Chris Kirkpatrick groaned as he tore the piece of notebook paper out and crumbled it into a ball and toss it behind him. The paper landed on the hardwood floor of his dining room. The floor already held 10 similar balls of paper.  He'd been sitting at his table all morning trying to write and all his brain wanted to do was provide him with the lyrics to songs. He'd been playing a mean air guitar to "Glory Days" when his phone had chirped with a text from Melinda.

‘Are you finished yet?'

He sent an ‘almost done' to his manager and went back to finishing his solo, kicking the chair to the ground as he rocked out. When the song faded away in his mind, he tried to bring himself back to the task at hand: writing a letter to his younger self. On a piece of paper, he had written:

Dear Chris, whatever you do, do not agree to write a letter to yourself.

If he was smart, he would have told his younger self to not put off the letter to the last possible second, to start working on it immediately. No one ever accused him of being smart though. He grabbed his phone and pulled up the group text messaging he had with JC, Joey, Lance, and Justin.

‘You fuckers finish this letter bullshit?'

Joey was the first to respond. ‘Weeks ago man.'

"Pin a rose on your fucking nose," Chris muttered. He was scrolling Facebook when another text came through. This time from Lance. He had finished his weeks ago as well. If the younger man had been standing in front of him, Chris would have given him the finger. It would have been a more satisfying feeling than giving it to the phone screen.

He was going through old e-mails, cleaning out his folders when a text from JC came. ‘Finished it the day Melinda told us about it.' "Of course you did, Fucker." It pretty much equated to when Melinda told them about the project - weeks ago. Justin's message had come through last. ‘You're still working on that shit man?'

"You're still working on that shit man?" Chris mocked and picked up the pen and pulled his notebook toward him again. Dear Chris, he began, try harder to join The Backstreet Boys. You don't want to end up with the fuckers you ended up with.

The paper hit the floor with the others. He pounded his forehead against the table, groaning. Why couldn't he do this? Why couldn't he write a simple letter to himself? Lifting his head, he sent off another text to his friends. ‘I had it finished weeks ago, but Melinda said no. I had to write more.'

‘What did you put?' Lance had responded.

‘Get a lawyer.' They were a few years into the group's success in America when they discovered they were getting screwed on their contract. He had gone to buy a house and found out he didn't have enough money. He had been shocked. The group had a lot of success. They had sold out shows, merchandise being sold left and right. Their CDs were flying off the shelves and he couldn't even buy a house. That was when JC had his lawyer uncle look over the contract they had signed and realized their manager at the time was stealing all their money. That led them to suing, signing with another record label, and being countersued. He didn't like to think about those years and how easily it could have been a disaster for them.

‘Fairly certain we all put that man.' JC had responded.

‘What did you guys put?' Chris was desperate. His mind completely blanked on what he'd write to his younger self. He didn't know. Did he even want to tell his younger self to change anything? Everything he'd been through led him to who he was today. He didn't know if he wanted to change.

‘Sleep with more girls.' Chris rolled his eyes at Joey's response.

‘Your dick would have fallen off if you had slept with anymore.' Justin texted.

‘I bet you put ‘do not expose Janet Jackson's boob on national TV'.'

Chris snorted at Joey's comeback. ‘Nah man, he needed that to launch him into a superstar.'

‘Fuck you.'

JC sent a text about saying no to half the outfits they wore on red carpet events. Lance had responded with sending a huge gift basket to Jason, the original 5th member of *NSYNC. Chris chuckled thinking how it all would have been different if Jason had decided to stay and they never met Lance.

‘JC outta send a gift basket to Jason too.' Chris messaged. JC had dated Lance's sister Rachel and during their announced hiatus they had gotten married. They currently lived in California with their million kids. At last count they had four, with one more on the way.

‘What makes you think I haven't already?'

That got him thinking. He was the last member standing. Joey had married his girlfriend Kelly after the group ended. He had two kids. One of which was almost ready to graduate high school. Justin had married Jessica a few years ago and had a son. He was certain they would be announcing another pregnancy soon. Lance had married Michael and a surrogate was currently carrying their twin babies, due in a couple months. When JC had announced Rachel's pregnancy last month, he had told them all to stop procreating. He even went as far as sending ‘if it fits, it ships' box from the post office stuffed full of condoms to JC. If they kept having kids, he was gonna have to take a second job so he could afford birthday and Christmas presents.

In April, the group had been honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It had been crazy to think, after not putting out new music in over fifteen years, they still had diehard fans who would nominate them. So many fans showed up, it was one of the most attended. After the ceremony, they all gathered for pictures with the star. It had been a million pictures of just the group and the star, then everyone paraded their families up to get a picture. He smiled through them all. When it came time for his family, he had his parents. There had been no wife to hug to his side. No teenager to roll his eyes at the lameness. No tough little man making faces at the photographers making everyone laugh. No little girl to wrap her arms around his neck and kiss his cheek. Not even a baby to hold in his arms.

Putting his phone back on the table, he picked up the pen and started to write.

