"Idiot."

"I know."

"I swear Mel, you are fucking stupid."

"I know."

"If there was a ‘World's Biggest Idiot' category for the Guinness Book of World Records, you'd win it. Your picture would be right there in between the freaky girl with the long ass fingernails and the dude with the long ass tongue... I mean what the fuck Mel? How could you let him walk away afterward?

"I'm an idiot. I'm stupid." Melissa mumbled into the couch pillow. She lay face down on her couch berating herself over not chasing after Chris. Val had stopped in to visit and coaxed her in to telling her what was wrong. Then she proceeded to berate her.

"What else do you want him to do? Cut open a vein and bleed in front of you?" Val asked incredulously. "Seriously Mel...what. The. Fuck."

"I know!" Melissa pushed up off the couch into a sitting position. She tucked her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them before lowering her head. "I'm such an idiot. I beat myself up all day because I didn't run after him."

"Why the hell didn't you?"

"I don't know," Melissa said feeling more tears fill her eyes. She'd been doing plenty of that since Chris left as well. The boys kept asking why she was sad. She didn't know what to tell them. "He was standing right there in front of me... God, he looked good. Better than good. He looked so good. And he smelled... he smelled..."

"Good?" Val smirked.

"Like fucking Heaven. He smelled like Heaven. If Heaven had a smell it would smell like Chris." Melissa said. "I could smell him in the shop all day after he left. I'd catch a whiff and I'd look around hoping he would be there. Because I was an idiot and let him walk away."

"It's still not too late," Val said quietly.

"Maybe it is. Maybe there was a reason I let him go."

"Yeah," Val rolled her eyes. "We discussed this heavily. You're an idiot."

"Maybe subconsciously I knew getting back together with him would be a bad idea."

"No no no," Val sat down next to Melissa. "Getting back together with Chris is not a bad idea. You're just scared. You've been thinking this to death the moment you read his letter. You've thought about it so much that you've probably changed your mind a million times." She knew her friend well. "There are only so many petals on a flower Mel. He loves you, he loves you not. Get back with him, don't get back with him. What do you want to do?"

"Get back with him but -"

"No," Val interrupted. "No buts. You want to get back with Chris. That's what you want. Tell your brain to take a hike and let your heart take over."

"My brain isn't too trusting of my heart. Prior bad acts and all."

"There's a reason prior bad acts aren't admissible. Now come on, get up," Val stood up and started pulling Melissa.

"What? Why?" Melissa let her friend pull her from the couch.

"You are going to march your butt over to Chris's," Val stated, pulling her friend toward the stairs. "You're gonna tell him that you were an idiot earlier. That you were overthinking... He'll probably understand completely. You overthinking just didn't happen over night."

"No Val," Melissa dug her feet in. "I'm not going over to Chris's. Absolutely not. Val," she sighed when Val moved behind her and started pushing.

"I'm not taking no for an answer," Val said. "You better walk up those stairs before I forcibly push you up them."

"You're such a bitch," Melissa said as she climbed the stairs under her own volition.

"I know. You can thank me by making me your maid of honor," Val grinned as she herded Melissa into the bedroom. "You can really thank me by introducing me to Joey."

"The world does not need the two of you together," Melissa said with a laugh thinking of her best friend meeting Joey. She figured within moments of meeting each other, they'd be conspiring to take over the world or at least drive her nuts.

"The world doesn't need a lot of things and yet..." Val continued pushing Melissa in her room until she was in the master bathroom. "Now. Get in there and shower. Shave too. I'll pick out something for you to wear. I'll even do your hair and make up." She left Melissa in the bathroom and went back to the bedroom and started rooting through her friend's clothes. "I will take you over to Chris's myself just how you are," she called when she didn't hear the shower kick on. "Either shower and get ready or face Chris after you had a full on ugly cry. Your choice." She grinned when she heard the shower kick on.

*~*~*~*

Melissa sat in her car outside Chris's place. She couldn't bring herself to pull up to the gate and ring the button. Her stomach was in knots and she was fairly certain the smallest thing would make her puke. There was no way she could do this. No way could she pull in to his driveway, pull up the gate, and ring the button. No way would she be able to speak when he answered the call. God, she was such a failure.

Everything she had every wanted was right beyond that gate, twenty feet in front of her. All she had to do was push the button. Chris would open the gate and she would begin a new part of her life. A life that included the men who held her heart: Chris, Kaleb, and Cameron. 

She could already imagine Chris with her boys. It warmed her heart. She knew he would be a great father. She also knew he would drive her crazy. She would come home after closing up the shop, walk through the door and be in the middle of an all out nerf war. Kaleb would be walking across the couch and jumping over the back. She wouldn't be able to yell because a few moments later Chris would be doing the same thing.

