"What?" Chris asked as he got out of the car seeing Melinda standing in front of him. She was giving him a look that he remembered being on the receiving end a lot during the *NSYNC days.

"In everyone's letters, there was a lot of the same. Don't wear that. Say yes to that song. Pass that song."

"Instead of doing individual letters, maybe it should have been a collective one from all of us," Chris said as he started walking through the parking lot. Melinda fell instep beside him. "We were a group, you know."

"I know," Melinda clenched her jaw, hearing the tone in Chris's voice. It was going to be one of those nights. "Your letter was a lot different than the others though."

"Hey, I tried sending you a letter. You rejected it. You got what you got." Chris snapped. "Maybe you should write a letter to yourself and tell yourself to accept my first one."

"Right," Melinda rolled her eyes. "Hire a lawyer. Don't agree to a hiatus. Oh and my favorite, ‘Your career depends on the decision of a baby.'"

Chris had to admit that last one probably wasn't the best. It was one of the thoughts that he should have kept to himself and not put to paper. He definitely shouldn't have sent it to Melinda; the woman who helped manage Justin's solo career. The newest letter he had sent had very little to do career wise. He was sure the rest of the guys had covered everything he would have put anyway. Instead he concentrated on his personal life. He was pretty sure none of the other guys had any regrets in their personal lives. Maybe Lance, but he was doubtful for anyone else. He had enough personal regrets to fill the Grand Canyon.

"Another difference with your letter is the fact that you can amend those regrets now," Melinda told him. "Justin will never be able to change the fact that he didn't do a tour with Michael Jackson. Lance can't go back and tell you guys he was gay. JC can't change the direction he took with his solo career. Joey can not get that job back that he declined. But you, you can take action today and fix what you regret. Don't let another ten years pass you by and you find yourself writing another letter filled with the same regrets."

Melinda's words stayed in his head the whole night. He was able to shove it aside during his hosting duties. Up on stage he hammed it up; told jokes, told stories. Poked fun at each of the guys knowing they couldn't defend themselves. He joined the scheduled band for a few songs. When he was on stage, nothing else mattered. He was zoned to what he needed to do. Off stage was a little different. Melinda's words were right there. They were in his head when he talked to fans, when he took another selfie, when he signed old *NSYNC photos.

Letting Melissa go had been the dumbest thing he had ever done. At forty-six, the list of dumb things he'd done was long and distinguished. Right at the top though, was Melissa. Written in bold capital letters and underlined a dozen times. She was the one who got away because he was too stupid to keep a hold on her.

Melissa had been the shining light in his life. It had been a stroke of luck that he found her; that she found him. It had been the first time he'd been in the bar where they met. They were supposed to go somewhere else, but at the last minute decided to check out a new place. She had been just as crazy as he. They had each other laughing all night. Like an idiot, he didn't get her number, but had remembered her telling him where she worked. There were six Dillard's in the Orlando area. She had been at the last one he checked.

He felt like a creeper staring at her through the clothing racks in the women's section. He had certainly garnered many looks that had him pretending to browse the clothes in hopes they'd think he was a clueless man who was trying to pick out clothes for a wife. Grabbing a shirt from the rack, he approached her.

‘Excuse me miss,' he said making his voice higher, holding the blouse up in front of him. ‘Where's your fitting rooms? I'd like to try this on.'

‘I'll show you,' Melissa turned, a smile on her face. She gasped seeing Chris standing in front of her.  ‘Oh my God,' she stated, a hand covering her mouth. ‘What are you doing here?'

‘Shopping.' Chris shook the shirt in front of him. ‘You think it's me?'

‘You'd have to shave your back hair first,' Melissa laughed reaching out to turn the shirt around. He had been holding it up backward. The shirt had a plunging back.

‘Pity,' Chris said hanging the shirt back up on a random rack. ‘I like it so much better the first way.' He wiggled his eyes brows.

‘Perv.'

From there, they never looked back. They slid into a relationship like they had known each other for years. She went with him to events he still had scheduled with *NSYNC even though they were on hiatus. They had dinner with the guys until one by one they moved from Florida. They'd go to Pennsylvania to see his family and catch Steelers games. She moved in with him and their entire life was shared. After three years together people started asking if he was gonna ask her to marry him. He would always shrug off of their questions. He didn't want to think about marriage and babies and being tied down. He never wanted that for himself. At the time only JC and Joey were married with kids. Being on tour for as long as they did, he was used having to answer to no one. None of his girlfriends ever had such a hold on him.

