I let out a soft ‘mmm’ in an attempt to respond, while he climbs out of bed. I hear the shower run and try to gather myself. After a minute or so, i finally even out my breathing and can function properly. I slide out of bed and tiptoe to the bathroom to find JC in the shower - his body glistening from all the water. I watch as he rinses the shampoo out of his hair, his arms flexing which shows off his muscles. His arms were always my weakness. As he finishes wringing out his hair, I step in and wrap my arms around him from behind, running my fingers all over his chest & abdomen. I plant kisses on his back and continue to do so as he turns around to face me. I wrap my arms around his neck as he looks me in the eyes. 

JC: (caressing the right side of my face) i’m so glad i met you

Gianne: me too… you have no idea how happy you’ve made me these last few weeks

JC softly kisses me. We take a step towards the wall of the shower, and JC has me pinned against it. He has one hand on the side of my face as he passionately kisses me, while the other hand is on the back of my waist, pulling me into him - feeling his erection. Man, this boy can go the whole day. The session we had in the shower was like a scene out of a movie -fifty shades of grey meets the lucky one. JC lifted me up and had me against the wall still, thrusting in me. It was hot and everything i ever dreamed of. All i could do was moan in pleasure. JC was amazing. How did i get so lucky?

After we both came, we eventually rinsed off in the shower - him lathering me and vice versa. I was amazed we didn’t end up having sex again. After drying off, he lent me a tee that i could sleep in and we went to bed. I didn’t think JC was a cuddler, but after the night we had, he had me rest my head in his arm/chest and played with my hair to help me fall asleep - not that i needed any help. I’d need more help in the morning to make sure i woke up in time for my flight.

FRIDAY - August 9, 2019

Before I knew it, the sun started peeking in through the windows. I adjusted my head to get the sun out of my eyes. JC was fast asleep, with just his bottom half covered up. I look at my watch and see that it’s 6am. My flight was at 9. I needed to get up but i definitely did not want to. I quietly get up from the bed and head downstairs to grab my overnight bag. I bring it back upstairs and start getting ready in the bathroom. I try my best to stay quiet to avoid waking JC any earlier than i had to. I toss my hair up in a messy ponytail, put on my ripped jeans, and my off shoulder sweatshirt. I looked like a bum, but i wanted to be comfortable on the plane. I brush my teeth, put on eyeliner, and pack up my overnight bag again. As i exit the bathroom and turn the corner, i see JC still sleeping. I set my bag down by the door and walk over to his side of the bed. I softly kneel on his side of the bed and rub my hand on his stomach/side. JC begins to wake up and adjusts to the sun in his eyes. 

Gianne: sorry to wake you. just wanted to let you know i was leaving

JC: what time is it? 

Gianne: it’s almost 7

JC: here, let me walk you out

Gianne: no no, its ok. stay in bed

I lean down and kiss him goodbye. 

Gianne: see you later

JC: be careful. 

Gianne: (getting up from the bed) i will. i’ll let you know when we get to Indianapolis

I walk to the door and pick up my bag and say bye as i walk out the master bedroom. When i get downstairs, i put on my shoes, and lock the front door behind me as I walk out. I made my way to Burbank airport  and definitely hit traffic along the way, but still managed to make it in 40 minutes. I parked, printed my ticket, checked in my luggage, and finally went through security. By the time i got to my gate, I had an hour til we departed. I had grabbed a coffee and breakfast sandwich after security, and that kept me busy until we boarded. I pulled out my phone as I waited for my group to be called. I had numerous social media notifications and a text from Lance. 

just saw you’re flying out of burbank too. are you here? 

omg, sorry. just got your text.

yea, i’m waiting for my group to be called. 

are you already on the plane? 

haha. i was about to say, is she gonna make it? yea, had priority. just got on. 

i’m surprised you didn’t have priority, if your seat is next to me. 

I send him a shrugging emoji and let him know i’ll be there in a minute, since my group was starting to board. I look at my ticket and do see that i’m in business class - but maybe lance had special boarding of the sorts. As i board the plane, the flight attendant directs me towards the front of the plane - since we had boarded towards the middle of the plane. This was nothing like Southwest, where everyone boards from the front. I make my way to row 5, seat b and finally see Lance. He had died his hair again to a light hue of pink. 

