rent a DVD?"

Okay I knew she was weary of the press, but surely the movies weren't that dangerous?

"It was just a thought that's all…"

"No, im sorry I just really don't my life splashed over all the papers that's all, its not that I don't want to be out with you, I mean I am getting crazy being in doors all this time. But it's not like we've run out of things to do." She smiled wickedly at me, and then I got her drift.

And in all honesty I should have been loving it, a girl who wasn't interested in the lime light, who just wanted me all to her herself, and liked to have sex? What was wrong with that?

Nothin, with it. But with me, maybe - I wanted to move on with her.

Was that so bad?

"You know what, forget I mentioned it. We can just rent something if you want."

She sighed and bit her lip.

"No, its fine. A "date" sounds nice. And oh so American."

"Well don't let me force you or anything!!!" I huffed.

"Shut up you $!%%, your just looking for sympathy." She was right, Damnit.

"So what then, a movie?"

"The cinema has that new Colin Farrell one on show this Friday….want to?"

"Eh, yeah why not. His shits cool."

"Well okay then…" she settled against me again, but she seemed uneasy after that. I don't know what got into her but she just seemed to space off every time we'd talk.

I wanted to bring it up, but then again did I? Maybe she was just preoccupied with work, or her friends, or something.

I didn't want to think she was worried about being seen with me, I didn't because that would mean I would have to think about being seen with her, another girl I was thrusting into my life - media wise anyway.

No doubt if we were seen together, she would be chewed apart by the papers. In the US it was bad but here, it was just SO much worse!

I didn't want her to be hurt, and the fact that I was even considering her feeling at all in the first place….well it wasn't something id done with a woman id been sleeping with - in a long time.

*****

Apparently Justin Timberlake has got a new girlfriend.

That was the memo, (yes it was memo material. The colour of posh spices knickers requires a memo) that was sitting on my desk.

I pressed my com. "Whats this?" I asked my new assistant (yup, Ive got an "assistant")

"Fi left it in before she left, apparently there's a woman he's been seen with"

"Are there photos?" I was quaking.

"No, she said the men following them couldn't get a clear shot of her face, the pictures are worthless…."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Right, what do we know about her?"

"Nothin, no one will comment and no ones leaked anything yet, so it's just a waiting game, so she says any way…."

"So all we know is that he was seen outside the cinema with someone, which proves nothing."

"It's enough." Stacy smiles. "He's hot, so why not? It's been a while since we've had anything on him…."

She was formally aide to Tom, who got fired for shagging the boss…he and fi fell out; he got the boot out…

"I know, but lets leave this until we have something worth running" I avoided "what have we on Britney, whats her low life of a "husband" up to?"

"OH!" she walked to her desk and handed me another memo, from fi.

"Britney's hubby & stripper….check out the photos"

"Give me, ill see and run this instead. Get me Sarah; she can fluff a piece on his movie.

"What about the mystery woman?"

"Nah, nothing yet…"

It was after 12 when my mobile rang.

"I wanna come see you…" was the sappy voice on the other end of the line.

"Bored again."

"No, I just wanna see you, whats the address of your work?"

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

"Justin, we've talked about this…it's not safe for you to come here without bodyguards."

"I have em with me in the car, just name the street and we'll be there in a few."

"Honey, Id love you too, I would but im just SO busy right now….I can't my boss would flip out so much!"

"Im harmless."

"I know, but she's not…Please? Ill cut out early today. Ill call straight over." He was silent, "Justin, please? Ill make it up to you."
"Uuhk, fine but it better be good."

"Isn't it always?" I laid back in my chair laughing.

"I suppose." He still had that whine in his voice.

"Cheer up, or your face will stick that way…Now, be nice and go to work"

"Im off today."

"No your not, your skiving there is a difference."

"Its only wardrobe fitting for a few end of the movie bits, they don't really NEED me for that."

"YES, they do now bugger off or I won't come to see you later."

He sighed over the line, "Fine. Later Anita."

"Bye…."

Dodging bullets, I tell ya it isn't easy.

I hated dishonesty, even though you'd think I didn't. I did. It ate at me all the time.

I wanted to tell him the truth every single time I saw him, but then I knew if I did it would be the last time I saw him.

And I DEFINITELY didn't want that to happen.

I did as I said I would, I called to see him at three. He was lounging around in an old pair of basketball shorts - and nothing else.

"You don't waste time do you?" I smiled, using the spare key card he'd give me the day before.

"I thought id save you sometime…" he got off the couch to greet me.

"Mmmm, you smell nice…what is that."

"Sweat."

"HA, no what is that?"

"It's ANGEL, perfume. I love it."

He nodded. "So I have something to ask you….well a few things actually."

"OK! I took the cookie last night, I knew you wanted it…but I -"

"Um, No." he smirked "that's not it."

"Oh." I sat next to him then. "Well what then."

He blushed, and looked from the bottom of his eyes. "I like you, you know that right?"

I nodded.

"And well I know that you like me too…"

What was he 12?

"Ahuh? Whats your point?"

"Well I mean…you're not seeing some else are you?"

Was he high?

"NO, are you." I accused.

"NO!! Of course not, I just thought I should ask before I ask you the thing I really wanted to ask you?"

"Honey seriously are you high?"

He just laughed, "I know im not making any sense….but ok…I know you have time off coming up…this week end for three weeks right??"
"Right."

"Right, so I was thinking…maybe if you wanted you could come to my birthday party…"

Oh.

"In Memphis."

Oooh…

"In…Memphis. As in Memphis your home town in the states."

"Yes."

I felt the pressure build on the back of my neck, my chest tighten.

"Well?"

"Are you sure? I mean we've…you're…Im…"

Ok now I was the one acting like she was high.

"If you don't I get it, I mean its okay? But ill be going home for the two week break we have and I…"

"Is it a big deal? I mean is there a big celeb thing going on or is just family."

He smiled.

"This year, its just family and a few friends…nothing big."

"So there won't be any press?"

Paraaaaaanoid. Wasn't I?

"Not that im aware of, no one knows about it but my circle…you're in that circle you know?" he winked.

"I am?"
"For sure, you're a big part of that circle these days…and besides all my friends are dying to meet you."

"You've told your friends about me?" I couldn't help but smile.

"I sure have darlin', and my mom…she's wanted to know who it was that was laughing so hard last time she called…."

"Oh god that was your mother on the phone?"

"Yeah, she's cool with it though. She's knows were a sort of, kinda a thing…so about the party you down?"

"Im not sure."

"Okay, well will you at least think about it?" he winked embracing me into a kiss.

"I…"

He kissed me again.

"Ill think about it…" I gave in.

"Good girl…" he kissed me again, I loved his kisses. So much so that it made me actually think about his request.

What WAS I thinking?

**********************

What are you thinking