"I can't believe you're leaving already." Lance tried to hide a yawn as he loaded Rachel's suitcase in the backseat of his sister's red Pontiac Sunfire.

"You didn't have to see me off." Rachel put her toiletries bag in the back seat and pushed the driver's side seat back into position. "You could still be in bed and not see the sunrise."

The sky was turning a beautiful mesh of oranges, reds, and pinks as the sun was coming up in the early morning hour. She had at least a ten hour drive time that didn't include bathroom breaks, food stops, and gas. She figured with those stops, she wouldn't be pulling back onto campus until six that night. Twelve hours on the road. Just her and the radio. And when the radio went out, a binder full of CDs. The new Janet Jackson CD was still encased in cellophane just waiting to be opened.

"Right," Lance chuckled. "With all the racket you made carrying your crap down the stairs? Did you buy a new suitcase while you were here?"

"Couldn't fit all the new clothes I'm taking back." Rachel shrugged.

"That's not filled with my boxers for you to auction off is it?" Lance stared at the black suitcase in the backseat. "Maybe I should open it and make sure..." He made a move to fold the seat forward again.

"Please," Rachel rolled her eyes and grabbed his bicep. "All your drawers are in your dresser."

"If I find a pair on ebay..."

Rachel laughed. "I didn't steal your underwear. Nor did I swipe a towel you used to wipe your sweat or take a napkin you wiped your mouth on from the trash."

"Swear?" Lance narrowed his eyes at her.

Rachel sighed and rolled her eyes before holding up her three fingers in the scout salute. "I promise the only thing in my car that remotely has some sort of your DNA is me. At least until Mom and Dad fess up that you were adopted."

Lance chuckled. "They won't fess up because it's really you who was adopted. They felt sorry for this ugly baby no one wanted."

"Shut up," Rachel laughed and shoved him playfully.

"Leave so you'll be out of my hair. Go and get that college education so you can pay me back for all the money I've forked out for you this week."

"Just consider it a loan."

"I am. I'm charging interest."

"Probably have a running tab," Rachel mumbled.

"I do." Lance grinned and hugged his sister. "Let me know when you get there okay?"

"Yes Dad," Rachel rolled her eyes as she broke the hug and climbed in to her car. Her car wasn't brand new, but it was new to her. Purchased at the beginning of the school year after her old car - a hand me down twice over with over hundred thousand miles - finally waved the white flag and died.

Once his sister was in the car, Lance pushed the driver's door closed and watched as she rolled the window down. "You planning on coming with us this summer?"

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know." She had planned on jumping on the tour bus with him for a week or two or the whole summer. She hadn't been sure. Now with everything... what happened with JC and her confusing feelings, finding out Justin liked her... she wasn't sure she wanted to tour with them. Felt it would be awkward.

"What about transferring to Central Florida?"

Again Rachel shrugged. "I don't know yet either. I'll see how the rest of this semester goes."

Lance leaned down, placing his hands on the window jam. "I know we didn't really talk about what's going on at school. I know I don't have the same experience, but please try not to let it get to you. The teasing and the jokes... It usually comes from jealously. I bet anyone would trade places with you in a heart beat."

"Thanks Lance," Rachel sent him a smile. She knew he meant well, but the teasing didn't come from jealously. Not this time.

"Let me know when you get home. Drive save." Lance stepped back from the car and watched as his sister backed from the driveway.

With a wave of her arm, Rachel put the car in drive and drove away from her brother's house. Her eyes flickered to the rearview mirror and she shook her head. He was still standing in his driveway watching her. She chuckled softly. She loved him. She'd never tell him and would deny it thoroughly if asked.

Stopping at a gas station before the turnpike, Rachel filled up her tank and grabbed snacks for the road. Back in her car she flipped through her binder full of CDs, searching for one she wanted to start off the drive with. There had to be at least 50 in the sleeves. Most were CDs she purchased but there were a lot of ones she had burnt; full of a mixture of songs she loved. Songs ranged from country to pop to hip hop. Faith Hill could give way to Ludacris who could introduce Britney Spears and roll in to Eminem.

Settling on the new CD she made last week for her trip to Florida, Rachel slid it into the CD player in the dash. Ford, her sister Stacy's husband, had a friend of his install. The old radio had been ripped out and the CD player installed in its place. It fit perfectly in the dash. She loved the red illuminations it gave in the dark.

With the music selected, a drink in the cup holder, and a full tank of gas, Rachel turned on to the turnpike that would lead her north through central Florida on her way to Interstate 75. Tucking her ticket into her sun visor she turned the radio up and relaxed in to the seat. Soon the music faded from her mind as her brain started working.

