October 1st, 2006 - Los Angeles, CA

Justin's house was always a gathering spot whenever the guys were not working, especially for Justin and JC to hang out. Fans always found it comforting to know that even when they didn't NEED to be together, the five members of *NSYNC still tended to gravitate to each other in their free time. Something about knowing the friendship they saw on screen truly played out in real life even after the 10th anniversary of the band had played out. 

A few weeks had passed since their 72 hour trip to Hawaii to celebrate Justin and Ashley. JC had enjoyed the time relaxing, catching up on reading and movie watching with Samantha as much as possible. Being "off" the clock was a feeling of freedom that he enjoyed, though he knew the music in him would never truly die. He was already getting the itch to produce some new songs and took opportunities to sneak into the studio to record some rough demos of songs. 

Even though he would never outwardly admit it, it was still under JC's skin that Samantha's ex boyfriend was in the NFL. It only made things worse that it was now heavily into football season and he would see his face on the TV screen every Sunday and in magazines. He made being a tight end look effortless and his physique was in top form. 

He knew now that he was 30 and a full-fledged tour with choreography was not in his daily routine; so to keep things up he knew he'd need something extra, if only for his own perfectionism. 

He had made it a habit to visit Justin's house almost every morning to work out in the new gym he had built in his basement, one that would rival the most exclusive gym in Hollywood. The boys had reignited their friendly competition that they had begun on tour so many years ago, but this time in preparation for their upcoming weddings.

By happenstance while they were in Japan, Joey had stumbled upon a store down the street from their hotel. It had all kinds of gifts and medicines, some Eastern and some Western. Being the jokester he was, he brought a bottle of something called Man-E-Tee back to the hotel, which Chris thought was hilarious given they had lived in Florida, home of the large sea cows for much of their adult lives. Upon closer inspection of the bottle, Justin and Joey had discovered that the supplements were supposed to provide an extra boost of naturally occurring testosterone to the system for better workouts and, to Joey's delight, performance in the bedroom. As one could imagine, that was all Justin and Joey needed to be convinced and they went back to the store and purchased additional bottles. Initially, JC was hesitant about what he was putting in his body but was convinced by both of his friends that this was a completely natural supplement and was worth a try. 

So it began just after their trip to Hawaii, both friends began their pre-workout with smoothies and their new supplements. They had agreed to keep this a secret from their girls and compare notes about what they were noticing and stop immediately if anything didn't feel right at JC's insistence. 

On this cool October morning Justin and JC were walking out the back door of his house to enter the side door to the basement gym. The girls were upstairs in a guest room that Justin had converted to Ashley's Los Angeles work space. They were working on Samantha's initial dress consultation. This made JC even more of a bundle of nerves than usual. He wanted everything to go smoothly and be perfect for his girl. 

"Mmm, here we go." Justin grinned, rubbing his hands together as he turned the lights on in the gym even though the late morning natural light filled the room already. "Let's do this Chasez." He peeled off his white v-neck and tossed it near the door. 

JC was shaking his head with a grin. "You even upgraded your damn gym which was FINE in the first place... can you not be so extra all the time?" He walked to one of the leg machines and started adding weight. 

"Listen shithead," Justin laughed, "You have no problem with me being extra because you constantly get to use my shit." He smirked and walked to the chest press.

JC began his reps, pushing his legs hard. "True. I'll just come over to use yours all the time now." He finished his normal set but began to push himself to begin another, feeling the extra adrenaline in his system. 

"Fine with me, unless my woman and I are making use of the space." He smirked, adding some additional weight onto his chest press.

"Ew, then I never want to touch that shit." He stood up and wiped his face with the bottom of his tank top then pulled it off, walking to spot Justin on the chest press.

***

Meanwhile, Samantha sipped on a cup of green tea on a soft off white armchair  in Ashley's office, grinning softly. "I kinda can't believe that we're standing here and you're going to design my wedding dress. And you're engaged too." Her voice was soft but excited. 

