Chapter 11
I can’t stop smiling. I know the bruises on my face and my back are because of it, but I can’t stop smiling. The asshole…oh shit….the asshole’s in trouble. He took me upstairs, roughed me up a little bit, told me some shit about my momma I didn’t really wanna hear, but I’m numb to it now. Numb because the prick is scared. They know where we are, or they’re getting mighty close to finding us. He’s got a fuckin’ army in his house. More people in camouflage and huge guns than I’ve ever seen. And right before I was going to dial and have to call someone for more ransom crap, the lights went off. Keem pressed a number on some phone, didn’t say a word and then hung up. I was pushed on the ground. Keem stepped on my back and the white suited pussy got down close to the floor beside me, put a gun to my cheek and said, “Say anything and you die.”
I did what he said in the darkness. It was night time, no sun through the blinds and it was silent. I could hear myself breathe. I could hear him breathe. He was not so calm.
Fifteen minutes I was on the floor. Fifteen minutes I had a boot in my spine. Fifteen minutes a gun pressed to my cheek. After I while I got a little frightened. The sweat from his hand started to seep down the gun and drip on my face. Keem’s balance, believe it or not, started to falter. I could feel his weight shift, much more and my spine would be crushed. The pussy’s fingers could slip and pull the trigger.
But I started to smile. I started to smile and I was kicked to where I was rolled over.
“Not a word,” was whispered in the darkness.
The boot was planted in my stomach and I heard uncle stand up and go sit on his bed. My eyes started to adjust in the darkness and he still had the gun pointed at me. His arm was shaking.
But my smile was still there. And it got bigger and bigger and bigger.
It was closer. Closer and closer I could hear it. Chopping, thudding, vibrating, whatever you want to call it. It was the best sound I’ve ever fucking heard.
I almost screamed. I almost yelled as loud as I could. I would have been shot in the head, of course, but Trace and Sarah might have made it. I was too chicken, though, to do it. But I didn’t stop smiling.
A few minutes later it was silent again, only my breathing and his breathing could be heard. A few more minutes passed and the lights flickered on. I didn’t move I just stared at uncle.
He looked terrified.
And as he reached in his pocket and unscrewed the cap on an orange medicine bottle and popped back three pills, I knew right then and there he had no control. He had no control. He stared at me as he swallowed the pills without water and finally nodded at Keem, “get ‘em out of my sight.”
I couldn’t stop smiling as Keem led me out of the room and we started to go down the steps into the main part of the house. “Keep smiling and I’ll take it off myself.”
I laughed.
He punched me in the face.
I couldn’t stop laughing and he threw me down the rest of the stairs, about half a flight. I looked up and saw him staring over me with a gun pointed at me. He kicked me ribs. I stopped smiling then. “Get up, and stop smiling.” He yanked me up and grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled me through the house like you would a dog with a collar when he was messing up your yard or tearing up the laundry. We got to the door for our room, our dungeon, our little basement. There were three security guys outside the door now. Two of them were playing a game of cards on the floor, the other was by the door with his rifle in hand, ready.
The guard pressed the code, blocking my view with his body and opened the door for Keem. Keem threw me down the steps.
And I couldn’t stop smiling. Even when I hit the floor and felt something pop in my shoulder. I just couldn’t stop. I still can’t.
“Justin!” I hear and Trace shuffles over and looks at me. I’m lying on my back, staring up at the lights of the basement. “Fuck man…you’re bleeding.”
“I am?” I smile.
“Sarah…” I heard Trace say in a hurried whisper. She doesn’t come in my view, though. “Will you go get the toilet paper and wet it and bring it here?” Trace looks over me concerned, especially at something on my face. He shakes his head at me and looks me in the eyes real hard. I’m still smiling. His head suddenly jerks up and he stares at something. “Sarah…” He calls out louder.
“Toilet paper?”
I try to turn my head and see her but I can’t. I stop smiling. Fuckin’ shit hurts now. She sounds scared though. That worries me. I hope I haven’t freaked her out. My little Sarah. She’s so sweet.
