July 8th, 2016, 10:30 pm

Jenna Chasez yawned and stretched out on the sleek black leather couch. Even an ordinary day of writing and interviews for eight hours a day followed by dinner and hanging out with her husband in his studio could tire a woman out. Tonight they were alone; a welcome change from the slew of producers and clients crowding in the past few weeks. JC’s talents were in high demand these days. While she was proud of his revived purpose in life, couple time was always appreciated.

JC turned around from his iMac. He’d been mixing a thirty second snippet of  a song for the past hour. He would change a minutia of a certain element but it (mostly) sounded the same. “Doing okay back there, Jenna?”

“Yeah, just a bit tired. Think bedtime is around the corner.”

“You want to sit on my lap?”

This is random. “I won’t be interrupting you?”

He waved his hand nonchalantly. “Nah. This project has reached a stopping point.”

Moments like these demonstrated the patience JC showed with her anxiety. He never held it against her; simply worked with her to improve coping skills.

“Besides,” JC added as she approached him, “since when does a man need an excuse to cuddle with his wife?”

She chuckled before gingerly sitting down. “Not on my watch.” Despite being together four years, she still worried about her size crushing his tiny frame. Not to mention the office chair he occupied was relatively new. “

“You won't break me, Jen. I promise.”

“I'd feel bad if something happened, though.”

“It won't.” He wrapped her in his arms and planted a kiss on her lips. It was her favorite kind: tender with just the right amount of intensity. He knows to how to love me. They paused to brush foreheads before exchanging another lip lock.

“So, what’ve you been doing ?”

“Gathering up ideas because someone’s birthday is approaching. A milestone one, no less.”

JC sighed. “That it is, Jen.”

“Aren't you excited?

He shrugged. “Not really. Why?”

“Well. It means you've graced this earth with your presence for 40 years. Years filled with music, laughter, smiles, friendship, love, conquered obstacles.”

“You make it sound so exciting.”

“It is! Once upon a time, your life hung in the balance.”

“Don’t remind me. I prefer not to think about it.”

“Neither do I. Regardless, the universe could have verged in a different direction. We should celebrate our good fortune.”

“And you're a significant reason why it didn't.” He kissed her forehead. “If you want to plan a big shebang, be my guest. As long as I have a glass of wine in my hand and you beside me, I'll be content.”

She chuckled. There’s the man I love. “That can be arranged.”

20 minutes later, she laid on their king bed with her phone in hand. JC had gone in the shower. He teasingly asked her to come with him but she declined. Not that she wanted to miss seeing him naked (those opportunities were already plentiful) but she needed to ask someone about her idea without him in immediate vicinity. She was thinking dinner and drinks at a nice restaurant followed by dancing at a nearby club. If anyone could plan a big bash, it was Lance Bass. His reputation as a generous host was known all around Hollywood.

She typed: “Hey, it's Jenna. I'm thinking about having a party for JC’s 40th next month. Know anyone who’s good at planning?”

“One stipulation: I get an invite on the guest list.” He replied a minute later.

“Fair enough. You have one anyway :p”

“Call my wedding planner, Sharon. She will hook you up.” He added her personal cell phone number. “Many late night chats agonizing over details happened with this lady. Tell you what, I’ll message her right now and let her know you’ll get in touch with her.”

“Aww, you don’t have to do that. Thank you!”

“Anytime, beautiful.”

Jenna smirked. “Don't tell him you said that.”

“What? He would agree with me. Maybe for different reasons, but he would.”

“Not if you keep this act up!”

“Hey now, as desirable of a specimen he is, I got my own.”

Speaking of…  JC exited the bathroom with a white towel low slung around his hips. Droplets scattered across his skin accompanied by a smug expression. A twinge between her thighs indicated the start of arousal. “Dammit, Joshua. Trying to make me jealous?”

“Maybe. You passed this” He gestured down his torso. “Up”

“I needed to ask Lance something. He called you a desirable specimen.”

JC rolled his eyes playfully. “He once referred to my dick on a nationally syndicated radio show. Nothing he says surprises me anymore.”

Jenna raised her eyebrow. “Really? What brought that up?”

“I don’t know what the context was. When you live in closed quarters for years like we did, you learn practically everything about each other.”

“Did you know at the time?”