"Uh, I kinda CAN believe I'm making your dress! Hello, you are drop dead gorgeous and any man in this world would be lucky to marry you. I'm just glad it's to my friend JC." Ashley grinned, looking up from her sketches. She had a notebook full of designs that she was going to share with Samantha. She had been hard at work for weeks, sketching design ideas, researching global trends, reflecting on Samantha's style. This was going to be the most important dress that she had made in her career-- her best friend's dress. 

"Well I knew there was nobody else I'd trust to dress me for this day." She grinned, "When other designers don't want to dress me, you make it on point every damn time."

"First of all, when other designers don't want to dress you, you can tell them to fuck off. Now put down that tea," Ashley grinned, grabbing Samantha's arm and pulling her to a hot pink X on the floor, then pointed to the pedestal.  "Step up here. I just need you in your bra and panties. I promise I won't tell JC." She giggled. "Or maybe I will. He'd like that shit."

Sam laughed, leaving her tea behind on Ashley's desk. "More like he'd be up here in an instant. It's like a radar." She slipped off her long sleeved grey t-shirt and unzipped her jeans, shimmying them off. She tossed them both on the armchair then stepped up onto the pedestal. 

"Perfect," Ashley smiled. "Now, I just need you to take a deep breath for me and just relax. I need your shoulders to be good."

She squared off her shoulders and took in a nice deep breath. "Oh, I get the last laugh when I slay in someone else's shit and magazines want to know where it came from." 

"Which you always slay mama," Ashley smiled, taking her measuring tape and moving all around Sam. Sam bit her lip as she watched Ashley moving all around her. This was her least favorite part of fittings, but Ashley always had a way of making her feel at ease every time. 

"Thanks," Sam replied with a soft smile. She looked at her reflection in the mirror and smiled as she watched Ashley move around her, pause, jot down some notes, then move the tape. 

"Uh," Ashley smirked, "Samantha... you're measuring about 2 dress sizes smaller than from when I made your costume in October." 

"Oops?" Sam laughed softly, staying perfectly still as Ashley had ordered her to. Her eyes glanced down to Ashley at her side. 

"Girl," she took a final measurement of her belly button to her hip, "Are you planning on losing anymore before May? If so, I'm going to need to know how much or turn your dress into a hidden corset style in the back."

"I mean," Sam's cheeks tinged pink as she relaxed a bit. "I don't think so. I mean I'm happy with the way I am. This wasn't overly intentional. I guess I've just been working out a lot more alone and with JC. He's very persuasive. I think anything else will be a little toning. I don't think I can get much smaller than this anyways." She laughed softly. "I haven't been since I was about 16 at least." 

"Girl, I think you look bomb. And you're happy and that's all that matters to me." Ashley looked at her friend through the reflection in the mirror. "So all I need to do now is choose what material you want from my swatch books... for the full dress. There's so many different styles."

"Thanks ma," she giggled softly in reply. "I feel strong as hell and that's a good feeling. Okay, mmmhmm," she walked over to the books on the end table next to her tea. "Oh wow. There are so many choices. What's your favorite to work with?"

"Based on the ideas you've shown me and the sketches I've started, I think I want to mix some of them up. Can I play and show you in a month and surprise you? If you hate it I can start over." 

Sam grinned. "Of course. I completely trust you. You're a genius, and you know my body and what works well for it."

"I swear I got this," Ashley grinned, "Put your clothes back on and let's have a celebratory mimosa."

***

An hour and a half had passed in a blur. Justin and JC were on autopilot, switching out on machines and spotting the other. JC was spending some extra time on his bicep curls, lost in thought. "J... don't you just feel so much more... grrr?"

Justin smirked. "I feel like I wanna unleash on babygirl harder than usual."

"RIGHT!" JC finished and he was covered in sweat, sucking in some breaths. "I keep thinking about how hard we got it at the cabin in Big Bear. And I just want to like... lose my mind on her."

Justin smirked harder. "Ashley has always liked it rough but lately she's been feeling it harder than before, so I know exactly what you're putting down bro."

"She would like that shit." He grabbed a towel to wipe his face. "I love that Sam and I keep it whatever the mood is, so it's always changing. Like when we first started dating it was nothing but fucking passion... just straight up fucking. Not even more than a hello before BAM."