Six more weeks of classes. Six more weeks and her sophomore year of college would be history. Best of all, six more weeks and no more Spanish. The class had been the bane of her existence all year. Eight credit hours needed. Four credit hours each semester. She'd rather take math again. All she wanted to do was take her art classes. Play with her computer. Create designs for drummed up businesses or real businesses. Create web pages.

Over one and half semesters and she still couldn't roll her r's. She still mixed up her feminine and masculine words. Her Spanish mid-term had been the hardest one to date and she wasn't looking forward to the final. Could already see the hours she'd put in studying. The all-nighters she would pull.

On top of those classes, she had to have her portfolio put together to submit before the beginning of her junior year. That alone made her fraught with worry. The requirements in the application were staggering. Some she already checked off due to the classes she had taken over the last couple of years. Others it was going to take a brainstorming session to come up with creations. If she went on tour with Lance, she could pick the brains of their graphics department. It sort of felt like cheating, giving her a boost over her classmates, having professionals at her disposal.

St. Bernard.

The nicknames flashed the front of her mind and she thought ‘fuck her classmates.' They haven't given a damn about her both years she'd been in attendance, why would she worry about using what she had access to to her advantage? Two more years and she'd never have to see any of the people she went to college with again. Any of the people who ruined the first two years of her college experience. What was supposed to be a fun time. Full of friends, laughs, parties, vacations... it was supposed to be the time of her life.

Instead it was the worst.

Transferring colleges was something still on her mind. Touring Central Florida had been fun. She met a lot of different students from admissions to those in the graphics department. Everyone had been warm and welcoming. No one looked at her with malicious intent. There were no whispers behind her back. Smiles had greeted her. Enthusiasm had greeted her. A little shock and awe when some found out she was the sister to Lance Bass. But overall the afternoon spent on the Florida campus had been great.

It wasn't Mississippi State. Her dream college. The one she always wanted to go to for as long as she could remember. Her family cheered for the Bulldogs every Saturday. Went to at least one game each season. She dreamed of wearing the grey and maroon. Could she really transfer away from that? Could people really chase her away?

Merging on to I-75 North toward Ocala her thoughts shifted once more.

JC.

When she concocted her plan of asking JC to teach her how to have sex, she hadn't planned on emotions getting in the way. JC was a friend. While she found him attractive, he was still a friend. Sure when she was younger and had met the guys her brother formed a group with, she had a crush. It had only been a crush, nothing more. She had crushed on a lot of people during her elementary and junior high years. Joey MacIntyre. Johnathon Taylor Thomas. Zach Morris. Then there was Brandon Mackey, a boy who rode her bus. A year older than her. Jake Beachy who had been in her seventh grade homeroom and sat right behind her as they sat alphabetically. He would constantly talk about football. The quarterback of the seventh grade team. She thought he was dreamy.

From the first night Rachel had felt a stirring of emotions she couldn't pinpoint. Had chalked it up to her body's response of their actions. No guy she had kissed made her feel the way JC did. She felt like he owned her. Her knees had fallen weak. Her breaths stolen. She wanted to spend the night on his couch wrapped in his arms kissing his lips. Hadn't felt that since Corey when they were both learning and figuring out the art of kissing. That had been a learning expedition and while that's exactly what it was with JC, there was something different.

Something in the way he'd tuck her hair behind her ear. How he'd blame the guys she had been with instead of her. The way he'd call her honey. Call her beautiful. Say her name in that breathy way that hit her in her core. The way he'd stare at her. Emotions clouding his eyes that she couldn't read.

It was ridiculous for her to think what happened this week was anything more than what it was. JC teaching her how to please a man. Just like she asked. No more. No less. JC did not harbor any feelings toward her other than friendship. She hoped they were still friends.

Their ‘relationship' ended Wednesday night in his bedroom. When he'd returned from the bathroom, she had been re-dressed and standing nervously in the middle of his room unsure what to do. What to say. She had blushed heavily at his naked body on display. A few minutes later she had been driving back to Lance's. Thursday night she and Lance caught a movie. On Friday there was a small get together at Joey's house. Full of friends and family. She and JC had shared a conversation; albeit slightly stilted. She figured it would be embarrassing and awkward for them. She knew. Which is why she put her plan in to motion over spring break instead of waiting for the summer. A week in Florida and she was back in Mississippi for the next six weeks of classes. It was enough time for any lingering embarrassment to wane.

That thinking had been weeks ago. Before emotions had become involved. Before she knew how it felt to kiss JC, to be kissed by JC. How it felt to have his lips on hers, on her neck, on her breasts. She felt a quiver run a path inside her body to her center. She shifted in her seat hoping to alleviate the need.

