A week later and Melissa had yet to make a decision. She had been doing everything other than thinking about the letter. There wasn't a spec of dust to be found in her house. She even cleaned the walls and found the floors in both of her sons' rooms. The floor in their closets hadn't been seen in years. She went through her clothes and decluttered items she hadn't worn, didn't like, and didn't fit. She worked in the yard, digging up flower beds, planting new flowers, laying mulch. She even started staining the fence that encased her back yard.

Val, thank God, had kept quiet. There had been many looks sent her way, especially when she saw the paint chips laying on the counter. It was easier to ignore looks than it was to ignore words. Her home was bound to have a complete makeover before she would decide what to do. Part of her wanted to call Chris immediately; tell him she loved him. The other part called her the world's biggest idiot and told her to forget the piece of shit. She even started writing a Dear Abby letter before ripping it out of her notebook and tossing it in the trash.

It was when she laid in bed at night that it really hit her. Her brain wouldn't quiet and let her go to sleep. Instead it decided to play home movies of every moment with Chris. Then she'd end up crying in to her pillow thinking about the memories; how much she loved him and how much he hurt her. In the mornings if felt like she was hung over. Her head was in a fog. She needed the full pot of coffee to get her going. She'd been late opening the store twice this week.

Melissa even tried to make a pro and con list. There were many more pros than cons but the cons held three of the most crucial points. Didn't want to marry. Didn't want kids. Broke her heart. The pros column ran all the way down the page. She hadn't been hard pressed to list what she loved about Chris. ‘Oh how I love thee, let me count the ways,' her brain had chanted as she cranked out bullet point after bullet point. His laugh... how he made her laugh... his smile...

There wasn't an issue with her loving him. The issue was with him loving her. Could she trust that he had changed? Could she reconcile their relationship? It wasn't just her anymore. It was Kaleb and Cameron. What would happen to them if she and Chris didn't work out again? They would be heartbroken. Could she put them through that? What if it did work out? Could she deny herself the love of the man who held her heart? Could she deny her boys having an incredible father? Ultimately she needed to decide if she could put her heart out there again. Chris had damaged it the first time around. This time she was less sure stepping in to a relationship with him.

If she had that answer, she could put all this behind. With that answer she could either go to Chris and they could move forward or she could ignore him and keep him in her past. It would be a regret Chris would have to live with for the rest of his life. Eventually she'd be just a wisp of a memory. She'd be the one who got away. For her she had her kids, Kaleb and Cameron. She had her dog, Big Ben. She had her best friend Val and good group of friends. She had her business. He would always be the one who didn't want to stay.

*~*~*~*

The days went by at a crawl. Chris wasn't sure why he had hoped the letter would do anything. It had been a stupid idea. It had been stupid thinking Melissa would come back to him after all these years. Like she would just magically reach out to him after reading a letter - if she even read the letter at all. If she hadn't, she was probably the only person in the world who didn't. He had fielded calls and messages since it came out. People wanted a follow up. They wanted a more in depth story. He had told Melinda a resounding no. Not only no, but a hell no. He had already opened his heart up once just writing the letter. It wasn't going to happen again.

He damned the "Letter To Me" series. It was enjoying to read the regrets other superstars in the music industry had. He probably would have enjoyed it more if he hadn't been part of it. He felt like a total tool using it as a chance to get a girl. It felt like he totally cheapened the whole thing. Many times this week he wished he had put his heart in a box, locked the door and just relied on his humor and sarcasm to get through the letter. Everyone would have expected that from him. No one expected a bleeding heart. The text messages from the group had proven that to be true.

He felt like an idiot reading the letters the guys had done. His didn't stack up. Lance's had caused a lot of introspection for him. He had wished Lance had felt comfortable enough coming out to them during the group. None of them would have cared. They would have been supportive if he wanted to publically come out or if he wanted to keep it a secret. To live all those years hiding who he was... Chris hated that he had to do that. That was something he should have told his younger self. Dear Chris, don't be so quick with a joke. Take care of your brothers and make sure they are truly okay. Don't let them hide.

JC's had come out masterfully written. He had expected no less. Though Chris did wonder if anyone caught the backhanded compliments he threw at Jive and WEG. He hadn't envied JC one bit when he was trying to release a solo project. While he supported both Justin and JC, he could see JC was getting hosed from the sidelines. They had been put in a tough position. They supported them both. To speak out in support of one meant being against the other. The gimmick JC had always gave him fodder for jokes, ones that he still used today, especially when he came across a GIF on the Internet. Dear Chris, tell JC to forget the pomp and circumstance surrounding him and just get in the studio and do what he does best - sing. That it's the only thing he needs.

Joey's letter had caused him to laugh. He had laughed for a good hour after he had read it. It had been so serious; the regrets he had with Kelly and Briahna. Regrets he had with his acting and Broadway. It had all been a joke. At the end of it, he told his younger self to forget everything he had written because his life had turned out pretty damn awesome.  Dear Chris, tell Joey watch out for the platform door while rehearsing for Celebrity in New Orleans.

Justin's letter had read exactly how he thought it would. He had stayed away from controversial topics such as Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. He spoke on his music and his creativity and who he wanted to make a record with. Who to soak up the music from because they didn't have as much time in the world has many people would have liked - Prince, Michael Jackson, David Bowie. Dear Chris, try to not let the stardom go to the infant's head. When it seems like he's getting too big for his britches, knock him back down to earth.