Justin laughed all low. "I remember you telling me about sinking your hands into those thighs. That's all you talked about."

"Well yeah... have you SEEN her?" He grunted. "Those thighs. That ass. Everything is just UGHHHHH. Justin I can't handle it sometimes."

Justin smirked. "Yes and I've SEEN her looking at YOU like you're the snack of the year."

JC sucked down half of his water bottle in a gulp. "I think it's time for a snack."

"We are way beyond the snacks man," Justin reset the weights on the machine, then stood in front of the mirror and smirked at his reflection. "Time for a five course meal."

"I mean I might take mama up to the guest room and not come out until tomorrow. Just send food." JC laughed, cracking his knuckles as he picked up his shirt, draping it over his shoulder. 

"Bro, just go home. You don't need to smash all night in my house when you live 20 minutes away," Justin rolled his eyes. They closed the door to the gym behind them as they began to walk up back to the house.

Both men were walking up the stairs, pushing on each other. "The fuck! You never have had a problem with smashing before. What the hell has changed now?" JC looked over at him. He felt himself growing impatient with Justin's usual teasing. 

"Because it's my house! You can smash at your own place!" Justin called back. He was even shocked at how annoyed he was with JC. 

Both women were sipping their mimosas and looked up at the noise coming from the hallway. 

"Well okay..." Ashley said, looking from the two men and their commotion back to Samantha. 

"You didn't have a problem with it when you invited us and you were caught up in your own!" JC yelled at him. If you didn't know them well enough, the two friends actually sounded angry and annoyed with each other. 

"Because this is MY HOUSE! Don't get your panties in a twist because you were interrupted." Justin growled. As they both stepped into the kitchen, he looked up and grinned seeing the girls there. "Ohhh hello ladies."

"The only one wearing panties in a twist is you, trying to make your girl black out." JC sucked down his water bottle, grinning when he saw the girls. He licked his lips, watching Samantha. 

"Uhh, who's trying to get me to black out?" Ashley asked. Her eyebrow shot up and she looked at Samantha who began to purse her lips in return. This was a new side of both men she hadn't seen before. 

"This shithead, walking around talking about how he's gonna unleash on his woman. Smash in the guest house." Justin said.

"Not again." She rolled her eyes but laughed softly. When those two got started their play fights turned them into 12 year olds. "Ashley, we can't leave these two unattended."

"You liar! You said you were gonna give it to babygirl rough and harder than normal." JC narrowed his eyes at Justin. 

"Wow," Ashley shook her head, "I thought they were doing so well being mature and graduating from acting like teenagers."

"And YOU said you were gonna lose your mind on Samantha harder than Big Bear. SO." Justin retorted.

"And with that, we're going. I'll call you later this week Ashley..." Sam sighed and gave Ash a quick hug, leaving her just-sipped mimosa on the counter. Both girls exchanged looks.

"Oh GREAT," JC groaned. He sucked the last of his water bottle down and mean mugged at Justin. 

Sam looked over at JC. "Let's go Joshua. You can puff your chest out in our own house."

"Wait, wait, wait. I'm not ready to leave," JC said. He looked over at Justin who was making his way toward Ashley. 

"Joshua Scott, what could possibly be that important here?" Sam asked. 

"On that note, the car will be JUST fine." He grinned, "I like when you get all feisty with me." He grabbed his keys off the counter, took her hand and pulled her out the front door. 

"Can you at least pull your shirt on before you start to drive?" She looked at him. His chest was flaring in and out and his skin was still a shiny red and sweaty. His eyes were a steely grey the way they were just before he was ready to throw down.

"Nope." He opened her door, licking his lips. He couldn't help himself but grab her by the waist and pull her all up into his body harshly. He was hard as hell for her and had a little smirk. "Hi gorgeous."

"What were you doing up there with Justin? Wrestling?" She couldn't help but laugh softly at him, feeling him throb against her. Her hands went to his chest feeling the fine layer of sweat. His heart was pounding through his chest and felt like it was racing under her fingertips.