Gianne: when did you dye your hair? 

Lance: (getting up to hug me) hiiiiii … you like? 

Gianne: i do! 

Lance: uh… dyed it on wednesday. 

We sit down and situate ourselves as the rest of the passengers board. 

Lance’s phone goes off - a text message. It was from JC. 

thanks for the birthday wishes! 

and have a good show tonight 

Lance: well well… JC finally got back to my birthday greeting. i sent that yesterday evening

I sensed Lance’s tone, trying to imply something - trying to get deets out of me.

Gianne: well, you guys always say he takes forever to respond. didn’t you say he was doing better

Lance: yea… but that doesn’t seem to be the case when he’s with you 

Gianne: (laughing) what are you talking about? you’re crazy. 

Lance: well, you two were together last night for his birthday, weren’t you? 

Gianne: hey, i can’t control when and who my boyfriend decides to text back 

Lance: wait! hold on! did you just say boyfriend? 

Gianne: (feeling my cheeks heat up & smiling) yea, he introduced me last night as his girlfriend

Lance: (giddy) oh my gosh! wait, introduced you to who? 

Gianne: matt & his wife, renee

Lance: oh wow! well, im happy for you guys! and i’d like to say i played a part in that

Gianne: oh, yes! definitely making my dreams come true - first with this dream job. and then playing matchmaker 

We continue chit chatting and turn off our phones since the plane was ready to take off. The pilot came on the overhead and announced that it would be roughly 4 hours til we reach Indianapolis. We would land about 4’ish, which would be cutting it close. VIPs were set to start at 530 - so Lance would have no time to settle in or anything. 

Once we landed, we got our baggage and headed to the transportation curb. Melinda had ordered our Uber Black ahead of time and was almost at the arrival terminal. While waiting, i pull out my phone to let JC know we landed. 

hey, just landed. have a good day. xoxo

Our car arrived and the driver assisted us with our luggage. We get in the back seat and make our way to the indiana state fairgrounds. I was really excited for this show since it was at a fair. The drive roughly took 30 minutes from the airport. The driver took us to the back entrance where vendors usually entered through. We thank the driver and made our way to the stage area. Melinda met us halfway and flagged us down when she saw us walking up. We hug hello and follow her to Lance’s trailer. We put our luggage aside and try to relax a little bit before the meet and greets started. It was roughly 5 o’clock, so i decided to change into something a bit more presentable - some jeggings and a ‘be kind’ tee. After changing, I let Lance get ready while I take some photos of the fair and the surroundings. I see a flier posted on one of the fair booths and take a photo, which i can edit later with the fairgrounds in the background. I find a few more shots and then head back to the trailer to help with the VIPs.

Melinda: ok, so we have 5 meet & greets & 2 happy hours. 

Gianne: nice! 

Lance: does that mean we can sneak in fair time in between acts?

My eyes light up because that would be awesome!

Melinda: yes, but make sure to watch the time in between acts. Gianne! I’m relying on you to watch time too!

Gianne: (saluting) got it! 

I grab the copy of the time schedule for each act and take a copy of it on my phone. 

Lance was finally ready, wearing his rose print tee and black jeans, and was looking through all the goodies included in his rider - pb&j, candy - which i bet was for Michael - and a variety of fruit and drinks in the fridge. However, it looked like the happy hour guests were going to have a choice between champagne and tito’s. I go out with Melinda to rally up the VIP’s and give them the rundown of what to expect and how things will go. I help issue wristbands according to the designated package they purchased. As I was placing a wristband on one fan, she looked at me trying to place me. 

Rachel: hi….. (hesistant) aren’t you *NSYNCFAN* on instagram? 

Gianne: i am 

Rachel: i’ve been following your account for a while now. i think your account is awesome & its crazy that now you’re one of lance’s roadies

Some girls start mumbling around us after they overhear rachel. 

Gianne: aww, thank you. yea, its definitely been crazy. i’d say im a prime example of following your dreams. 

Rachel: definitely! is it okay to get a picture with you? 

Gianne: (surprised) sure

Rachel extends her arm for a selfie and positions us in the frame.