JC frowned in thought. “I had an inkling but didn’t push it. He admired my body a little longer than any straight man would.”

Jenna grinned as she surveyed the view. “Don’t blame him there. Your body is a masterpiece to behold.”

He sat down next to her on their bed as the garment slid and revealed a well-defined ‘v’ line.  

“He also called me beautiful in passing. I said he shouldn’t let you hear him say that and he’s like, what? He would agree with me!”

Her husband nodded. “That I would. The most beautiful being on this earth, I might add.”

Now Jenna’s cheeks flushed. “Yeah right.”

JC brushed her hair out of her eyes. “Ever since we met, your heart has been kind, giving, encouraging and compassionate. You saw hope when I didn’t. When everyone turned their backs on me, you were there.”

“Much more sweet talking like that or my panties will drop like it’s hot.”

Maybe they should.” He kissed her. “I do mean that, though.”

“I know, babe. I love you.”

He smiled and stroked her cheek. “I love you, Jenn. Let me show you all the ways.”

“Go ahead,” she answered.

July 31st, 2016, Noon

Jenna contacted Sharon the next day. She was everything Lance said she would be: professional, organized, funny and good humored. Most of their communication occurred over email and text because JC would catch on otherwise. She rarely talked on the phone whilst home so multiple phone calls would raise suspicion. Even with Sharon’s help, between party planning and managing a full time job, Jenna found herself overwhelmed and overstretched. Today racing thoughts invaded her mind from the details. She invited Lance to meet her for lunch on break.

“Hey, girl, how’s it going?”

“This shit will go up in flames, Lance”

“Why do you say that?”

“I'm in over my head. I shouldn't have done this.”

Lance raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure this isn't anxiety talking?”

“He hates being the center of attention. It’s too many people, too much to do before then. I’m screwed.”

“Stop.” He advised gently. “Take a few deep breaths. Stress is talking right now.”

Jenna inhaled and exhaled, a counting each breath as she did so. “JC does this with me, too.”

“It’s a good technique. “Forget about the details for a minute. Why did you decide to plan this in the first place?”

“To celebrate his life and accomplishments. Bring his closest family and friends together and say ‘We love you. We’re glad you're here with us.’ He rolled his eyes at me when I first suggested it.”

“That’s not surprising. Still the humble man after all these years.

“It’s incredible how much he’s overcome in such a short period. Sometimes I wonder, though.”

“About?”

“What would've happened if he had died. How badly that would’ve hurt, wondering why he didn't get a second chance.”

“Yet he did, Jenna. He’s alive, happy and successful. He has an adoring wife, a niche in the music business he loves and a trustworthy circle of family and friends. All at the same time, no less.”

“What a miraculous concept, eh?”

“Yep. When you go home tonight, kiss your husband. I'm not talking about a mere peck. Lose yourself in him, let him comfort you. He’ll give you the perspective you need.”

That afternoon Jenna threw herself into her work for distraction. It worked for the most part. By the end of the afternoon, her mind had lingered elsewhere: her husband’s embrace. It had the power to reduce her to tears if holding on for too long. Sometimes she didn’t like him to touch her because she’ll break on contact. On the other hand, it comforted her in a way nothing else could. Right now she craved him in the most intimate way possible.

6:00 p.m.

He grinned upon sight of her. “Hey love. Welcome back.”

Jenna returned the same. “Hey handsome. Good to see you.”

They greeted each other with a quick kiss. She brought him closer and nibbled his bottom lip. He tickled her lips with his tongue and encircled his arms around her waist. She nuzzled her nose into his neck. Damn you Lance; you were right.

“Why so tense, baby?” He whispered.

She sighed and didn't answer at first. Do I or don't I? I can't reveal the secret but can't lie, either. “I'm coordinating a surprise for your birthday. An element fell through today so I'm stressed out about it.”

JC shrugged. “It won't matter in the grand scheme of things. You'll think of something better.”

He acts like that’s a given. Why not? He trusts and believes in you.

“Look, I appreciate that you're taking the time to do something awesome. However, please don't lose your mind in the process. Remember to take care of yourself.”

“You’re always looking out for me.”

“My wife’s well-being is important. I’ll support you no matter what.”