He lifted her ass up into his swoll and flexed arms right there, pushing his hips right against hers into the side of the car. He brought his lips to rest against hers. "Don't you worry about that." He bucked his hips into hers to let her know what was up and where his mind was. 

"Josh..." she pulled herself back a little bit. "Not right here ok? We're in Justin's driveway."

"Oh c'mon, baby. It'll be fun. Different. Risky. We've already done it outside here before." He took a playful nip at her lip. "C'mon Samantha." JC's voice was low. He let his fingers try to sink into her hips through her jeans as he held her. He was getting grabby.

"Joshua Scott Chasez." Her voice was serious as she looked at him. Something was off, not quite like her man, and she couldn't put her finger on it. 

He grinned, looking down at her, steely eyed. "That's right. You'll want to call out my entire name." He reached down and grabbed at her thigh before he crashed his lips against her jaw and neck.

"Josh. STOP." She moved her head away from his lips. "Seriously. Stop."

He made a face. "REALLY?" He scoffed, letting her down so he wasn't holding her anymore. "Fucking really... Fine." He walked over to the driver's side and stared at her for a long moment from across the car. Why wasn't she taking the bait? She had never rejected his advances before, ever. He hastily tossed on his white tank top, grumbling.

"Just drive me home please." She crossed her arms once she got into the car. As he got in the car next to her, the rain began to fall. It hadn't rained in several weeks in LA but at that moment, the skies opened up. When he started the car, she angled her body to look out the window. Tiny droplets of rain fell down the windows, then big pounding drops. 

JC's jaw was set and he could feel himself growing more and more upset. He felt rejected... this was not the outcome that he expected and as he drove his way down the hills he sped up to get to the freeway. "Get out of my way," he growled. The water pooled on the streets and made loud sounds in his tires as the car pushed through. 

She was leaning her head against the window and she made a low sound. "Josh, pull the car over if you need me to drive. Or fix your attitude because you're not going to hurt me in whatever mood you're in."

"I'm not going to hurt you, what the hell?" He looked over at her as he merged onto the freeway. "What is wrong with you? Like for real Samantha?"

She shook her head, feeling a deep sense of deja vu. He was acting just like Julian and the flashbacks were intense. She said nothing and continued to stare out the window. The car accelerated and she finally closed her eyes, feeling the familiar feeling of anxiety begin to settle deep in her chest. 

The 20 minute ride home was one of the longest 20 minutes JC could remember. No words were spoken, no music was playing, just a deep, thick tension that had settled over them. He couldn't remember being in a car with her without having his hand on her thigh or holding hands with her on the arm rest. They might as well have been in different cars. 

With a final squeal of the tires, JC pulled his Mercedes into the garage. He watched Samantha fly out of the car and storm inside and he was right behind her. "SAMANTHA BENTLEY! Are you going to talk to me or what?" His genuine concern was overtaken by the annoyance and short temper that had taken over him since the conversation began earlier in Justin's stairwell. 

She turned around to look at him. "I have nothing to say to you right now, Joshua."

He growled and stomped his foot, then ran his hand through his hair. "Fine. I can't make you do shit!" He threw his hands up in the air. He felt the veins in his neck begin to bulge with an anger he hadn't felt in ages brewing in his belly. 

"You're right, you can't make me do shit. I'm a fucking woman. Not some doll you can stick it in whenever you want because you and your friend are acting like teenagers." Her eyes were cold and void of the familiar emotion as she stared at him for a long moment that felt paralyzing to him. After she turned around, she put her purse down in the living room and walked upstairs to their bedroom feeling the suffocating need to cry take over her entire body. 

JC stood in the foyer, staring at the spot where she last stood. She had never looked at him that way before. The emotions swirling through his mind were confusing. He felt aggressive and angry that she had rejected him, but at the same time felt knocked on his ass at the way she was reacting. As rational thinking slowly began to creep back into his brain he knew he really upset her, but he needed a few minutes to make himself calm down some more and he also knew he needed to eat something. He sighed harshly and walked into the kitchen to make himself a quick protein shake. He paced around the kitchen, chugging it. He was mumbling to himself as he drank the shake. Gradually, the anger subsided and the fixated fog he was feeling began to lift. As he looked over at a photo of them framed on the kitchen island, the deep sense of dread and regret took over. 