He was torn between physically reaching out to Melissa and just letting it go with the letter. If she hadn't contacted him by now, she probably wasn't going to. He wished she would, even if it was to tell him to fuck off. Then he'd know. Then he wouldn't spend weeks thinking that at any time Melissa could come waltzing back into his life. It was a stupid thing to do. He didn't expect her to leave her husband for him. By now it was around ten years for them. Aside from the first baby announcement, he was sure she had a handful of other kids she was chasing around. He was sure she was the greatest mother in the world.

When he started imagine Melissa's kids looking like him, Chris knew he had completely lost it. That ship had sailed. Melissa was happily married, with a bunch of kids. She didn't regret him. She had moved on with her life and found what she wanted. He was the one filled with regrets. Those weren't on her. Those were squarely on his shoulders.

Before he could stop himself, he opened his phone and typed her name in to the search bar wondering what would come up. At the top of the page was an article from the Orlando Sentinel ‘Local Woman Opens up New Boutique on East Michigan'. He tapped the link with his thumb and waited for the article to load. Underneath the headline, was a picture of Melissa standing outside a store front window that said ‘Gorgeous You'. She was just as beautiful as he remembered.

He skimmed the article reading how she grew up in the area and how she worked many jobs in the clothing industry to gain the knowledge and experience. With that knowledge and experience, she finally decided to take a chance and open up her own store. Pride washed through him. In the middle of the page, another photograph caused him to pause. Melissa was standing behind the check out counter, but it was the two little boys sitting on the counter that drew him. Chris wasn't the greatest when it came to judging ages on kids. He never got the ages correct on JC's kids. They looked young though. One barely looked to be out of the baby stage. They still had the baby-ness of their faces.

He zoomed in on the picture, looking at the boys, seeing Melissa all over them. Their smiles, their eyes, the color of their hair. He fell in love with them immediately and felt a wave of sadness wash through him at what he had let slip through his fingers. Zooming back out until both boys and Melissa were in the photo, he stared longingly. That could have been his. That could have been his family. Instead someone else was raising what should have been his.

Reading through the article, he gobbled up the information Melissa gave about her children, Kaleb, 3, and Cameron, 2. However it was one line that stood out. ‘Being a single mother to two small boys, I am thankful I have a strong support system around me.' He stared at the phrase. Single mother. It repeated itself over and over in his head. Single mother. Single mother. Single mother. He was certain his heart was beating in sequence with the chant.

Melissa wasn't married. His heart wanted to jump out of his chest and sing from the top of the tallest building. Melissa wasn't married. He tried to beat his heart back down. Just because Melissa was no longer married, didn't mean she was available. She could have remarried. She could be in a long term relationship. The article was dated five years ago. A quick Facebook search told him that Melissa's store was still in business. He grinned. "Good for you woman." Pride washed though him. Orlando was tough on businesses. Most people came for Disney. They didn't venture out in to town to shop. Disney, hotels, and chain restaurants thrived. Everything else struggled and eventually went out of business. There she was though, five years later.

"Five years ago," he muttered and looked at the photograph of the boys again. They'd be eight and seven now. More than likely a handful. He wondered what they were like, if they were funny like their mother or if they had a more serious demeanor. Did they play in sports? What was their favorite animal to see at Animal Kingdom? What was their favorite ride at Magic Kingdom and were they excited for the new Star Wars Land that was schedule to open next year.

He could see them all spending the day at the park when Star Wars opened, flying in the Millennium Falcon, riding the Galaxy's Edge so many times they wouldn't be able to walk straight. They would get pictures with Storm Troopers, Darth Vadar, Luke, and Leia. They would hit up the gift shop buying the latest merchandise. He would probably end up buying a huge Lego set with a 1,000 pieces. They'd go back home and spend hours at the dining room table putting it together. There would be many battles had with their new lightsabers.

Chris could picture it all and he desperately wanted it all. Writing the letter had been great and all, but it wasn't enough. He needed to do something more to show Melissa that she was his biggest regret and he was ready to be her husband. He was ready to become a father to her kids and all the other kids they may have.

‘I'm taking the plunge.' He texted to the group.

‘If you're on your way to get married and you didn't invite us, I'm gonna kick your ass.' Joey immediately replied. ‘It's bad enough Justin didn't want us at his wedding.'

‘Fuck you.' Justin responded. ‘Are you gonna find Melissa?'

Chris blinked at Justin's question. He had never mentioned in the letter who he was talking about. He never even told the guys her name when they messaged him about it.

‘Like we didn't know who it was about.' Justin sent. He also sent a GIF of himself staring in to the camera as it zoomed closer to him. It had been captured from a segment he did on Jimmy Fallon's show. He was fairly certain the look on Justin's face had been because of a joke about Lance.

‘Good luck man.' Lance sent. ‘If it works out, I know a good wedding singer.'

This time it was JC's turn to send the ‘fuck you'. Chris snickered at the response. When Lance married Michael, Lance had asked JC to perform their first song. He had did a beautiful rendition of ‘Why Do Fools Fall In Love'. Afterward, they had given him shit for being a wedding singer. ‘Let us know if there is anything we can do.' JC told him.

‘If it doesn't work, you all fly in so we can serenade her.'

‘Lance doesn't remember the words.'

‘Fuck you.' Armed with Lance's response, Chris grabbed his keys and sunglasses and left his house.