Rachel: thank you so much

Gianne: (laughing) sure 

I continue with the wristbands and have everyone line up. I head in the dressing room and check if Lance is ready. Some of the OTOWN guys were in there looking through Lance’s rider and looked at me as I entered the dressing room. 

Trevor: Heeeeey! 

Gianne: hi guys! 

I give Trevor and Dan hugs hello. 

Gianne: have you guys walked around the fair yet? 

Dan: yea, a little earlier. the food they have now is crazy. 

Trevor: yea, deep fried butter 

I make a face of disgust. 

Gianne: ugh, no thank you.

I turn to lance.

Gianne: VIP’s are ready for you

Lance: okidoki

Trevor & Dan walk out and get the line all riled up. You can hear the screaming through the doors. I open the door for Lance and the screams get louder as Lance walks out. Each fan got a picture and something signed, which was then followed by a group q&a. Same typical questions were asked regarding nsync reunions, any special appearances they should look out for, and some even asked some daring questions about JC. 

fan: is it true JC and Jen broke up? is he single or dating?

Lance’s eye bugged out in surprise and Melinda gave her a look and picked out another question. When the q&a finished, we took the 2 girls who purchased the happy hour back into the dressing room. I remember when i was in their shoes, feeling all giddy that we were going backstage with Lance Bass. Lance converses with the two girls, answering a few more of their questions. I ask them which of the two drinks they’d prefer - champagne or tito’s. They both decided to do shots of tito’s, which Lance joined in on. I hand them their shots and get my camera ready for their boomerang. They take their shot and continue mingling for another 15 minutes. I post the boomerang on Lance’s IG, as well as the group photos with the other VIP’s. While they continue socializing, Melinda & I check our phones. I had a text from JC. 

have fun. miss you. xoxo

I respond with a kissy face emoji. I follow up with some IG messages and look through some posts. A lot of the posts were of JC, since his birthday was yesterday. I saw a really awesome post from the jc crew and saved it to show JC when i got back. I message some of the accounts to see if any pap pics had circulated from JC’s birthday. If there was any, they would know. But then again, if they did, they would’ve messaged me like crazy because I would’ve been in the pic. 

hey all - any jc sightings from his birthday?

not that i’ve seen. but Jen did post a birthday greeting / #TBT of them 

yea, i wonder if they’ll get back together

One gal sent a screenshot of the story she posted. It was a picture of her holding a birthday cake and him blowing out the candle. She simply had a ‘happy birthday @jcchasezofficial’ caption along with one heart. My emotions started to get the best of me, but i had to make sure it didnt affect my work. I was on the clock after all. But of course, thoughts are running through my head - did JC see the post? did he respond or text jen? does he still have feelings for her? I snap out of it and put my phone away. Melinda walks the girls out, but i inform them that the boomerang will be posted on Lance’s IG for them to pull. It was just a little past 7 and the show was set to start at 730p. We hang out in the dressing room - snacking and playing homescapes until Lance has to start the show. 

Tyler was the first to open the show and his set was scheduled for 25 minutes. Lance went on stage welcoming everybody and introducing Tyler. I made sure to get some good shots in front of the stage. As soon as i got back behind the stage, Lance couldn’t wait to go grab some fair food. 

Lance: (grabbing my head) c’mon, we have 20 minutes. 

Melinda: (yelling as Lance & I scurry away) 20 minutes! DONT BE LATE!

I laugh as I look at my watch.

Lance: i get a cheat day a month. im using it now. 

Gianne: so what exactly are you looking for? or in the mood for? 

Lance: i’ll know it when i see it.

We stroll through the crowds of people and head directly to the food booths. Fried pickles, fried ice cream - name it, they had it. I saw a sign for tri-tip sandwiches, like they had at warped tour, and i immediately had to buy it.

Gianne: well, i found what i want. 

Lance: (intrigued) what? 

Gianne: its these amazing tri-tip sandwiches that ive had at warped tour. no other place ever tastes the same. and these seem to look like the same vendor. 

