I cried the whole cab ride back to my apartment. I felt awful for leaving but I couldn’t bear to stay any longer while I watched different girls drool over Joey. My thoughts were all over the place: thinking about what to say to Karyn and Joey if they asked me why I ran off, thinking about why I was acting so stupid when I had no right to, thinking about if me and Joey even had a real shot at whatever this was.

A small part of me wanted to believe that Joey and I could be a thing but an even bigger part knew that it would nearly be impossible. Joey was famous and he most likely won’t have any time for me. I can’t look to Karyn and JC for hope because they’re probably just a short fling. I didn’t want that with Joey. If I did get with him, I wanted it to be something that would last.

I walked into my apartment feeling like a hopeless loser. I plopped onto the couch and immediately started thinking about all the different ways I could avoid Joey so I wouldn’t have to explain anything to him. Suddenly, the phone rang.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Jasmine, what happened? Are you alright? Joey’s been looking for you.” It was a little hard to here Karyn with all the music in the background but the concerned tone in her voice was clear.

“Tell him I’m fine and that he doesn’t have to look for me.”

There was a short pause before she could answer. “Too late, hun. I think he’s on his way over there.”

“Shit.” I cursed.

“Jaz, don’t try to run away from him. Whatever your issue is, just talk to him about it. I’m sure he’ll understand. I really wish you’d tell me what’s going on, though.”

“I said I’m fine, Karyn. I’m okay. How long ago did he leave?” I knew she knew I was lying but I didn’t care enough to convince her at the moment. Joey was on his way to the apartment and I had to be ready.

“Nearly 10 minutes ago, probably. Look Jaz, if you don’t want to tell me right now that’s fine. I’ll be home late but I expect you to tell me in the morning, alright?”

“Yes, mom.” I replied and hung up the phone.

Joey was going to be here any minute. Our apartment wasn’t too far from his hotel so I knew that if I tried to leave now, I’d probably run into him. I waited nervously for him on the couch. My fists were clenched while images of that girl being all over him replayed in my mind. I had to slap myself a few times to get myself to stop thinking about it.

Footsteps coming up the stairs in the hallway interrupted the silence. The steps came closer and stopped in front of the door. I heard a knock. “Jaz, are you in there?”

I had the lights off, hoping that if I didn’t say anything, he’d think I wasn’t home.

He knocked again. “Jasmine, please open the door. What happened?”

I let out a deep breath before I stood up and carefully walked towards the door, still unsure of whether or not I was going to open the door.

“I’m not leaving until you open the door.” He stopped knocking and I tried to listen for his footsteps as a sign of him walking away.

It was no use; he was still there. I heard him clear his throat. I opened the door to his stern but worried expression. He walked in without saying anything as I watched him walk towards the couch.

He watched me close the door as he waited patiently for me to follow him to the couch. I sat next to him and tried avoid eye contact. Something that I’ve been getting really good at since I’ve met him.

“How’s your head?” He lightly patted the spot on the back of my head to check for any bumps.

“It’s fine.” His touch really calmed me down.

“Why’d you leave?”

“I don’t know.”

He raised an eyebrow and looked at me irritatingly. “You really need to start telling me things. Ever since I’ve met you, you’ve always been trying to avoid conversations or giving me short answers. I don’t know what your problem is but I’ve been trying my best to get to know you and I’m not expecting anything but I think it would be nice if you would just tell me this one thing on your mind.” His concern turned into anger.

I looked at him sheepishly. I didn’t realize that he noticed my attempts at avoiding him and now that I know he did, I felt worse. “I’m sorry.”

“Now, will you please tell me?”

I took a moment to consider what would happen if I told him what was on my mind. But seeing that he probably wasn’t going to take my crap this time, I opened my mouth to ramble. “I honestly don’t know why I’m acting like this. I think everything’s just happening too fast. I mean, I’ve always had a huge crush on you even way before I met you. So when we finally met, it was a surreal thing for me. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I would get to meet you. In these past few days we’ve had two meals, watched a movie together, you made breakfast for me, had a food fight, and went to a party. I’ve been trying to avoid this but I think I’m just going to say it: I like you. I mean I really like you. It scares me to think that this is just a lost cause.”

The anger left his eyes as he let out a sigh. “See, that wasn’t too bad.” He smiled.

I looked at him, confused.

“Why do you think I’ve been trying to get so close to you?”

I shrugged.

“I like you, too.”

“What about that girl at the party? You seemed to like her too.”

“Honestly, I drank a lot. I’m also still a little intoxicated. But if there’s one thing I can tell you for sure is that I don’t like her and I definitely do like you.”

I knew that I should’ve been feeling enlightened to hear that he was feeling the same. But there was something in the back of my mind telling me that there was still something wrong. He started to scoot closer to me but I scooted back. “Sorry, but how is this going to work?”

“What?” he asked.

“This. I’m me and you’re you. I’m boring and you’re cool. I’m poor and you’re rich.”

His eyebrows furrowed and his lips were pursed. Looking at the floor, he let out a sigh. “Jasmine… I’ve been telling you the most random things about me because of this exact thing. I’m just a guy. You shouldn’t be worrying about how you’re going to be with me.”

“But you’re not JUST a guy. You’re a freaking celebrity! I don’t think you’d enjoy dating me if National Inquirer made up all these bizarre stories about us being together.”

He rolled his eyes and for once, he was trying not to look at me. “You’re right, I’m more than just a guy. But I’m also more than just a celebrity.”

I chose not to speak. I suddenly realized that I was hurting him. The tone of his voice was somber. We both sat in the darkness of my apartment not saying a word to each other. I felt a heaviness take over my chest and I immediately regretted saying those things to him.

“I’m not just some cool, rich, celebrity Jasmine. I was a regular guy before all this. I was a regular guy with feelings. I dated regular girls. I love my bunny slippers and I hate groupies. I love watching movies and I love doing sweet things to impress a girl that I like. Do you remember that girl I told you about?”

“Yeah?”

“She slept with my friend because she figured that I’d find someone else; someone famous to replace her. The whole celebrity thing got stuck in her head so she figured she’d take it upon herself to have someone else before I ‘replaced’ her.”

I felt like the stupidest girl in the world. “I’m sorry, Joey.”

“I really loved her but she didn’t see that.” He was looking at me now. His expression was different, one that I haven’t seen on him before.

I didn’t know what to say, it was hurting me to see him like that. “Joey I—.”

He stood up and looked back at me. “If you’re going to let the status of my life get in the way, then I don’t think it’ll work.”

My heart dropped to my stomach. I quickly stood up, wanting to say something but I still didn’t have any words. He stared at me as I desperately tried to think of something to say. Moments passed and I still didn’t say anything.

He let out a sigh as he came closer and kissed my forehead. “I’m gonna go now, Jaz.”

My feet were planted on the ground and my lips were sewed shut. I said nothing as I watched him walk out the door and leave me in the darkness of my apartment. I listened as the echoing sound of his footsteps walking down the stairs faded away.