Yes folks.  What you have just witnessed was me, Justin Timberlake, the man, the myth, the legend, getting dumped by my girlfriend. Well…ex-girlfriend now.

Damn.

We’ve broken up so many times.  This time, I don’t think she’s coming back.  I don’t even know what I could do this time to get her back.  She was the only girl I actually loved.  I cared about the other girls I’ve dated but nothing like what I felt with her.  My family loved her, my friends loved her, I loved her, and yet I still couldn’t hold on to her because I was too stupid.

I may seem like the perfect guy on TV but I’m far from that.  The media is a crazy thing ya know?  I got the world thinking I’m this amazing guy who would be the perfect boyfriend when in actuality, I’m an asshole.  I said stupid shit to her, I did stupid shit, and quite frankly, I’m amazed she stuck by me for so long.  She always called me out on my stupid shit even if I wasn’t trying to hear it.  That’s how I knew she loved me.  I think that’s why my mom loved her too.  She made her job easier. 

And all that “I don’t cheat” stuff? Bullshit.  Y’all believed me when I said it too didn’t you?

Ha. I’m one convincing motherfucker.  I should teach a class on it and call it “Bullshitting 101”

I cheat. 

I cheated like it was going out of style.  I did it when I was on tour and even sometimes when I came home.  I don’t know why I did it.  I just did just for the hell of it. 

I never did it to her though…except for that one time.  Yup.  One time.  One stupid time that wasn’t even worth it.  She found out and here I am.  Alone.

I fucked up the one good thing I had in my life. 

So now you’re probably asking yourself why the hell did she stay with your ass for two years if you’re such a douche?

Well. Let me start from the beginning.

She was different than any of the other girls I’ve approached.  Most girls were putty in my hands as soon as I said anything.  I spotted her in this restaurant in New York that I was at with a couple of my friends.  I can’t even remember what I was in New York for.  It was probably for some recording or something.  But anyway, as soon as she walked in she had my attention.  Partially because her friends screamed her name when she came in. 

She nodded and smiled at them…like they were her adoring fans. She was beautiful.  I still remember what she wore.  She had on this black short sleeved shirt that was like turtle neck but not as lame and these jeans.  Damn I loved those jeans.  She had on skinny jeans that fit perfectly.  Like the jeans were made just for her.  Her shoes were hot too. And her hair was pulled back into a ponytail.

The whole time she was in the restaurant I kept stealing looks at her trying to observe her to see if she was approachable.  My boys actually caught me a couple times.

“What the hell are you looking at?” Trace said.  That’s my best friend.  But of course you knew that.

“That girl over there with the black shirt.” I swear once I said girl, everyone at the table turned to look.

Then Dre said. “I approve.  Go for it.” I figured he saw her when she came in like I did.  I planned on walking over to her table when we were on our way out but she ended up walking past our table to go to the bathroom.  She looked even better up close.

She didn’t even look at me twice.  I was thinking either she didn’t see me or she did see me and didn’t give a damn. 

I waited for her to come out the bathroom before saying something to her…and plus I wanted to get a good look at her ass.  She walked past the table and I stopped her by grabbing her hand. She turned, looked at her hand, and then looked at me like she was gonna slap me in my face.  I never admitted it to her but she was intimidating as fuck when she did that. 

“So you like my hand.” She stated.

“It’s nice.” I said to her.

“Why are you holding my hand?”  “I wanted to talk to you.” 

“Whatever happened to saying excuse me?” She gave me a run for my money.  She didn’t make it easy at all.  By this time, everyone at the table was snickering.

“I wanted to make sure you’d stop.” I said flashing a smile.

She didn’t buy that at all. She looked at me with narrowed eyes. “So you decide to hold my hand instead of being normal and saying excuse me?”

“I’m sorry. Excuse me miss. My name is Justin.  May I have a minute of your time?” She smirked at me.  She was amused but I could tell I probably had literally a minute of her time.

“You have one minute.” She said looking at her watch.

“Damn. Okay. Well what’s your name, where are you from, and can I get your phone number.”  

“My name is Khalila, I’m from New York, and No.” She shot me down in front of everyone.

“Why not?” 

“Because I don’t give out my phone number to strange men who hold my hand like they know me.  I’ll take yours though.”  

I told you earlier that she was different.  Most chicks had their number written down for me before I even asked.

“What if I said I didn’t give out my number?” 

“Then I’d say if you wanted to talk to me, you’re shit outta luck because you’re not getting mine.” 

I gave her my number. I figured if she was crazy, I’d just change my number.  It was so weird for me to give my number to a chick.  I felt like she was running game on me.

“Well Justin,” She said. “It was nice meeting you but I must return to my table.” 

“You too Khalila.” 

She walked away slowly.  It was like she knew I wanted to see what she was working with back there.  I told y’all I loved those jeans.  She had a whole LOTTA ass.  The kind of ass you could sit a cup of water on.

When she went to my table she didn’t even look over at me once.  Or if she did, I didn’t catch her.  When we left, I arranged with the waiter to pay for their food in hopes that she would remember to give me a call.  I even left her note that said “Call me.” Yeah it was kinda lame but I wanted her to call me.

“Yup.” I said licking my lips.

“She looks like she’d cut your ass if you did something stupid.” Rob said laughing.

It was true though.  I knew if I was gonna pursue this chick, I couldn’t mess up.  I was really taken by her though.  She didn’t call me that night…or the next day or the day after that.

It bugged me.

I’m so used to getting what I want that it really bothered me when she didn’t call me right away.  It took her like two weeks to call me.  By that time, I was already back in L.A. I still remember our conversation.  I was taking a nap when I heard my phone ring.  I looked at the caller ID and saw I number I didn’t recognize. 

“Hello?” I said groggily.

“Ugh. You sound nasty.”  

“Who is this?” 

“You mean you don’t recognize my voice?  Maybe I should’ve sent you a picture of my hand since you liked it so much.” It was her.

“Khalila.” 

“Justin.” She responded.

“Thanks for paying for our food. That was nice of you.”  

“You’re welcome.  I was hoping you would’ve called me that night.” 

“I know.  That’s why I didn’t call you. I don’t usually do what people expect.” She had a knack for making things more difficult than they had to be.

“Oh. Well…how are you?” 

“Just dandy.” 

“That’s good.” 

“You?” 

“I’m good.” 

“That's nice.” She said.  Awkward silence on the phone always pissed me off.

 “Do you wanna go out sometime?” I was better at talking to people in person. 

“Yeah we could do that. When do you want to go?” 

“Well I’m in L.A. now but I’ll be back in New York next week so I can call you then to arrange something.” 

“Okay.” She didn’t believe me.

“You don’t believe me.” 

“I didn’t say that.” But she thought it.  I knew she did.

“Alright.  So next week it is then?” 

“Yup.” 

“Okay well I’ll talk to you later Sweetheart.”

“My name is Khalila.” She was such a hard ass.

I laughed.  “I mean Khalila.” 

“That’s better. Bye Justin.” 

“Bye.” 

That next week was the beginning of the saga that is or was Justin and Khalila.