Lance: ok, grab me one too. im going to the funnel cakes - they have a bunch of fried stuff there

Gianne: (laughing) ok

With the line and waiting for our food, it roughly took about 10 minutes. I head towards Lance who was also just getting his order. We power walk back to the stage and make it just when Tyler is saying his thank you’s & goodbye. I take the food Lance bought and take it into the dressing room while he introduces Ryan on stage. Lance & Melinda come back while Ryan does his 30 minute set. Before chowing down on all the food, i take a selfie of the three of us & the food. Melinda took a piece of funnel cake but that was pretty much it. Lance double fisted, holding a corn dog in one hand and funnel cake in the other. I took a boomerang for him to post on his IG later. After finishing our food, i send the pics to Melinda & Lance. Melinda loved our selfie so much, she posted it to her IG. We headed to the stage since Ryan was just about done and Lance was about to announce OTOWN. I hang backstage with Melinda and the OTOWN guys until Lance finished his shpeel. The guys and I were joking around, and Melinda felt the urge to take a candid photo of all of us laughing. Then she got our attention and took one of all us looking at the camera. The guys ran out after Lance announced them and we headed back in the dressing room until Lance was needed for Bye Bye Bye. 

Melinda posts the candid on her IG and informs me that she’s going to tag me. We actually all get on our socials and post something for the night. While doing so, i received a notification for Melinda’s post and clicked on it. It was a nice photo - all of us laughing - and Melinda’s caption read:

never feels like work when you’re having fun

Lance also sees the post.

Lance: hey! where was I during this photo? 

Melinda: on stage

Melinda’s phone was going off with notifications too. She scrolled through and said a lot of the fans were responding and liking her post. Some reposted the photo in stories and tagged me & melinda. 

so proud of our girl *NSYNCFAN* living the dream! 

never give up. *NSYNCFAN* didn’t. look at her now. 

I thought to myself, how did i get so lucky with these group of nsync fan friends. I knew they were supportive of me getting my dream job, but would they be supportive when they find out i am dating one of the guys? I’ll deal with it when that time comes. I repost the stories in mine and include “love my girls” in each one. We hear that OTOWN is finishing up its gonna be me and head out for Lance to get ready for BBB. I move down to the front of the stage and get ready to film. The screams were deafening when Lance came out and everyone danced along to the routine too. I head back when they finish and we tidy up in the dressing room, packing up our things. Melinda requests our UBER BLACK since we were heading straight to the airport and flying to Flint. I couldn’t wait to get to the hotel and go to sleep. 

When we get to the airport and finish with all the baggage & security checks, we waited in the AA lounge til our flight boarded and departed. While waiting, i hear my phone go off numerous times. It was various accounts on IG. 

ALERT! ALERT! JC Spotting!

Included in the chat was a picture of JC and Jen walking. They weren’t holding hands or anything - which was good, but what was I to think of this? Was JC going to let me know when I got back? The picture must’ve been circulating fast because I then got a text from Michael.

I’m sure you’ve seen the picture already. 
Don’t freak out! Paps are snakes! 

How does Michael know what i’m thinking? But i’m thankful he’s trying to help me keep my cool. Lance’s phone goes off and he immediately looks at me. I couldn’t help but smirk. Michael was probably texting him too.

Gianne: Is michael texting you? 

Lance: he text’d you too? 

Gianne: yep

I place my phone face down, and lean my head all the way back on the chair.

Lance: has JC text’d you? 

Gianne: no. 

Lance: ok. so first off, the picture doesnt look bad, or like anything is going on.

I just continue looking at him.

Lance: second… JC wouldn’t do that to you 

Gianne: but its jen, they’ve been together for years. they have a history. 

Lance: but the way I see JC when he’s with you, it’s different. 

Gianne: (sighing) you’re just saying that. 

Lance: i wouldn’t do that to you. i’m sure he has a perfectly good explanation

My phone then started ringing. I look and see that it’s JC. Lance goes back to his phone to give me some privacy. Not ready to have this conversation, i slowly answer the phone.

Gianne: (nervous) hello? 

JC: hi… i can already tell by that tone that you’ve seen pictures. 

Gianne: yea, its hard to miss when its all over social media

JC: she just wanted to meet up for coffee, for my birthday sort of thing & catch up. nothing happened. it was just a friend having coffee with a friend.

Gianne: ok 

JC: (caught off guard) ok? we’re ok? 