“The paper,” He continues. “The stuff you use when you go potty.”
“Oh…” I hear the bed move and squeak and then she asks, “Turn the sink on and get it wet?”
“Yes Sarah.” Trace says, sounding kind of annoyed. I don’t know why he’s getting annoyed with her. God, it’s not like he was really explicit with her. He knows she’s just a girl and doesn’t know anything.
Soon he’s back looking at me, and trying to pull me up to sit a bit. I try to put my weight on my one arm but it hurts like hell, so I lay back and try the other. I manage to get myself half sitting up with my weight on my good elbow. Trace manages to stand up, bend down and grab my good arm. He pulls me back against the wall. We’re both out of breath, but it feels much better to be sitting up against the cement.
My arms hang limply by my body and it starts getting hard to breathe again, like it did when I woke up from being on Quaaludes.
“What happened?” He asks, sitting beside me and still staring at that same spot on my forehead. I can feel something wet oozing over my temple. Must be blood he’s talking about.
I smile again.
“They’re gonna find us, Trace,” I say. God, I feel great.
“What?”
I try to sit up some more. I’m sliding down against the cement. He helps me, looking at me intently. “They went into code red mode. Made me be silent, turned out the lights to the house and like fifteen minutes later I heard a fuckin’ helicopter or something.”
He looks away from me, onto the floor, like he doesn’t want to believe me. “Serious?”
“Trace…” I try and grab his arm. “They’re coming!”
“Do you…”
“He hurt you.” I look over and she’s standing there with a dripping roll of toilet paper in her hand. Her face looks pathetic and she has tears against her cheeks.
“It’s ok Sarah,” I say as Trace gets the roll from her and presses it against my forehead. I don’t feel anything. It’s cold but besides that I can’t feel a thing. Then my head starts to throb as if instead of a brain I have a heart beating inside of my skull. I try and smile at her but it doesn’t seem to work. She keeps crying. “It’s ok. I’m fine.”
“Why is he being mean to you?”
I sigh. “He’s a mean person, Sarah.”
She bites her lip, crawls down beside us and curls up to me, hugging me like she does Abu, keeping me safe or hoping that I’ll keep her safe. “He’s scary.”
“We’ll be out of here soon.” I look up at Trace and he just shakes his head and tries to smile at Sarah when she looks at him. “I promise you. And then you can come live with me and I won’t ever make you do something you don’t want to. And I won’t make you take medicine. And I’ll teach you so many cool things.”
She looks up at me. Those huge brown eyes begging me: Take me out of here Justin. Save me. Give me a life. She sniffs and rubs her hand under her nose. “Really?”
“Yes, really.”
She lays there for a while against me, holding me with her head against my chest. It feels nice. Really nice. It’s a feeling I don’t want to lose. I start to relax but the pain in my body increases. I can’t stop looking down at her lying against me. I wonder what she’s thinking about. How does she think? She’s so beautiful and so special and so tormented, and I have to save her. Like, sometimes, and I know this is crazy, but, sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we did get out of here. If I took her out of this place and brought her home with me. I wonder how she’ll change, how she’ll grow. I wonder if I’ll find out who she really is, what she really is.
Trace has gotten up once to get a new thing of toilet paper and has kept it pressed against my head. I think it’s stopped bleeding. The throbbing is gone, but I have a migraine like you wouldn’t believe.
A grumbling noise comes from beside me and I look at Trace. He laughs and Sarah glances from his stomach to his face. “Do you want a snack?”
“Yeah…” He laughs and she looks up at me.
“Thanks Sarah.” She smiles like I just told her she won a coloring contest. I remember Steven won one of those contests for the church back home. It was done a few years ago and was a picture of Jesus riding into Jerusalem on Palm Sunday. Jesus was a nice shade of blue.
Lisa had the picture duplicated and framed. I got one.
It hangs in my office that Trace always uses. I rarely go in there.