Dear Chris,

Marry her.

*~*~*~*

Melissa Green locked the door to Gorgeous You behind her. The Florida heat slammed in to her making it hard for her to breath. The sun was fading on the horizon on the late July night. She wasn't sure why she lived somewhere where the air made it hard to breath. There were many times she contemplated moving north, but then she'd have to deal with living in a place where the air hurt her face. She wasn't sure what was worse. So she just sucked it up and continued living in the Florida heat.

Traffic in Orlando was terrible, as it always was during the summer - peak tourist season. There was a reason she chose to close her shop at 7. She missed the traffic leaving all the Disney parks. When the gates closed at ten at Magic Kingdom, you could walk faster through town than you could drive. She choose to be tucked into bed by that hour. Having the business in Orlando was good for her. She knew she shouldn't complain. Tourists in town meant people darkening her door. People darkening her door meant sales and that meant money in her bank account. Money that would then be used to feed and clothe two growing boys.

Kaleb and Cameron were growing so fast it was hard to keep up. It seemed like every week she was hitting up the mall for a brand new wardrobe. From tops and bottoms to shoes and everything in between. Shoes were ridiculous. At eight and seven, their feet were huge. They grew out of their shoes well before they even wore them out. The parishioners at the church she tried to attend every Sunday loved seeing her coming with a box full of clothes and shoes her boys had outgrown.

Gorgeous You was a boutique she had dreamed about opening for the longest time. She studied business in college, graduating seventeen years ago. After obtaining her business degree she worked at every clothing business she could from Wal-Mart to Dillards to Carters to local boutiques. She sucked up as much knowledge about running a business as she could. Then she met Val McCoy. They had worked at the same boutique in town and had become fast friends. The very best of friends. They dreamed up the concept of Gorgeous You together and five years ago, they were able to bring their dream to fruition. Val designed a lot the clothing they sold. She had a keen eye and a knack at knowing what would sell.

Melissa tapped the button on the back of her steering wheel, changing the station on the radio. She scrolled through her presets before landing on a Michael Jackson song that was playing on the 80s on 8 channel. It was a mistake. The song brought back memories that she didn't want to relive. Michael Jackson was one of her favorite singers. He was also one of Chris's favorites. There were plenty of nights where they would put the albums on Chris's record player and sit back and just listen. Those were some of her best nights.

It had been one of the most randomness of meetings nearly fifteen years ago. She had gone to a bar with a group of friends on a Friday night and Chris had been there. It didn't take much alcohol to loosen her up. By the time she had seen Chris, she was feeling good. She hadn't been nervous or on edge meeting a celebrity thanks to the drinks her friends had been plying her with. She grabbed him in a hug and proclaimed she loved him, much to the delight of her friends. Chris had been a good sport. The friends he had been with had mingled with hers and they closed the bar down that night. A couple days later he had walked in to Dillards seeking her out. She nearly died on the spot.

They lasted nearly five years. She thought they would last forever. Melissa saw them getting married and having kids. Chris saw them having a good time for as long as it lasted. She was ready for more. He wasn't. She left and he didn't try to stop her. A few weeks after that she met Val. Val pulled her out of the depression she had fallen in. It was the same time they started discussing plans for opening their own business. Gorgeous You had been a saving grace. It had given her something to look forward to, to build towards. Val eventually introduced her to a friend of hers, Trevor. They had fallen in love and married. Soon they had welcomed Kaleb and Cameron less than a year. Cameron had been a desperate attempt to save their marriage. It hadn't worked.

With the failed marriage Melissa worked that much harder to bring Gorgeous You to life. She had two young boys to support. Her boys, and eventually her business, became her everything. There were moments where she wished Chris was still in her life. Trevor never carved himself a spot deep in her heart as Chris had. Maybe that was the reason they didn't last. Melissa loved him, but not like she loved Chris. Sometimes she wondered if she should have just given in and stayed with Chris instead of pushing toward marriage and kids. At least she would have still had him. However, she wouldn't have had her boys and she couldn't imagine her life without them no matter how many nights Chris showed up in her dreams.

She hadn't seen Chris since the break up. Even living in the same town, they managed to avoid each other. As a mother, she didn't go to bars as she once did. She preferred to have a glass of wine at home now, listening to records on a record player she had found while out thrift shopping. There were some nights she and Val shared a bottle of wine in the back room of the boutique as they did inventory or rearranged the layout.

Being an adopted son of Orlando, there was always write ups in the paper about what he was doing. She saw the one about the Walk of Fame star and she saw write ups when he was hosting charity events in town. Last week there was a write up in the Sentinel about how he was hosting a back to school charity event on Saturday, hoping to receive school supplies that could be donated to those in need. It had warmed her heart. During the month of August, she held a school supply drive. Customers could bring in an item for donation and receive a discount on their final sale. It was always a huge success and she ended up delivering lots of school supplies.

Reaching her front door she brushed aside the sad thoughts and put a smile on her face. Chris was the past. Her future was inside.