Pastel pink and purple boxes lay stacked on the nearby table, standing tall and proud as they waited to be opened. JC knew he could have gone through them ages ago but, well, something about that idea didn’t sit right. Like ripping through the paper would seal his fate and make all his waiting be for naught. It was silly, he knew. There weren’t any superstitions that came along with opening gifts early; he wasn’t worried that Santa or the Elf on the Shelf would be watching his every move. But, still…it would be nice to have final confirmation that he’d be opening them for a good reason. He didn’t want to return them all.

His long, slender fingers drummed against the armrest he had practically been living in for the past four days. His cheek ached from where his fist once sat, holding up his head as he consumed book after book, waiting for the phone to ring. He once had a full schedule—in fact he hardly ever kept it empty; his mother lovingly called him a workhorse—but he cleared this entire week just in case there was an update. He wanted to be available. He wanted to be ready.

Man, that saying “hurry up and wait” had never made more sense.

He sighed and removed his hand from his cheek, stretching his jaw to ease tension as he looked at his watch. His fingers drummed again; not too long after his feet joined in on the unsteady beat. No news was good news? They really should change that to no news was torture.

His heart revved at the strident of his phone. His arm shot out and he cringed at the resulting avalanche of thuds from having knocked his stack of books over. He barely spared a glance at the pile of self-help and care books. His body deflated when he saw the contact name but, rubbing his tired eyes, he answered the phone.

“Hey Lance. What’s up?” he greeted, his voice a rough rasp.

“Gettin’ ready to ask you the same thing,” Lance replied. JC almost saw the smile on his face. “Any news yet?”

“Nah, not yet. Thought you were them callin’, actually.”

“Oops!” Lance’s apologetic sigh was like a hurricane in his ear. “Sorry about that.”

“S’no big deal, man. Don’t worry about it.” He eased back in his chair, lowered his shoulders from his ears and crossed his feet at the ankles.

“I just figured something would have happened by now!” Same here. “The wait must be driving you crazy, huh JC?”

JC took his time to answer. Crazy wasn’t the right word. The wait made him anxious, unsettled, and impatient. When he wasn’t glued to the phone he found himself moving from room to room as if on autopilot; double-checking the lowered temperature on his water heater, testing the smoke and carbon monoxide detectors, placing caps on electrical sockets, moving cleaning supplies to higher cabinets, putting fresh batteries into everything. He needed to be ready.

Rearranging, clearing out, and repainting his old office was the first task on his list. He got the project done in two days flat. Easy. It was building new furniture, sorting new clothes, preparing meals, and deep cleaning every surface in sight that dragged.

“I’m just…y’know, taking every day one at a time. Figure I’ll hear something when it happens. No sense in sitting around waiting for it.” Even as he spoke he felt the hypocrisy radiating from his words. After all, that’s what he’s been doing the past four days. But Lance didn’t need to know that.

“So, you have everything set up?”

“Yeah, everything’s just about ready,” JC replied, rubbing the stubble that coated his chin. “Any other supplies I need I think I can just get handed down from Heather or Tyler.”

“That’s good! When’s the family coming in?”

“They’re flying in tomorrow. I figured everything would have been settled by this point but, y’know, it’s whatever. This way, if anything comes up, they can be here to help.”

“…You know your life is going to change completely, right?”

JC nodded rather than vocally confirm. He didn’t need Lance to remind him. The ball of nerves in his stomach that twisted and jumped around any time he thought long and hard about the week reminded him enough. The sleepless nights and his chewed-up fingernails reminded him enough. He hadn’t bitten his nails in years.

“I know.”

“You’ll actually have to settle down, you know. No more gallivanting around the world at the drop of a hat. No more late nights.”

“Can you believe I’m actually looking forward to it?” JC’s face broke into a smile at Lance’s bout of hearty laughter.

“You’re getting old, Grandpa.”

“Hey man, I’m barely a week into my new age, don’t make me dread it now!” JC scolded, the smile still present on his face.