Gianne: we’re ok

JC: i’m sorry i didnt tell you sooner. i should’ve ran it by you first

Gianne: JC, you dont need my permission to go out with your friends. i don’t want to be THAT girlfriend. As long as you’re honest with me, we’re good. I just ask that you dont break that trust

JC: and I wont. i wouldn’t do that to you.

I feel a little relief come over me, but still feel like I need to talk to him face to face. Announcement of our flight comes on overhead and boarding begins.

Gianne: baby, i gotta go. our flight is boarding. 

JC: ok. let me know when you get to michigan 

Gianne: i will

JC: bye

Gianne: bye

I hang up the phone and grab my stuff to get ready to board the plane. I can feel Lance waiting for me to tell him what happened. I figured I’d wait til we boarded the plane. We were in business class again and got settled in. I fill Lance in on our conversation and did his best to reassure me there was nothing to worry about. He even said ‘i told you so.’ The flight took about 3 hours and we landed in Michigan around 2am. We UBER’d to the hotel, checked in, and got some much needed rest. We all had our own rooms but we were all on the same floor, right next to each other. We all say good night and agree to meet tomorrow morning for brunch. After washing my face and getting ready for bed, i text JC.

hi. we just got to the hotel. 

super exhausted, gonna head to bed. good night. xo

ok. good night. 
i’ll talk to you tomorrow. xo

My mind was running a hundred thoughts a minute. It was like i was back in high school with the drama. the thoughts. the doubts. I did not sign up for this, but shit, every relationship goes through this. I turn off the light and go to bed. 

SATURDAY - August 10, 2019

I woke up naturally about 930a. Sleep wasn’t straight, but it was enough to get through the day. I get up to shower and get ready, since we were meeting for brunch at 11am. As i was finishing my make up, i get a knock on the door. I figured it must’ve been Melinda or Lance, but am surprised to open the door to a staff member delivering flowers.

worker: ms. gianne?  

Gianne: yes

worker: delivery for you. if you could sign here please. 

I sign the delivery slip and grab the flower vase.

Gianne: thank you

The worker smiles & nods and I shut the door. I take a whiff of the lilies and set them down on the table. I notice a card on the opposite side and open it. Of course it was from JC.

i’m sorry if i put any doubts in your head

i hope you know how much i truly care about you

can’t wait to see you tomorrow.

xoxo - j

I melted a little. I know he would never intentionally hurt me, but I still needed to talk to him. I send him a thank you text.

thank you for the flowers. lilies are my favorite. 

can’t wait to see you too. 

I hope he wouldn’t see through the text and sense i was still uneasy. I couldn’t deal with anymore of this today. I needed to stay happy and lively for the rest of the day. I put my phone away and finish getting ready. 

We go about the day with brunch and then head to the venue. We do the usual routine - VIPs, hosting, and BBB - and I post whatever shots I get throughout the day. After the show, we had back to the hotel to pack up since our flight was early the next morning.

In the car: 

Gianne: its gonna be weird not seeing you both for a month

Lance: you’ll probably see me in there somewhere

Gianne: perhaps

Melinda: yep, won’t see me until the canada show

I make a sad face, and realize the car pulled up to our hotel already. We turn in early and prepare for our early morning ahead.

SUNDAY - August 11, 2019

I wake up feeling nervous, knowing i’m gonna confront JC in a few hours. I get dressed - wearing cut off shorts and a loose button up long sleeve. I knew it’d be hot when we arrived in burbank. I meet Melinda & Lance in the lobby & make our way to the airport. My flight with Lance was at 8am and we’d be arriving at Burbank about 830am, with the time difference and all. Melinda’s flight was just a few minutes difference, but she’d get home way before us since she was only a state or two away. When we land in Burbank, Lance was very comforting telling me to just be honest with JC. Lance had a car pick him up and i continued to the parking lot since I had parked my truck there. Before I left the lot, i text’d JC.

just landed in Burbank. 

can i stop by? 

yes of course. you dont need to ask. 

ok, be there in 30

ok. see you in a bit. 

I start my drive to JC’s and when I park in front of his place, i couldn't help but take a deep breath. I buzz at the gate, and am let in a few seconds later. JC greets me at the door with a smile. Just by looking at me, he knew I wanted to talk. I wrap my arms around his waist to give him a hug and lean my forehead against his chest. He kisses the top of my head and wraps his arms around me. 