When he and Melissa hit year four, the rumblings of marriage got louder. It was then when he realized that Melissa had wanted marriage and babies. They had found themselves wanting different things in life. They tried to make it work, but eventually the wheels fell off. One night she had asked him point blank if he saw himself marrying her and having a family. When he couldn't give an answer, she had her answer. She had moved out and was gone. A couple years later, he had seen her engagement photo in the paper. It hadn't been long after he had seen a baby announcement.

It made his heart hurt at the time thinking of some other guy giving her what he couldn't or wouldn't. There had been no one to blame but himself. If he could go back in time, he would change his answer. Marriage and kids hadn't been something he thought he hadn't wanted. Now he would give anything to have just that. To have what JC had. To have what Justin had. To have what Joey had. To have what Lance had... ‘Well maybe not quite what Lance has,' Chris thought with a smirk. The feeling would only get worse in the coming months when their group chat would be filled with photos of newborn babies. Before long Joey would be sending photos of a grandchild. Joey would be a grandpa before he would even get to discover what it felt like to be a father.

If he ever got to discover that feeling.

*~*~*~*

"What are you going to do?"

"Sit here, drink a glass of wine, watch Lord of the Rings." Melissa answer Val. The house was quiet. Kaleb and Cameron were spending the night with her parents. They had been begging for a sleepover all week and she finally relented. She was gonna meet up with them tomorrow and go to Universal. Val was taking care of the store giving her a much needed day off with her boys.

"So your typical Saturday night then?"

"You're such a bitch." Melissa laughed.

"Come on Mel," Val sighed. "You saw the letter. I know you did. I saw it posted by at least 10 people on my Facebook alone."

Melissa sighed. She did see the letter. Had been seeing the "Letter To Me" series Billboard had been doing for weeks. Every week a top musician's letter would be revealed on their website. This week had surprised everyone. On Monday, letters from all the members of *NSYNC had been released. Not a collective one, but individually. She read Joey's first, laughing until there were tears in her eyes. He was such an idiot. She loved him. She missed him. JC's had come next. It had brought sadness and tears when he talked about his failed solo career, but her heart swelled when he told himself about the wife and kids he would have. Lance had brought more tears as he talked about hiding who he was. Justin's had brought more laughs. It took her until Wednesday to read Chris's letter.

The flood gates had opened. Carrie Underwood had certainly been right. You couldn't cry pretty.

"It doesn't matter Val. It was ten years ago. I've moved on. I have Kaleb and Cameron now. I have the shop. It's all I need."

"None of those keep your bed warm at night."

"Big Ben does."

"Your dog can't provide everything you need in bed Mel."

"That's what Bob is for."

"The man practically wrote you a letter asking for you back."

"That might mean something if ten years haven't passed." Melissa told her friend. "Why should I crawl back to him after so much time? I would have leapt into his arms if he had written that letter right after we broken up. I would have given him six months to write that. If he had said those words in that time span, I would have gone back to him immediately. But he didn't. I've moved on Val. I married Trevor. I had Kaleb and Cameron. Chris used to be life. Now he is just someone that I used to know."

"Bullshit." Val said simply. "Bull-fucking-shit. You can't feed me that line of shit and expect me to believe it."

"Val..."

"No. Just fucking no. You know damn well Trevor was never going to work out. Why? Because you were in love with Chris. Trevor never stood a chance. Chris finally pulled his head out of his ass and realized what he lost. You have a chance to be with him. You have a chance to have everything you've ever wanted and you're not gonna take it because of how many months you've torn out of a calendar?"

"Months? Val, it's been years! I've tossed ten years worth of calendars away!"

"You're my best friend Mel. I love you. You know I do. I want to see you happy."

"What makes you think I'm not happy?"

"Because you're my best friend," Val said softly.

"I hate you."

"No you don't. You know you love me."

"Yeah," Melissa sighed.

"So... you'll contact Chris?"

"I'll think about it."