Upstairs, Sam made a little face and sat in the armchair near the windows, grabbing a book off the table. After a few tears were shed, she needed a moment herself to cool her head. Starting from a few days previous to the kitchen at the Timberlake house, she knew something was off. He had begun to act like Julian and she wasn't sure she could handle this situation again. Her finger played absentmindedly at her engagement ring as she found herself in her thoughts, reflecting on his behavior in the recent past. She sucked in a breath and opened up the book to escape. 

JC let a good half hour go by pacing the entire lower level of the house, knowing he had finally calmed down. He had taken the peanut butter from the pantry and a spoon and walked upstairs. He walked right into the bedroom, sitting on the bed as he ate his peanut butter off the spoon. "Hey..."

She looked up at him from the armchair. "Hi." She let her eyes roam his body, more in a questioning way than the admiration he was used to. She was working in her brain to try and put the pieces together. 

His voice was softer than it was earlier, but still assertive. "What are you reading?" He took another small bite of the peanut butter. 

She held up the paperback book. "Just a novel. Nothing major. Just some light reading. A little romance."

"Ah." He nodded, then looked down at the peanut butter jar. He was about to ask a question and he was pretty sure he knew the answer. "Are you mad at me?" he asked.

"Yes." Her voice was simple and to the point. She looked up at him and put the book down on the arm of the chair. 

JC made a face. "Okay..." His heart was pounding again but this time in a different way and he knew it. 

"Yes. I am mad at you right now, because at this moment I don't feel like I'm connecting with, or even really know the man that's sitting on the bed. And I definitely do NOT know the man who was walking out of Justin's house before." She continued. She watched his gaze intently on her, noticing his eyes were returning to their more normal shade of blue. His entire body looked more relaxed. But she was used to this too... This pattern was all too familiar. 

He scooped up one more spoonful of peanut butter then put the lid back on. He took one lick while he was looking at her intently. "You know me. I'm JC... your Josh. I was just amped up from working out with J. We were talking about sex."

"There's a difference from when you're amped up about sex and the kind of shit that's been happening the last few days." She shook her head slightly. "I promised you that I wasn't going to hold back on you and be extremely transparent with what I'm feeling."

JC started to feel uncomfortable and shifted his body to face her even more. "Can you come and sit over here with me please?" The distance between their bodies felt too great. Since the day they met she constantly had him pegged and always called a spade a spade when she saw it. The one thing he loved deeply about her made that feeling of dread grow deeper inside. 

"Why don't you come over here?" She asked softly. "There's room on the ottoman."

JC left the peanut butter jar and the spoon on the edge of the bed and within seconds he was sitting on the ottoman, scooting it closer to her. Before he knew it rhe words came rushing out. "Samantha, I'm really really sorry." He nervously scratched the back of his neck. "I just... I think I thought something was going to be a great idea when it wasn't, at all."

Her voice grew soft in that moment. "Josh..." She shook her head, not in rejection of his apology, but she was in her own head with all of this because it was running a parallel to her past relationship. "What's going on with you? I need you to be honest with me."

He sighed. "Justin and I were talking while we were in Hawaii about me turning 30 and wanting better and faster results for the wedding and honeymoon. I was worried that not being on tour I wasn't going to get in shape well enough. Anyways, Joe had bought some natural supplements in Tokyo that were a natural testosterone... and J and Joe convinced me to try it. Honestly, we thought it was going to be amazing." 

Sam rubbed her face.  "Josh, do you know how bad that shit fucks you up? There's absolutely nothing wrong with your regular level of testosterone. Ugh."

"Baby, I know I have a good amount of testosterone. I just thought that there wouldn't be anything wrong with adding just a little bit more to look better and be a little more you know..." He stuck his chest out and a light growl escaped, "For you."

"I don't want you to stick out your chest anymore for me. I don't want you bigger. I don't want you to get more cut in any way. I like my guy just the way he is." She sighed softly. "Even more than your regular amount of those hormones starts to do shit to you. While you might feel more aggressive in your workouts and sex drive it starts to trickle down to everything else. Baby, I lived through being with a man who used shit like this." 