This is why I agreed to marry him: the steadfast belief in me, even when I don’t have it in myself. It doesn’t matter if I throw a gala with 500 A-Listers. Quiet moments like these build our marriage. We understand each other.

“You got awful quiet.”

“Just reaffirming why we’re married.”

“And why is that, baby?”

“Your faith in me. Your unadulterated belief that I can do anything I can set my mind to. That you look past my flaws and accept me anyway.”

“Same here. I wouldn’t have made it to this point without you. The mountain in front after cancer appeared unconquerable. Your constant encouragement (even when groaning on the inside) fueled my fire.”

“Like putting me on mute for a few hours?”

“Might have crossed my mind a few times.”

They both laughed and settled into one another. He might think these arms are too skinny but they uphold me in times of need. He caressed her back as she held onto his shoulders.

August 6th, 2016, 4:00 pm.

Jenna had been rushing around the restaurant for the past hour making sure everything was in place. Cocktails were to begin 90 minutes; she didn’t feel anywhere near ready. “I can't wait until the secret is out. The stress is driving me crazy.”

“It will be in two more hours. Tell you what. Why don't you go get ready? I've got it under control,” Sharon said.

“You sure?”

“Yes. You’ve carried the load long enough. I've rented a room upstairs. Go get clothes on, do your makeup. Did you pick out a special dress?”

She nodded. “It’s dark purple with ruched detailing on the side. Hugs me in the right places and enhances my assets. JC’s jaw will drop.”

“I don’t doubt it. It will be a beautiful evening, I promise”

Jenna hugged Sharon. “Thank you for all of your help.”

“You're welcome.

Her look came together fairly quickly. She opted for a neutral face with a smoky eye to match her dress. The garment was fitted but not in an unflattering way. Maybe not to Beverly Hills standards but she felt sexy. Her tousled waves draped over her shoulders. If this doesn’t warrant at least one hard on, I’m doing something wrong.

The surprise went off without a hitch. JC was genuinely pleased to see so many of his loved ones in one room: his wife, parents, brother and sister, all four guys from NSYNC and various other friends from through his life. He kissed her appreciation multiple times throughout cocktail hour and the first part of dinner. The party composed around 75 people with a positive and lively energy about the room.

Around 7:30 Jenna excused herself to the back porch of the restaurant. It overlooked the city of Los Angeles, almost an afterthought from up here. She inhaled and exhaled repeatedly, attempting to calm her panicking nerves. The wind’s whisper surrounded her, easing her aching nerves. Yet it paled in comparison to the feeling in her husband’s arms. I can’t disturb him; he’s having too much fun with everyone else.

Sure enough, he came out there 15 minutes later. Surprisingly without his signature glass of wine. “What’re you doing out here, Rosie?”

“All the people, music, bustling activity proved too much stimuli” She shuddered.

“Hey you're the one who planned this!” He teased.

“Yeah, but I did it for you. You having fun?”

“Of course. You know how to put on a party.”

She shrugged. “I had a lot of help.”

He wrapped his arms around her waist. “What about you? Aren't you enjoying yourself?”

“Honestly? Not really.”

“Jenna baby, about a month ago you said we should celebrate this occasion. I internally rolled my eyes at the idea. Tonight, you're right.”

Yes. Sweet victory. Her lips edged upward.

“The people gathered here reminded me how big of an accomplishment this is. Yet I feel like you're missing. You've worked your ass off to put together this event tonight; I want to enjoy the fruits of that labor with you.”

Jenna smiled. “Fair enough.”

“Though I dare say, you look fucking gorgeous tonight, baby.” He whispered in her ear as he hardened against her.

“Easy darling, we’re in public.”

“If it weren't for that fact, I'd fuck you in a heartbeat.”

She flushed and tingled for him. “Save that kind of talk for behind closed doors, Joshua.”

“We’re behind one right now. Night is approaching, no risk of onlookers from the road. What do you say? A quick romp on the balcony?”

“Okay. No clothes removed, though.”

“All it takes is one zipper and strategic underwear arrangement.”

“You and me then, mister.” She growled in his ear.

“God, I’ve wanted to rip into this since I saw you.”

Jenna grinned devilishly. “That’s why I wore it. I knew you’d go ballistic. Consider it one of your birthday presents.”

“Get over here.” He kissed her fiercely. She returned in kind. Tonight’s going end quite well if this is any indication.