“Nah, that can’t happen. This is the best birthday present you’re ever going to get.”

“Even if it is five days late,” JC said. “By the way, I never thanked you for helping me through this. I really appreciate it, man.”

“Oh, it’s no problem JC. You’re very welcome.”

JC sat up straight in his chair and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his bent knees. He pushed a hand through his hair and blew out a breath. “Seriously though, Lance. I know how much you and Michael wanted this for yourselves—”

“JC, don’t worry about us,” Lance interrupted, his voice firm. “Seriously. It’ll happen for us when the time is right. But, right now, the time is right for you. I’m honored that you asked me to help you through the process. …This just means I get the godfather dibs.”

“You can’t call dibs on being godfather. You’re already Joey’s kids godfather. Isn’t it time to give someone else a chance?”

“That just proves I have more experience. Plus! I live closer to you. Justin’s hardly out here now and Chris is in Nashville and Joey’s in Florida. So, if something were to happen to you, I’m the next in line anyway.”

“You’re lucky that makes sense,” JC murmured, pressing a finger into the corner of his eye. His eyebrows furrowed when a series of beeps sounded in his ear. He removed the phone and glanced at the screen. His lips parted, stomach dropping as tremors took over his hands. Unsticking his sudden dry tongue from the roof of his mouth, he froze.

It was happening. It was finally happening. He envisioned this day more than once; he’d follow some sort of laid out plan but now that it came…he didn’t know what to do. His thumb hovered over the button to switch the line. One flex of his muscles and everything would be put into motion. All he had to do was swipe. “Lance…”

“What’s up? You sound funny.” The light southern accent attached to Lance’s words amplified his concern.

“Lance…She’s calling.”

“Oh geeze! Then why are you still on the phone with me? Hang up!”

“I will, I will. It’s just…” JC swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. “Can you…um…”

“Meet you there?” Lance filled in. “JC, I’ll go wherever you need me to.”

JC smiled. A little bit of the weight that had slammed upon his chest lifted at Lance’s words. “Thanks.”

* * *

She was five days late but, as JC held the little girl in his arms and looked into her big green eyes, he knew the wait was worth it. He’d been waiting ten long years for this moment. When he had first brought up to his family the idea of his self-imposed pact he got mixed reactions. Karen and Roy were ecstatic to finally add another to their “brood”, or so Roy put it. Heather immediately began to plan visiting schedules so they could fly out to California as much as possible. Tyler laughed, claiming that he’d believe it when he saw it.

Well, now Tyler had six lb. four oz. eighteen inches of wiggling and sniffling proof wrapped in a pale pink blanket.

Ten years ago, he briefly entertained the idea of adopting a child. As he watched his friends and family begin to start families of their own, the thought of “what if” began niggling in his mind. Sparkles of joy bloomed in their tired eyes and an almost ethereal glow overcame them. It must be nice, he thought. Maybe that was why babies were considered bundles of joy. Maybe that would help fill in the gap of the missing space in his life.

He waved the notion aside. He wasn’t married, nor did he think his prospects would change within his future, not with his job and scheduling. So that was that and he filed away the fleeting desire. But the desire soon changed to a longing as he watched his nieces and nephews grow before his eyes, touching his life in ways he couldn’t imagine. And the steady tick-tock-tick-tock of his rising age reminded him that his window was slowly closing. If he wanted a chance, he’d have to dive right in.

So, he made a deal with himself that if he didn’t have children by the time he was forty he’d take matters into his own hands. He turned to Lance knowing that adoption, at one point, was on the table for him and Michael before they decided on surrogacy. Lance helped him through the process of becoming a possible adoptive parent and, boy, was it a process.

Who knew looking to be a single father would present more hoops for him to jump through? Certainly not him. He took the questioning, the home visits, and the background checks in stride.

The birth mother had approached JC a mere month after his “profile” was officially submitted. He briefly wondered if it was because of his name that he was chosen. After he sat down with her and she explained that she was inspired by his own adoption story, the concern dissipated. She wanted the best for the baby and she thought that was him. To say he was humbled and honored was an understatement. Being able to finally hold the little girl, after nine long months of visits and classes and worries, felt perfect. Felt right.