Julian. He should have known. "No, no no! I don't want to be like that. That's not at all what I wanted. I'm sorry. Shit... I'm sorry." He looked up at her and scratched the back of his head. "I can sleep on the couch tonight. I'm sorry." 

"I don't want you to get mean." Her voice got softer, almost unsure. "When he was on steroids he was so mean to me. And when you started yelling in the driveway..." She shook her head. "I can't go through that shit again Joshua."

"Oh no....." He got up off the ottoman and took her hands in his. He never liked to see the side of Samantha that Julian brought out- it made him angry for her. "I literally will never touch that shit again. I will never act like that towards you again, I promise, ok? I can't afford to lose you...  I can't. I won't." He felt his heart pound wildly.

She was looking up at him and could tell he was extremely upset. "Josh, I don't want you to lose me either. I don't want you to NOT be in my life. I'm just saying that I won't deal with what I've already been through with Julian. And I don't want you to end up with problems later on. All kinds of side effects and shit."

He started looking at her with wide eyes as he sat back down on the ottoman. His hands still held hers. "First of all, I am so, so sorry you had to deal with that piece of shit. And second... what side effects?"

"His temper. Oh god the fucking temper. He was so mean to me. Then he got addicted to taking more and more because the rush wasn't enough, and his chest started swelling because his body started turning the extra testosterone into estrogen. His back broke out like he was a teenager and it was disgusting. And I'm sure you've heard of what happens to the family jewels..." 

JC's face was set in a surprised expression as he watched her, thinking about everything she was saying. 

"I mean if you really wanted to go ahead and kill off future Chasez children." She sighed and tilted her head. "Josh, why didn't you just tell me you weren't happy with your body?"

"Wait. No, I'm not unhappy with myself at all." He looked down at his arms and chest then looked up at her. "I'm not unhappy. I love the way I am. I love working out with you and seeing the way you look at me with pride. It was just about being even better for you." He leaned forward and lifted her hands, linked in his, up to his face. 

"You don't need to be better. You're more than just right in my eyes. If you got any harder or bigger it would be like snuggling with a bodybuilder, and that shit isn't sexy to me. I can assure you that it's not the fastest way to get me wanting you." She smiled softly. 

"I won't do anything crazy anymore. I promise ok?" He pulled her hands to his lips and started kissing them over and over softly. "I don't want to look like one of those guys either. I really don't. I just want to compliment you and be strong enough to protect you."

"You already are. You're more than strong enough to protect me and love me honey. I don't need anymore or less of you. I want you to be confident and happy when we get married ok?" She smiled softly. 

He offered her a smile. "I am confident and happy right now, right here. I mean I still do feel kind of weird, this shit isn't a joke. I guess I need to tell Joey he's gonna need a bra if he doesn't stop." He bit his lip, hoping for a laugh from her. 

"Did you ever think maybe he has lower testosterone than you?" She looked up at him. "Though he does have a baby so I guess that's not an issue."

"Damn baby, you are so good at calling me out," he blushed, "I didn't think of that at all, and guys don't usually think about those things. But yeah, he doesn't seem to have any issues."

"And you definitely don't either. You work quite well down there if I do say so myself. You don't need help getting things started and you don't need help keeping it going. So let's not mess with a good thing okay?" 

JC couldn't help but laugh. "I promise you baby, promise you that I'm not going to mess with anything like that ever again." He leaned forward and put his lips to her forehead. "How can I make it up to you?"

She pursed her lips, looking at him. "I mean, we could have some ice cream in the den. You could probably twist my arm a little bit." 

"I would love that," he smiled, "But first I need to shower real quick.Why don't you get in your sweats and get the ice cream, and I'll be done and on the couch with you before you know it?"

"Okay sweetheart, I'll wait for you." she squeezed his hands a bit. "Go clean up."

He leaned in and placed one kiss on her forehead before hurrying into the bathroom. As he stripped down and started the water, he stopped in front of the mirror to take a long look at his reflection. He knew he was lucky, but he hoped he hadn't broken any part of Samantha's trust.