JC: baby, you said we were okay. 

Gianne: we are. i just feel like we need to talk 

JC: (rubbing my back) ok, lets talk.

I lift my head up to look at him and he gives me a kiss on the lips. Boy did it feel good to kiss him again. We walk inside and JC closes the door behind us. We sit on the couch facing each other. I dont know where to start. I take a deep breath and JC is just patiently waiting for me to say something.

Gianne: ok. it wasn’t easy for me to see that pic of you with Jen. and i believe you when you say nothing happened. but i guess, since we never really talked about why it ended or who broke up with who - thats probably why i felt the way i did. 

JC: ok, what do you want to know? 

Gianne: you guys were together for years. those feelings just dont go away at the snap of a finger. (i look down and then back up at him) do you still have any feelings for her?

JC looked at me with that expression of ‘how could you possibly ask me that with what we’ve been through’ kind of look. I hated asking the question but I know I wouldn’t get over this whole thing without asking.

JC: other than friends, no! do i care for her? yes. but again, as friends. 

Gianne: who broke up with who? or why did you break up? I know you said things changed between you two after coachella, but changed how?

JC runs his hand through his hair, gathering the information in his head.

JC: after coachella, there was a lot of buzz with offers and a reunion. and there was a side of her that showed how much of the attention she loved. with all the buzz, she got introduced to more “celebrities” and she started going out more.. (pausing)...  & ended up cheating on me. i tried to forgive her and work it out, but like you - if that trust is broken, its pretty much the end of that relationship.

I take a deep breath and feel horrible for making him relive the memory. But now i have insight and an explanation.

Gianne: i’m sorry that im making you talk about this. i know it probably isn’t easy reliving that

JC: dont be sorry. its fine. if it helps our relationship, i’ll talk about it however long you want

Gianne: (letting out a smile) that specific topic is done

JC: (knowing there was something else) and the next topic is? 

Gianne: while you guys were out for coffee… did you tell her about me ? 

JC: i did. not that its any of her business, but she asked how I was and if i was seeing anyone. and i wasn’t going to lie to her, or just dismiss you or your feelings for that matter, so I told her.

I felt relieved, but then again, now thats two people outside of the NSYNC circle that knew about our relationship - and i worry about it getting out to fans and having to deal with that. But that worry was for another day.

Gianne: do you think she still has feelings for you? i saw her IG story for your birthday

JC: i dont know if she does. but even if she did, it wouldn’t change how i feel about you now. she was my past. you’re my present.

I suddenly feel my cheeks turn red and flushed. He definitely had a way with words.

Gianne: just so i know, should i expect more run-in’s with her - whether it be you, in a crowd, etc - i mean, she is probably friends with your friends now right? 

JC: friends? … id say maybe more so an acquaintance. but if anything, it would probably be more likely to run into her on a night out depending where we went. not so much with the crowd i’m with.

I just nod as i try to understand the odds.

Gianne: ok

JC: (grabbing my hand) anything else?

Gianne: i think thats it. thank you…. for talking, giving me more insight

JC: of course. i dont ever want you doubting your trust in me. doubting us.

I look at him and lean in to kiss him. It was such a relief to get this conversation out of the way.

Gianne: i’m sorry i stopped by so early. did you even eat breakfast yet? 

JC: no, i usually get by with just coffee in the morning. want some? or something to eat? 

Gianne: coffee does sound good

JC: coming right up

JC gets up to fix up a cup of coffee for me in the kitchen. I follow him and sit at the island. He mixes cream and sugar for me and hands me the cup.

Gianne: thank you

I take a sip and take in the warmth. JC stands behind me and leans his hands on the island in front of me, kissing my shoulder.

Gianne: so what do you have going on today? 

JC: nothing at all. i was actually hoping you’d stay a little while since i may not see you all week.

I stay quiet and take another sip of coffee. I can sense JC waiting for my response. Of course I was gonna stay but thought I'd make him wonder a little. I set my cup down. He spins me in my seat to face him.

JC: is that a yes?

Gianne: (shrugging) I suppose