I wonder how blue Jesus is doing, and how easy the ride is on that pink donkey.
As Sarah is up and scrambling over to her little refrigerator and sink, I take a breath and realize I wanna see blue Jesus again someday. “Now we need to figure out a way to get a cell phone.” Trace just stares at me. “Maybe if she can get ours from our clothes. You know we had them on.”
Trace’s face softens and I wonder what’s going on. Doesn’t he want to get out of here? Why the fuck is he shaking his head no? “Maybe we should hold off for a while. Take it easy for a day.”
“We don’t have time Trace!” I plead with him. It’s starting to click that we really do need to get out of here. Yeah, so the police and army and FBI or whoever might be close to finding us. But…if they are that means that our chance of survival is really starting to decline. The closer they get, the more uncle is gonna wanna get rid of us. “If…if the police are getting close then uncle’s gonna get more and more desperate.” I gulp. “And then he’ll kill us.” Sarah looks over her shoulder as she reaches above the fridge for some food. She smiles. “And her,” I whisper.
“I don’t know if that’ll work. I mean, you think he just lets her roam around up there by herself.”
“Maybe she can take his.”
Trace shakes his head again. “I’d think he’d notice that.
“Well, let’s ask her.”
“Don’t scare her,” He says, looking over at her. She’s over there scratching her ass. God that’s just sick. I mean, I don’t care that she’s doing that. That’s not the sick part about it. She just doesn’t know anything. She’s so… She’s gotta get out of here. It’ll be ok if Trace and I don’t. At least we’ve had a life.
She hasn’t.
“She might be terrified to do anything more.” Trace continues and looks at me. “Remember what happened last time. He fuckin’ beat the girl up!”
I shake my head. That’s just a risk I need to take, especially if it’ll save her. “Sarah, can I ask you something?”
“Mmhmm.” She comes over with her arms full of juice boxes, pretzels, cheese balls and Pringles. Shit, she actually has Pringles. What a great feast!
Ya know, I wonder when he brought those down. Must’ve been a few days ago. The last time when Keem brought us our bologna he also had a bag of something with him. I was so hungry I didn’t watch what he did with it.
She hands us our juice. I have a hard time grabbing it since my one arm is practically dead. Plus, I’m not really concerned with food right now. My appetite vanishes and I’m not quite sure why. “When you go up there at night with uncle…” She stares at me and hugs the can of Pringles, terrified. God girl, I’m sorry I have to ask you this, but I’m doing this for you.
Can’t you see this is all for you?
“Are you with him the whole time up there?”
She gulps and puts the can down. “Yes.”
“So…you’re with him the whole time?”
“No…” She pauses and I glance at Trace who’s drinking his juice through the small straw. He shoots me a look as she continues. “I can go to the kitchen and get a snack if I want. He goes to sleep a lot or doesn’t want to play with me anymore after he shows me he loves me, so I can stay in his room and watch a movie.”
“By yourself?”
“Mmmhmm.” She nibbles on a pretzel.
“Can you come back down here?” Trace asks as he works on the Pringles seal.
“I don’t know. You wanna watch a movie?” She pushes herself up off the floor and takes her juice box with her. I notice she still has bruises on her legs, her perfectly white legs. The one on her thigh is purple still and the one of her calf is turning grey. I wonder what my bruises look like.
“Sure, whatever you want Sarah.”
I wonder how long it’s been. I wonder…I wonder if that was really even a helicopter looking for me. It’s Africa, people probably go on tours and hunt for game and everything. I mean it was dark outside but…I don’t know. It’s just. Something’s not right, ya know? Oh yes, she’s putting in Robin Hood. That’s my favorite. We don’t watch that one a lot but I just love Maid Marian. She’s hot, for a fox. Sometimes I wonder why they made animals talk. Like who was the first person to say, we should draw an animal and make it talk?
Cause animals really don’t talk.
I mean I’m sure they talk to each other and we just don’t hear it.