That was a problem as well. Since Wednesday her dreams had been erotic. JC kissing her, sucking on her nipples. Laying her down and licking her center. She always woke up with a mouth full of pillow, wet panties, and unfulfilled desires.

Rachel signed and propped her elbow up on the door and rested her head against her fist. She didn't need this in her head on top of everything else. Hopefully the separation would help right her emotions back to how they were before. She'd go back to thinking about JC as just a friend and not someone she wanted to be with. Her emotions were out of whack. Thrown off by having sex. She was seeing things that weren't there. Attaching emotions to events that didn't need to be emotional.

When June rolled around everything would be fine.

*~*

The stage for the PopOdyssey tour had finally been completed. In New Orleans. That meant no more practicing in a rehearsal studio in Orlando. The group boarded a plane and flew to New Orleans where they'd spend the final month practicing at the Superdome. They could get used to dancing on the five story stage which spawned three mini stages. There were lifts that raised them high into the air, an elevator that brought them down. A long runway that went out into the crowd that connected with one of the mini stages. Mechanical bulls. Moving sidewalks. Trampolines. A lot of moving pieces and parts the group needed to practice on and become familiar with before the tour started.

The album was finally finished so they could focus on. Last week was spent more in the recording studio and less in rehearsals. Two months after the tour commenced, the album would be released. Their first single, ‘Pop' was debuting in a couple weeks. The music video would be shot in New Orleans and released at the end of the month.

Everything was coming together. The album. The single. The music video. The tour. Excitement was building. For the group. For the stage crew. The fans. For everyone.

JC could feel the excitement. The anticipation and the eagerness to get back out on the road and perform new songs in front of people. He was proud of the new album; couldn't wait for everyone to hear it. Lived for the demanding schedule that lead up to touring. No one believed them when they said they went on tour to take a break. When the tour started all they had to worry about was the concert that night. Sure they might have random radio interviews or photoshoots, but the number one thing in their lives was that concert that night. Not on tour, their days were filled with studio, writing, recording, rehearsing, wardrobe, interviews, photoshoots, radio spots, TV spots, shooting music videos, creating video sequences. It was exhausting.

Exhaustion meant his brain could turn off. Exhaustion meant the only thing on his mind was *NSYNC related. Unfortunately that wasn't the case this time. Right now his mind was split between *NSYNC and Rachel. It wasn't wasted on him by flying to New Orleans he'd be three hours away from her.

Three hours or three days, it didn't matter. It didn't mean anything.

JC sighed and leaned his head against the side of the airplane staring out the window. The view was a blanket of clouds. Wispy and full. The kind that looked soft enough to stretch out on and relax. There was no relaxing for him. A quick look around the first class section showed him Justin bopping his head to whatever music he had coming out his headphones. Next to Justin, Joey's head was much like his own - laying against the side of the window. His shade was pulled signaling he was more than likely sleeping. Lance and Chris sat in front of him. He had no idea what they were doing.

He had no idea why he couldn't stop thinking about Rachel. What they had was over. They didn't even have anything. Not really. They had a few hours for three nights. A few hours didn't make a relationship. Not even close. She wasn't after a relationship. Hell, he wasn't either. After his relationship with Bobbie ended, he wasn't on the market for someone else. Wanted to fly solo for awhile. Enjoy the single life. Heal from the deterioration.

Then Rachel showed up with her big green eyes. Her broken self-esteem. Her tears. He hadn't been ready. Hadn't been prepared. Didn't think he had to prepare himself for Lance's little sister. Thought he could get through teaching Rachel the ins and outs of having sex and move on with his day.

Boy had he been wrong.

If he wasn't dreaming about watching Rachel act out what he taught her with another guy, he was dreaming about her back in his bed. Where he showed her everything he wanted to but didn't. Where he loved her body in the way he wanted to those three nights. Kissing every inch of her skin as he bared it. Feeling the muscles of her stomach quiver beneath his lips as he pressed kisses to it. Feeling the smooth skin of her legs as he ran his lips from ankle to thigh. Smelling the sweet scent of her sex as he'd bare her to him. The tremble of her body when he tasted her the first time...

JC shifted in his seat, fighting back his own rising desires. It was bad enough he'd wake with a hand fisting his own dick like he was fourteen again. He pinched the denim of his jeans over his thighs and lifted his hips slightly to pull at the fabric. Staring down he looked at his wrist and the black elastic that still wrapped around it.

He'd taken the hair tie off to shower the morning after they had sex. For reasons unknown to him, he put it back on after. Had been putting it back on every day since.