In her head, she saw trips to watch the Steelers play. She saw Chris volunteering to coach the boys' basketball team, where he'd tell the team about all the times he schooled Justin Timberlake in hoops. She could seem him on the sideline during their football games cheering louder than everyone in the stands combined. She could also see a brand new baby bundled in a soft pink blanket, cradled in his arms. Her heart ached at the image. She wanted. More than she ever wanted anything else.

‘Ring that damn bell, right fucking now!'

Melissa grabbed her cell phone when the chirp startled her. The image of Chris holding a newborn baby faded away. Reading the message from Val caused her to look around, certain she would see Val in her car, with both Kaleb and Cameron in the backseat.

‘Are you spying on me?'

‘Puh-lease. I don't need to follow you to know you are wallowing outside his house.' ‘If you don't do it, I will. I will load up the boys, go over there and ring his bell myself.'

Val would too, Melissa knew. She would drive over here, pull in the drive, ring the bell, and when Chris would answer... Melissa could only imagine what Val would tell him. If that happened, she'd pull away from the curb where she was parked and drive away, not making eye contact with anyone. Where she would go, she wasn't sure. What she did know is wherever she ended up would be her final resting place because she would be too mortified to continue living.

"You got this," Melissa told herself and put the car in to drive and let it inch forward. She took a deep breath and turned into the driveway and pulled up to the intercom. She rolled her window down and reached out. Hesitating for a moment, she finally pushed the button and waited.

*~*~*~*

Chris sat on his couch with a bottle of beer in his hand. The beer had long since gone warm, but he couldn't find the motivation to get up and dump it out or to even grab a fresh one from his fridge. Since leaving Melissa's shop, he hadn't found the motivation to do much of anything. He just sat on the couch, staring at the blank TV screen. He had really thought he would have been able to win Melissa back. He hadn't expected to fail. Between the letter he had written and the words he spoke today, he was sure Melissa would have forgiven him.

That hadn't been the case. Instead he had made her cry. It hadn't been the first time he had done as much, but he had hoped him being responsible for her tears of pain was a thing of the past. The walk back to his car had been the loneliest he'd ever taken. There'd been no more wondering on his part if he would have a future with Melissa. There was no more wondering if she would forgive him and take him back. He had his answer. Schrodinger's cat had been dead after all.

His phone chirped but he made no move to grab it. When it chirped again, he remained unmoving. Whoever was texting him, he didn't care. It didn't matter. It wouldn't be Melissa and that was the only person he wanted to talk to. He started when he felt movement on his knee. Lennon had placed his head on his knee, his eyes staring up at him. Chris lifted his hand and scratched his dog's head. "You would have like her," he told his dog. "Maybe I should have taken you with me. You could have turned those big sad eyes on her. She would have melted to the floor." He sighed "Just another regret."

His phone chirped again and this time he picked it up. The guys had begun texting to see what had happened.

‘Well???' Lance had sent. ‘You going to leave us hanging? How'd it go with Melissa?'

‘If it went good, we won't hear from him until tomorrow.' JC had chimed in.

‘We should leave him alone so they can keep out it. He's losing viable baby making time.' Joey said. ‘His age, his swimmers will probably die before they even make it halfway.'  

‘At this point, they probably don't even know what to do.'

‘I wish yours didn't know what to do.' Joey told JC. ‘Can you stay off your wife? Fuck dude.'

‘Have you seen my wife?'

‘Guys. Sister, remember?' Lance said. ‘When Chris and Melissa settle down, we should get together. Get their asses out here.'

‘Have it at C's house so he doesn't have rent a bus just to get his family somewhere.'

‘Before long you're gonna be a grandpa.'

‘Fuck off.' Joey responded to JC's text. ‘Seriously. Fuck off. That is never happening. Why would you say something like that to me?'

‘Can you guys shut the fuck up?' Chris sent before he could even think.

‘Ruining your performance?'

‘I swung. I missed. Game over. I lost.' If it had been the 90s, he would have slammed the phone down finding great pleasure. But it wasn't. He was forced to angrily tap his fingers across the phone screen. His anger building as he misspelled words that caused him to erase and tap them out again. It wasn't their fault. They didn't know he hadn't won Melissa back. They aren't the ones who fucked up to begin with. They were all settled in with their other halfs and had kids running around. He was the one who had messed up. He was the one who was alone.

‘Fuck man. I'm sorry.'

‘I'm sorry, Man.'

‘Did you not grovel? You should have taken Timberlake, get him to turn on the pout face.'

‘My dog gets the same results'

‘Did you take him?'

‘No.'

‘Fuck man, I'm sorry.'

His phone chimed with an alert that signaled he had someone at the gate. If there was ever a day he wasn't in the mood for company it was today. He had half a notion not to answer, but curiosity got the best of him. What the hell; the cat was dead anyway. He pulled up the camera to spy on his gate to see who was there before making a decision to answer or ignore. He sucked in a breath.

Melissa.

Melissa was sitting at his gate. She was here!