I wonder if that mouse I saw the other day in the corner talks to his other little mice friends. I wonder if he goes “look there’s that Justin Timberlake guy chained together in a dungeon.”
Nah, he probably only cares about finding food.
I wish I was a mouse and could crawl in a little hole and dig my way out. Cause lets be honest here Justin, you’re not gonna get out. It’s fuckin’ hilarious if you think about it, how happy I was when I heard the helicopter. Like that’s gonna do anything. If the FBI do find us and bust down the door you know he’ll come down here and shoot us. You know he will, man. Probably shoot Trace first so you get all sprayed with is blood and brains.
I wonder if it’s really grey, like everyone says it is. Ya know, grey matter and all.
Like Sarah’s bruise. Grey and big, in the shape of a Lake Okeechobee. I haven’t been there in years. Mom and I went when I was little. I should go again. If I get out of here. I should spend more time in Orlando. Los Angeles is kind of getting old. Oh yeah. I laugh to myself. I won’t get the chance.
But wouldn’t it be cool if heaven is just like the US, just like the world but no bad guys, no uncles, no basements? And I could go to Lake Okeechobee and swim and do whatever it is that you do at lakes and no one would bother me. And Sarah would be there. And Trace. And we could just swim and eat Pringles.
And get a tan.
But that won’t happen. Soon I’ll be as white as she is. I just hope instead of Buzz Lightyear sheets he’ll let me have Robin Hood sheets. Cause I really like Robin Hood.
A lot.
“So we get her to go up there. He falls asleep. She swipes the phone and comes down here and we call someone we know and give them the address we got from her.”
“If she gets caught she’s killed.” I stare at her as she sits on her bed and waits for the movie. “We can’t risk that.”
“Oh yes we can Justin! Cause if she gets caught and gets killed, we will too! It’s not… Look, it’s our only chance. Come on now, what’s…what’s getting into you. You were smiling a minute ago. And now…”
I don’t hear him. I just hear that song and I sing with it. “Robin Hood and Little John walkin' through the forest laughin' back and forth at what the other'ne has to say…” I stop singing and smile at Trace “Just like us, huh? Robin Hood and Little John. Remember when we were little. This was our favorite movie.” My eyes focus on Sarah and suddenly I feel like I’m going to be sick. I don’t really know why, but I think I might throw up. My eye focuses on Lake Okeechobee that’s flying through the air as she swings her legs up. “I don’t want her going up there anymore,” I say.
“You think she has a choice.”
I feel something wet on my cheeks. I don’t know what it is and I look at Trace to see if maybe he’ll stop my cut from bleeding again. He stares at me. He’s scared. Why am I scaring you Trace? What’s wrong? “Never ever thinkin' there was danger in the water. They were drinkin', they just guzzled it down…” I laugh and sing louder. Sarah’s singing, too. She smiles at me. I love her. I think I really do. “Never dreamin' that a schemin' sherrif and his posse was a-watchin' them an' gatherin' around…”
“Stop it.” He hits me in my bad shoulder and I stop singing. “Stop crying! This…this is our chance. I’m going to ask her to do it for us, whether you like it or not.”
I don’t stop him from getting up. Wow, I didn’t know I was crying. Hmm. I watch him get up and go over and sit on her bed. She looks at him very confused at first, but then smiles. I don’t hear them talking. I can’t.
I’m too busy singing.
“Robin Hood and Little John runnin' through the forest, jumpin' fences, dodgin' trees an' tryin' to get away. Contemplatin' nothin' but escape, an' fin'lly makin' it. Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, what a day! Oo-de-lally, Oo-de-lally Golly, what a day!” I laugh. I wish I was Robin Hood. Then I could get away.
I’d be the fox! Trace could be Little John, just like when we were little. And Sarah…Sarah would be Maid Marian. It’d be great. It’d be perfect. I think about it. How we’d have so much fun being animals. British animals at that. Haha! Yeah, that’d be awesome. I start to smile.
I laugh.
And I can’t stop.