“JC, she’s so precious,” Lance whispered. He sat in the armchair and looked on as JC carefully held her in the crook of his arm.

“She slept the whole way back. I didn’t expect that,” JC murmured. He couldn’t take his eyes off her rosy round cheeks and tiny, curling fingers and button nose.

“Only means she’s not going to be sleeping later.”

“Yeah, probably.” He didn’t care. Any chance he got to hold onto her he would take. He never wanted to put her down.

“Did you finally decide on a name?” Lance asked.

“Yeah.” JC finally looked up from her and locked eyes with Lance. The moment he set his eyes on her face the name came to him. Almost as if someone had whispered it in his ear or guided his hand. “Robin Karen.”

Lance sucked in a breath and then let it out a second later. The weight wasn’t lost on him. “That’s beautiful,” he remarked. He turned his eyes down to little Robin whose eyelids fluttered shut and her mouth moved as she settled into sleep. “That’s perfect. Now she’ll always be with us.”

“She always has been.” Every night on tour, every live performance, every special occasion where they displayed their five-part harmony, they sung with Robin in their hearts and on their minds. After all, if it weren’t for her helping them hone their harmonies, JC believed they wouldn’t be where they stood with a time capsule of their success to show for it. “Lance—”

“JC, don’t even think about thanking me again,” Lance said, chuckling. “That’s the fiftieth time today.”

“I just want to be sure you know that I appreciate all that you’ve done to help me.”

“I know. Trust me. I know.”

JC grinned. “So…does Uncle Lance want to be the first to change her diaper?”

Lance snorted. “Hell no. That’s her daddy’s job.”

Her daddy. JC slowly nodded as the words sunk in. Robin’s pink lips pursed, as if waiting for a kiss. JC obliged, leaning to press a kiss to Robin’s forehead. She stirred in her sleep but didn’t wake. “Daddy,” he repeated, his words wrapped in a hum. “I love the sound of that.”

Lance didn’t stay long. She barely stirred when he left, and JC moved her to his office-turned-nursery. He clicked on the unicorn lamp and settled into the rocking chair in the middle of the room. He placed her on his raised knees and drank her in, his eyes roaming over every inch of her sweet face. To the small crop of dark hair, to her perfect nose, to her pouty lips.

“Well, it’s just you and me now, kid,” he said. Her legs kicked, loosening her swaddle. “I’m…I’m new at this. Okay? I’ve helped with my siblings’ kids but…but I’ve never had one of my own.” He reached out and gently traced his finger down the curve of her soft cheek. Her lips lifted in the corners and her cheek tilted in the direction of his touch.

His heart squeezed and a stuttering breath escaped him. Tears collected in the corners of his eyes and a tidal wave of warmth crashed through him; like hot chocolate on a cold day, like a blanket fresh from the dryer, like the hugs on his mother could provide. If it was love, he wanted to drown in it.

He sniffed and steadied his jaw. When he spoke, his words were thick, “I know I’m going to mess up sometimes. I don’t have a handbook for this sort of thing. But, we’re in this together, okay? And I’ll probably embarrass you and there may be times where you don’t like me, but I promise, no matter what happens, no matter what you do, I’ll always be here to love you, to protect you, and support you.”

Eyelashes fluttering, Robin’s eyes opened and settled on him. Her arms and legs made jabby movements in her swaddled blanket. He unwrapped her and took her tiny hands in his, marveling over the softness of skin stretched across the back of her hands. Rubbing his thumbs over her knuckles, his breath caught when her fingers curled around his large pointer finger. Pressure built in his chest, different from the kind that built before he burst into tears at their first skin-to-skin cuddle.

Different, but familiar.

Your love is like a river, peaceful and deep
Your love is like a secret that I never could keep
When I look into your eyes, I know that it’s true
God must have spent a little more time on you