Tilting his head back he closed his eyes. JC had been banking on Rachel fading from his mind with each passing day. There was no contact between them even though he'd seen her name lit up on his messenger when he signed in a few times. He hadn't sent her a message. She hadn't sent him one.

The easiest way to get her out of his mind, at least he thought so, was to find someone else. Someone else to replace her. Easier said than done. He frequented the clubs with Lance, Chris, Justin, and sometimes on his own. Danced with plenty of women. Each one would take him back to her place at the first indication from him. He hadn't given them one. Hadn't been able to follow through. Kept seeing Rachel in their faces. How the hell was he supposed to combat that?

If he wasn't fighting his sexual side, he was fighting with his worry. Rachel hadn't opened up to him fully about what was happening on campus. From the little she told him and connecting what dots he could, he understood the environment she was going back to. He was concerned with how she was daily. If she was ignoring her tormentors. If she was pushing through. If she was sinking further down under their bullying.

JC had no way of knowing. Lance hadn't mentioned anything to any of them about problems his sister may have been facing. JC couldn't even ask. He wasn't sure if Rachel even told him what was happening. The last thing he wanted to do was spill the beans. It's not like he or Lance could help. JC fancied sending Lonnie to the Mississippi campus to follow Rachel around. Nothing like a big guy the size of an NFL linebacker to scare anyone off. Enough money and Lonnie would do it. He was certain it wouldn't be appreciated though.

The worst was it sounded like she had no group of friends to combat the terrorizers. Someone she could confide in. Someone who could make her forget the mean people. Least when the teasing and ridicule was aimed at him, there were four other guys getting hammered just the same. They had each other. It was easy to laugh with friends. Much hard to laugh on your own.

He hoped her plan worked. Hoped she'd already put it in to effect and people were moving on to something else.

He hoped her plan hadn't work. Hoped she hadn't put it into motion yet.

He'd been nothing but yo-yoing on all of his emotions. Anything that had to do with her, there was what he wanted and an equally loud opposition of what he couldn't. It was maddening. It was confusing. It was tiresome.

"What's the schedule look like this week?" Joey asked after the van pulled away from the airport. When they landed, the group was quickly escorted from the airport and in to waiting vans. Two vans had been waiting to catch them, their luggage, and their bodyguards.

"Do you not have the print out?" Melinda Bell sighed.

"Refresh my memory," Joey grinned, sending a wink in JC's direction.

JC rolled his eyes and shook his head. Melinda didn't get paid enough to deal with their daily shenanigans.

"Monday and Tuesday you'll be at the Superdome the majority of the days rehearsing. On Wednesday you'll be at the Superdome as well as doing the read on the video shoot which you'll begin on Thursday," Melinda explained. "Which MTV will be on hand for because they're gonna film Making The Video which will launch the premiere."

"Awesome."

"Everything okay JC?" Melinda asked staring at the man next to her. Lonnie sat in the passenger seat while Joey sat in the back.

"Yeah," JC nodded. "Don't have anything scheduled today do we?"

Melinda shook her head. "No. You guys are clear today. Figured you guys could use the break. Hit it hard tomorrow." She watched as JC nodded again and turned his attention back out the window. She frowned and met Joey's eyes. She raised her eyebrows in question.

Joey shrugged. He didn't know what was bugging JC. He'd been a little despondent for the last couple of weeks. More turned in to himself than usual. Joey did find it weird that after ditching them at the clubs, JC rebounded with gusto. Going out every night. Throwing himself on to the dance floor. If he remembered correctly, he hadn't seen JC leave with anyone. At least not on the nights he was out with him.

Traffic to the hotel from the airport had been a nightmare. The vans ended up being separated. JC had been happy to be in the van that arrived first at the hotel. He wanted to get into his room out of prying eyes. The entire ride he could feel both Melinda's and Joey's eyes on him. He spent that time praying they wouldn't pepper him with questions. He'd been thankful Melinda didn't push after her initial one.

"Hey man..."

JC paused outside his hotel room door; the key card in his hand. He looked over at Joey who had the room next to his.

"Everything's good right?" Joey asked, staring at the man who was like a brother to him. They had been through a lot the past six years.

"I'm fine Joey."

"Cause you know you can talk to me right?" Joey continued. "If something's bothering you. If something's going on?"

"Yeah," JC gave him a small smile. Emotion swarmed through him at Joey's words. "Thanks man." Without giving Joey a chance to continue, he opened up his door and went inside. Thankful to be alone, he dropped his bags on the floor and fell face down on the bed. He needed to get himself together. Grabbing a pillow from beneath the comforter, he brought it to him. Circling his arms around it, he laid his head down and closed his eyes. Within minutes he was fast asleep.